“Thanks,” I say, picking up the flakey pastry and popping one in my mouth. I grab the remote and turn back on the movie before anyone can say anything else.
Carter and I sit next to one another for the duration of the movie and other than holding hands, we keep things distant. It doesn’t matter though, because what happened before wasn’t because of a deal or revenge. That was real, at least for me. As the movie continues, I glance over at the boy next to me and note the sharp lines of his face, and a look of contentment I’m not sure I’ve ever seen on him before.
I know I need to tell him the truth about what I heard today. I should have already told him, because the stakes just got higher. I don’t want to lose Carter Haines, and I have to decide how far I’ll go to keep him.
28
Carter
I’ve never been this happy and sad for a movie to end in my life. Sad because under the cloak of darkness, everything has changed for me and the girl by my side. That cover allowed us to share our real feelings for one another and I’m terrified once the lights come back on, it will become clear that maybe it was an anomaly—just a heightened, hormonal moment.
But I’m also happy because I really want to talk everything over with Beatrice. Get this all cleared up. I know more than ever that I’m done with this fake relationship. I want her to be my girlfriend—for real.
After we clean up the pizza mess, the cans of soda, and plates of baked goods, I walk to the door. Katherine and Atticus vanish on their own and for once, Bea doesn’t seem to notice or care.
Me either. I’m focused on this girl.
As we stand on the porch she fusses with her shirt, tugging at the hem. “I like that, by the way,” I tell her. Now that I know her better, her clothes look less strange and nerdy. Now they look nerdy and cute.
“Thanks. Norah texted me when they came in.”
She keeps looking anywhere but at me—her nerves amped up. I step forward and touch her chin, tilting her face so she has to look at me.
“I had a good time tonight,” I say.
“Me too.”
“The weird thing is that I always have a good time with you.”
She nods and bites her bottom lip. “It is weird.”
“I want to keep spending time with you, Clarke, and not for pretend. For real.”
Her eyes are so green, so clear and pure. I think about what my dad said about being a gentleman. That’s why I’d stopped her earlier on the couch. I want to be that good guy. For Bea.
“I like you, Carter, but I think you knew that.”
“I didn’t.” I can’t help the smile tugging at my lips. “Okay, I hoped.”
“But this thing between us kind of freaks me out.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re Carter Haines. The popular bad boy who has hot girls in tiny bikinis throwing themselves at him all day and people inviting him to parties all the time. I wear shirts with nerdy logos and I hang out at Davie's or the comic book shop.” She tries to look down but I don’t let her. “You’re experienced and I’m really, really not.”
I spread my hand behind her neck and lower my forehead to hers. “First of all, I told you that bad boy image isn’t really true. Second, I’ve seen you in a bathing suit, Clarke, and you’ve got nothing to worry about.” She blushes and I grin. “Third, parties are overrated—you’ve witnessed it first-hand. Your nerdy shirts are hot and Davie's has the best hamburgers in town.” I know none of those are the big ones for her. I can sense it, so I add, “Your lack of experience makes you more special. It means there are no expectations on either of us. This is new for me as well, and I like that.”
“So what does this mean?”
“It means I want to date you, Bea, for real.” What she doesn’t know is that I’ve never said that to anyone else. I wasn’t lying when I said this is new for me, too. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
She swallows nervously but nods and replies, “Yes.”
My heart beats erratically, moving in a rhythm I’ve never experienced before. I dip my head to capture her lips, wanting to seal this agreement not with pen and paper like before, but more intimately, more personally, more…us.
The kiss is sweet, she’s sweet, and I end it way sooner than I’d like, telling her I’ll see her in the morning.
I’m still flying the next day and I try to get out of the house before my dad catches me, but he’s already sitting at the bar in the kitchen when I come down for work, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper.
“Ready for the meet tonight?”
I reach for the juice in the refrigerator and shrug. “It’s just summer league.”
“All competitions are an opportunity to get a little better for the next one. It’s a learning experience.”
I fill a to-go cup with the juice and grab a banana off the counter. “Sure then, I’m ready.”
“How was last night? You have fun?”
I peel the banana and take a bite. “We watched a movie.”
He folds up the paper. “You know I’m surprised you're spending time with the Clarke kids.”
“Oh really?” I say around a mouthful.
“They’re not your normal type of friends—especially the girl.”
“Beatrice,” I add for no reason. “And yeah, I guess she’s not.”
“So maybe some of what Coach Adams and I have been drilling in your head has taken root.”
Of course, this has to be about him. About my future. It can’t ever just be about me and what makes me happy.
“Although…” I toss the peel in the garbage and wait for it. Even doing what he wants isn’t going to be right. Sure enough, the next thing out of his mouth is, “It’s probably best not to settle down with one girl right now. Not with your senior year coming up and focusing on colleges.”
I lean against the counter, totally confused. “So you don’t want me to commit to the innocent, sweet girl next door and instead, date around?”
“I want you to focus on swimming,” his eyes shift. “And your obligations.”
“What do you think I’ve been doing all summer? I train and I work. I’m skipping parties. I can pass any drug test you give me.” I shake my head. “I’ve even stopped smoking. Nothing makes you happy.”
