by Gabriel Just
to Common?”
“Indeed I did,” Tinwin answered.
“So why does it still rhyme?”
“Well, that is an interesting question. I suppose the ancient Tinillians made sure that this inscription rhymed in all the known languages. And Common was of course known back then, as it is one of the oldest languages in the whole of Hilbert Space. A truly remarkable work of art!”
“I see the button,” Vekkit announced proudly. “Should I push it?”
“Under no circumstances!” Professor Tinwin warned him. “That would be far too dangerous. Better let Kobb do it.”
“Yes, Professor Tinwin. Thank you, Professor Tinwin.”
Kobb stepped on the stone slab and carefully pushed the button with his toe. Nothing happened. “I must be-” Kobb tried to say before the slab collapsed and he fell into a dark hole directly underneath it. After a few seconds of silence, a thumping noise informed Tinwin and Vekkit that Kobb successfully reached the bottom of the crypt.
“Are you alright?” Vekkit asked concerned.
“Did your impact destroy any relicts?” the professor hissed in a less caring tone.
“I’m unhurt,” Kobb responded. ”Fortunately something soft cushioned my fall.
It’s dark down here, I can’t see anything. Could you throw me down a flashlight?”
“There you go,” Tinwin said. “But don’t think that only because you are the first to lay eyes on something, you are the one to discover it. I am still the leader of this expedition, everything you find belongs to me.”
A loud scream of terror suggested, that Kobb was not exactly pleased with what he had found.
“What is it?” Professor Tinwin shouted down the hole.
“I landed in some mummified body parts. This is revolting.”
“Could you be any more specific. This is not really a scientific analysis of the situation. What body parts? Heads? Arms? Toenails? Forget it, I’ll have to take a look at this myself.” Tinwin searched for a special bracelet in his backpack, that was exactly designed for such situations. This gadget, commercially known as Featherfall Mark 2, used one of the most neglected forces in the whole field of science. It had the ability to increase the air resistance of any being it was attached to by a large factor. And in Tinwin’s deluxe version, this factor was even steplessly variable. He raised it to 10, before jumping down the hole. The air resistance was happy not to be ignored for once and glad to be of service, and so Tinwin was able to float down into the crypt like a feather. Unlike a feather and more like an anvil, also Vekkit joined them, both backpacks on his back.
While Kobb crawled out of the urn, he had fallen into, and removed some tiny mummy pieces from his shoulder, Tinwin already explored the Crypt with the flashlight he had taken from his assistant.
“This is indeed an Tinillian crypt. Apart from poetry, the Tinillians were masters in preserving their dead and we are still unsure why they did it. Look over there! I’ve never seen a specimen in such a perfect condition.”
The Tinillian mummy Tinwin referred to lied on a platform in the middle of the room. There was even a short inscription on its base, which Tinwin began to translate right away.
“Here rests our last queen, Batuhnet the great;
to save her people it is far too late.
We did, however, preserve her royal highness;
so she can be revived by ending this dryness.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Kobb asked.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Tinwin replied. “They not only preserved their dead, they also preserved their living. This is why this one is in such a mint condition. They found a way to remove the water from the bodies without harming them. Simply adding water might fully restore Queen Batuhnet.”
Adding water was one of the few things Vekkit was very good at, since instant meals were the only thing that kept him alive on Kevar 7. He quickly grabbed four bottles of water, one in each of his hands, and splashed it on the mummy.
“Don’t!” the professor shouted. “Lifeforms that were dead for centuries should only be reanimated under lab conditions.” But it was too late, Queen Batuhnet’s body already began to soak up the water. Only moments later she rose, completely unharmed by the ravages of time.
“Hello?” Tinwin asked after hesitating briefly. “Do you speak Common?”
“Of course I speak common, you ignorant fool;
what did you expect? An illiterate ghul?”
“Rhymes again,” Vekkit noticed, while clapping his hands blissfully. He was a big fan of rhymes, although he rarely understood their meaning. Nevertheless he liked the way they sounded. “Do you always speak that way?”
“How else should I speak? I’m a queen after all;
or at least I was, before our great fall.”
