by Gray, Millie
‘I’m uneasy too but it is just … Oh, Jack, I have run the house here since Mum died and … well, do you think Connie will be happy to let me carry on?’
‘No. And I feel the two of us won’t feel at home when Connie does take over.’
Kitty nodded.
‘Look, Jack, it’s not that I don’t like her as a person it is just that she’s …’
‘Not Mum and in my book never will be.’
‘Do you think it will be a … ?’
‘No. And thankfully if it ever goes that way she is too old to present us with another Rosebud. So I think that you and me … and we have six weeks … have to think about how best we survive.’ He paused. ‘I think we may have to leave home.’
‘Leave home! But where would we go?’
‘I’ve finished my apprenticeship.’
‘So what has you being a fully qualified engineer got to do with leaving home?’
‘Well I’m now capable of being a fifth engineer on merchant ships. So I’ve applied to the shipping companies for a job …’
‘No. No. Not on the Atlantic or Russian convoys, Jack, they are so … dangerous!’
‘No. To keep you from worrying I have said on my application that I would prefer to sail in the Mediterranean.’
Kitty, who had been standing, now flopped down on to the couch. Placing her hand over her mouth she began to heave and sigh. ‘Jack,’ she whimpered, ‘it is bad enough me being out of my mind with worry for Bobby, who is dicing with death in the Atlantic, without you going to the Med. They get torpedoed there too, you know, and they’re sitting ducks for the Luftwaffe.’
‘Aye, but Malta and North Africa can give us air cover.’
‘And if you go and I am left … how will I cope?’
‘That’s what I am trying to get through to you. You just have to leave home and get a job where you get board and lodgings.’
‘You mean in the Navy?’
‘Well not necessarily the Navy; you could also try the Army or Air Force – anywhere that you will get digs thrown in.’
If Jack thought that his solution was going to quieten Kitty’s apprehension, it only added to it. Especially as she realised that he would be away in the Navy before the wedding. She, however, would have to stay until after Connie became Mrs Johnny Anderson. Also, and just as importantly, her promise to her mother about Rosebud had to be honoured until, at least, there was another ‘mother’ in place. That was the one thing that Kitty was sure of. Yes, knowing Connie, she knew that when she did marry her dad she would willingly take on his responsibilities in the form of Rosebud and Davy.
The euphoria Kate felt at the upcoming prospect of becoming Mrs Busek was tempered by the knowledge that Hans was a porter in the store where she was looked upon as senior management.
Two weeks later, when dawdling to work on a bright Monday morning, Kate drew up abruptly. There, displayed in the jeweller’s shop, just at the side of the Palace Picture House, was an advert which read: ‘Due to family bereavement we require an experienced watchmaker to run this shop. All enquiries welcomed. Good wages and conditions.’
‘That’s just what my Hans needs,’ she cried. ‘A job where he can use his skills.’ Looking at the opening hours, which were the same as the department store she worked in, she silently mouthed, Blast. No way could she hang on until the shop opened because if she did then that would mean she would be late for her own job.
As she scurried along Great Junction Street it was as if she had wings on her feet. Once she got herself inside the department store she didn’t even wait to take her coat off before going in search of Hans.
She easily found him, cleaning out the gents’ lavatory. This humiliating sight added to her determination that he must be found a job where he could use his talents.
‘Hans,’ she said, grabbing him by the arm, ‘I must talk to you, and now at that.’
‘You have changed your mind about …’
‘No. And don’t be silly. I love you and that’s why I want what is best for us. And the two of us working together in here isn’t that. Now do you know the small jeweller’s shop on the end of Duke Street?’
‘Yes. I looked in their window last week as I wished to go in to purchase a nice ring for you but it was all locked up.’
‘Precisely. Now listen.’
Ten minutes later Kate was pushing Hans out of the back door and pointing him in the direction of Duke Street. She smiled as she thought how smart his retreating figure looked dressed in the borrowed lounge suit, naturally taken out on the approval system, from Men’s Outfitting.
