by James Wolfe
“You’re really convinced I’m your mate, huh?” I asked him.
“I really am,” he assured me.
My eyes shifted for a second while I contemplated asking my next question. “But how do you know?”
“I have been many places, Taylor. I’ve met many men. Everywhere I go, it’s the same. People cater to me as an alpha leader. After a while, everyone starts to seem the same. It’s like nobody even has a personality. Then I meet you and, even though you show some dislike for me at first, you’re the first person who doesn’t speak to me the way everyone else does. You’re the first person with a personality. And not just any personality, but a personality I begin to like more and more the more I speak to you. You are an omega, yes, but you are not completely passive. Maybe I am just unattracted to the typical omega.”
My eyes bulged a bit. “That’s so weird you say that… because I don’t think I’m really attracted to the typical alpha.”
“Really? How do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean… most alphas have attitudes that really bother me. They come off as cocky, arrogant, and selfish, and I can’t have someone like that for a partner. I want an alpha who still knows how to be kind and sacrifice for their mate. I want a protector who leads gently.”
“I’d be willing to sacrifice for you, Taylor,” he told me.
“I know,” I said. “You already have. And, I’m not going to lie… I think I’m attracted to that. But at the same time, this is the first I’ve seen that from you. Before now, you haven’t exactly seemed like a man who leads gently…”
He shrugged. “I suppose not. Not as gently as Jameson does, at least.”
“Well, I like that about Jameson,” I explained. “The somewhat lax attitudes here are something I really love about my tribe. It’s going to be phenomenally hard to leave it and go to a place so much more strict.”
He thought on this for a moment. “Well, you have been the hand to your alpha leader for a long time, right?”
“Yes…” I said, unsure of where he was going with this.
“So you understand the inner workings of your alpha leader? As in, the way he runs the tribe and his methodology.”
“I like to think so, yes.”
“Then maybe you can help me.”
I still wasn’t following. “Help you with what?”
“Help me with changing my leadership style. So I too can be a softer leader. I can be more like your alpha leader.”
Again, he had shocked me. “Why would you want to do that?”
“Because that is what is going to make you comfortable. You like your tribe, you like how things are run, it is clear you would stay if you could. But you will never be able to stay and mate with me. If I wasn’t an alpha leader, I would stay with you. But I have my tribe to run. If you are being forced to join my tribe, the least I can do is make it more comfortable for you.”
“Wait, so you’d seriously change your entire leadership style just so that I’d feel more comfortable?”
“Of course!” he said quickly. “It really seems you do not understand.”
I fiddled with the bottom of my shirt. “Understand what?”
“Understand just how much this means to me, how much my mate would mean to me. I have dreamed of finding my mate since I was a young boy. I imagined protecting my mate, my children, being the person that they need and love. I’d do anything for my family to be happy, anything. Once you are officially mine, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
My heart was pounding, but not in a bad way. It was like he had just lit my heart on fire. He’d do anything for me? He was nothing like I’d assumed before.
I suspected he was actually right… That we were meant to be mates. He seemed so arrogant before but the way he talked now, he was exactly the kind of alpha I’d always wanted.
He grabbed my hand after I was silent for a moment. “Have I upset you?”
“No, no, not at all. I was just thinking…”
“Think about what?” he asked, still holding my hand, which, again, ignited feelings within me.
“About everything you’re saying. Thinking about how the more I speak to you, the more you sound like kind of man I’d want to be with. I don’t know, maybe you’re right. Maybe there is something here.”
He didn’t answer with words. Instead, he leaned forward and once again kissed me. This time was softer, gentler, like he was afraid if he pushed too hard I might run away.
And normally, I’d think I might. I did believe I’d been scared of commitment and that was why it was nearly impossible for me to imagine a life with him. I‘d been resistant to the idea of him because of the fear I had of becoming someone’s mate.
But I wasn’t scared now.
I kissed him back, a little harder. Slowly but surely, our lips intertwined until our tongues began to move into each other’s mouths.
At first, the kiss made me feel soft and warm but the harder it got, the more I felt something else. Some primal desire that was building inside me. I wanted him. I’d never had a man sexually, but I still knew when I wanted it.
It wasn’t my job to take him, though, no matter how badly I wanted it. Alphas always led in these situations, they made the move, they took their lovers. I had to wait and see if the same desire that was heating up inside me was also heating up inside him.
It didn’t take long for him to show me that it was. As we were kissing, he grabbed at the hem of my shirt and started pulling it up over me. Our lips parted briefly as he pulled the shirt up and then reconnected again as he started to pull off my pants.
I made no effort to stop him, I didn’t want him to stop. Never had I felt so much desire. It was animalistic. I’d never even had sex before but I knew I wanted him inside me. I wanted to know how this man felt… I wanted our bodies connected in the way that only sex provided.
When I was down to only my boxers, he began to rip his close off too. I couldn’t help but stare at his rippling abs as he did, like most alpha’s he was incredibly fit. I could feel a tingle in my cock just staring at the “v” shape that started at his lower abdomen and led down to his cock.
