by M. Lynn
“I don’t want to die.” Hua said the words so quietly she wasn’t sure he heard them at first. Focusing on her hands, she refused to look him in the eye.
“We all die in the end.”
She lifted her eyes, a burst of anger coursing through her. “But this is not my end. She’s going to erase me.” Hua pounded on her chest. “This body is mine. I refuse to let her steal it.”
“The Nagi does not want your body, dear child. She wants her own.”
“Her own…” Hua shrank away from him as understanding struck her.
“Tell me.” He cocked his head. “How do you keep her from resuming her form?”
The truth was she didn’t know. She’d felt the Nagi trying to transform into a dragon on their journey—probably to speed it up—and each time, Hua gathered every bit of strength she could and expanded her thoughts to fill the Nagi’s entire mind, flooding her with images of the battle for Kanyuan. “I don’t,” she lied.
He tapped his chin. “I very much doubt that. You are strong, Hua Minglan. It will be no easy task for the Nagi to push you from her mind.”
“And if she does? What happens to me then? Do I go into my next life, or…” She couldn’t speak the words she’d feared since learning the Nagi wanted to erase her. If Hua’s body didn’t die, would she be allowed into the next life? Or would she wink out of existence, never to reach Nirvana after many lives of struggles?
“I do not know. I am sorry. I wish I had the answers you seek.”
Hua’s shoulders slumped. Maybe this was her final night on this earth, the last time she’d ever feel breath entering her lungs or the pulse pounding in her head.
She lifted a hand, flexing her fingers and wondering how she’d never considered the wonder of it all, the magic of being able to move one’s legs in coordination with the direction of her mind.
Tears built in her eyes, and she let them fall, imagining what it would be like to never again feel the wetness on her cheeks.
“Hua.” Master Delun’s bald head shone in the firelight as she met his gaze. “You cannot force the Nagi to obey you, to let you remain, but you can make her believe she has succeeded in her mission.”
“What do you mean?”
“The Nagi wishes you gone, so you must cease to exist in her mind.”
“But—”
He cut her off with a wave of his hand and stood. “Come, sit in front of the fire.”
To her surprise, he lowered himself to the floor and folded his legs in, resting his elbows on his knees. He was much more flexible than a man his age should be.
Hua took a seat across from him and tried to match his pose, but her legs wouldn’t bend that way. She tried to lift one foot over her knee, and the movement threw her off balance. She let out a groan as her side slammed into the cold stone floor.
Luna would have laughed at her before striking the pose with ease.
With the sudden fierceness of a battering ram, she missed her sister. Luna was always smarter than her. She’d have known what to do. Hua could hear her melodic voice in her mind. “It’s going to be okay, miemie.” Hua would give anything in that moment to hear Luna call her little sister again.
But Luna wasn’t there, and Hua had to do this on her own. She straightened and folded her legs in a more comfortable way before lifting defiant eyes to Master Delun.
If anything was going to save her, it was the fact that she’d never done what anyone told her to. Defiance was her weapon, anger her tool.
The Nagi didn’t control her destiny.
“Teach me,” she demanded.
Master Delun nodded, and she’d have sworn she saw a smile forming. “You must let the Nagi become the dragon, let her control your heart as well as your mind.”
Hua’s eyes widened. No. That was one thing she couldn’t do, not after the horrors she’d witnessed. “I can’t.”
“You must. There is a darkness in a Nagi’s mind when they are in control.”
Hua nodded. She knew it well. When she wanted to wallow, she shrank away from the Nagi and hid.
“You have to let yourself fall into the darkness completely. No thoughts. No actions. You must disappear.”
Hua looked away to hide the fear in her eyes. Each time she inched toward the darkness, it took all of her strength to come back. If it covered her completely… she didn’t know if she’d ever return. “What if I can’t come back?”
“Then the Nagi will win.”
Fear raced through her hard as she shook her head, tears clouding her vision. “No.”
He squared his shoulders, lengthening his spine as he put his palms on his thighs. “Close your eyes.”
Releasing a long breath, she let her eyelids flutter closed.
“Breathe,” he whispered. “In. Out. Let all the tension in your mind escape into the world.”
Hua’s shoulders relaxed as she focused on her breathing.
“Now, think of the Nagi.”
Hua flinched as images of the battle flashed across her mind before settling on her home outside Zhouchang. The rolling hills held a peace to them she’d never see again. Their quiet lives were destroyed the day they lost Luna; they just hadn’t known it yet. She saw her parents, Nainai, Ru—
“I see a man.” Master Delun’s voice held a hypnotic tone.
“Jian,” she breathed.
“This man… he is meant to aid the dragon.”
“What?” It couldn’t be true.
“The seer has foreseen it.”
“Qara?” Her eyes popped open, but Master Delun continued to squeeze his shut.
“He is coming here.”
“No.” She scrambled to her feet. “How do you know all this?”
He jerked back, his eyes popping open as if he’d just remembered she was there. “We are connected, Hua. Every Nagi that walks the earth can look into another’s mind.”
“Are there many?”