By the afternoon Kate was making out a receipt for Hans for the smart single-breasted navy-blue suit complete with waistcoat. Now it was not as had happened frequently in the past, when customers took clothes out on ‘appro’ and had then worn the garments to a function and the clothing had become damaged so they had no other option but to pay for them. No. Hans Busek was now the newly appointed manager of the watchmaker and jeweller’s shop in Duke Street. This meant he required to be appropriately dressed and therefore the suit was a necessary purchase.
Within three weeks Jack was sailing in the moderately warm waters of the Mediterranean and he acknowledged that his grandmother had been correct when she had advised him to always look hard into every situation and find the silver lining. He now knew that the silver lining for him, when his dad had announced he was to remarry, was that he was forced to go out into the big bad world and make it on his own. Up till then he had liked the comfort and security of being part of the family – being provided with a safe, accommodating shelter had been so important to him. This being true, he also admitted that since his mum’s premature demise he had felt responsible for Kitty and Davy, and to a lesser degree Rosebud. Now he accepted that they, like him, would eventually have to cut the ties from the household home and make a life and family for themselves. After all, hadn’t Bobby shown, by example, that that was what they should be doing?
* * *
The wedding day for both Johnny and Kate was Saturday, 26 February and even although it was at the end of February, it still had, for Kate and Connie anyway, some of the romance of St Valentine’s Day two weeks before.
Two telegrams were delivered on the morning of the wedding. Kitty took possession of them. When she opened the first she was surprised and pleased that Bobby had sent his congratulations to his father and Connie. He also wished them a long and happy marriage. She was just about to open the second, which she was sure was congratulations from Jack to their father, when Rosebud screamed, ‘Kitty, where are you? I’m very hungry and so is my baby doll.’ Before she sped from the room Kitty tucked both telegrams into her handbag. She intended to hand both over to her father after the ceremony.
Both couples had favoured a registry office marriage but this decision had absolutely horrified Jenny. She even said that she would not attend either of the services. The reason given was that if her God was not being asked to bless the unions then she could not add to the slight to Him by attending.
After prolonged negotiations, both couples relented and agreed to be married in the vestry of South Leith Parish Church. For three of the group this was not too big a climb-down as they were all members of that church but, for Hans, it was a major step as he was not, nor did he intend to become, a member of the Church of Scotland. Nonetheless, as his most desired wish was to be legally married to his darling Kate, he vowed to keep faithful to her in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for the rest of his natural life. These sacred vows were made in front of the South Leith church’s ordained minister.
The brides both looked radiant and happy. Both were dressed in their very best, which, because of a shortage of clothing coupons, had been altered to suit the occasion. Kate, whom her mother had thought was starting to dress far too young for her age since she became engaged to Hans, wore a royal-blue suit with matching hat that Kate herself had decorated with ribbons and flowers. Connie, on the other h
and, had chosen a voluminous red dress with a matching, thankfully moderately subdued, Carmen Miranda in That Night in Rio-style hat. Despite there being only artificial flowers and cherries available, it nevertheless took Connie three nights to produce an exotic Easter bonnet that brought smiles and titters to everybody who eyed it.
After getting her own way about having church blessed weddings, Jenny had thrown herself into providing a reception tea at her house in Parkvale Place. The spread in peacetime would have been remarked upon as extraordinarily lavish and even more so in times of severe rations and shortages.
Everything went according to plan except that Kitty, who had started crying in the church, seemed to be so forlorn that Jenny had to take her aside and say to her, ‘I know it is difficult for you but this is your dad and Connie’s big day so try to smile.’ Kitty nodded but the tears still tumbled down.
At the end of the evening, Hans, who was eager to leave with Kate to spend their honeymoon night in a hotel, got up and thanked everyone, especially Jenny, for their lovely day.
It was now Johnny’s turn to speak and, taking Connie’s hand in his he began with, ‘It has been a very special day for me and my lovely wife.’ Everyone tittered. ‘And,’ Johnny paused to make sure he had everybody’s attention before continuing, ‘now we wish to share a wonderful secret with you.’
