Matthew had no opinion about that outside of an uncomfortable sense of jealousy…of both her husband and his brother. His culture did not judge a man or woman for lying with another outside of their marriage as long as both parties agreed. So perhaps that’s what they did. He scowled and willed arousal away when he imagined her between two men. The arousal swiftly vanished when he realized neither of them was him. Then it started to grow again when he felt how sharply he wouldn’t want to share her with another.
How he would make sure she was all his.
“Cousin, you think deep thoughts and I wonder if you are paying attention,” Kodran murmured into his mind. “When will we seek shelter for rest? The human grows tired and leans on my new woman too much because of it. That is not good.”
He had been in such deep thought that he almost missed the turn-off to where they would sleep for the night. It was a spot one cave deep from the outside but heated thanks to hot springs that twisted and turned their way up through the rock. All seemed relieved by the temperature change.
Well, mostly just the human.
“Kadlin, you will hunt, yes?” Matthew’s eyes went to Sven. “And you will show Emily where the heat comes up from? I am sure she’s curious.” Nobody responded but nodded. Probably because of the stern tone of his voice when his attention turned to Cameron. “And you and I will finally take a few moments to get to know each other.” Before the man could respond, he shook his head sharply and said, “Come. Now. I gave you most of the night to acclimate yourself and said nothing. Now I will.” He strode toward the entrance, eager to see if the storm had abated any. “I will not hurt you. I only need answers.”
He had only made it a few steps when Shannon stopped him short with a few simple words.
“I think not.”
“You think not, what?” He perked a brow at her as he turned. “You think I do not deserve answers?”
“I think you do,” she countered. “But you’re not going to demand Cameron follow you into a corner to get them.” Her face was oddly serene considering the heat he detected in her tone. “Ask what you will right here. With me present. Someone he feels comfortable around.”
Matthew had no idea what to make of her demand except that he refused to deal with it. He didn’t have the patience. If not for her and Emily, he would already be an extra day north. He would be closer to where he hoped to find his son. And how did she repay him when he put her needs first? With defiance?
He knew his thoughts were unreasonable, but he couldn’t stop them.
Suddenly infuriated, caught up in one of those moods that came on so quickly, he scooped her up and headed anywhere ears weren’t listening. When Cameron protested, he thrust a hand in the air and threw up a sound barrier.
“Put me down, Matthew,” Shannon said, her voice a strange mix of warning and compassion. “You’re not yourself right now, and I don’t need my daughter to return and see it.”
Not himself? That might very well be.
“You wouldn’t be yourself either if your daughter were missing,” he growled and plunked her down close to the entrance, walked her until her back hit the rock and leaned close. “Now why don’t you give me the answers I need?”
“It’s been happening to you like this worse and worse since the raid, hasn’t it?” she said softly, that same glint of compassion and maybe even empathy in her eyes. “One second you’re fine, the next so upset you can’t see reason.”
He had to give her credit for being so courageous right now because he was pretty upset and far larger than her.
As if she read his mind she said, “So what, you think I’m brave because you’re tempted to hit me, yet I’m not cowering?” Her voice remained remarkably calm. “You wouldn’t hit me, Matthew.” Her gaze grew softer as though she understood something he didn’t. “You wouldn’t hit me any more than you would anyone you considered innocent.”
“Stop.” He frowned and pulled away, confused by her words. Or at least, determined to be. While tempted to ask her what she meant about his behavior since the raid, he did not. It wasn’t relevant to any of this.
He needed to stay focused.
“Why is Cameron here?” he said. “Who told him to come?”
“No one.” Shannon frowned and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“But it does.” Matthew clenched his fists as unexplainable rage filled him. “Why won’t you tell me, woman?”
“Because it’s irrelevant,” she managed, her breathing as harsh as his when he braced his hands on the wall on either side of her head.
“You need to step away, Matthew,” she said into his mind, not quite meeting his eyes. “There are things going on that you don’t understand.”
When his eyes narrowed, she must have sensed something because she closed her eyes in relief and said, “I heard we dragons could talk though the mind. So you can hear me?”
He almost told her he had been able to hear her for a while now but stopped. Then he almost told her that to hear one another like this so soon might mean even more, but decided to hold back on that as well.
“I can hear you,” he finally confirmed, frowning against the intense reaction his inner dragon was having. It was no small thing to hear another of your kind in your mind. Especially if they were of the opposite sex.
Especially if they were her.
“It is you, isn’t it?” she whispered aloud, her eyes still not quite meeting his when they opened. Equally affected by having him in her mind, she was struggling to catch her breath. Then, for the first time, her eyes finally looked into his as she knowingly spoke telepathically. “You’re still standing too close.”
He had never felt anything so impactful. To hear a female dragon within his mind while looking into her eyes. Right? He had never experienced this? Or had he? Perhaps with one of her sisters? If he had, it was nothing like this. Not even close. No, this was an unfamiliar level of intimacy that made his chest tighten, and his cock go hard.
Shannon’s breath caught, and she stilled. “You need to step away, Matthew. Now.” Sadness flickered in her eyes as they stayed with his. “Sigrunn is watching.”
