by Ira Tabankin
He smugly sat down smiling at everyone. He doesn’t understand why everyone but his council members are staring at him as if he had two heads.
Jay laughs so hard his beer flows out of his nose. After wiping it with his sleeve, he replies.
“Get out. Get out now before I kill you. We don’t need a program manager, nor any paperwork filed, we need manual labor to help clear and expand our fields so we can feed all of you. We have nothing to discuss. We don’t have a town council, we’re not going to waste the time to write and submit an environmental impact study. We’re talking about the difference of people living or dying. Hence, I think you should leave.”
The speaker for the ruling council looks at Jay in surprise.”
“Wait, I believe it best if you think this over. How about we meet again after breakfast? I’ll be able to show you the required reports and forms, plus we brought samples of forms and proposals we’ve filled out and successfully submitted. We’ve also brought a list of projects we’ve won approval for. Hell, we might even be able to get you a grant to cover your expansion costs. Yes, yes we can. I think I know a number of different federal and state programs your expansion should qualify for. You may not have to lay out any upfront money. Once the government approves our submission and your project is reviewed by a local expert we can locate an expert to write a report stating you're not endangering any local or endangered animals, then all that need happen is we find a third party expert to review your water use and eighteen to twenty-four months later you should be approved for your grant. See, we can be a real help to you.”
He sits down very proud of himself. He high-fived the other members of his council who are sitting around him. They all turn to look at Jay.
“GET OUT. Leave my house right now. Get out before I throw you out. Get out before I shoot you.”
“Wait, can we discuss us buying thirty days of food for our town?”
“How are you going to pay me, in more useless reports?”
One of the council members opens a small suitcase filled with $200 bills of the new currency. Jay reaches in, he holds up a bill with the President’s smiling face on it. Jay shakes his head.
“Doesn’t even make good toilet paper. I think the phrase made famous on television was, no deal. Tony, please escort our guests to the bottom of the driveway. Make sure they don’t come back. If they refuse to leave, shoot and bury them where no one will ever find their bodies. Accidents happen all the time.”
Tony smiles pointing towards the back door.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please follow me. My steak is done, I like my dinner hot. I’ll give you five minutes to pack and meet me at the front door. Our quick reaction team will ensure you leave our property, either on your feet or your dead body dragged by your feet.”
“You’re going to be very sorry when the secret service breaks in and arrests all of you.”
“I can’t wait. Get going, the clock is ticking and I’m getting angrier every second you delay.”
Chapter 18
Ricky looks at the fields in front of him, he’s managed to cut down ten yards of weeds and bushes. He’s dirty, sweaty and in a lot of pain. He’s left foot is still swollen, he’s wrapped it in multiple layers of bandages and is wearing a cut open sneaker without laces so his foot doesn’t touch the ground. Even in a sneaker, he winces in pain every time he steps on a stone. He curses Jay with every painful breath he takes. He looks back at the broken down trailer he’s been put into. It doesn’t even have running water. He’s lonely, no one comes by to see him. His wife visits him once or twice a day, she refuses to spend the night in his non air-conditioned shack. Ricky smiles when sees his wife approaching.
“Sam, this is worse than a prison, you have to talk to your father and get me out of here. I want to return to our rooms. There’s no running water, no electricity, I have to do backbreaking work every day in order to get anything to eat. You need to remind him that eating is a God given right. He can’t make me work for food, that’s not right. In addition, the only thing they bring me to eat is two MREs a day; to piss me off they usually bring me the same MRE at the same time, have you ever had a spaghetti MRE for breakfast or try to make coffee over a campfire? Please, talk to him, I’ll promise him anything. If you love me, you’ll find a way to bring me home.”
“Ricky, he made it very clear that he’ll never allow you into the castle. He said if he finds you even within two hundred yards of the castle he’ll shoot you as a burglar.”
“Shit, there has to be some way we can overcome the little differences between him and me.”
“Ricky, you tried to kill him. That's not something dad or anyone quickly gets over. It might take him years, that is, if ever, to forgive you. He has a really long memory. He won’t allow anyone to mention your name in front of him.”
“I was only doing what I thought was best for everyone.”
“Don’t go there. I’m not buying it and he won’t either.”
“Why won’t you spend the night with me?”
“For Christ's sake, does trying to kill my father mean anything to you? I haven’t forgiven you either.”
“I don’t understand. You fought with him to bring me back. Now you’re telling me you’re holding it against me too?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t easily forgive you. I begged my dad to save you because I couldn’t stand seeing you in pain and knowing they were going to kill you. That doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump back into bed with you. I don’t have as long a memory as my dad, but, it is going to take some time for me to forgive you. I have a little present for you.”