He shook his head, sadness entering his gaze. “You are the only other I’ve felt in many years. That is how you found us. I led your Nagi here.”
“You…” She stepped back, noticing the darkness now swirling in Master Delun’s eyes. “Your Nagi…” He took back control while they sat in front of those flames.
“Master Delun sends his regrets.” He rose to his feet.
Hua’s gaze darted to the door, but she’d never be able to outrun a Nagi even if he appeared to be an old man.
“Hua Minglan, I do not wish you harm.”
She whirled on him. “Harm? Harm! You wish to force me into the dark, never to return. But you listen to me, I am not as weak as you think. I won’t be erased without a fight. Nagis have no place in this world. You aren’t human!”
He turned his back on her to stare into the flames. “You are right. The Nagi are no longer of this world. We existed on this plane of existence to protect Piao. It’s ingrained in our very structure, but how do you protect an empire that has betrayed you?”
That was why Master Delun and his Nagi lived in a silent monastery in the mountains of Koulland. They no longer believed in Piao.
“Piao is no longer controlled by blood-thirsty emperors who hold onto their power by eliminating the dragon lines. But we are at war. You might live up here doing no damage to my empire, but this Nagi inside me… she has a plan that I can’t figure out, something to make Piao pay for the pain. If you help her erase me…” She sat down on one of the benches, exhaustion weighing her down.
It was too much. The fate of the empire sat on her shoulders, and she didn’t know what she could do. Unchained from human emotion, the Nagi could wreak havoc throughout Piao, the likes of which had never been seen before.
If Master Delun’s Nagi was anything like the old man, he’d understand without needing her to spell it out.
The door opened and two red-robed monks appeared.
Master Delun—or rather, his Nagi—sighed. “Hua Minglan, it is time you return to your rooms. My master was wrong to let you in here.” He b
owed. “Sleep. All will be right when the Nagi once again takes hold of your mind.”
She tried to protest, but a hand clamped down on each of her arms and pulled her away. She bucked, trying to free herself. Still, Master Delun did not turn away from the fire.
“I won’t go,” she yelled. “You can’t erase me.”
The monks dragged her down the long, dark hall and shoved her into her room before slamming the door shut, cutting her off from any light.
As Master Delun told her before his Nagi returned, the darkness would be her friend. She’d let herself sink into the inky black void of the Nagi’s mind, but she’d return.
For her family. For Piao.
For Jian.
She’d fight.
14
The Nagi
“Try again.” Master Delun stood on the windy balcony facing the Nagi. “Do you feel her?”
The Nagi searched the recesses of her mind for the girl who’d been a constant companion for what felt like her entire life, finding only emptiness.
Thoughts rattled around her head, finding no one else to latch on to. For the first time since inhabiting this body, the Nagi was truly and utterly alone.
What should have been a satisfactory moment only left her feeling odd, like this body didn’t belong to her. Of course, it didn’t, not truly. But now the disassociation was more pronounced.
“Nothing,” she said.
Master Delun didn’t smile, he didn’t congratulate her. They were both Nagi but had very different goals. The old man still felt Piao needed to be protected as their mandate bid them.
The Nagi inhabiting Hua wanted the empire stripped down to its core. And there was one way to begin.
But not if she couldn’t transform into a dragon. Without Hua in her mind keeping her from her true form, the shift should have been easy.
Master Delun pulled himself up onto the stone wall encircling the balcony. He threw his arms out to keep his balance on the slick surface before reaching a hand down to the Nagi.
If this worked, she would be one step closer to her goal. If it didn’t, this body would break. How did humans survive in such weak forms?
Taking Master Delun’s hand, the Nagi pulled herself up, almost falling as her foot hit the snow-covered ice. Frigid air blew in their faces, and the Nagi closed her eyes, savoring the feel against her burning skin.
“Ready?” Master Delun asked.
The Nagi only nodded as she looked out into the valley below the balcony. Peaks rose in the distance, separated by dips in the land and snow-covered hills.
Lifting her face to the snow falling from the heavens, the Nagi stepped forward, letting her entire body drop off the balcony. Her stomach flipped as she tried to force the dragon form to come, sending surges of power straight through Hua’s heart.
A scream left her lips as the ground rushed closer. She braced for impact, but at the last moment, scales burst free, overlapping Hua’s skin. Giant scaled wings with ragged edges emerged and issued one powerful flap, their tips brushing the ground she came so close to meeting.
The Nagi rose as the wind caught underneath the wings. A bubble of glee rose in her before she released a stream of fire, carving a wide lane through the snow.
She swooped lower, brushing clawed feet through the fresh powder. Above, Master Delun soared through the sky, spinning and twisting with joy.
This was how a Nagi was supposed to live, free from human bonds and high above their meaningless woes.
If Hua could experience a feeling like this, she wouldn’t waste another thought on a man who’d led her into war or a sister who no longer walked this earth.
Dark emotions had no place high above the earth.
The humans believed in Samsura, the cycle of suffering one endured before reaching Nirvana.
But this flight… this freedom… if they let the Nagi return and show them what it meant to fly, they’d never have to suffer again.