Batuhnet looked very bitter all of a sudden, so Vekkit approached her and patted her on the back. He tried to cheer her up with one of his own poems.
“Don’t be sad;
that everyone’s dead.”
“He is right,” Tinwin agreed. “Sometimes even the best queen loses her whole kingdom to something terrible. It happens to everyone. It’s definitely not your fault. What happened to your people anyways? Why did you settle on such a waterless planet in the first place?”
“The tale of my people is terribly grim;
I never would tell it just out of a whim;
but you three should hear now about my disgrace;
so you don’t make errors that wipe out your race.
This planet we are at, now barren and dry;
was once one blue ocean with equal’ blue sky.
We lived here in peace, as every race should;
‘til someone decided, some land would be good.
Our ships gathered sand, all secret and silent;
and brought it back here, to build us an island.
There was not much room on that small piece of land;
so all but the nobles were instantly banned.
The banned became angry and we felt much guilt;
so we had no choice, a new island was built.
Their island, however, was crowded and small;
to keep them away, we erected a wall.
So we lived quite happy, while their sorrow grew;
that was ‘til they learned how to build islands too.
They brought all the sand, by ship and by hand;
until our planet was covered with land.
The last specks of water did vanish quite fast;
but everyone had their own island at last.
Without any water or ocean or tide;
every last one of my poor subjects died.
Before that, however, they had found a way;
to rescue my life, so hear what I say.
This is the wisdom we learned far too late;
keep it in mind or you will share our fate.
If there is much wealth, but it is not shared just;
the mightiest kingdom will turn into dust.”
“I’m so sorry,” Kobb whispered.
“That is so sad,” Vekkit cried while teardrops ran down his cheeks.
“That is remarkable,” said Tinwin. “You are surely the best preserved relic ever. I’ll be famous. Would you mind coming with us? You belong in a museum!”
“I will not leave this dry and hot throne;
this is my fate, that’s how I atone.
You three however, you are free to go;
spread the word of what happened, centuries ago.”
“If this is your wish, then so be it,” Tinwin said slightly disappointed. “But since you will never leave this place anyway, do you mind if I take one of your limbs? An arm maybe? Or what about a toe? You won’t miss it, and it would look stunning in a showcase.”
“You’ll leave this crypt. This is your path;
go right now, or feel my wrath.”
Queen Bathunet stomped angrily and the walls of the crypt began to crumble. Sand trickled in and Tinwin ins
tantly decided that sharing the fate of the Tinillians was a price he would not pay, just for a very old toe.
“We will never get out of here alive,” Kobb shouted in panic. “The entrance is too high, I can’t jump that far.”
“But I can!” Vekkit boasted and grabbed the two Piki. He then took a short run-up and tried to jump up to the hole Kobb had caused earlier. Vekkit had strong legs, but they were not strong enough. He missed the hole by a tiny amount. He tried two more times, but had to realize that he was getting more and more tired.
“Damn you, air resistance!” Tinwin shouted. “I trusted you! Let’s see how you like that.” He took off his Featherfall Mark 2 bracelet, turned it all the way down to the factor zero and gave it to Vekkit, who had to wear it more like a ring.
“Try again! You should be able to jump without any air resistance now. I am sure you can make it,” Tinwin encouraged the big Hironian.
Vekkit tried one more time and without air resistance it was indeed much easier. All three escaped the crypt, only moments before it completely collapsed, burying Queen Bathunet forever. They turned back, but all that was left of the crypt was a big dune, that looked exactly like Dinky and all the other dunes.
“Somehow I feel bad for the Tinillians,” said Kobb. “They really had a terrible fate.”
“Don’t you worry,” Tinwin said with a smile on his face. “On the one hand it is a tragedy what happened to them. On the other hand, the scientific hand, it is a beautiful opportunity to learn something. The Tinillians will live forever in our memories and museums. And I haven’t even told you the best bit.” The professor pulled out a small object wrapped in linen and threw it to his assistant.
“What’s that?” he asked after examining it for a bit.
“This, dear Kobb, is the most valuable Tinillian relic in the history of archeology. You see, as Queen
