Jake gave a few uh-huhs to keep Meryl talking.
“Johnny played the part that Cary Grant played in Arsenic and Old Lace. He had a bit of talent, but he was better-looking than he was an actor. Anyhow, he was traveling with the show to Hollywood where he hoped to become a film star.”
“Big dreams,” Jake commented.
“Oh, Johnny Goodloe was a big dreamer. And he put some dreams in Anne’s head. I still can’t imagine her running off and leaving Kate. Why, they were as close as close can be.”
“I know.”
“I thought that girl would grieve herself to death, until she seemed to latch on to you.” Meryl leaned back. “I thought you were going to marry her.”
“I tried,” Jake said. “Kate wanted to leave Colorado. She wanted to start a new life.”
“That’s not hard to understand. She’d lost everything she ever cared about I’d want to move, too.” Meryl drummed her fingers on the counter. “Look, I’ve got to get busy. If you need anything else, just call out.”
“One more thing.” He held her gaze. “Did anybody check up on Johnny Goodloe? I mean, do you know if Anne really knew much about him before she left with him.”
“I suppose she knew all she needed to know.” Meryl shrugged but her eyes brightened. “You know, I accepted the fact that Anne left with the man. But the way you’re asking questions has got me to wondering.”
Jake stood up. “Keep wondering, Meryl, but don’t say a word to anybody. If you happen to run across an address or anything that might help me track down this Goodloe fellow, give me a call.”
“What about Kate? She’s the sheriff.”
Jake patted Meryl’s shoulder. “Don’t mention it to her. If I’m wrong, it will only bring up a lot of old pain for Kate. If I’m right, I’ll tell her when I have the evidence to back it up.”
“I always figured you for a smart man, Jake, even when I saw that dog leading you around by the nose.”
KATE SAT AT THE COMPUTER keyboard, but she didn’t punch the keys. Her mind was on Jake. The night before had been so intense. For the first time in a long, long while she’d felt as if she were connected to someone. Once again, she’d had to learn how very dangerous those feelings could be.
Determined not to dwell on her wounds, she keyed in the information and began the background checks on all of the potential suspects in the arsons. On her list were Alexis, Evelyn, Reverend Lyte, Roy Adams, Betty Cody, Lester Ray, the head honchos of the DDC…and Jake Johnson.
She’d always assumed that folks she’d grown up with wouldn’t have criminal records. Well, the old saying about not assuming anything was true. The DDC members were her only out-of-town suspects. She’d quit assuming and started checking facts.
It would take a while to get back the answers to her queries, and she had an appointment at the bank. She had to stop by the judge’s house and pick up the orders to open financial records to her scrutiny. The fires were based on financial matters—of that much she felt certain. Perhaps there was something hidden in the records that would give her the motive she sought.
She also initiated an insurance check on Alexis Red-field to see if any prior businesses had gone up in flames. Sometimes an arsonist made a living by burning and collecting insurance.
Even though she held little hope of finding solid evidence or even motive, it made her feel better to get busy. She’d allowed her mind to become preoccupied with Jake, and with the past Now she was determined to focus on the case at hand. Either she would solve the - arsons or she would turn in her badge. Coming back to Silver City hadn’t been such a good idea. Not personally or careerwise.
She picked up the phone and dialed the coroner’s office for the third time. Grell was busy working on his report, but she couldn’t wait for him to call. The phone rang five times before the secretary answered and assured her that Grell had no definite report on the remains and that in all likelihood, a positive identification from dental records would have to be done by the state lab, which might take up to twenty-four hours.
“Can’t Grell get them to put a rush on it?” Kate asked.
“Dr. Grell is doing all he can,” his secretary said with a sniff of aggravation. “But he did ask me to give you a message.”
“Yes?” Kate asked eagerly.
“He wants to see you. In person. He said he’ll be finished here in three or four hours. Would that be convenient?”
“Sure. I’ll be there.” Kate replaced the phone, wondering what Mortimer Grell needed to see her in person about. She’d always liked the man, though he was very reserved. She could remember meeting him on the streets when she was a little girl. He always had a piece of candy or some unusual trinket for her. He’d always hand it over to her with a grave smile and a look at her mother to make sure Anne didn’t mind. He’d been strange, and courtly. And Kate knew suddenly that he’d been in love with her mother. The revelation left her a little breathless. How was it that she’d never seen it before? Perhaps because she’d never looked.
At the sound of a knock on her door, she looked up to see a courier dressed in a brown uniform. He held a special delivery letter in his hand.
He nodded. “Special delivery for the fire chief, and one of the firemen over at the station said to bring it here. Would you sign for it?”
Kate hesitated only a fraction of a second. This was Jake’s report. But then he already knew the rudiments of it What would it hurt for her to see it? They were both working on the case, even though they’d decided to work separately. Or at least she’d decided to work alone. “Sure.” She signed the label and took the flat envelope. As soon as the delivery man left, she ripped it open.
The reports on the devices used to start the fires were technical and extensive. The gist was that the timing devices were all of the same make and manufacture, created by a company in Denver, just as the lab tech had told Jake over the phone. There really wasn’t much new information included, but there was a lead.
