by Jen Christie
We returned home to Devlin Manor laughing, with wind-blown salty hair, wrinkled clothes and a glow of satisfaction on our faces. There was no hesitation between our interactions, the sea had wiped away our differences in station and made us equals, if only for an afternoon. When we arrived back at the manor and stood before the stone steps that led to the mahogany doors, I realized that the protective qualities of the ocean had gone, and everything had reverted to the way it was before.
Lucas walked up the steps and when he noticed that I wasn’t behind him he turned. “Come on,” he said simply, as if these complications could be wiped away with his words. “What’s the matter?”
All of a sudden I felt the need to speak plainly. “Your door is at the front.” I nodded toward the path at the side of the house. “Mine is at the back.”
“Nonsense,” he said. “Come with me.”
“No, Lucas.” The manor loomed behind him, massive and unyielding. It would be here forever, always with a St. Claire in it. And if I made a misstep I would be gone, blown away like a discarded piece of paper. I realized that hundreds of years of tradition, of island living would not change things. “I’m sorry.”
My words angered him. His body was tense. “Suit yourself. I’ll see you later.” The last was a statement, not a question.
“I don’t know,” I said. Already, though, my body betrayed me with sensations.
“I know,” he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his key ring. He slid a key from it and I recognized the simple miniature shape of the key. He went down two steps and held it out. “Are you looking for this?”
I don’t know how he got the key, but I was powerless to stop my feet from moving to retrieve it. I went and took it from his hand and he gave me a sly look of victory. When the key touched my skin, I felt almost whole again.
He turned and walked up to the doors, yanking them open and striding inside. The house seemed not to swallow him, but to make room for him to enter.
I, however, crept along the side, running my hand along the rough, impenetrable stone. That was how I entered the servants’ door, skulking and guilty.
The door shut behind me with an accusatory clunk that echoed out into the hall. I could hear the sound of utensils and the chatter of the servants. I tried to sneak to my room, but I was thwarted by the ever-aware Mrs. Amber.
She called out to me from the kitchen. “Reyna, come here please.”
The chatter, which only a moment before had filled the air, ceased. I slinked into the kitchen, aware of the blanket of sand that still coated my skin, of my loose hair, of my still-damp beachwear that was rumpled and twisted. I was especially aware of the guilt in my eyes.
The kitchen was a tomb. Servants stared at me with blank eyes, forks half-raised.
“So glad you could join us,” she said.
“I…I’m sorry that I’m late.”
“Don’t be sorry, you were on official duties.” Her words hit louder than plates crashing on the floor.
How strange that at that moment, when her words bit at me, I should think of the glass house. If I were inside of it, I would know exactly what to say to her, how to respond. But I wasn’t there. I wasn’t queen of my domain. I was simply Reyna, servant, orphan, fool.
There was something in her eyes that went beyond reproach. She was furious, but something more…perhaps even sad or disappointed?
She seemed to relent. “I made you a plate,” she said, nodding to the counter, where I saw the meal waiting for me. “Perhaps you should eat it in your room since you are in no shape to join us.”
I went and picked up the plate and left the kitchen. Silence followed me all the way to my room, and it was only when I shut the door behind me that I heard the return of excited voices that chattered loudly.
The food on the plate was already cold and I pecked at it halfheartedly before I set it aside for Maxie. I lay on the small bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering at the fact that I felt more shame for going sailing with Lucas than I did for knowing him intimately.
There was a soft rapping at my door and Mrs. Amber opened it without waiting for a response. She swooped inside, and her manner, her black dress swirling around her, reminded me of a judge. “Are you a fool, girl? That you wouldn’t listen to me?” She stepped forward and lifted the hem of my sarong and shook her head. “I tell each and every one them. Every single girl that comes and sleeps right where you are lying. I warn them all, but they all overstep. None, though, would do so in broad daylight. I thought you might be different.”
“I am different,” I insisted.
She sighed. “No. You’re not. The world operates with set rules.”
“I know that. I do.”
“Then why would you do such a thing?”
“I didn’t know how to say no…I wanted to say yes…”
“That’s not acceptable. It’s not okay, and you can’t just slip between our world and his. It’s one side or the other, and you were born on the wrong side.”
“I know. I know.”
“And now what? You just return to work, with Mr. St. Claire as your boss?”
No. I go back to the house of glass. “Whatever I have to do I will do.”
“Where are those girls? Eh? All gone now. Just like you.”
“I won’t be gone.”
“What? You have a trick up your sleeve?”
“No.”
“You’ll be back at work in the morning. Nothing will change for you. Except that I will have my eye on you. One misstep and you are gone.”
“I won’t misstep. I won’t.”
Her dress swirled accusingly as she stepped from the room and locked the door loudly behind her.
Chapter Eight
I craved the house. I needed it, needed its crystal embrace, and its smooth, hard certainness to guide me. The key was already in my hand, safe and warm, and all I needed to do was wait. I waited until I heard Maxie outside. I slid from the window, giving her my cold dinner before I went to the cottage. I did not look back at the fortress, though I could almost feel his eyes on me.
