“You’re a fantastic vet is one reason. Two, you’re an incredible mom. Three, you’re an amazing woman. Four, you’re fucking gorgeous. Five…do you want me to keep going because we might be here all day.” He makes me laugh. He’s the first man in a long time that’s made me laugh. Being with him these last few weeks made me realize I miss the companionship of a man and laughter to go with it. Oh God, do I miss laughing.
“Luke, I have so much baggage, why on earth would you want to be with someone that has so much to deal with?”
He pulls his shirt up. “You see this…this is fucking baggage, Kate!” But you look at it and see nothing. Just like I look at you and the girls and see happiness. I can see my life being happy with you. Your daughters and my daughter are just icing on the cake. For the love of God, please, be mine. Let’s see where each other’s baggage takes us.”
Grabbing his neck, I pull him down to my lips and kiss him. Damn, he’s such a great kisser; he makes me melt. I lower my hand and slip it under his shirt. I rub my fingers across the burn marks that cover his body. Luke shivers under my fingertips. His eyes have glazed over with lust. I clench my thighs when I feel my nipples harden. Trailing my fingers all over the grooves and creases of his scars, I look up at him with pure lust. “This isn’t baggage, Luke. This is proof of how strong you are, and proof that you’re a fighter. This isn’t baggage; this is honor. For as much as I put myself down, don’t you ever put this,” I pat his shoulder where his burn marks are, “down. You, Luke, are a fucking hero in my eyes. Don’t you ever call this baggage,” I command, fiercely.
I don’t know many military men or women personally, but I do know they give their lives for strangers every day. I watch the news; I know how many lives we’ve lost to these wars. To look at Luke and know he was a child when he went into the Army, never knowing this would be his destiny. It amazes me the strength he, and many other men and women, have.
“Now, will you please help me hitch this trailer to my truck while I go grab a horse?” I sweetly ask him, as I walk into the stable and bring Kara out of her stall, loading her in the trailer. Luke brings Mia out, and I guide her into the trailer. It’s supposed to be a hot day, even though it’s fall, and I don’t want the horses to stress out too much because of the heat. My trailer only can hold two horses, so I’m going to have to make multiple trips. The bitch of this is Ocala is an hour and half away.
Luke holds my hand as we drive. He’s easy to talk to. “Where are we taking the horses?”
“A guy I went to college with runs his practice and a horse ranch out here. We’ve stayed in touch through the years, and he was the one that pushed me to board horses, and showed me the ropes. His family owns fifty acres out here, so the horses have tons of room. Plus, he isn’t charging me boarding fees, just food. So, in a way he is contributing to my remodel expenses.”
“What about the owners? How do they feel?” I look down at our entwined fingers. I glance at his thumb, rubbing circles on the top of my hand. Just this simple touch he’s giving me makes me feel cherished. The emotion I’m feeling right now, I’ve never felt. I would’ve never thought the butterflies encasing my stomach would feel so good.
“The owners have known about it for a while. I let them know if they couldn’t find another place to board them for a month, I would take them to a ranch in Ocala. If they wanted to see them, they would have to go to the ranch. Out of the eight horses, four are going with their owners.”
We talk about the practice, my hopes and dreams for it. He tells me about how he became a contractor with the help of Brody. It turned out he enjoyed what he was doing and stuck with it. I ask him about his burns. He tells me about his Humvee being hit. He was the luckiest out of the four men. One lost his life, and the other two lost limbs and were severely burned. He only had the burns on his arm, chest, and stomach. He doesn’t go into detail, but he tells me he was flown to the Army hospital in Landstuhl, Germany where they got him stabilized and prepped for his flight to Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio. He almost lost his arm. He had to have skin grafts. He spent six months in San Antonio. Six months of hell. “I’d never, ever been in that kind of excruciating pain before. But, I was still lucky, considering many other men and women were burned worse than me,” he softly declares to me.