She noted the manufacturer’s address down on a piece of paper. It wasn’t a long drive to Denver, and she had photographs of most of the major suspects. It was a real long shot, but she had little else to do.
“Meow!”
She looked down to see Familiar standing by her desk. She pulled him into her lap. “Want to ride to Denver?”
Familiar struggled out of her arms. He jumped onto the desk and began knocking the paperwork around with his paw.
“I know you’re mad, and I don’t blame you. But we’re a team, and we’re going to solve this crime.”
Familiar batted the report on Lookout Church over to her.
“You think we need to go back to the crime scene?” It was a wild guess, but she remembered the property map of the Double J Familiar had brought to the bed. Lookout Church had been on the map, as well as Jake’s burned-out ranch.
The cat placed his paw squarely on the location of the church.
“Okay, we’ll run out there on the way to Denver.”
She picked up the photos and the information she’d written down. At the main desk she stopped one of the deputies. “Take this over to Jake,” she said, handing him the packet. “Tell him I’ve gone to Denver to follow the lead on the manufacturer of the timing devices.” Jake might withhold evidence, but she was more professional than that. She checked her watch. “I should be back in plenty of time for the citizens’ meeting tonight, and if I run across anything significant, tell him I’ll call.”
The deputy took the letter and left.
“Meow.” Familiar swatted at the deputy’s leg.
“Come on, cat, we don’t have time to play games.” Kate headed out into the sunshine of another perfect Blue Sky day.
Chapter Thirteen
By the time Kate pulled the truck around, Jake was standing on the sidewalk waiting for her. At the sight of him an old hurt rose up and seemed to take up all the space in her chest. Whatever his reasons for withholding the facts about the body, Kate didn’t know or ca
re. He’d betrayed her—both personally and professionally—and that was all that truly mattered. Her first impulse was to hit the gas and drive by, but that was too reminiscent of how she’d left him in the street when they were eighteen. This time she angled to the curb and waited. Jake held the documents she’d sent over in his hand.
“You’re going to check out the timing devices?” His voice was strained.
“It seems like the best thing to do now.” She found it difficult to meet his gaze. There was so much pain between them. And there had been such intense pleasure. But that only made the pain worse.
“Kate, can we talk first?”
It was what she dreaded most. “What’s there to say, Jake?”
Her offhand tone angered him. She’d been able to walk out fifteen years before, and it seemed she was just as capable of turning her feelings off now. He’d thought of a way to explain his actions to her, as gentle a way as he possibly could come up with. But her attitude struck a deeper emotion. “Do you deny that you feel something for me?”
She considered lying, but that had never been her way of dealing with problems. Avoidance was her preferred mode, but if Jake was going to push it…“No, I don’t deny it.”
“Then at least let’s talk. I can explain.”
“Can you? And even if you can, will it make a difference?” How could she explain to him that every time she felt strong and safe enough to admit her feelings for him, something happened to send her scuttling back into her shell. This was simply too hard. For fifteen years she’d managed not to put herself in line for heartbreak. Maybe running wasn’t such a bad option after all.
At the sound of someone clearing his throat, Jake and Kate both turned. Kate was surprised to see the coroner standing on the street.
“Kate,” he said, nodding.
“Do you have the reports?”
“Not completely. No, that isn’t what I wanted to speak with you about” He glanced at Jake before he continued. “This may seem presumptuous of me, but if so, then I’d rather be guilty of presumption than lack of action.” He cleared his throat again.
Kate was curious. She’d known Grell all of her life, and she’d never known him to interfere in someone’s life a single time.
“It’s about that body in the casino.” He looked directly at Kate. “Jake didn’t tell you about it because he was trying to protect you.” At her expression he reached into the truck and touched her shoulder. “Listen to me, Kate. Jake was afraid it might be the remains of your mother. He wanted to spare you that—having to discover it in such a brutal manner. As it turns out, we know it isn’t. So be angry at him if you choose, but temper your anger with understanding of his concern for you.” He patted her arm awkwardly. “Forgive me for intruding. I was very fond of your mother, and I knew that the man she became involved with was a scoundrel. I should have spoken up, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to presume, and I’ve regretted it all these years. This time I was determined to speak my mind.”
Before either of them could respond, Mortimer Grell turned and walked away.
Kate stared after him, her lips slightly parted as if she was about to speak. She finally turned to Jake. “You thought it was Mother?”
Jake couldn’t help seeing the sixteen-year-old girl in Kate’s expression. This was the pain he’d hoped to spare her. “It crossed my mind. When Ouzo found the body, I suddenly realized that I never truly believed that Anne would have left you. I wanted to have the facts’ before I had to hurt you.”
“I see.” And Kate did. She saw what a fool she’d been. Always rushing and jumping to conclusions. Always so afraid of being hurt that she hurt herself before anyone else could.
“Come inside and let’s talk,” Jake said.
She checked her watch. There was plenty of time to drive to Denver and get back. She owed Jake at least a talk. She owed herself that much.
Before she could answer, Familiar leaped from the window and ran toward the fire station.
“I think he wants us to talk. Either that or he’s anxious to see Ouzo,” Jake said, a wry grin playing across his face. “We shouldn’t fight a cat that smart.”