But that was nothing compared to once I actually got to see his cock. He lowered his pants and my jaw dropped at the massive size. I didn’t have many cocks to compare it to, but it was bigger than mine, and as I tried to imagine it buried in my ass i wasn't even sure I could take it.
I was damn well going to try though.
He was rock hard and so was I. He reached down to feel my cock and I reached for his. It felt so meaty in my hand as I ran my hand up and down his shaft.
“I want it inside me.” I told him bluntly. “I want you to take me.”
He nodded in his usual stoic way and then grabbed me by my hips and effortlessly flipped me over. He ran his hands over my ass once I was on my stomach, pulling apart my cheeks while he contemplated his entrance.
Then, without warning, I felt his prick pressed up against my hole. I braced myself as he slowly began to inch into me, I could feel myself opening up for him. It stung a bit but I didn’t care because the pleasure it bestowed on me was so much better than the pain.
After he was a few inches in he thrust into me all at once. I could feel it deep inside me, deeper than I even imagined a cock would go. The pleasure was overhwhelming, it was like I couldn't even think, could barely breathe as I groaned.
He humped slowly at first but that didn’t last long as he began to get faster and faster until he was absolutely drilling me. He reached up and put his hands on my wrists, holding me down as he plowed into me.
I could feel my cock began to tingle and knew I would soon cum. I couldn’t take much more of this. This was my first time and the overwhelming pleasure in my ass was being carried over to my prick.
“You’re going to make me cum, baby.” I moaned.
“Good, fucking cum then.” He said in a demanding voice that only turned me on more.
And just when I thought
he couldn’t go any faster, he began to. Now I was definitely going to go over the edge.
I screamed out in ecstasy as I felt my jizz shoot out of my cock. I could feel the warm, sticky liquid hit my stomach and my body began to tremble all over with the intensity of the pleasure.
And it was only seconds later that I heard him began to groan too and I knew he was approaching his own orgasm. He grunted as he bottomed out into me and I felt his warm jizz coat my insides. I’m not sure which felt better, my own orgasm or knowing that fucking me has given him the same amount of intense pleasure.
He rolled off of me onto the couch, his skin glistening with sweat. It only served to make him look even sexier.
I looked over at him, panting next to me. As good as the sex felt, I found a new feeling come over that me that felt even better.
It was genuine affection for him. I looked at him and it was like my heart opened up a little bit. I always knew he was handsome but I felt like I was seeing him for the first time right now and he was positively gorgeous. Possibly the most amazing man I’d ever seen.
What was this new rush of emotions? Was it because we had just had sex? Was it just me adjusting to the intensity of that?
No, I think this ran deeper than that. I really liked him. Despite all my previous inclinations, there were genuine feelings here that I wanted to explore. There was something between us. And I wanted to learn more about it.
I wanted to learn more about him.
“What?” He asked as he noticed me staring. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not at all.” I told him with a smile. “Everything is absolutely perfect, actually.”
And, in this moment, it really was.
9
When I awoke the next morning, I decided to sneak off before Cole woke up.
Last night was great. No, better than great, it was amazing. But I knew that waking up this morning, he was going to want to talk about things. I was going to have to decide whether I was going to be his mate.
And I was pretty sure I had decided. It was going to require a leap of faith, the kind of leap I wasn’t used to, but all signs pointed to Cole being right. I believed we were compatible… At the very least, we were compatible sexually.
It really was more than that, though. He might not have been exactly the man I’d always imagined for myself, but he was willing to try to be. He was ready to do whatever it took to make me happy and, really, I couldn’t ask for anything more than that. At the end of the day, what a relationship needed was dedication, and he was willing to give it.
But I wanted to talk to Jameson first before I made that decision. I know, that seemed weird. I should have been conferring with my soon-to-be mate before I talked to anyone else, but I still barely knew Cole, even if he was my future. I knew Jameson and I knew this wasn’t going to make him happy so I wanted the news to come from me.
When I got to Jameson’s house, though, my world flipped over once again.
I walked into Jameson’s house—the door was cracked open—to find him crying on his couch.
This was a completely unique situation for me. Never had I ever seen Jameson cry.
“What’s wrong?” I asked immediately.
He looked up at me, surprised. “Taylor, I’m sorry, I—”
“No need to apologize!” I said quickly. “Really, don’t, just… are you okay?”
He nodded, wiping his eyes. “Fine.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Fine?” I pressed.
He looked at me sadly. “Jeffrey is gone, he left me.”
I was stunned. This was a thing that very, very rarely happened in our species. In fact, I didn’t even know any couple who had separated.
“What? But why?” I asked, shocked.
“For a… fair reason.” He sighed. “I do not want children, and he does.”
That was also a thing that rarely ever happened in our species. Everyone seemed to want children. I had no idea that Jameson didn’t. I mean, I knew that he and Jeffrey had been together a long time and hadn’t had kids but I thought they were just waiting or something.
