“Wait,” he says, stepping closer towards me. “I want to apologize for what I said to you last weekend. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“You didn’t,” I lie. “I guess I might have crossed the line too. I’m sorry.”
“So we can be civil again?”
“Sure.”
“We’re calling it a truce?”
“Why not… We’ll see some other time. I have to go. Have a good night.”
I walk away, and I can feel his eyes on me, but I never turn to look.
* * *
She looks beautiful tonight, but I’m certain since I last saw her, she’s lost a few pounds. I didn’t expect her to be so polite. For a short second, her rude mouth did make its presence known, but that didn’t last very long. I’m glad I got the opportunity to clear up the bad air between us.
It is good to see her out with her brother. He must be. He looks like a male version of her but taller with broader shoulders. They share the same hazel eyes. I wonder if I would have seen what seems to be the obvious resemblance had Dad not told me that he was with her. I shrug off the thought.
I suppose over here she can live a somewhat normal life and not be bothered by the media who seems obsessed with her case back home in San Francisco.
While I’m sorry that Howard’s drunken sister-in-law ruined that hot dress she was wearing, it gave me an opportunity to speak to her. Even if it was only for a second, for a short period of time, I got to see her. Her lovely eyes seemed hollow and filled with sorrow. I wish I could help her.
* * *
“I’m sorry about your dress,” Bobby says as we back out of the parking space.
“It will be fine either way. It’s just a dress, one of my favorite dresses, but a dress nevertheless. Tomorrow, I’ll take it to the cleaners and see if they can do anything about it.”
“The old Jada would have been furious.”
“These days I have much bigger fish to fry… I try not to sweat the small stuff.”
“Good attitude. So what did he say?”
I know he’s talking about Jonathan, but I play dumb.
“He who?”
“Mr. Kole.”
“He apologized. He wanted to pay for my dry cleaning.”
“And what did you say?”
“I told him it wasn’t necessary.”
“That’s all?”
“Well, I also told him if he really wanted to help, he should get his drunken friend under control or he’d be paying a lot of cleaning bills by the end of the night.”
“You couldn’t stop yourself from being mean?”
“What can I say—he brings out the worst in me.” I don’t tell him I ended the conversation on a polite note.
“Did you tell him I’m your brother?”
“No. Why?”
“You’re such a tease. You’re going to leave the poor guy wondering all night long.”
“I doubt he’ll be wondering about anything. My personal life is all over the place. In any case, he knows I just got out of a relationship.”
“How?”
“I might have mentioned something about it when he was trying to pull rank on me.”
Bobby laughs. “What did you tell him?”
“I may be paraphrasing, but I told him, ‘Do you want to know who I am? I’m a woman who just caught her fiancé fucking her best friend, so forgive me if I’m not in a sentimental mood.’”
“You didn’t.”
“I sure did.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you have serious bitch potential?”
“No. But I’ll take that as a compliment. In my business, sometimes it’s necessary.”
“Were you like that with Richard?” He quickly gasps. “Jada, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be afraid to mention his name. It is what it is. I’m facing this, don’t worry. To answer your question, I think he saw that side of me the last time I saw him.”
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
“I feel sorry for his family. I’ll get over him. They’ll probably never get past this. I hate to admit this, and I won’t ever admit this to anyone else, but I think because he’s dead, and probably because of the way he died, I’m not so angry with him anymore. I guess I will always be hurt by what he and Koto did, but I feel like I’m letting this go.”
He holds my hand as I talk.
“I wish I didn’t have to find out any more details about him and Koto, but I suspect sooner or later, it will all come out. I’m afraid then I’ll be angry with a dead man, and I won’t have any resolve. When I walked in on them, I was angry, and I dealt with it at that moment. He knew how I felt. However, any new details that come out… I don’t know.” I sigh.
“I can only imagine how difficult this has been for you.”
“It’s been easier because you’re here. I haven’t cried for more than fifteen minutes at a time since you arrived.”
“I’m worried about you. Are you going to be okay when I leave?”
“I’ll have to be. I think I might go back to San Francisco for a while, but I like it here. Until this is over, I might split my time between here and there.”
“Are you sure you want to go back there?”
“No.”
“Jada, over here, you’re sheltered from the harsh reality of this situation. You will be confronted with it every minute you spend in San Francisco.”
“You don’t think I should go?”
“If I had my way, I’d keep you away. But I understand that you have a business to run, and at some point, you have to face reality.”
He exhales, and it’s probably selfish of me, but for the first time, I realize how difficult this situation must be for him as well.
We’ve told our mom a little, but she’s mostly unaware of how serious the situation has become. I realize now how much hurt this situation has the potential to create for my family. I close my eyes and lean back. I wish this situation would go away.
I wake to a silent house. Very unusual for Bobby. He is usually up at dawn. I peek into the garage, and my car is gone; perhaps he had to run into town. I check my email and see a message from Dr. Torrez. I eagerly open it. I sigh in relief. Apart from a mild yeast infection, all seems well. I forward Bobby the message and ask him to pick up the prescription.
