“I can’t help it.”
Shutting off the lamp, the only light came from his laptop, illuminating his handsome face in the darkness. “I don’t understand.”
“Understand what?” I asked groggy.
“Why do you worry about me? I don’t understand. I am not your assignment. You are mine. I protect you. I keep you safe. I worry about your well being.”
Pushing the pillow underneath my head to watch him closer, “Haven’t you ever had any one that you have been assigned to, worry about you?”
Laughing, “No. It’s just absurd.”
“It is not absurd.” Now offended.
“Tell me how it is not? I am stronger than any human. I am faster, more knowledgeable. To have someone worry about my well being is absurd.”
He was really starting to tick me off, “You may be an angel, but you have feelings, you can feel pain, you can feel joy, sorrow. Can you not?”
Putting his feet up on the bed, he leaned back in the recliner, “Why do you argue about these things? Arguing does not change the facts. Such facts that I have already outlined.”
Shaking my head, I was getting no where. Stubborn mule of a man. Changing the subject, “Why are you trying to look for a specific demon?”
“There is a hierarchy in hell just as there is in heaven. There is a upper level demon pulling strings to get to you. If I can find the top and take him out, the attacks will become fewer. You may be able to try to live a normal life.”
Sighing, “Until when? Until the next batch of demons find out about my abilities? Then what? I’m just dead?”
“More than likely another angel will be assigned to you. Sent to protect you.”
“Another angel? It wouldn’t be you?”
“Probably not.”
I didn’t like that. It hurt my heart. Then that scared me, knowing that it hurt.
“You look disappointed.”
I couldn’t tell if it was a statement or a question. Just staring nervously at him through the darkness.
“You must not become attached to me Carma.”
That statement made me feel like a fool, “Why don’t you just give me to another angel then Blane. That way you don’t have to worry about any attachment’s.”
Becoming angry, “No! You are mine.” His voice becoming hard with emotion.
Glaring at him, “Make up your mind then. I’m not an assignment and I’m nobody’s property.” Turning over and staring at the opposite wall, I couldn’t look at him any longer. I never met anyone that pissed me off as much as him. What a self absorbed asshole. I wanted to scream. My throat still sore from my hyperventilating episode earlier, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.
Waking up to the sound of knives clanking, my mind was still muddled with sleep. Sitting up and scurrying to the top of the bed against the head board I waited for my eyes to start adjusting. I was scared for what seemed like the hundredth time today. My eyes finally adjusting, Blane was fighting another demon. This one was giving him a run for his money. I stifled my scream when he was thrown into the dresser, breaking the glass in the mirror. Shards flying everywhere.
“Give me the woman.” The demon sneered out, a knife to Blane’s throat.
“Never going to happen.” He spit out before his knife reappeared in his hand, sticking it in the demons gut. The demon hunched over, right before Blane took his head. I was shaking again. I was so tired, that tiredness gave away to hysteria. Starting to get out of bed, Blane grabbed me around the waist pushing me back in.
“Don’t get up. There is glass everywhere.” He commanded.
“I can’t do this Blane. I can’t live the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.” Oh yeah the melt down was coming full force.
He was staring down at me like a deer in the headlights. I could tell he didn’t know which way to go. His hand still on my waist, he continued to stare at me.
“You’ll be okay Carma. I promise you that I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again.” He said trying to reason with me.
“What about you? Can you promise me that you won’t hurt me?” The question that has been burning in my head for days now, slipping out uncontrollably.
Looking at me confused, “I would never hurt you. Or any woman.”
“That’s not what I meant. It doesn’t matter.”
Putting his hand to my face. “It does. What is on your mind? I can tell something is bothering you.”
“I’m falling apart here Blane. I’m slipping, barely breathing.” Refusing to cry, I looked up stubbornly into his dark eyes.
“I won’t let that happen. I won’t let go.”
“Don’t say those things, unless you mean them.” My hysterics moving to a whole new level.
“You know I do not lie.”
“You will let go Blane. You will have to someday.”
“Do you not want me to?” He asked his face turning even more serious.
That was the million dollar question. “Do you look at me as yours?” Reversing the uncomfortable question on him. “And if you say I’m your assignment I’m going to kick you in your male parts.”
Smirking, “I repeat. Do you want me to let you go someday?”
“Don’t you have a demon body to get rid of?” Pointing in the general direction of the body, minus the head.
“Always evading the questions. This one I just might not let you.” Walking over to the body he picked it up along with the head. The doors to the balcony swung open on their own accord and he dumped the body over the railing.
“Don’t you have to dispose of it some how?”
Walking back in, the glass crunched under his boots. “The woods have a way of cleaning it up for you. Now as for that question.”
“You have blood on your clothes.” Stalking over to me, his clothes were replaced by clean ones, never breaking eye contact. He was looking at me like I was his next meal. I’m not sure if it excited me or made me nervous.
Standing in between my legs, he looked down at me again. “Why won’t you answer me?”
“Why won’t you answer me?” I countered.