I hold his hand and return the favor of rubbing small circles on his hand. I change the subject, asking him about his tattoos. Obviously, he got them to cover the scarring and skin grafts. Looking closely, I can see the difference. Yet, it still doesn’t bother me. He was sexy as hell before he showed me his wounds. Like he said, I don’t see it. His shoulder, shoulder blade and upper arm is mostly a tribal tattoo and in between the artwork are dog tags with the names of the men he lost in his unit. He has a bald eagle with a banner that reads Live Free or Die below the tribal art on his lower bicep. A skull head with a military helmet on his head with sunglasses over his eyes and under the chin of the skeleton it reads ARMY. That artwork is on top of his forearm. Under his forearm, he also has a pink rose with Danika’s name and date of birth. Under the rose he has her baby footprints. It’s clear each piece of art has meaning to him, besides covering up the scarred canvas.
Every now and then he brings my palm to his lips and trails soft kisses all over it. Luckily the drive to Ocala flies by. We meet Dave at the ranch, and Luke and Dave help me unload the horses. We get them situated in the stalls with fresh food and water. Once we are done, we hop back into the truck and head back home for the second load of horses.
This time on the ride back, Luke is a little quieter. When I ask about it, he shares he hasn’t slept much, that I’ve been occupying his mind at night. Unsure how to respond, I turn my radio to my country station and we listen to the music. Luke holds my hand, and I drive us out of Ocala. Lee Brice’s song I Drive Your Truck comes on and I sing along to it. I’ve heard this song a hundred times. A quarter of the way through the song Luke releases my hand. Looking over, I see his fist clench and his jaw tighten. FUCK!! I hit the power to the radio and pull off the country road. Not thinking about the trailer I’m towing, the truck swerves at the sudden change in direction.
Once the truck is off the rural road, I put the truck in park and turn towards Luke. “Luke, I’m a fucking moron. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” I’m a complete space cadet. I can’t believe I just belted out the words to a song about how a guy copes with his brother’s death from war. I stare at him. His head is leaning against the window, eyes closed, and his breathing is getting more labored. “Luke, please look at me,” whispering to him, I place my hand on his fist. He recoils from my touch.
I turn in my seat, place my arms on the steering wheel and lean my forehead against my arms. I have no clue what to do. Over the last month he has told me he deals with PTSD, however he’s never given me suggestions on what to do. I’ve only seen a hand full of his PTSD episodes, most of the time he gets very quiet, or walks away from me, but we are in the middle of nowhere. Looking at him, his head is pressed against the headrest, eyes squeezed tight, and he’s obviously in pain. His breathing is only getting louder. Frankly, he’s scaring the shit out of me. I want to cry.
Doing the only thing that comes to mind, unbuckling my seatbelt, I kick off my boots, maneuver myself over the console, and straddle his lap. I grab his fist and gently unfold each finger, and place his hand on my waist. I do the same thing with the other hand. I feel his fingers slowly start to move. I gently rest my hands on his jaw, rubbing my fingers through his two days worth of stubble. “Luke, please look at me.” I quietly plead against his neck. I kiss him softly along his neck. He moves his head forward, and I know his eyes are open. “I’m so sorry.”
I lean back, and Luke just looks into my eyes. No words are spoken, but I can hear everything he’s saying in his touch. Moving his hands under my shirt, I feel heat against my skin. His hands are so warm; his fingers caressing my rib cage ignite feelings that scare the hell out of me, but I’ve never wanted anything
more. I’m the one who jumped into his lap; I will control this situation we’ve found ourselves in. I’ll bring him back to me. I can’t stand watching him fall into these black holes. It tears my heart out. Glazed green eyes still stare at me. He hasn’t blinked, or even moved. Just his fingers are doing all the work.
I gently grab his face and press my lips against his. Slowly he opens his mouth, and my tongue plunges in, wanting to take his mind off the nightmares that consume him. Still cupping his face, pulling back, I bite his lip. “Luke, touch me!” I beg and attack his mouth, again. Luke’s one hand leaves my side, and I hear the click of the seat belt. He grabs my hips and forcefully moves me up his harden shaft. Then he pulls my shirt off, and leans me back, so he can take my body in.
“Jesus…Kate,” are the first words he says to me. He keeps rubbing us against each other, my clit starts to throb, my nipples are like stones, and my breasts are so full. He leans down and feasts on the swell of my breasts. I let out a whimper. I haven’t been touched like this in forever. I want more; I can’t stop it. Reaching behind my back, I unsnap my bra and throw it onto the seat.