“You…don’t?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I am responsible for the entire tribe. I can’t be responsible for children, too. And Jeffrey was kind enough to forego those desires for me but… But I suppose that can’t ever truly last. Ultimately, he couldn’t continue to do it. And I should have never asked him to.”
My heart was breaking for both of them. “I am so, so sorry,” I told him. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. Is there…anything I can do?”
What a stupid question. Of course there was nothing I could do. He no longer had his mate. Nothing was going to change that.
He shook his head. “No, but I just… don’t really want to see anyone today. Maybe if you can handle all of my regular business today?”
“Of course!” I said quickly. “Anything. I’ll make sure you have privacy.”
“Thank you,” he responded. “You truly are an amazing hand to the alpha.”
That was a punch to the gut. From the shock of seeing him, I had basically forgotten what I came to tell him.
Which was that I was leaving.
Oh man, and I thought he was upset about that before. What was he going to do now that he was completely alone?
Even better question, what was I going to do now that he was completely alone?
I certainly couldn’t say anything about this now. I had no interest in burdening him further. I just smiled and nodded. “I’ll take care of everything, don’t worry.”
I left quickly after that to give him privacy.
I felt completely selfish because his life was falling apart and I was somehow worried about myself… But it truly was worrying.
What was I going to do now? I couldn’t just leave. Without me, Jameson was basically completely alone. The tribe respected him, of course, but he didn’t have any friends. I was the closest thing he had. He loved his mate, he was dedicated to him, that was who he spent all his time with. So to be without Jeffrey now I was sure was completely devastating for him.
I couldn’t do it, not now. Not until he got back up on his feet…
But how long would that be. Not weeks, that was for sure, I didn’t even think months. Years, maybe?
I couldn’t ask Cole to wait years either, not when we were just barely starting this. He wanted a mate, he wanted a family, and I didn’t believe he wanted to wait years to get it.
And I didn’t either. Truly, I didn’t. But I was stuck between a rock and a hard place… Go be with Cole and chase after my own happiness or be here for Jameson and forego that happiness…
It felt like an impossible decision.
It wasn’t, though. In fact, it was an easy decision, based on the kind of person that I was…
Because my happiness never, ever came first.
Not at the cost of my tribe.
10
I was about to break Cole’s heart.
He’d been asking to see me and I kept putting it off, using Jameson as an excuse, claiming I had a lot to do for him. Which I did. But I could’ve made time to talk if I really wanted to… I simply didn’t want to.
That had to change now, though. I couldn’t sit by and let him think that things were good between us when they weren’t. He deserved to know the truth.
And the truth is I couldn’t be with him, not now. Not when things were so difficult for Jameson. Jeffrey was staying at his brother’s house and he wasn’t even speaking to Jameson. Not out of hatred, only because it was hard for Jeffrey to talk to him. He missed him terribly, naturally, just as Jameson missed him. It opened up the wound for them to communicate.
It was all terribly sad. They had been such a great couple and now they were both miserable. But nothing could be done about it, nothing could be done to make either change their minds. You either wanted kids, or you didn’t.
And I did. Which was making this whole thing harder. Every time I thought of Je
ffrey, I thought of my own desires and how I desperately wanted to try for a family with Cole.
But it couldn’t come before my duty to my tribe, nothing could. That shouldn’t surprise Cole. I was willing to mate with him even when I didn’t want to just for the benefit of my tribe, so of course I’d not mate with a man I did want to be with for my tribe as well.
Even if he understood it, though, it didn’t mean he was going to like it. I didn’t expect him to. I didn’t like it myself. But I was out of options. Jameson needed me. I wasn’t even sure he could keep the tribe functioning at this point without my help.
I took in the fall breeze and the grey clouds overhead as I made my way to the guest house where Cole was staying. I tried to think of what I was going to say, how exactly I was going to break this news to him… But I was coming up blank.
I was just going to have to wing it. There was no good way to say this, anyway. Nothing I said was going to make him feel better about the fact that I would not be with him. In his mind, his future and his happiness lay with me. And I was about to take that away from him.
I knocked on the door and when he answered, he was smiling from ear to ear. In a way that I’d never seen him smile before.
God, this was going to be hard.
“You finally have a moment to speak with me,” he said eagerly.
“I do…” I said, a lot less eagerly. And he noticed the sadness in my voice immediately.
He frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just… Can I come in?” I asked.
“Of course.” He nodded as he motioned for me to come in. I went to sit down on the couch… The couch where we’d made love. The couch where I’d spent what was probably the best night of my life.
How the hell was I going to do this?
“What’s wrong?” he repeated as he sat down next to me.
“It’s just, uh, I don’t know where to begin… I’ve just got a lot going on with Jameson right now, with his mate leaving him…”
“Yes, that is terrible.” And by the tone of his voice, I could tell he meant it. “I cannot imagine losing my mate after years of having them. It is unfathomable to me.”