I felt the familiar warmth of the house curl around me. The air was still and strangely quiet and I walked boldly over the glass floor, no longer afraid of the rocks beneath me. Outside the window the moon was just a sliver of brightness, and the lights from the other side of the island twinkled against the darkness.
I heard Lucas at the door when he stepped inside, full of such confidence and surety, yet my coming to meet him was reduced to stealing away. I wished that there was a simple solution to my predicament, but I could see none.
Our lovemaking was brief and intense, and I left him inside the glass house when he shook me awake, just before dawn.
When I climbed back into my window there was a figure sitting on my bed. Mrs. Amber. I hesitated, frozen in the sill, and then realized that there was no choice but to continue, and I did so with the most dignity I could manage.
“Reyna.” Her voice was full of an emotion that I would never ascribe to her. It was full of sorrow. “Why wouldn’t you listen to me?”
“Mrs. Amber, it’s so complicated.”
“It’s really not, Reyna. Sad to say. Tell me, do you think you love him?”
“I…I do.”
“Christ alive.” She rubbed her temples with her fingers. “What have you done? Are you in a bad way?”
“No, not at all.”
“You know I’m only trying to protect you from…” She came toward me and I backed away.
“From what?” I asked. A strange sensation, an uneasy feeling passed over me.
“From making a mistake…” She reached her hand out to mine, and seemed to want to hold my hand, but instead the key tumbled out.
She gasped, a sharp noise that sliced the air between us. “No. You didn’t…this whole time you’ve had it?” Backing away from me, she put her hand over her mouth. “Why would you deceive me? Trick me? Pack your bag and leave,” she said. She held up h
er arm and pointed to the door before continuing on. “I can understand the misplaced, stupid passions of a young girl. Trust me, I can understand that. But, for you to sneak around like this, to connive and steal my key.”
“No. I am not a thief. That’s wrong. I can explain.” But could I? “Y-you can’t fire me,” I stammered. “You can’t.”
“I can and I did.”
“What about Lucas? He and I…”
“Of all the girls I’ve fired, he’s never complained once. See if you’ll be the one.”
“Please,” I begged her. I tried to angle past her, into the main house. I had to find him. She blocked me.
“Go.” Her voice was cold, so different from the sorrow she had just shown me.
I was angry and struck out at her. “You have no heart. I have feared and hated you since I was a child, and now is no different.”
Her lips pinched together and her voice came out in in a rush of anger. “I learned two things when I was your age. The first is that they never, ever come for you, and the second is that it’s best to avoid pain instead of recover from it, and I hope, one day, you’ll thank me for it.”
Bitterness raged inside me. “Never. I’ll never thank you for it.”
She turned away from me and scooped up the key “You have five minutes to dress and pack. Go.”
* * *
Tears blurred the world before me as I threw my belongings into my father’s old suitcase. It felt lighter than I remembered, because my heart and soul were no longer in it. I fled through the servants’ door and out onto the lawn. The steps, the doors loomed above me and I couldn’t bring myself to walk up them, to pound on them and yell for Lucas. If only I had the glass house around me. It would be easy.
I stood there, a lone figure, like a ghost that wouldn’t leave. A shutter opened just an inch, and I saw Mrs. Amber peeking out at me. She closed the shutter. I turned and walked away. The gates that seemed so ominous when I arrived put up no resistance, and I walked away from Devlin Manor and into the darkness below.
Even though the road led downhill, my pace was slow, each step hesitant. When I reached the dock, I learned that I had missed the late morning ferry back to my side of the island and that it would not arrive until evening. It didn’t matter, because I had nowhere to go. I walked, and without thinking I found myself in front of my father’s old fish stall. Roberto, the man who had bought the stall, stood behind the stand.
His milky-white eyes were kind, and he nodded a greeting at me. “Reyna,” he said kindly, and invited me to sit with him I put my suitcase down and tried to make small talk, but it was useless.
I said goodbye to Roberto and went tosit at my old favorite spot, right at the edge of the dock. I peered over wooden boards and the woman that looked back at me was dressed in somber colors and scuffed boots, and her eyes had the weight of the world upon them.
For a long time I sat there, until I heard a sniffling, chortling noise at my side, and turned to see Maxie, wagging her tail wildly, sitting right on top of my mended nets. Seeing Maxie snapped me out of my trance and I noticed that the sun had moved across the sky. I had been sitting and staring for a long time.
“Maxie!” I cried, and threw my arms around her. The first joy I had felt all day coursed through me. I breathed in the scent of Maxie, and put my face against her. I was delighted. She tried to wriggle into my lap, and almost pulled both of us into the water. We swung a little outward, and I saw a man in the reflection.
Lucas. I turned.
“I looked for you and you were gone,” he said. He sat down beside me. Maxie wiggled between us. “I spoke to Mrs. Amber, she accused you of—”
“I know,” I said quickly, fervently.
“Well,” he replied. He turned to me. “We both know the reason behind that. I don’t ever want to look and not be able to find you.” He threw the words at me like stones, like arrows intended to hurt me. But I saw that he was angry from deep emotion, and that made my heart leap.