Matthew narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?” He shook his head, growing agitated yet again. “Why would you mention my wife right now? What do you know of her?”
“I know both Sigrunn and your sister, Freydis,” she said aloud. For a second, it looked like she wanted to touch his arm in comfort but stopped herself. “Since Svala and Sean’s boat has been in the garage of the chalet in Maine, they’ve visited me often.”
Speechless, all he could do was stare at her as she continued.
“That’s why Cameron is here.” She was back in his mind again. “They couldn’t follow me when I traveled back in time, but they could attach themselves to Cameron when he showed up at the chalet.” She shook her head. “And not even he knows how they all ended up at Heidrek’s fortress. Just that they badgered him endlessly to find you and me wherever we were.”
He almost lashed out he was so upset. By her words. By her presumption that he would believe her. How could she do this? Say this? But then he remembered seeing them when he was in the future. Since then, he had denied it. He had started to believe it was his imagination despite seeing that cursed picture of Håkon taken by the enemy so soon after.
“I’m telling you the truth,” she said aloud but softly. “Read my mind, thoughts, whatever it takes, and you’ll see.” Then she glanced to her right. “Sigrunn is right there.” Her eyes returned to his, her words even softer. “She’s been looking for you for a while now, Matthew.”
Matthew stepped back but never took his eyes off of Shannon. He did, however, do something he had not wanted to do because he was too drawn to her and didn’t want to be.
He searched her mind.
Images flashed. Her. A tall, dark haired man who looked similar to Cameron. He must be her husband. Then when Emily was born. It was the best day of Shannon’s life. Afterward, he
witnessed other things. A woman and man fighting when she was young. That same woman lying on her deathbed. Her spirit as it left her body. Little Shannon in tears pleading with the woman’s spirit not to leave her. She didn’t want to lose her mother. Then there were other memories. Of a man he knew was Shannon’s father. How close they had become. How hard she tried to help ease the burden of him losing his wife. She put him first even though she had lost a mother.
Then he saw how Shannon looked at Matthew. The desire she didn’t want to acknowledge. The mixed feelings she still had for her deceased husband. Love, yes, but not always, not near the end.
Then other things.
The place she worked.
The endless living people she consoled.
The endless dead people she did the same thing for.
His eyes widened as Freydis and Sigrunn’s faces flashed in his mind. They were standing by Shannon in the garage talking away. Again and again. Freydis was angry and restless. Sigrunn was desperate to find him and Håkon. That’s when he knew with certainty Shannon was telling the truth.
Sigrunn was here.
Right here.
His breath hit the air in icy puffs as he pulled out of Shannon’s mind and slowly turned his eyes to the left. Though he couldn’t see anything definitive, a foggy cloud drifted nearby.
“Sigrunn?” he whispered.
No response. Nothing. He reached out to touch it, only for it to fade away.
“She’s gone now,” Shannon murmured. “She must have been thinking about Håkon. It drains her energy, and she vanishes.”
Baffled and overwhelmed, he leaned against the rock beside Shannon and stared at where Sigrunn had been. The harsh chill in the air faded.
“She was here…she was really here,” he whispered.
He continued staring at where she had been for several minutes, of which Shannon remained respectfully silent, before he murmured, “I’ve felt that coldness around me many times since the raid. Since she died.” His eyes drifted back to Shannon. “She’s been around me before, hasn’t she?”
Shannon nodded. “Yes.” She seemed to struggle to find the right words. “But it’s not like how you saw her being around me. It’s more like…” It was clear she was trying not to hurt him by the careful expression on her face. “In many ways, it’s as if she’s living her last moments on Earth without all the violence…just the confusion.” Her eyes held his, pained. “She misses and searches for you and Håkon…but she does it because of you, Matthew.”
He shook his head, confused. “I do not understand.”
“She remains connected to you for several reasons.” This time, he got the sense she wanted to slip her hand into his to offer comfort. “Like I mentioned before, staying so committed to someone who has passed on can have its consequences…especially when they die violently.”
“That’s one reason.” He narrowed his eyes slightly, not sure he wanted the answer but had to know. “What are the others?”
“Just one other.” She pressed her lips together. “But I’m not sure now is the time…”
“Just tell me,” he bit out a little harsher than intended.
She eyed him for a long moment before continuing. “She worries about Håkon. How lonely he is…because of the distance you’ve put between you two since she died.”
Matthew clenched his jaw against the pain that blew through him. Raw. Unexpected.
“I…” he started to say but shook his head, too overwhelmed with grief.
This time Shannon rested a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t do it because you’re a bad father, Matthew. You did it because you’re haunted. That’s also the reason your mood fluctuates so much…”
Only when she trailed off did he realize he hadn’t looked away but was lost in her gaze. It almost felt like a safety net. As if his wings had been clipped, but he wasn’t falling. She was holding him up. And this wasn’t the first time he had felt like this. But how was that possible?