“I am happy you’re settling down, but I just think you should keep your head down and focused on your goals. Girls have a way of distracting from that as much or more than anything else.”
I laugh darkly. “Is that what my mom was? A distraction? Good to know that’s why you ghosted her.” I grab my bag off the counter and add before he can respond, “I think you should mind your own business and stay out of my personal affairs. I’ll swim like you want. I’ll train and compete, but who I date is off limits.”
“You don’t know what went on between me and your mother.”
“You’re right. I don’t. She never told me and you don’t want to talk about it, either.”
He sighs. “If you were at the boarding school, none of this would be a problem.”
“Seriously? Is that your response to me asking questions? Sending me away? I’m doing everything you asked. Working this country club job, not partying, not getting in trouble, dating the 'right' kind of girl, and you’re still not happy.” I walk toward the door. “Whatever.”
“Carter,” he calls, annoyance in his tone, “don’t walk out in the middle of a conversation.”
“I’m done talking.”
I head out the front door and slam it behind me. Bea is already at the car. Her smile fades when she hears the loud bang and irritated look on my face. “Hey, everything okay?”
I walk right to her and pull her to me, kissing her on the lips. Her eyes widen in surprise. “Better now that I get to see you before work.”
She looks over my shoulder and I glance back, unsurprised to see my dad on the porch. I open the door for Bea and she gets in. On my way to the driver’s side, he calls out, “See you tonight!”
“Your dad is coming to the meet tonight?” she asks as I crank the engine.
“Apparently.”
I feel her eyes on me. As soon as I back out of the driveway and get on the road, I wrap my hand in hers. “Did something happen?”
“I don’t know. He’s just being weird.” I bring the back of her hand to my mouth and kiss the smooth skin. “One minute he’s all up in my business—telling me how to behave, who to date, when to swim, and the next he’s gone—off on another business trip.”
She raises an eyebrow. “He’s telling you who to date?”
I glance her way. “I told him about you.”
“You did?” she sounds very surprised.
“Yeah, I told you last night. I want you to be my girl. I don’t care who knows.” She shifts in the seat next and looks out the window. “Is that a problem?”
“No! Of course not. I just…”
“What?”
“I just want to be careful at work. I don’t want either of us to get in trouble for spending too much time together or anything.”
Bea’s evasiveness bothers me the rest of the way to work. There’s something she’s not telling me, or rather, she doesn’t want to admit. Maybe she’s embarrassed by me. After all, I do have a reputation for not making great decisions. The drugs and partying. I’m on probation at work. Although, we’ve been flirting and dancing around one another at work for weeks, but that could be chalked up to just that—flirting.
I park the car and look at her. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Second thoughts?”
“What?” she asks, her face panicked. “No. Absolutely not. I just don’t want either of us to get fired or worse, you get sent to boarding school.” The worry smooths on her forehead. “I’ve only got one more week of camp. After that it won’t matter anymore.”
She’s right. I know Erin is looking for any reason to get rid of me and my dad is looking for any excuse to get me out of the house. I take a deep breath. “Thanks for keeping me straight.”
She laughs and places her hand on the door latch. “You don’t need me to keep you straight, Carter. You’re a good guy. Smart, talented, sweet.”
I grab her before she can leave the car. “If you don’t want me declaring my affection for you in public, you probably should stop saying things like that.”
I kiss her one last time, like I’ve wanted to since I got in the car, engulfed in her scent and presence. Her lips are hot and taste like mint and I really hate it when she pushes me away, telling me we’re going to be late.
We walk across the parking lot together and I feel a sense of ease just being with this girl, and something else I’ve never had before: contentment.
29
Bea
I’m not sure why I feel so different today. As far as the rest of the world knows, Carter Haines and I have been dating for weeks. But now he is my real boyfriend and it’s like my world has turned upside down. The strangest thing is that I’d like to shout it from the rooftops, make an announcement over the loud speaker, claim him for the world to see, but no one cares. This is old news.
To everyone but me.
That little detail doesn’t keep the smile off my face.
It’s the first sunny day all week and the kids are bouncing off the walls. By the time we get to free swim, they’re about to burst. Maria and I wrangle them into the locker rooms and wait outside. I lean against the wall, eyes focused on the boy across the pool deck. He winks when he sees me.
Swoon.
“Okay, what’s going on with you two?”
“Huh?” I ask, dragging my eyes away from Carter. He’s using that giant net to skim some debris out of the pool and it makes his arm muscles do magnificent things. “What do you mean?”
“You and hottie McLifeguard over there. I know you two have been building up to something, but the tension is off the charts today. Plus you’ve been grinning all goofy all day.”
“What? I smile.” I force a nonchalant expression. “And there’s nothing going on, you know, more than usual.”
Her eyes skip behind me and I turn. Sabrina and her friends walk in the side gate. She’s wearing the blue bikini again and a pair of dark shades. It’s impossible to tell if she’s watching him, but if I had to guess, I’d say she’s focused like a cheetah on a gazelle. Carter walks around the pool, maneuvering the pole and net, completely oblivious that he’s about to become dinner. Anxiety replaces the elation from before. I was stupid not to tell him about her threats. What was I thinking?