“What is it? I love presents.”
Sammi pulls a small package out of her purse,
“I knew they were giving you just enough food to keep you alive and I know you love cookies; these are home made.”
She unwraps six homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Ricky smiles, he reaches for the cookies before Sammy slaps his hand away from them. You’re not getting them for nothing. I want a promise from you that you will do everything my dad tells you to. It will hurry along his forgiving.”
“You just finished telling me he doesn’t forgive or forget and now you’re asking me to be his slave?”
“If you work your ass off he may see you in a different light. Promise me and I’ll give you the cookies.”
“I promise. I cross my heart. I will do everything he asks of me; can I have my cookies now?”
“Here. I’m going back to the castle.”
“That’s it? You’re not going to spend the rest of the day with me?”
“No, I’m not. You have work to do, plus you stink. You should bathe, there’s a stream about a half mile from your shack. Use it before tomorrow.”
“Sam, the water is ice cold and it’s hard to walk that far with my foot hurting so much.”
“Then don’t expect to see me tomorrow.”
Sammi leaves Ricky standing in the yard with the cookies in his hand.
She says over her shoulder, “By the way, I’m serious, I won’t be back until you clean yourself up.”
“Can you bring me a large bucket so I can heat up the water?”
“I’ll think about it. I’m sure there are pots in your house, start with those.”
“That could take forever.”
“Time seems to be the one thing you have.”
“Thanks.”
The next day Fred arrives with a single MRE. Ricky asks Fred,
“Where's my other MRE? I worked clearing some of the land.”
“You got cookies last night, that wasn't our deal. Cookies equal a subtraction of one MRE. Get back to work. You're starting to lag behind your plan.
@@@@@
Jay and his remaining guests enjoy their steaks and beer. While they relax over coffee, one of the reps says.
“Can I bring up something a little off the wall?”
Everyone nods yes. He reaches into his backpack pulling out the Confederate
Flag. Jay and Tony look at it, Tony smiles saying,
“According to your President, you are a racist. I ought to report you.”
Everyone laughs.
“Listen to me. The country is a mess, the economy is in the shitter, we’re fighting the Cartel and ISIS on our own streets. The President sits in the White House talking about Global Warming and why we need to be welcoming an additional fifty thousand Syrian refugees. We have over one hundred fifty million people out of the job market. People are hungry, they are desperate. I think we should use the current confusion to break away and reform the Confederacy. We’re on the way to having our own currency. Our currency will be made of gold and silver, meaning we won’t ever have worthless dollars the fed plastered the country with. The idiots in D.C. most likely won’t even realize we’re gone. We should be able to convince enough of the military to join us. If each state from the old Confederacy joins us, we’ll be more powerful than what’s left of the union.”
Most are silent. Jay and Tony sit thinking about what was just said.
Jay says.
“Over one hundred fifty years ago, Lincoln attacked the South, the Civil War pit brother against brother, family against family. It tore the country apart. The damage it caused hasn’t healed even today. We’ll be attacked, causing a war that could lead to a third world war. The Chinese have their hands on Hawaii, ISIS and the Cartel are in our backyard. I’m not sure we can we afford to kick over the hornet's nest of a civil war again. Review the history of the suffering the last civil war caused. Most of the people in the North dislike us in the South to begin with, breaking away will make them all hate us. We’d end up fighting a three front war. I think the only military to ever win a two front war was us, in the Second World War. We had millions of people in uniform, plus a lot of allied countries. The country’s entire industrial output was converted to building war material. We can’t repeat that today. We’ll be fighting on three fronts against the strongest military in the world. This doesn’t sound like good odds to me. One other point, the new currency is nothing more than the Fed’s existing gold and silver coins. We’re not really making our own currency; we’re using theirs in a different way. We’d have to melt down all of our existing inventory of coins and cast them into new molds to be Confederate coins. A lot of work for people who aren’t skilled in doing it.”
“Jay, we can do this, we really can. I think we should meet with leaders of other southern states and see if we can reform the Confederacy. Imagine what we could be without the burden of the country’s debt. We can openly carry the Bible, we can openly pray, we can set our own immigration rules. We can run our own lives. In summary, we’ll be able to live in a country that operates on the faith and principles of the founders, not a dictator in D.C. We’ll never have a better chance. The idiots in D.C. are focused on the Chinese, on climate change, on PC language towards Muslims, on how to increase revenues, and how to correct the currency mess they created, the only thing they are good at is creating a problem and then half solving it. Most of us in the rural areas have had enough. The President said we are sad because we cling to our Bibles and guns; we want it that way. We think if the South is reunited, the Cartel and ISIS will become too scared to keep attacking us. They’d realize very quickly we’re not the pansy ass politicians in D.C. Are you with us?”