She got out of the truck and walked around it, letting Jake lead the way to the back entrance and up the stairs. Familiar darted ahead and disappeared into the bedroom. There was the sound of the dog and cat mewing and barking softly.
“Should I break it up?” Jake asked.
Kate shook her head. “I think Familiar can hold his own. He’ll let us know if he needs help.”
“Coffee?” he asked.
“Sure.” It would buy her some time.
Familiar came from down the hall, a satisfied expression on his face. He rubbed against Kate’s leg once, then curled up in a chair at the table. Ouzo trotted in, stopping beside the table and giving Kate a wag of his tail as he dropped a rolled-up piece of paper at her feet.
Absently, she bent to retrieve it, recognizing the map of the Double J. Apparently Familiar and the dog had been arguing over ownership of it. She put it on the table out of the reach of both of them.
“Jake, I owe you an apology.” She swallowed. “I owe you a lot more than that.”
Jake finished putting the coffee on and took a seat. His brown eyes were filled with what she could only describe as sadness. He reached across the table and picked up her hand. He examined it as if he expected to find some answers there, hidden in the lines.
“Can you tell my future?” she asked. He was so sad that she felt compelled to say something.
His brown gaze lifted to meet hers. “As you’ve probably observed, I’m a lot better at seeing the past I would have spared you this. It’s an old wound reopened.”
Kate gathered herself. “I never understood how Mother could have left me like that I suppose I never will. It’s a door I had to close to survive.”
“I should have trusted you to be strong enough to handle it, Kate. It was a choice—to protect you or to trust you. Maybe I made the wrong decision.”
Kate shook her head. They’d finally come to the crux of the matter, and it was not Jake who was at fault. “It is a matter of trust, you’re right about that. But it’s my problem.” Kate held his gaze. “I’m not as in control as you may think. I don’t plan my actions, Jake. In the past, I’ve reacted. That’s what I’m trying to change. This morning though, I fell back into the same old pattern. I lost my trust in you. I ran.”
“Kate, I’m in love with you. I have been for years. For a long time I was too stubborn to admit it. Now I’m a smarter man, and I know you’re the only woman for me. Long ago I made a mistake with you, one that can’t be undone. But that doesn’t have to be our fate. If we trust each other, we can learn how to avoid hurting each other.”
His touch on her hand was so gentle. Kate wanted to wrap her fingers around his and hold on. There was such strength, such tenderness in his hand. She couldn’t deny her need for him, and that was exactly what frightened her so. “We can’t undo the past,” she said. “No one can. I can’t change who I am.”
“But we don’t have to live in the past.”
“I thought you were the one who wanted to drag it all out and examine it” She gave him a rueful smile. “You almost had me convinced.”
Jake took a breath and increased the pressure on her hand. “What I wanted was to get to a place where we both could quit running from it. I thought the way to do that would be to open it up. Maybe I had the wrong approach.”
Kate considered his words.
Jake brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them lightly. “Tell me what you feel for me. This is the present, and this is a step toward the future.”
Kate felt the panic begin. What she wanted was to snatch her hand away and run. This was going nowhere fast except to heartache. Jake wanted to wallow in feelings. What he didn’t understand was that it was a conflict of emotion that made her so upset. Her body tensed, prepared for flight.
“Don’t do it, Kate,” he said softly,
wrapping his hand around hers. “I can take the truth, whatever it is, just don’t run away and leave me without even that.”
Familiar sat up and looked over the table at her. He abruptly hopped up and went to Kate. “Meow,” he said, rubbing against her shoulder.
“Even the cat is conspiring against me,” Kate said, trying again for a light note and failing miserably. In fifteen years she hadn’t admitted to a single person that she cared. Not deeply. There had been friends and flings and people she genuinely cared about. But no one had gotten close to her, not close enough to threaten. Not since her mother abandoned her and she’d run away from Jake.
“Do you care for me at all?” Jake pressed.
“Perhaps it’s my destiny to be alone.” She couldn’t bear to look at him as she spoke. “I’m not any good at caring. I get scared and I run. And that’s what I’m feeling now. Plain old scared. That makes me hate myself.” She finally lifted her eyes and saw all the passion and compassion in his, as well as a lingering sadness. “I don’t like feeling like a coward. It makes me angry at you when you force me to feel this way. The fear overrides everything else I feel.” He wanted the bitter truth, well he had it. She was a yellow coward. But instead of disappointment or disgust, she saw something else in his face. Complete acceptance, and concern.
“You wouldn’t want to run if you didn’t care,” Jake answered with a tone of satisfaction in his voice.
“What good does that do me?” she asked, her voice getting louder. “I care, Jake. I care more than I ever wanted to. Being with you last night brought back all the ways that I care. I’ve loved you since I was sixteen.” She pulled her hand away and stood up. “What does it mean, though, if right along with all that caring comes a wagon-load of fear so terrible that I can’t bear up under it?”
She stepped back from the table but before she could get away, Familiar launched himself at her. She had no choice but to catch the cat in her arms. Jake remained seated, his body as tense as if it were a coiled spring.
Familiar Fire Page 16