She passes me and Maria heading into the locker room. Her voice echoes off the door, “Today’s the day, girls. I’ve decided it’s now or never.”
Oh no. No, no.
A whistle blows and I look over, seeing Katherine in the guard chair. Suddenly I really need my best friend.
“I need to go tell Katherine something.”
Maria’s eyebrows raise. “You’re talking to her again?”
“It’s a long story that involves a photo of Dean Turner and too much beer. But yeah, we’re talking again. I’ll be right back.”
I quickly walk across the pool deck, feeling several pairs of eyes on me. Carter, Sabrina, Maria. Katherine watches me as I approach, confusion on her face—yeah, we’re speaking again, but not much.
“I need to talk to you.”
She looks around the pool. It’s packed and all the campers are spilling out of the locker room. Erin is just inside the office. “Now?”
I nod. “It’s important. It’s about Carter.”
She glances at the clock. “Adult swim starts in ten minutes. Can it wait until then?”
I want to say no but Sabrina and her friends are strolling over to the deep end, passing Carter along the way. I hear her say his name and he looks up and gives her a polite smile. It’s not enough.
Am I the only girl in the world that needs his boyfriend to flirt with another girl? I think the answer is yes.
Katherine says, “Are you worried about Carter and Sabrina? Because he’s been turning her down all summer. I don’t think you need to be jealous.”
“I’m not jealous,” I say in a low voice. “I’m worried—it’s complicated, but the end result is Carter may lose his job and if he does, I’ll lose him.”
“Bea,” she says, keeping her eyes on the pool, “why would he lose his job?” She glances back at Erin. “Did she say something?”
“It’s not about that. It’s about Sabrina, and Carter’s record, and his father, and…” I realize in that moment how this isn’t about me. It’s about Carter and him needing a home and his dad.
With startling clarity, I know what I need to do.
“Never mind,” I say to Katherine. “I’m just being weird.”
But I’m not being weird. I’m facing reality. Carter and I were never going to work. Like Maria said, it’s summer. Anything goes. This was a stupid, silly fling created for revenge. It’s time to end it.
My stomach churns as the next five minutes pass. During that time Carter continues to clean the side of the pool and Sabrina chit-chats with him. I’m ready when Katherine blows the whistle for adult swim.
“Wish me luck,” I mutter to Maria, who simply watches me with a look of concern.
I steel my nerves and walk across the pool, knowing this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. As I get closer I hear Sabrina say, “Maybe we can hang out tonight. There’s a bonfire down at McKoy beach.”
He glances at me walking over, eyes lighting up. “I’ve got a swim meet.”
“Well, I could come see you, then we could go together. You know those don’t really get going until later.”
I force myself not to look at his soulful eyes, his sweet lips, or anything else because he’s so gorgeous no sane girl that’s had a shot with Carter Haines would do what I’m about to do. “Yeah, I don’t think—”
“You should go,” I say, the words sticking in my throat. “To the beach party. With Sabrina.”
He frowns. Sabri
na lowers her sunglasses, blue eyes darting between us. Carter seems so stunned he doesn’t speak. So I continue, “You should see him swim, Sabrina, it’s really impressive. I can see why people think he’s going to the Olympics.” I touch his arm. “And after the meet you guys can go blow off some steam.”
“What about you?” he asks, eyes narrowed.
“Oh you know me, I’ll be at home, watching YouTube videos with dancing cats. Like any other night.” One of Sabrina’s friends snorts and then laughs about that. “You guys have fun.”
“Great,” Sabrina says, beaming at Carter. His eyebrows are furrowed but I don’t look him in the eye. I can’t bear to see the anger and maybe hurt.
“Bea,” he says, but I look over his shoulder and see Erin walking our way. I turn on my heel and head back to the pavilion.
My heart is hammering so hard I’m not sure I actually said all of that. I can barely believe I choked out the words, but I did, and I keep it together, longer than I thought I could, watching the kids play, listening to the music echo across the pool deck, ignoring Maria and Katherine’s concerned looks. Avoiding Carter’s hard stare.
Because there’s one last thing I have to do.
When Sabrina goes to the snack bar to get a drink, I slip away from the group and say, “The only reason Carter’s been pushing back on you this summer is because he’s not allowed to flirt with club members or he’ll get fired.”
Her lips curve cruelly. “What about you?”
“It was a joke. A game. No one would ever believe that Carter and I were really dating anyway.” I shrug, hating how bad it already hurts. “Just…he’s actually a nice guy. And he needs this job. Don’t ruin it for him.”
She laughs. “I don’t need you telling me how to handle Carter Haines.”
I shrug and walk away, knowing I’ve done what I can to protect him—even while throwing him to the wolves.
30
Carter
When the pool closes for the afternoon to get ready for the swim meet, I start toward the parking lot looking for Beatrice. I don’t see her but head toward Atticus’ car. He shows up five minutes later, sweaty and looking worn out from his day.
Bea and the Bad Boy: Young Adult Sweet Romance (Love in Ocean Grove Book 3) Page 14