Today is his last full day here. After some research online, I think I’ll invite my brother to go horseback riding at Emerald Bay. The last time we did that together, we were kids. I send him a text and he’s game, so I make the reservation and head to the bathroom to get ready.
He returns home an hour later with some bags in hand but says we can talk about their contents upon our return.
It is a perfect day for riding; it’s in the low seventies and the azure skies are endless. It must have snowed in the higher elevations, because snow tops the mountains that look down upon us. All the signs that winter is near. We spend the day riding along nature trails and through green pastures and meadows, but the highlight is looking down on Emerald Bay. There’s a beautiful tiny island called Fannette Island. It jets out of the cobalt blue waters, and the snowcapped mountains are beyond. We arrive in broad daylight but stay and chat as the sun starts its descent.
Throughout the day, I’ve taken photos, but I know some of my most beautiful will be from up here. We head back to base wanting to make it home before nightfall.
On the drive back home, I realize that today was supposed to be my wedding day. The beginning of my happily ever after, but it seems like the complete opposite—the early beginnings of an enormous nightmare.
We pick up some food for dinner before heading home. I feel edgy, and I know it’s because I am starting to get anxious about Bobby’s exit. We enjoy what will be our last dinner together. A fabulous pizza topped with green peppers, onions, mushrooms, Italian sausage, and of course, for me no pizza is complete without pineapple.
After dinner, Bobby tells me he took my dress to
the cleaners and left it there, but they weren’t hopeful. I’ll see if I’m lucky in a few days.
In the bags he brought home earlier are two cell phones that the SFPD know nothing about, just in case they’ve tapped my phone. One is for him and the other is for me. At least once it rings, I will always know who’s calling. I’ll call it my Bobbyphone. In another is my medication. In the third is a gift-wrapped box. I have no clue what it is. He tells me I can open it tomorrow after I return from dropping him off at the airport.
Brunch the next day is uneventful and void of Jonathan Kole. I’ve been quiet since I woke up, and although I sit with food spread out on the table in front me, I have zero appetite.
“You’re not going to force me to keep tabs on you to make sure you eat, are you?”
I force a smile. “Of course not. You’re going to be overwhelmed with your cases and engagement plans, then wedding plans. You won’t even remember.”
“She hasn’t said yes yet.”
“She will.”
I’m not going to eat, at least not right now. I’ll get them to box the rest of the food.
We drive to the airport in complete silence. Since Bobby’s not on a commercial flight, he will go through security, get on the jet, and within minutes, he’ll be in the air. As we approach the airport, he tells me I can drop him off at the terminal, but even though he’ll be in the air within a matter of minutes, I want to squeeze in the most amount of time I can with him. I park the car and walk him to the gate.
I hope for a long security check line, but when we arrive, two people are in front of him. He gives me this sad look, and I realize this goodbye must be hard for him too. It has never been this difficult before, but I suppose we’ve never had to say goodbye under such difficult circumstances.
One person is left, and he has to go through the normal security ritual—remove shoes, belt, things in your pockets, etcetera. I don’t want to, but I know it’s time, and as he wraps his arms around me, I can’t stop the tears from falling.
“Don’t cry, Sweetie. It’s going to be okay. I’m just a phone call away if you need me.”
“I know,” I whisper. “I love you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
“I love you too,” he says then kisses me on my forehead. “Go ahead. I’ll be okay from here. I’ll call you…”
I look at him and nod but can’t find any words. I slowly walk to the car, and by the time I turn around, he’s gone.
I get into the car; my eyes burn from all my tears. I’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes, and I still can’t stop. Then I see the jet taxiing unto the small runway strip. Five minutes later, the jet is in the air. He’s gone.
I sit, my head leaning back into my seat. I close my eyes and try not the think of what’s going on in my life. I try not to remember what I walked in on, I try not to remember Ian telling me Richard was dead, I try not to remember the police thinking I’m responsible for his murder, and again the tears come tumbling down.
The warmth on my face has changed; it feels like someone is blocking my sun. I open my eyes and somebody’s staring down at me. After my eyes readjust, I recognize him—Jonathan. I quickly wipe away my tears. I want to be left alone, but he leaves me with no choice. He refuses to leave. I crack my window open.
“Jada, are you alright?”
I look at him and I nod, but I suspect my face tells a different story.
“I’m fine,” I manage to say. “I want to be alone.”
“You’re in no condition to be left alone.”
I look at him, and I completely break down. I didn’t realize my doors were unlocked until he opens the door and crouches in front of me.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, placing his hands over mine.
I know I can’t trust him. So much is wrong right now. The only thing I can say is, “My brother left.”
“But you’ll see him again.”
I know he’s right, but those are eleven-days-of-absolute-misery tears. I’m sure he knows what’s going on. He can figure this out for himself.
“I’m going to be fine. I just need to be alone,” I respond, trying hard to put up a valiant front.