Luke reaches up and palms one of my breasts then brings his scorching tongue to my other breast. His tongue licks, sucks, and nibbles on my nipple while his hand pinches and rolls the other one. He makes my body shiver as if I were stranded in the cold, yet I’m sweating from the touch of his hands. I’m going to combust. I need to feel his cock. Unbuttoning his jeans, I reach into his boxers and fist his cock. Luke hisses and presses his head back into the seat. His cock feels like granite, yet soft as velvet. I continue to pump my hand over the length of his impressive cock.
Luke looks utterly lost and in pain. I have no clue if I’m making this better for him, or worse, he’s said two words to me since all of this started. I can only hope what I am doing is making him forget the horrid visions that keep coming into his life. I scoot off his lap and kneel on the floor of the truck. The glove compartment is digging into my back, but I don’t care. I want Luke to feel something, anything to bring him back to me. After spending so many nights wondering what he would feel like in my hands and what he would taste like on my tongue, I want to taste him. With my help he pulls his jeans and boxers down over his hips. I dart my tongue along the bulging vein of his cock. He inhales a deep breath, and I take him completely into my mouth. Luke’s body flexes and his legs tense. My tongue and lips are devouring him, sucking forcefully.
He grabs me by the shoulders and gently pulls me up. He kisses me hard and desperate. He needs more, his kisses are telling me he needs more. I draw away and stare into his lost eyes.
Why can’t he talk to me? He licks his lips and I am gone. Looking down at his penis, still at attention. I unbutton my shorts and pull them off, along with my panties. I can feel his need for me; I need him. I’m in pure heaven, right now, and all I can think is I want him inside of me. I need to feel him move inside me.
Once I am in position, I place the head of his shaft at my opening, and without hesitation, impale myself on him. He growls deep into his chest. I grind into him and rock my hips. Feeling the burn in my lower stomach makes me go harder and faster. Luke lowers his head to suckle on my breast. I’m whimpering from the pure bliss of what I’m feeling. I’ve never felt this full. Luke’s cock is doing things to me that have never happened before.
I keep pushing the feel of my orgasm away. I don’t want to come, yet. I want to come with Luke. He’s giving me this hard look of fury, want, desire, and pain. I want the sparkle in his eyes to come back. I bring his mouth to mine and kiss him. Still rocking my hips hard, I kiss him slowly and softly. Praying my lips will tell him how I feel, I want him to open up to me. Tell me that what I am doing is helping him. With my lips I plead my worries to him.
He pulls back and whispers, “I’m going to come, Kate.” With those words I make my aching lower body work harder and faster. He throws his head back against the seat. Once I feel his cock enlarge, I let go and feel my world tilt as we find the release that’s been building since the day we met. I’m left sweating and trembling from the effects of a mind-blowing orgasm. An orgasm so intense my teeth are chattering and my legs are quivering.
Luke still has his head back against the seat. Shit! Grabbing his face with both of my hands, I pull him to me. Eye to eye, I command, “Luke Ashton, don’t you dare shut me out. I’m here for you, please talk to me…say something?” With begging eyes I plead with him.
“Sunshine…mine…you’re mine!” he proclaims, and I’m stunned. Not what I was expecting he would say.
“I’m sorry about the song and making you go…there. You scared me when you wouldn’t talk to me. What do you want me to do when you have these triggers? How can I help you?” I plead to him, wanting some direction of a way to help him cope.
“Sunshine, I don’t want you to be scared. Please know I will never hurt you. What you just did helped me. Thank you, baby,” he says, kissing me on the forehead. “Got to say, this is not how I wanted our first time to go. I want to kiss every inch of your body, want to worship it. You. Amaze. Me. Kate.”
Kissing him back, I reply, “You’re pretty amazing, too.”
I end up having the worst leg cramp, so I open the door, still naked, and stand against the truck, getting dressed. Luckily the road we’re on is ‘no man’s land’ and we weren’t sticking out like a sore thumb, but I gave Luke a great laugh. Walking around the truck, I hop back in, slide my boots back on and get us back on the road; we delayed our travels by almost forty minutes. He holds my hand again, and smiles at me.