“I do think of you as mine. You are not just an assignment. Your turn.”
My heart soared and plummeted all at the same time. Knowing the Council would never let it be. “No, I don’t want you to let me go.” I didn’t want to say those words. Everything changes when you say words like that to someone. Feeling like everything would change if I didn’t. This moment felt like a fork in the road. Either decision would lead me down an irreversible path. It would have been easy to lie, to tell him I want a life with a husband and kids and the white picket fence someday. Those things that mattered in the past were no longer important to me. The reason was glaringly obvious. That dream didn’t contain Blane. Without Blane, it no longer mattered to me anymore.
Leaning down towards me, the world moved in slow motion. I wanted to remember every moment, knowing this was a limited time offer. To have my own angel in this moment of time. If only for a mere moment I would take it and cherish it. When his lips touched mine, my own emotions flooded my body. Heat, longing, and love. I loved him. Not quite sure when it happened, it didn’t really matter. I loved this man and angel with everything inside me. I would do anything to protect him, like he does me.
“Tell me when you want me to stop.” He whispered in my ear, his shirt disappearing from his body.
Running my hand up his muscular back, I didn’t know when I wanted to stop. Never? Even never sounded to soon. This time I didn’t have a reluctant response in my body. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled his massive body of muscles down on top of me. Kissing every piece of skin on his body that wasn’t clothed.
“You’re driving me crazy angel girl. Tell me now.”
“I don’t want you to stop.” In that instant all my clothes disappeared and I was jealous of that handy little trick.
Looking down at my body, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, human or angel.”
Making a path with his mouth down my neck and then to my breasts. I wish I had the same trick and could make his clothes vanish. Running my fingers up his intricate tattoo I never thought I would hold such a man in my arms. Before I could rip my lips away to complain about his clothes, they vanished from his body giving me a full perspective of what was underneath them. If I was hot before, I was to the point of a boil over now. It had been to long since I laid down with a man. It never ended well and I never made a habit of it. Being able to read their emotions and being able to tell if they could lie, would ruin it before we even got to that point. To make love to someone that I was in love with was different. Better.
Rolling me over until I was now on top of him he ran his fingers through my hair.
“Carma.” Blane said looking at me with a pained expression.
“Don’t say anything. I don’t want to think about the future. I just want to think about now.”
Nodding his head, his hands clamped onto my cheeks and brought my lips back down to his in a frenzy. His hands were now scorching and moving all over my body. Holding me tightly against him my heart was pounding in my chest. As he rolled me back over gently, his lips never left mine as his strong arms held his weight up off me. Turning my head as his lips seared down my cheek and to my neck, I admired his muscular arm that was standing solid as he tortured me with his mouth. Moving my gaze down to his pecks and then to his washboard abs, I had never seen a man so gorgeous in my entire life. His hair falling onto his forehead as he brought his lips back up to mine, our eyes connected mere seconds before he pushed inside of me. His usual cool body was now blazing hot against mine. His eyes never left mine as he drove me to heights that no other man has ever accomplished. I knew in my heart at that moment, no other man could ever measure up.
I don’t know how long we were tangled up in each others arms afterward. I just knew I had a confusing mix of happiness, sadness and hopelessness. Happiness that I loved this man. Sadness that I loved this man, and confusion about what was going to happen in the future.
Half of his body was laying on mine, his head beside mine on the pillow. Sheets were tangled around us in a comfortable heap. Running my fingers across his chest, admiring his tattoo again. “What does it mean?”
“Hmm?”
The man sounded exhausted for the first time since I knew him.
“The tattoo.”
“I don’t know.”
Laughing, “What do you mean you don’t know? Then why did you get it?”
“I didn’t. It appeared one day soon after I was brought into this world. I was told it would mean something to me someday. That was hundreds of years ago.”
“You don’t know anything about it?”
“Just that it’s tribal.”
Shaking my head, I figured that part out. This man was such a mystery, straight down to his tattoo’s.
“You are amazing and beautiful angel girl.” Bringing his thumb up to my cheek.
It still felt surreal being tangled up in this gorgeous mans arms.
“What now?” I asked with apprehension in my heart.
“We keep fighting.”
That was a rather vague answer, but then again so wasn’t the question.
Leaning into him and kissing him gently on the lips, “Thank you for saving my life again.”
“You’re welcome. Anytime.” Smiling and looking into my eyes. “Sleep angel.”
Chapter Nine
Waking up I wasn’t sure what time of day it was. The curtains were pulled still draping us in darkness. He was still next to me, and the joy that brought to me was indescribable. Turning my head to look into his eyes, realizing he was sleeping. Smiling, now he sleeps. Curling up closer to his body I didn’t want to leave this bed ever again. My new reality was filled with demons trying to murder me, use me, or just torture me. I much rather preferred laying naked next to this gorgeous angel. I knew I couldn’t have him forever. I knew no one would ever measure up to him. Wondering if I could even learn to harness my abilities to try to have a normal life. And that’s when the demons aren’t hunting me.