Jay looks around the conference room before saying.
“Let’s assume we could find a way to break away from the union, do you think the feds will just allow us to leave without paying our share of the national debt? Let’s also assume we can find a way to convince the Cartel and ISIS to leave us alone too. Don’t you think the North will respond in the same manner that Lincoln did? We could be condemning hundreds of thousands to their deaths. We could be overseeing the death of the South.”
“What if we can convince the Chinese to recognize us. The President didn’t stop the Chinese from taking Hawaii, do you think he will do anything to block us if the Chinese recognize us? We think he’ll quickly back down.”
Jay stops mid-word,
“My God. I didn’t think of that. That’s a hell of an idea. If China backed us, the Cartel might withdraw, ISIS might disengage too. It might save us from having to fight on a three-way front. That could really force the President’s hand. Do any of us know how to approach them without them thinking we are an easy target for them to absorb. They could decide to back us and then swoop in taking us over, we’d find ourselves in a two or at the very worst a four front war, fighting D.C. Chinese, the Cartel, and ISIS. We would lose such a war. We don’t have the manpower or systems advanced enough to fight and win such a battle.”
“Jay, can’t you see any way for us to win?”
“Not at the moment. If we lost to the Chinese, they would be worse than the morons we already have. The South could end up as scorched earth with nothing of value left behind. We’re going to need to form a shadow government while all of the details come together. Who are we going to get to run the New South? We’re going to need a leader who can pullthe various groups together making them support the breakaway effort. We’re going to have to meet with the various governors and state legislatures. They are going to have to vote to secede. Where are we going to find a person to lead this new South?”
Their eyes turn to look at Jay.
“Wait, don’t look at me. I’m no politician. I’m a gentleman farmer. There’s no God damn way I want to be a politician. I don’t have any patience for bullshit, in fact, my patience can be measured in negative numbers. I’d last about two minutes in a normal press conference. I hate the way the media attacks conservatives. I’d hand them their heads in the middle of them asking their gotcha questions. You need to look elsewhere. There’s no way anyone would follow me. My answer is no, hell no.”
Tony laughs, he spits up his beer wiping the tears from his eyes.
“Jay, you’re a lot of things, but you’re no gentleman!”
Everyone on the patio laughs.
Lacy and Nancy watch and listen to the discussion, they tell the ‘boys’ they have to use the restroom. Once they’re away from the ‘boys’ Nancy grabs Lacy asking,
“Oh my God, I didn’t see that coming. I’m excited for you.”
“Surprised the shit out of me. I don’t even know what to think or say. I’m so confused. Please don’t be excited for me. It’s never going to happen. I know Jay, there’s no way he would accept being a politician.”
“I think Jay should seriously consider leading the breakaway nation. He’d be very good at it. People will follow him; he can point to how he protected the people on the farm to how he’ll protect everyone in the South. It’s going to be so much fun. I can’t wait for the campaign; Tony can be real helpful in getting out the vote for Jay.”
“I’m sure he can. What’s he going to do, tell people, he’ll break their legs if they don’t vote for Jay? We could set a record for the percent of people voting.”
“Who’s going to run against Jay with Tony being his campaign manager? Tony will make sure Jay wins. I’m so excited.”
“Nancy, it’s not funny. This is very serious. Jay’s a student of history. He knows what seceding means. At the end of the day, I don’t think he’ll agree. I’m not sure he’ll think it’s a good idea to openly force the Fed’s hand.”
“Will he discuss it with you?”
“Yes. I’m sure he will.”
“Tell him I think he should do it. He’ll make a great President. I can visit you in the new White House, or will it be the Presidential shelter? Hell, maybe he’ll appoint Tony as his Vice President. Oh my God, I could be Mrs. Vice President.”
“That’s not even funny.”
“I bet the President gets a better shelter, at least one where people can’t hear everything everyone whispers. I admit, part of it was fun to just sit and listen to everyone.”
“Nancy, sorry, but I don’t think he’ll do it. It’s fun to joke about it and play what ifs, but in the end, I know
Jay. He won’t agree to support breaking away.”
“Talk him into it. He’s a good administrator and leader. He’d be a much better leader than the little boy in the White House now. I really think you should sleep on it. It sounds like it could really happen.”
“Nancy, these are four local towns. If the movement gains speed, normal asshole politicians will jump to grab the strings of power. They won’t let something like forming a new government slip through their sticky fingers.”
