by Jesse David
He is now driving to this long road going to the nursing home. He is alone but he can do it if he doesn't fall asleep and crash. But no, with his determination, he gets to the 2nd hand car shop early in the morning. He even saw the dealer with a welcoming bitter face. The old man just waves with a smile. He doesn't know why he does it but he just feels it.
The dealer just goes inside his office and closes the door damn hard.
Why is it when we are going to somewhere, it feels like it is hard to reach and it takes too long to reach the destination. But after you get there, and you are going back, it is much faster and easier. Why? I don't know if science can explain this, is there a theory about this or psychology behind this.
Or is it maybe because we know where are going, that is why it is fast. Rather than finding it because almost all of the time, we don't know what we are looking for, we never know what we like.
So maybe, the old man get home faster because he knows where is home and what does he want.
He is almost near the home for the aged when the car stops, the car sudden stops in the middle of the road. Good thing is that the old man has his seatbelt. Or you know what can happen.
He is pretty near the home for the aged. He can see it from where he is. He just smiles looking at his home. Maybe we just need to continue our life rather than finding what has been lost.
But out of nowhere he just looked to his side and sees the cemetery. He does know why but he goes inside and starts looking in the grave. He remembers seeing the tombstone of different people. Having how they die and their work. Maybe that is how we sum a person, how it dies and what its work. Maybe for some people, it will be different, but it only applies if you've done something significant that changes human lives and I guess being an employee doesn't really drastically change lives. Well maybe the immediate family of the employee but never a lot of people.
He just walks until he gets to the tree. He pats the tree like an old dog. Then he saw the angel. It always makes an intriguing look. He goes to it closely.
He goes ground the statue and nothing seems to be off but he knows in his heart that something is different. There is something with the statues.
He sits in front of the angel. It seems sad. Well, he guesses that every statue is sad. It is sad when you had the image of a living thing but you never been lived. There is something always off with the eyes of the statue. It seems it lack of an adventure, the same as humans. But who are we to judge a statue? It is made of stone and made to stay where they were placed.
The old man goes to very far places but goes back to where he came from. Maybe he doesn't really have memory and all his life he never lives normally. And maybe it is best to just have that adventure and never had an adventure at all.
Chapter 27
The old man just stares at the statue. You know that feeling when you have nothing to do and you just stare straight to the endless future. Well that is now what is happening to the old man. He just let the time passed.
Well, that happens to his life. He was unconscious before and the days of his life become a mirror with a mirror in front of it, repeating each other, just endless nonsense.
He is slipping again. He is going back to that stupid sleep walking old man waiting for his life to end.
His vision is becoming darker and it became a tunneling vision. The light become smaller until his vision almost became all black. Did I say 'Almost'? Because his vision came back when someone says, "Hey." It is said in a gentle way but the old man almost spits his mouth out.
"Are you ok?"
The old man holds his chest with every heave. Then he realized that this woman could be beside him for a long time.
The old man stares like he seen an angel. He doesn't answer and just look straight to this woman.
"Hey." The woman said. She is going to touch the old man's shoulder but he jerks before the touch.
"Yes, I am ok." The old man said.
The woman shows his warm smile. She gives the look that she understands everything and it will be all right.
"Do you know her?" She asked.
"No. I just. Ah. The angel. I like the angel." The old man said.
"Me too. And it is sad."
"You notice it too huh?"
"But it is still beautiful but sad."
"What about you, why are you here?"
"Because I'm here," She said with a smile. "Because it is peaceful here, because that is how it supposed to be."
"You're right. I'm going to die soon and I want to be here too."
"What is your name?"
"I do not know. Got some problem with my head."
"I know." Yep, she said this with a smirk.
"Does it show on the way I talk?"
"No. I'm judge mental cause I see you fading away earlier."
"Fading. Yep, I was fading. I think I'm becoming stupid again. Thanks for that, but how do you know that I'm fading?"
"I see it in your eyes."
"How?"
"Let's say I'm also has a brain problem and I know the symptoms."
"Really? What is your name then?"
"Bel."
"You know who you are."
"A name doesn't mean that you know who you are."
"At least, you got something."
"Make something up."
"What do you mean, lie?"
"No. Make new memories. Make new you."
"Well, I came from an adventure and it was good."
"Yes, I know."
"How?"
"You look tired."
"But you know what, that adventure is a distant memory, seems like it happens years ago."
"Yep, that is why you are tired."
"You looked familiar Bel."
"Let's walk."
The old man nods and stands up. You can see the struggle in his eyes to stand up.
"Too peaceful in here." The old man said.
"That is good I guess."
"What?"
"Good that you find peacefulness here."
"I came here before. I dream that something is written on the tombstone. Regrets or how they live their lives."
"Ok, so if you will make you own tombstone, what will it be?"