Clearly understanding that he was not himself, Shannon kept speaking, her voice calm and soothing. “You and your family are caught in what I would call a rip between two worlds. One created by Sigrunn’s jarring death and your confusion over why you couldn’t protect her.” Compassion again lit her eyes. “And then there’s Håkon. Caught in the middle of it, his energy and sadness is feeding the rip just as much as yours and Sigrunn’s.” She shook her head. “You’re all going in a circle between this world and the next. You can’t break free. It’s keeping you connected in a way that’s damaging to all of you.”
He had no idea what to say to that. What to say to any of this. Because he knew every word she uttered was the truth. He had felt it. Lived it. Done what he thought was best for his son because he knew something was wrong with him. It made sense to keep Håkon away as much as possible.
It felt safer.
Look at the spontaneous rage he had just now felt toward Shannon.
His behavior was unpredictable. Maybe even dangerous.
“Mama, can you hear me?”
Matthew blinked several times as did Shannon, clearly startled to see her daughter standing beside her tugging on her shirt. When had Emily approached? How had they both been so unaware?
“I can hear you,” Shannon managed, her voice cracking before she cleared her throat and crouched. “Yes, I’m sorry. What is it, honey?”
“You might wanna come join the rest of us.” She pointed back toward the main cave. “Really quick.”
“Okay.” Shannon nodded and lifted her. “What’s going on?”
“It’s Freydis.” Emily frowned and shook her head. “She’s holding Uncle Kodran at the tip of her sword, and I’m pretty sure his dragon is on its way!”
Chapter Five
“BE A GOOD girl and let me handle this,” Shannon murmured in Emily’s ear. “Everything will be just fine.”
She handed Emily off to Sven and strode in Kodran’s direction, setting aside for now that her daughter not only seemed to see ghosts regularly but knew this one. “Enough, Freydis.” She kept her voice clipped and firm, her actions smooth and in charge. No emotion if she could help it. “Let your cousin go right now.”
“Why should I?” Freydis growled. “Especially when he turned coward in the midst of battle.”
She knew the only other person who could see the ghost right now besides Emily was Cameron. As far as everyone else could tell, Kodran was fighting some unseen force that could very well be the enemy.
“It is not Hallstein,” she assured Kodran, whose eyes were catlike as his skin sheened. Like Emily had warned, he was close to embracing his dragon. Another unexpected thing her daughter seemed to know. “It’s someone you cannot see clearly anymore.”
She might have said Freydis’ name, but it took Kodran a few moments to process it.
“Why did you say Freydis?” he ground out.
Shannon had no time to explain. She needed to push Freydis over the edge so that she would vanish. At least for now. Because having her around at the moment would be far too confusing.
“You’re not really seeing him,” she said to the ethereal woman. “It’s all in your mind, Freydis. He’s not really there.”
“But I can see him,” Freydis argued, more upset by the moment. “I can see Kodran.”
“Nope.” Shannon shook her head. “I’m afraid not.”
“But he’s right there,” Freydis screeched.
As she hoped, that’s all it took for Freydis to use the last of her energy and fade away.
“She’s gone,” Shannon said to Kodran. “Please put away your dragon before you frighten Emily.”
“I’m not frightened at all, Mama,” Emily exclaimed. “I want to see his dragon!”
Shannon kept her eyes locked with Kodran’s as he white-knuckled his blade. He still thought something was trying to attack him.
“She’s really gone, Kodran.” Shannon stood in front of his blade and kept her posture and voice very calm. “That wa
sn’t the enemy. Everything’s okay now.”
There was nothing quite like confronting a skittish dragon. His catlike eyes were wild, and he wasn’t all there. Before he could say a word or make a move, Matthew stood in front of her, protecting her, as he spoke to Kodran. “Put your blade away, or you and I will have the battle you’re seeking.” His eyes narrowed, his words a growl. “Do you understand, Cousin?”
Kodran kept his blade at the ready, still confused, as Matthew stepped so close the tip of it pressed against his leather jerkin.
“Do you understand, Cousin,” Matthew repeated, his words less of a question and more of a threat as he narrowed his eyes. “If you want a battle, I am right here.”
Kodran ground his jaw, his eyes just as narrowed. “What was that, Matthew?” He pulled his blade back a scant inch but kept a firm grip as his eyes flickered between him and Shannon. “And why did Shannon call whatever that was, Freydis?” His eyes widened. “Why did she call what just attacked me by your sister’s name?”
“Lower the blade, and I will tell you,” Matthew said, his voice not softening in the least.
Shannon shook her head. Matthew had just learned an awful lot himself. He needed time to come to grips with those things not to explain them to someone else. So she stepped around him, put her hand on the blunt edge of Kodran’s blade and met his eyes. “I will tell you.” She embraced that calm she was so good at. The one that put others at ease. “Please, Kodran.”
Kodran eyed her for what felt like eons before he lowered the blade a little more. His eyes and skin returned to normal. “Then tell me, Shannon.” Another flicker of unease met his eyes. “Now. Because I do not like the kind of secrets you have been keeping.”
Shannon nodded and bit back a shaky sigh. There were a lot of ways she could present this, but when faced with a dragon shifter who towered over her every bit as much as Matthew, she knew being straightforward was her only choice. And she needed to do it in a way he understood.
Fury of a Viking (The MacLomain Series: Viking Ancestors' Kin Book 4) Page 7