“I want to take you and the girls out.”
Looking at those sparkling green eyes, I’m stunned, “You do? Like a date?”
“Yeah, like a date. With the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on and two of the cutest girls I’ve ever met.” I just smile; smile that this man wants me in his life, along with my girls. I still have reservations about starting a relationship. As much as I want to be with Luke, commitment scares the shit out of me.
“Luke, my life story is crazy and complicated, why would you attempt this?” I ask.
“Sunshine, we can’t erase our past, but we sure as hell can turn the page in your story and create our own crazy, happy life together.” He knows exactly what to say and when to say it. I have to tell Beth that I think I have turned the page in my life. Now, I’m entering my next chapter.
I WENT SOLO for the second trip to Ocala with just my runaway thoughts to keep me company. I told Luke to stay and finish his work in the clinic. The girls need to be picked up on my way home anyway. I blare the radio, hoping to drive out the absurd thoughts going through my dense head. I can’t believe what I did. Look at me, I haven’t been alone with a penis in forever and the first thing I do is impale my body on one. What the hell is wrong with me?
After my little wham bam with him, Luke didn’t talk much on the way back home. He’s probably thinking I’m the biggest slut ever. Give me a tormented man and the one way I can think of bringing him out of his ordeal is to slide up and down on his cock. UGH! I’m completely screwed in the head when it comes to men. Luke isn’t going to want anything to do with me.
The drive was hell, my stomach was in knots and I developed a pounding headache from the tension I was wallowing in. Finally, after the almost two hour trip, the rest of the horses were unloaded, fed, and hydrated. Getting back into the truck, I look at my phone and there’s a text from Luke.
Luke: Have dinner with me tonight?
What, he wants dinner with me? I swear, I can’t read this man.
Me: Really?
Luke: Yes, really! I know we did things backwards, but I want to take you out on a date.
Me: Give me a minute to call my grandparents.
I call my grandmother to check in on the girls, and to ask if she and my granddaddy are up for keeping them one more night. She was getting concerned, so finally, I confessed to her I had a last minute date. She squealed with excitement! “Yes, d
ear, I would love to have the girls for another night. We’re making oatmeal cookies as we speak. You want to talk to them?”
Nana is the epitome of what a grandmother should be. She does all the cliché things grandmothers are supposed to do. I remember the endless baking, painting, sewing, and gardening she did with me. She continues those activities with my girls, and my baby girls are blessed to have her.
I talk to my girls, informing them they get to stay one more night. Julia is her hyper self, squealing and most likely jumping all over the place. I could hear Granddaddy reprimand her. Granddaddy is as cuddly as a teddy bear, but ferocious as a Grizzly bear. Let’s just say, my Granddaddy put the fear in me, and any boy that ever came my way. That’s why I didn’t have my first real boyfriend until college, where I was a couple hours away from him. My grandparents are a great balance. They instilled values in me that I carry on to my girls. After a ten-minute conversation with them, I reply to Luke at the next red light.
Me: We’re on for tonight. I should be home in an hour or so. Are you still at the clinic?
Luke: No, I am home now helping Danika pack.
Me: If you want to spend more time with her, we can do this another night.
Luke: No, I want to see you and take you out. Plus, she has some sorority thing.
Me: I’ll call you once I get home. Getting on the highway.
Luke: Drive careful, sunshine
I can’t contain my smile as I floor it home. As soon as I walk in the house, I call him to find out what I should wear. He tells me something dressy, but not too dressy. He just wants to see me in a dress, I think. The poor man has seen me at my worst most of the time.
Let’s not talk about me tearing apart my closest to find something that will bring him to his knees. Settling on a cobalt blue mini dress. Ella picked it out for me for my thirtieth birthday celebration. I don’t think I have worn it since. Throwing the dress on the bed, I walk into the bathroom for a much-needed hot shower, where I lather, scrub, and shave everywhere. I blow dry my hair and curl it in big loose waves. I actually apply make-up. Ella would be so proud. I give myself the smoky eye look, pink blush, and pink lip-gloss.
Life's Next Chapter Page 6