Connie blushed. ‘No. Not here, Johnny.’
‘Yes, here,’ was Johnny’s emphatic reply, while giving her stomach a loving pat. ‘You see, my Connie is pregnant and our baby is due at the beginning of June!’
Jenny collapsed onto a chair. Kate gasped and Kitty thrust herself towards her father. Taking the two telegrams from her handbag she forcefully threw them at him. ‘One,’ she shrieked as she fell to the floor, ‘is from Bobby wishing you well and the other … is to say … is to say … that my darling brother Jack’s ship was torpedoed and he was … killed outright!’
Kate extracted herself from Hans’s grip and she bent down to take Kitty into her arms. ‘No. No. My darling,’ she began. ‘This cannot be. It must not be.’
‘It is,’ sobbed Kitty, ‘and it is my dad’s, and only my dad’s fault. Jack, my darling brother, would not have signed up for the Merchant Navy except for our dad getting married again.’
Lifting her head she then surveyed all the guests before she added, ‘He just couldn’t bear to see our mum replaced but thank goodness he isn’t alive, Dad, to know that you bedded Connie before you had a right to do so! Done what you dared all of us not to do for fear of giving you a red face. Well, Dad, look at my face, it’s crimson with shame. Stinging red-hot because of the embarrassment I feel for our family. How could you, Dad?’
An uneasy silence filled the room and all eyes were on Johnny. They witnessed his face become bloodless as the horror of what Kitty had revealed sunk into his consciousness. Physically dropping down on to the floor his eyes sought Kitty’s in an effort to plead for her forgiveness. Slipping his hand over towards her he tried to cover hers but she pulled away from him. ‘I am so sorry, Kitty. Can’t you see I was lonely and afraid the night you went to Liverpool? Connie, dear Connie, was the only one at home that I could turn to. She’s not a bad person. All her adult life she too has felt forlorn and isolated and we thought …’
Kitty put up her hand to indicate to her father that she had something to say then in a voice full of emotion she muttered, ‘That’s the trouble, Dad, you didn’t think. Both of you only thought of your own gratification and the result of that is my Jack, Mum’s darling boy, her Jack Spratt, is now in a watery grave.’
‘I admit I’ve done wrong and that I did not give you, my children, the support you needed when your mum …’ He hesitated before whispering, ‘When Sandra died, but if you will give us a chance …’ He quickly held out his hand to Connie. ‘We, Connie and I, will work hard to give you the home and support you all deserve.’
‘Fine, Dad, but the other thing I was going to tell you when we got home tonight was that tomorrow I am moving out. You see I applied, and I have been accepted, to start my nurse’s training in Leith Hospital on Monday. So what I had intended to do was spend the weekend with my supposedly supportive and loving family and then give you and Connie space.’
‘We can still do that and mourn for Jack.’
‘No, Dad, I will only be going back up to Restalrig to pack my bags.’
Kitty turned to face Jenny. ‘Granny,’ she pleaded, ‘could I stay here with you until tomorrow night and then I will get out of everybody’s way. Oh and Granny, before I can pack a suitcase do you have one that I could borrow?’
Jenny nodded. ‘Of course you can stay. Hans and Kate also had something to tell everyone tonight and that is they will be making their home with me. Housing is so short and I too would by lonely without my Kate.’ She said no more but the malevolent stare she gave Johnny spoke volumes.
The beginning of her married life with Johnny had not lived up to Connie’s romantic expectations.
Kitty’s news that Jack had been killed had completely devastated Johnny, and the feeling had only been aggravated by Kitty screaming that Jack had only signed up for the Merchant Navy as he did not wish to be around when Johnny replaced his darling mum, Sandra, with Connie.
The result of all this remorse was that when the family returned home from the wedding reception there was a melancholy air throughout the house.
Eventually Connie climbed into Johnny’s bed. But instead of being welcomed by her husband, her partner for the night was none other than a very fractious Rosebud.