As the Nagi circled the bleak monastery, she spared a single thought for the girl she’d banished from her mind, wishing Hua too could see this.
But Hua put chains on her, preventing the Nagi from transforming.
The Nagi had no choice but to rid herself of the human burden.
It was the only way to continue on a path for justice.
15
Jian
“She needs someone to care enough to bring her back.”
Qara’s words were the only thing keeping Jian moving through the snow-deep mountain passes. He’d crossed into Koulland days before, but he didn’t know how much longer he had to travel to reach the monastery.
Ice crusted his gloves as he wrapped chilled fingers around his horse’s reins and focused all his strength on just staying in the saddle. He’d fallen off periodically throughout the day, but always managed to get back up.
When was the last time he’d slept? Each night, he set up a tent to keep the wind at bay, but the cold never went away, leaving him shivering as he lay awake.
He’d switched horses at each village he found, but there hadn’t been another village in days.
Weakness enveloped his very bones, and he pitched forward, clinging to the saddle, trying to keep the darkness encroaching on his vision from overtaking him.
Hua. He had to get to Hua. Qara was right. She needed someone to care enough to bring her back. He wanted to believe she could do it on her own, but if Hua was in control of her actions, she’d never have killed Luca’s men.
He’d have given anything to have Luca at his side, but his best friend’s mission was just as important. If Jian managed to help Hua defeat the Nagi, he refused to have to tell her anything happened to her family.
Jian’s job was to bring her back. Luca’s was to make sure she had something to come back to.
Jian’s vision went blurry as he tilted to the side, unable to keep himself upright.
His body went limp as he slid from the horse, but Jian didn’t feel himself hit the ground. He didn’t sense the snow closing over him.
Because he was already gone.
Warmth seeped into Jian where he lay on a small cot.
Wait, a cot? He hadn’t brought any such thing with him. In fact, he’d been sleeping on the cold ground inside his tent.
His eyes slammed open, and he instantly regretted it as pain pierced his skull.
Where was he?
A domed tent surrounded him, held up by a ring of wooden poles. Vibrant reds and yellows decorated the cloth from floor to vaulted ceiling, making the space seem bigger than it was.
The bed he was in served as one of the few pieces of furniture other than a small stove across the space.
In the center of the tent was a hand-woven blue carpet and low table.
A wooden door kept the weather from entering.
As he sat up and peered closer around the tent, his eyes widened. This was no Piao military tent.
“A yurt,” he whispered. The favored homes of the Kou, easily movable, sturdy and able to withstand harsh weather. Jian remembered the structures well from his time in Koulland.
Was he a prisoner?
He pushed off the furs someone had piled on him, finding a woolen robe and pants adorning his frame rather than the clothes he’d had on last.
Someone knocked on the door and pushed it open. The older woman hesitated only for a moment. “You’re awake. That’s good.” She crossed the room and held out a chipped black ceramic cup. “Milk tea. You drink.”
He didn’t reach for it. “Where am I?”
“Take tea.” She thrust it toward him again.
With a sigh, he did as she asked.
“Drink,” she ordered.
He lifted the cup to his lips and savored the steam rising from the top, letting it warm his face before he took a sip.
How long had it been since he’d had a simple cup of tea? He’d traveled for weeks now but couldn’t manage to keep a fire lit long enough to heat a kettle when the winds and snow blew it out constantly
.
The woman nodded in satisfaction and pointed to herself. “Sarnai.” She pointed to him. “Soldier.”
“No.” He sat up straighter. “Not soldier.” Not anymore, at least. “My name is Jian. I am searching for someone.”
She pursed her lips like she didn’t believe him.
“Mama,” a voice cut off her next words.
The older woman turned and rushed from the yurt as a younger man entered, ducking his head at the door. He couldn’t have been much older than Jian, but he looked every bit the Kou warrior. Swirling black tattoos stretched up his thick neck. His red robe hung off his massive frame with gold threading depicting the image of a dragon.
An image forbidden across the border in Piao.
“Forgive us.” His voice held little of the Kou accent his mother’s had. “My mama speaks very little Piaoan. She has not been trained as a warrior.”
“And you have?” Jian would never trust anyone loyal to Koulland.
The big man sighed. “Something like that. My name is Khenbish. Most people call me Khen. You and I have a lot to discuss, Jian Li.”
“How do you know who I am?” Jian freed his legs, his eyes searching the room for the sword he’d had with him. “Are you Altan’s man?”
Khen rubbed the back of his neck. “We only belong to one master.”
“Who?”
“His name is Delun, and he has been awaiting your arrival.”
“He knew I was coming?” That didn’t make any sense. Unless…
“Yes.” The man turned to the door. “His Nagi is very eager to meet you.”
A young girl with wide eyes rushed in with a wooden bowl in her small hands. She had to be around Ru’s age. Jian stared at her, wishing he could see the young boy he’d come to love instead.
But Ru wasn’t his brother, and he needed to make sure the kid saw his sister again.
“Thank you, Baya.” Khen took the bowl from her and dipped his head with a smile.
The girl scurried back out into the cold.