"Wish I know my past or even just love of my life."
"Maybe you need to look deeper into yourself. Think deeper."
"This is me. No such thing as deeper. Stupider I guess."
"What do you want except to remember your past."
"Met my wife."
"So you remember you had a wife."
"Not really, but I think I have a wife. I don't know if that memory or the feeling is true. I'm more stupid than I look."
"You're funnier than you should look."
"I know, I much stupid than I look."
"Don't say that. You have a wife, then that means someone loves you, someone find you are one of the perfect thing that happen to them."
The old man starts to wonder, why this beautiful woman would talk to him. Why would she look to him like that?
"Do you know me personally?" The old man asked.
A smile was her answer. Of course, they are different kind of smile and this smile means yes.
"How?" The old man asked.
"Fate," Bel said. "But the thing is, it is the opposite, you know me personally."
"You're from my past. How did you find me?"
"You found me."
"You talk nonsense. Or maybe, you do not really find me, you are just looking from a distance right?" The old man said. "Tell me."
"You know me from all your life."
"But how? Explain it to me."
"I'm your wife."
The old man stops. He can't handle the stress anymore. After all, that happen, this beautiful young woman named Bel tells him that she is his wife. How can that be?
The old man has been unconscious for a lot of years. He can't have a very young wife, and why would she leave him in the nursing home.
"You'r
e more like to be my daughter than my wife."
"Yes, and you are still stubborn and hot headed guy that I know."
"So why are you young? Let's say that you are right that you are my wife."
"Because dead people don't age."
The old man doesn't know if he is going to believe because he is seeing a ghost. He asked if Ram and Mushy is just a ghost, doing a prank on him. Even ghost is doing a prank on him.
"What is my name? What is your whole name?" The eyes of the old man are now flooding. The ghost of his wife came back but his memory couldn't.
Bel points something behind the old man. The old man turned and saw the angel.
Chapter 28
"Are you the angel?" The old man asked.
"No," Bel said with a smile.
"Then it means you are the person in there."
The old man turned and goes back to the angel.
The old man reads the name of the woman. Belinda Henderson. The old man thought that this might be made by his imagination just to end his adventure, and answer his question. Or this is really a ghost from her past
"Did your question have been answered?"
"Yes, but I didn't know if it is correct. I got some problems in my head. You're not the first that show up."
"I know Era."
"What did you call me?"
"Era." Bel pointed to the other name on the tombstone.
The old man laughs. This ghost or whatever it is, think that he is Erasmus Henderson. And she called him Era.
"I do not know what are you but I do not like this joke."
"This is not a joke."
"What about Ram and Mushy?"
"Not also a joke. Their name came from Erasmus."
"What do you mean?"
"You are them."
"So I'm really stupid."
"No."
"How come I'm seeing my old self? And wish you are correct."
"The point is you are seeing your old self. Is that what you really want, right?"
"No. I want to remember."
"Make new memories. At least, you see your old self now." Bel said. "At least, you knew who you have been."
"But I want all of my memories. I want to know what happen to me, to us. I don't want just a figment of my imagination. I want it all."
"You are stubborn Era," Bel said. Her smile always welcomes the old man.
And he breaks down and cries. The old man feels the embrace, he look and sees Bel that she is holding him. He can feel everything as real as it can get.
"I don't want to live anymore. I want to see you again."
"You are now seeing me."
"But I want it permanently, not unlike Ram and Mushy."
"They are not gone."
"I need someone."
"The nursing home is there for you, you know."
"But I also need someone like you."
"It is not your time."
"Then why did you show yourself?"
Smile. The smile was her answer to the question that doesn't have any answer.
"You will know everything in right time," Bel said.
"Tell me a story." The old man said.
He only got a smile.
"Of course, you don't know any story. You are just part of my stupid brain." The old man said. "But at least, I saw you. I met you again. I go to a very far adventure. A pointless adventure and I end up finding what I am searching near where I start. I just wish you are real."
"I am real."
***
The police are receiving calls that the old man is traveling in his jeep. Based on what the callers said, he might be going back to the nursing home.
All of the units are alert. They should be because there is an old man driving his jeep and has a serious psychological problem. The old man also commits a major offense like robbery, trespassing, and ordering the wrong set of food for his age.
One of the callers will be the man that sells the jeep. He also declared that it has been stolen. His been doing this a whole time, selling cars without papers, he never thought it will be this big.
So where could be the best place to find the old man? Well for me, it will be somewhere that he will be happy or maybe just in a psychological clinic or and asylum.
Every patrol is now on dispatch. Even TV is alerting people that if they saw the old man, kindly alert authorities. According to the media, the old man has been involved in burglary and car napping. Even an old man can be very dangerous depending on how the media will portrait the old man.