“You’re not fine. I can’t leave you here like this. I’ll drive you home. My brother can follow us in my car.”
“No. That’s not a good idea.”
“Let me help you.”
“I am not your responsibility. Now please leave.”
“If you prefer, I can call the police and have them come drive you, but I will not let you drive to your house like this.”
I stare at him. I feel like I have to make a decision one way or another. I hesitate. Reluctantly, I give in. After a while, I finally relinquish my seat to him and slip into the passenger seat. He walks over to his car and speaks to his brother. Moments later, we drive down Lincoln Highway in silence.
I wonder what Bobby would say if he found out about this. My tears have ceased. I feel something has changed between Jonathan and me, but I can’t articulate what it is. I try to figure out what I will say when we arrive at the house. I wonder if I should invite him in. I then remember all the stuff left on the coffee table—the new cell phone box and the SIM card. I can’t allow him to see anything that I want kept from the police. I have to view him and the police as the same entity. Them, against me.
Perhaps I should thank him outside and let it be. Starting a relationship of any kind with Jonathan Kole is something I should never entertain. It would only end in disaster. It’s already bad enough as it is. This has the potential to put father against son, and that would put some sort of strain on even the best relationship.
We pull into my driveway. I open the garage door, and he pulls in and switches off the vehicle. His brother follows closely behind.
He turns and looks sadly at me. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine. Thank you for doing this.”
He covers my hand with his. “It will be okay,” he says, gazing at me.
I’m not sure at this point if he’s talking about Bobby’s departure or the disaster I face. I fake a smile but say nothing. There is an awkward silence between us, and the car is suddenly filled with an unusual intense energy. I don’t know how else to explain it. His hand tightens over mine, and my mind starts to run wild. I see him kissing me… his hands roam over my body…
I realize that I have to stop whatever this thing is that’s developing. I pull my hand away and reach for the bag of food on the back seat of the car. As I do, he leans over, places his hand gently on my profile, and kisses me softly on my cheek. A bolt of energy runs through my body, and then I realize that I want to kiss him—kiss-him-on-the-lips type of kiss. Out of nowhere, Bobby’s voice haunts me, he likes you and I’m certain you like him too.
This is not happening. I jolt away from him.
“I have to go,” I finally say then anxiously open the door.
He steps out of the car and shuts the door. He fishes a card out of his pocket then says, “Please call me if you need anything.”
Why? So you can help build a case against me.
“Look, Jonathan, I appreciate you doing this. However, you and I both know the reasons we should stay as far away from each other as humanly possible. Keep your card. There is no reason that we should ever need to be in touch with each other again.”
Before he has a chance to respond, I enter the house as quickly as possible. Behind closed doors, I peek through the window in time to see him getting into the driver’s seat of his car while his brother slides into the passenger side. I watch him drive away.
* * *
Thank God I was at the airport to drop off Howard and his family. I wonder if Jada would have been okay. Seeing her upset tore me up inside. Not being able to console her was even worse. I so badly wanted to take her in my arms and make her problems go away, help her feel secure and safe, but I couldn’t. She wouldn’t allow me to.
Then there would be the obvious issue of controlling what
I did and felt in case one day we should end up on opposite sides of the courtroom.
I’m so attracted to her, and I sense that she is to me too, but for obvious reasons, she doesn’t trust me. She knows she can’t.
For a minute, in that car, I was certain that she was going to kiss me—not the kind of kiss I brushed past her cheek. She looked at me with pure want… desire… then she pulled away. After, she looked surprised, somewhat confused, and most of all, scared.
As luscious as that kiss might sound right now, I’m not sure that’s what I’d want. It would be fine if I thought of her in a fuck-buddy-sort-of-way, but I don’t. I’d want more with her.
In the same token, I know she’s vulnerable, and I don’t want to be that guy that she turns to help her get over her ex—the rebound guy. It looks like if I have any desire to want any more with her, the best thing I can do over the next few months is stay away from her. It will give her time to get over her ex, and hopefully, the SFPD will find the true perpetrator of this crime, who I’ll be more than happy to send off to prison.
* * *
What just happened? What is happening to me? I was supposedly deeply in love with a man, and now, I find myself drawn to another within days of his death. A man I have absolutely no business being drawn to. My world is spinning around me, and this is just another unforeseen issue added to the mix. I am completely overwhelmed. I’ve never been so confused in my life. I feel like I’m this close from going off the deep end. At this point, I’m running out of answers. I don’t understand any of this, and more importantly, I don’t know how to fix it.
I place the food in the refrigerator then head to the living room. I switch on the fireplace and burn the box and everything associated with the phone, except of course the phone itself. All that is left is my medication and the gift from Bobby. I slowly tear away the wrapping and inside are a few picture frames—three. One has a picture of us together that we took on the boat tour of Lake Tahoe, another of us together with my parents days before Daddy died, and one with him alone. The card attached reads:
Love, Lies & The D.A. Page 7