Looking over at the clock it was two in the afternoon and I couldn’t believe we had slept that long. Well me at least, Blane hadn’t slept in days. Thinking back to the promise I made to myself merely days ago. Telling myself when he fell asleep, I was going to leave. Never putting him in harms way again. Looking at him now it was an even harder promise to keep. Now even more fiercely never wanting to put him in harms way. At the same time, I loved him and I wanted to never leave his side. Do I take the selfish route and stay with him until our time is up? That time being either he dies or I die. Or he kills the demons after me and I eventually get another angel to protect me. Or do I just leave, and quite possibly die myself? In a perfect world I would stay with him. Even if I was lucky enough for just that to happen, I would age. He wouldn’t.
Looking over at him again, his eyes were now open and staring at me. Smiling, “How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough to see an entire array of emotions flash across your face. What is wrong Carma? Do you regret it?”
“No. No. Absolutely not. Do you?”
Running his hands through my hair, “The only regret is that we didn’t sooner.”
Smiling at him, trying my hardest not to show the sadness I was feeling inside.
“I will fight everyday to protect you. To keep you safe.” He promised with sincerity in his voice.
“Until when? Until you are reassigned to someone else? Or, until you have killed all the demons required and then I’m eventually attacked again, and then here comes some other angel to save the day?”
“I will fight to stay with you Carma. I will do everything in my power. Do you believe me? I know asking you to believe me without your abilities to fall back on is hard for you. I’m asking you to do so anyway.”
“I believe you Blane.” Allowing a long pause between us. “Why me? What makes me different than some of the other women you have been assigned to? Please tell me I’m not one of many.”
Smiling and shaking his head, “You just don’t see it.”
“See what?”
“You are not one of many, you are the only person I have ever been assigned to that I have slept with. And as for the why you? I can’t explain it. There is something about you. You aggravate me. Your stubborn, your stunningly beautiful, caring and you make me want to protect you fiercely. You bring out the best in me, even after this short of time.”
Leaning in and kissing me passionately, he rolled me over on top of him. I felt so tiny on top of his broad, strong body. It did make me feel protected and safe. Deepening his kisses, his cell phone started ringing on the night stand.
“Ugh.” He complained reaching for it.
I had to smile, seeing a glimpse of Blane agitated didn’t happen very often. Laying my head down on his chest, he put the phone to his ear.
“Yeah.” He said visibly annoyed. “You did? No, that won’t work. I barely got her out alive last time. The abandoned one? Yeah I know it. Okay, twenty minutes.” Throwing his phone on the stand, “We have to go.”
Wrapping my arms around him tighter, I gave the best whine I could muster.
“Believe me, no one wants to stay more than I.”
“Why do we have to go?”
“Rylan and Aiden have information for me.”
“I thought they were going to send Gabriel?”
“He’s a new angel and it must be important information.”
Sighing and rolling off of him, “Okay.” Standing up and wrapping the sheet around me I walked over to the closet.
“I could get used to a view like this.”
He said as his hands were behind his head smiling at me. Smiling back at him, “Should I wear something I can run in this time?”
“Yeah.”
Dropping the sheet I pulled on a pair of black jeans with a white v-neck sweater. Looking back at him, he was still star
ing. “Are you going to get ready? Or are you just going to watch me get dressed?”
“Oh definitely watch you. Besides it doesn’t take me long.” Standing up his clothes materialized on him in an instant.
“I’m so jealous.”
Smirking, “One of the perks of being an angel.”
Pulling on a pair of black boots, I pulled my pant legs over them and stood. Tying back my hair I turned around in the mirror and decided that would have to be good enough.
“You look breath taking.”
“You, with the compliments. If you think that is going to get me back in bed then, well your probably right.”
Laughing, he pulled me into his arms. “Ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Taking my hand, all the bolts on his bedroom door unlocked before walking me out into the hallway.
I was more than happy when I found out we wouldn’t be going into the city again. Turning right out of his driveway we drove deeper into the countryside. Reaching over and holding my hand he squeezed, giving me a reassuring smile.
“You don’t particularly like being around other angels do you?” I asked him curious.
“No.” Looking forward, giving me the short answer.
“You’re only doing it for me aren’t you?”
“Yes.” Another short answer.
It wasn’t very long until we pulled up to an old abandoned house that resembled nothing more than a shack at this point. Decaying wood barely held the tiny porch together, moss winding up the sides. The windows were cracked, and the yard was over grown. Turning the engine off, he was around at my door opening it before I even had a chance to blink. “Is this one of those instances where you’re trying to make people believe that it’s run down?” Tripping over a tree root, Blane caught me before I fell.
“Nope, it’s really run down.”
“If there is one thing I have learned from you Blane, is not everything is what it seems.”
Stopping and looking at me, “Glad you’re paying attention. You might survive this yet.”
Grabbing my arm and continuing up the steps, “You know, you don’t have to be truthful all the time. No scratch that, you don’t always have to say what you’re thinking.” I told him, trying not to trip again.
Dimmest Of Night (Dimmest Of Night Series) Page 12