Inconsolable, Johnny spent his wedding night alone by the fireside. All he could do was plead with God. Over and over he asked Him through sobs and cries, ‘Why, dear Father, did you decide to punish me yet again? I try to think what heinous crimes I have committed that make You test me so? And to take my Jack, who was just a devil-may-care slip of a lad. But he was a loyal son who deserved not to have his life stolen from him.’ The other problem that was causing Johnny so much grief was that Jack wouldn’t be buried in Seafield cemetery beside his mother, so the family could not go and pay their respects to him there. Instead Jack’s mortal remains were now in the depths of the Mediterranean Sea. It was just so difficult for Johnny to accept that all Jack would have in remembrance was his name on a plaque in South Leith church. The plaque would also register the names of the other young men in the congregation who had fallen in the present conflict.
Honeymooning with Connie was a prospect that Johnny just could not contemplate at this time of such overwhelming sorrow. Unfortunately this abstention was his way of doing penance, and never for a moment did he consider that it was wrong to inflict this punishment on innocent Connie.
Kate also had a problem with honeymooning. In her case it was not that she and Hans slept apart. No, they were very much together in every sense of being married. They had, however, not gone to a hotel for the wedding night as planned but had stayed at Parkville Place.
It was right that they had because Kate was awakened in the early hours with what at first she thought were the howls of a wounded animal. Going downstairs to investigate she found the wails were coming from Kitty, her heartbroken niece.
‘Come on, darling,’ she pleaded as she swept Kitty up into her arms. ‘Jack is at peace and he would not wish you to be so distraught.’
‘Aunty Kate,’ sobbed Kitty, ‘why?’
‘Why did Jack have to die?’
‘Yes, but also why did Dad and Connie … ?’
A few long sighs escaped Kate before she muttered, ‘Don’t be too hard on your dad or Connie. Can’t you see they were just two lonely people who started to be attracted to each other? It is a natural thing for a man and woman to be drawn towards each other. Nature is clever. Her purpose is to get us to reproduce and it has made the union of a man and …’ She was about to say wife but she hesitated before adding, ‘a woman a desirable and beautiful experience.’
‘It can’t be as you say because I am always told i
t is wrong and dirty.’
Kate huffed. ‘They say that to put you off. You see, my darling, no one would wish you to have a child out of marriage. It is just so important that a child is brought up in a home with a mum and dad.’
‘Then why did God take my mum?’
Kate couldn’t answer that question so all she said was, ‘Monday is a new beginning for you. You are going out into the world and you will meet many people and be tempted so often to break the rules.’ Kate paused. ‘I know about temptation because I broke the rules twice and …’
‘Did you ever regret breaking them?’
‘To be truthful – no. And faced with what I was on those two occasions I would do exactly as I did then. But, my dear Kitty, one of them resulted in my having a miscarriage after an accident and that I do regret. Believe me, since then I have just yearned to be a mother. I am lucky in that your mum shared you and your brothers with me. That’s fine but I have not had my own child to hold and I sorely regret having missed that.’ Kitty made as if to interrupt but Kate silenced her by pressing two of her fingers over Kitty’s mouth. ‘Shush, dear, and listen. Your dad, my brother Johnny, is a good man. What I believe, and I most certainly do, is that Connie does care deeply for him. What I am saying is they are not bed-hoppers. They genuinely care for each other and they never meant to hurt anyone. Surely you won’t punish two lonely …’
Kitty struggled free from Kate. ‘Lonely? How could Dad or Connie be lonely when they had the family all around them?’
Drawing Kitty closely into herself again, Kate replied, ‘Kitty, I know how lonely and isolated you can feel in a room full of people. There are different kinds of loneliness. Hans and I were lonely until we found each other.’ Hoping that Kitty would in time mature and repair the broken relationship with her father, Kate reluctantly removed her arms from Kitty. Without saying another word Kate returned to her bedroom and sank gratefully into the comforting arms of her husband.