It seemed that Maxie could sense my excitement, and she started wiggling again. I hadn’t noticed it before, but something dangled from her neck. A leather collar was wrapped around her neck, and dangling at the center of her chest, right above the white star of fur, was a ring, a yellow diamond fatter than my thumb.
“Lucas,” I whispered. I pulled at the collar and it unwound from Maxie’s neck. The ring slid along the rope and dropped into my open palm.
Lucas took my hand. “Reyna…” he said. He took a deep breath. “Will you marry me?”
Just like all those years ago, Lucas came to the docks and changed my life. “Yes!” I cried out, so loudly that those who were left on the pier turned and looked at us. Lucas drew me to standing, drew me into his arms and kissed me. Maxie clamored around us. I was happy at last.
The evening ferry arrived. It motored into the harbor slowly and bumped against the far dock. There were only a few passengers that late in the day, and they shuffled quickly from the boat, spilling onto the docks. The conductor called out the last call for boarding, his lonely voice echoing over the water. A handful of islanders boarded, and I realized with a shudder that I could have been one of them.
Lucas squeezed my hand suddenly. “I don’t want to wait,” he said. “Let’s go right now to the magistrate’s office and have them marry us.”
“Can they do that?” I asked. “Besides, they’re closed, the sun has set. Business hours are over,” I protested, but the blood in my veins raced along in excitement.
“You’re forgetting. I’m a St. Claire. Come, it’s not far.”
He led me to the offices, just outside the dock area. He pounded on the door and when there was no answer, he strode to a small house that was beside the building. A small wooden sign hung above the door that read Harbormaster.
The man who opened the door had clearly retired for the evening. His shirt was unbuttoned at the collar, and his suspenders hung loosely around his hips. “What is it man?” he shouted, but when he saw who it was standing in the darkness, his tone changed. “Sorry, sir.” He nodded. “St. Claire.”
“I need you to open the magistrate’s office. Now. I need a wedding performed.”
“Now? The man’s gone home.” The harbormaster protested.
“You’ll do. You’re a captain. An official. Hell, I’m an official. Grab a lamp, and unlock that door.”
The man did as he was told, scurrying around and gathering the keys and a lamp. He shot quick, curious glances at me, at the dog and finally at Lucas. He unlocked the door to the magistrate’s office and by the light of an oil lamp he dug around for the stamps and paperwork.
When he finally found them, he scribbled our names on the paper and we signed it before he pressed the stamp upon the paper. By the flickering light of the lamp, in a dark office with shadows of the furniture looming all around us and with a white dog at my feet, Lucas and I exchanged vows.
It was the best ceremony that I ever could have wished for, because I was marrying Lucas St. Claire. Those moments were bliss, pure bliss. Even if I’d had the foresight to know the troubles ahead, I would still have married him, because that ceremony was so meaningful and unexpected.
When we arrived at home, the mahogany doors were there waiting for me, and it felt no easier to walk through them. I needn’t have worried, though, because Lucas lifted me high into the air and carried me straight through them. The house was quiet and it was just he and I and we walked quietly down the hall and on to to the next part of our lives.
Chapter Nine
There were footsteps outside the door and soft rapping. I jumped from bed, thinking that I was late for Mrs. Amber, and then I realized where I was and what had happened. Lucas lay beside me in his huge bed, swimming in a tangle of white sheets.
The door opened gently, and Mrs. Amber entered. “Mr. St. Claire,” she said, “are you awake? I have your coffee.” She carried a tray in her hands.
Lucas rolled over and said in a husky voice, “Fine, set
it here on the bed.”
Mrs. Amber took a step, and her gaze travelled along the length of the bed, sliding up my body and until resting on my face. “Reyna,” she said in a hiss.
Lucas ran his fingers through his hair. “Mrs. Amber.” There was a note of warning in his voice. “Reyna is Mrs. St. Claire now.”
She took a step back, looked from him to me, and then said, “Sir?”
“We married yesterday.”
She looked at me again, and there was a strange look in her eyes. If I hadn’t known better I would have said it was a look of happiness. She cleared her throat, and set the tray on the bed. “Well, congratulations. To both of you.”
“Perhaps you can help Reyna and I plan a small gathering. Very small. A simple dinner. The staff will be invited, but we will need to work out how to serve it. A few of my business partners. Perhaps in two nights?”
“Of course. We won’t have much in way of supplies, what with only a day of preparation, but I’m sure we can arrange something.”
I was skeptical that a party could be arranged so quickly, but Lucas assured me that it was as simple as a quick word or two. He was right, of course, and the next day all of the arrangements had been made and all I had to do was wait.
On the morning of our wedding celebration, my world fell away from me without so much as a warning. Lucas had gone to visit a business partner and would not be back until later in the afternoon, just before the party. That was when disaster happened.
Mrs. Amber came into the room and announced “Mrs. St. Claire.”
I still had not accustomed myself to being referred to in that manner and my response was slow. “Yes?” I said.
“There’s a Mr. Brent at the door, asking for you. He originally asked for Mr. St. Claire, but I told him Mr. St. Claire was away until this afternoon and then he asked for you.”
“I don’t know any Mr. Brent.”