On the other hand, you know what really happen. The old man doesn't do anything wrong, or maybe just a little. He doesn't know that Mushy is opening the room that he doesn't own. And the old man doesn't know that Mushy is only part of his brain.
***
The end is near but still the old man doesn't get back his memory. There are just things that can't have even if you want it very hard.
He is now standing in front of what is supposed to be his wife but it is just some part of his imagination. They go back to the tombstone. He is looking to his name, Erasmus Henderson, such an old name for this generation. He thought that is why he has a lot of nicknames.
Then someone shows up behind the angel, Mushy, and Ram. They are both smiling. Maybe it is better just to see your younger self than to know everything about your past, the bad and wrong thing that you been done.
They are like having a family reunion but they are not, given that 3 of them are the insane person, I mean same person.
"How are you, gramps?" Ram said.
"Am good." The old man said. "Come here."
They hug each other which is a little bit awkward because it is like your hugging yourself or the air. It is hard to guess.
Then the police came. The sound of every siren is on. The old man saw that the whole road along the cemetery gate is field with cars.
"Mister, please raise your hand on your head and lay on the ground. I repeat, please raise your hand on your head and lay on the ground."
The old man follows the instruction. And he lives happily ever after. I mean later guys. Need to think what happens next
Chapter 29
The old man is sitting on a chair in a room that has a mirror on one of its wall. If you do not know what is the use of mirror that is used as a two-way mirror to conceal something on the opposite side.
The old man has been sitting there for 2 hours. Both his hands are cuffs and he is waiting for someone or something.
The police on the other side of the mirror do not believe that a fragile old man could do all that crime. On their view, they see an old man, and in the old man side, he sees the mirror and 2 people standing against the wall. One is a young adult and a very young.
"Hey gramps, know what?" Mushy said. "I can un cuff you."
The old man doesn't talk, he looks in the mirror then someone goes inside of the room. He wears a suit and has an envelope.
He shows a picture to the old man and asks him to tell the story behind every image. The only thing that is true is that he robs an apartment. The old man can't defend himself since there are no other people in the picture. No one can correct what he just does.
The police brought a psychologist to check the real reason on why he does it.
And they found out that he has schizophrenia which makes for him too hard to differentiate the reality from imagination.
He is just imagining his younger self. They thought that they are real. Yes, he robs the apartment but he has some problem. He never took the car because he actually bought it and he never hurt anyone. Well, he drives without any driver’s license.
He became a celebrity because on what he does. The whole world is now waiting for his story. Some non-fiction writer offers him to write his life, but he turns it down. If he wants to tell his story, might as well tell it himself.
The old man wins the case and found him not guilty because of his insanity. There will be two options for him where he can stay. 1) An alyss
um or 2) Nursing Home. According to the judge, if his case is not that worst then he can stay at the nursing home where he can recover fast given that he is not totally insane but just a little bit.
He doesn't get his memory back and they are trying to make him take drugs that make him cloudy. And this makes Mushy and Ram gone. As usual, he doesn't take the drug. He doesn't remember anything but seeing and taking to his past self-help. Sometimes, Bel shows up. But that doesn't normally happen, only a few times. And one day she told a story to the old man.
Epilogue
He goes back to the nursing home. He goes back to his old self. He wakes up, take a bath, eats his breakfast (the same as every day), stay at the recreation area and let Sam talk to him about this girl, eat his lunch and dinner, and go back to his room and sleep.
The end start like the beginning, I mean the start like the ending. It the same I guess with a little bit different this time.
The old man, Mr. Erasmus is much happier, no one assists him now. They call him with his real name and everyone in the nursing home idolized him. Well, when you get to this aged, you don't have any adventures left and Erasmus does it.
He now chooses his breakfast, lunch, and dinner but he still chooses the same food. Era and Sam now has a better discussion (technically Erasmus can speak now) and he now got a story to tell.
The best things that ever happen to him is his ailment, this makes him speak to his old self and from time to time, with his wife. He doesn't get his memory back but who cares. He is now much happier and stable. He always goes to the chapel where he enjoys the silence.
It's never too late to have your adventure. Don't just stay in your filing cabinet or your castle where you feel safe. When you feel that urge to find something, go and find it.
Back Story
Once upon a time, there was this boy who lives a huge house where he never finds out how many doors in their own house have. It is because, at the age of 3, he can only count up to 20 whereas their house has about 60 doors.
When he learns to count more than 20, he then forgot to count the door. He focuses mostly on the insect that will be found in their own forest.
The forest is also big. This was discussed in 3rd grade, land forms, remember it? Well, he tried to count it by step but he doesn't finish it again, for the kind of same reason, he can now count large number, and he also forgets the next number when he saw something inside the forest. He then declares to stop the measuring the size of the forest.
