“I came to return them from their walk. They’ve been fed, so they’re all set for today.”
I casually slip off the counter. I’m not sure I can handle those overwhelming emotions that I’m going through. I say goodbye to Delores and head up to my room. As I walk away, I hear them exchange a few words, and then the door closes. I cuddle, wrapped up with the pillows on my bed.
What was I thinking coming here? Why have I put myself in this agonizing situation?
Charles was so right about so many things he said to Jonathan about me. I am vulnerable. Especially to Jonathan, and I don’t know why.
There is a gentle knock on my door.
“Jada.”
“Yes,” I answer. My head is still against my pillow. My back is towards him so he can’t see my face.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I can’t answer. Then I feel his weight climbing onto the bed beside me. He places his palm on my hip, caressing me gently.
“You can trust me. I want you to feel comfortable telling me what’s on your mind.”
“I don’t think I’m ready,” I say, turning to face him.
“Ready for what?”
“It’s too soon to become so involved.”
“That’s fine.”
“I realize I’m probably sending you mixed signals, and I’m sorry. It’s a bit difficult to be straight with you when I don’t even understand what’s going on with me.”
“I understand. Do you want to talk about it?”
I exhale. “I need to have sex… My body needs it… But I’m not sure that my mind or my heart can handle it.”
“Then you should wait. We shouldn’t be intimate until you’re ready.”
“I like you—a lot. I don’t want you to be my rebound guy. I’m so afraid that if this goes further, I will screw up… this. That I’ll ruin this.”
“I don’t want you to worry about any of that. You don’t need to be concerned with these issues right now. Look, I invited you here because I enjoy being with you. I’m not going to deny that I have extremely deep feelings for you. But this trip wasn’t meant to pressure you into having sex with me. That’s not what this is about.”
“What is it about?”
“I missed you. Jada, you were there for me last week in a way no one ever has. Not just for me, but my family. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted more of that. I wanted more alone time with you, where we didn’t have to be worried about the courts, or the media, or nosy family or friends. I wanted to be here alone with you. This isn’t about sex.”
“I did not necessarily think that. I wasn’t sure what your expectations were.”
“All I expect is that you’ll be honest with me about how you feel. And you’ve done that.”
“The last few months have been so overwhelming. I guess what scares me, or what I don’t understand, is how I could have developed those feelings for you within days of my breakup.
Bobby told me that I liked you that night when we saw you at dinner. I was so angry with him for suggesting that, but the next day, when you saw me and drove me home from the airport, when you kissed me in the garage… I wanted to kiss you back… I wanted more… I could no longer deny how I felt, but I feel guilty about it.
I find myself having these feelings for you that I never had for Richard. These feelings for you scare the hell out of me.”
He strokes my profile with his finger.
“Jada. I don’t want you to worry about a thing. It will be fine. I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything you’re not ready for.” He kisses me gently on my lips. “Why don’t we head out? Maybe go watch a movie instead of settling for manual labor.”
“I haven’t gone out to watch a movie in months. Probably close to a year.”
“Then this would be the perfect time to go. What movies do you enjoy?”
“No horrors, no sci fi.”
“Well, throw on some clothes. I’ll check to see what’s showing.”
It was the perfect way to spend the afternoon. We end up watching two movies in a mostly empty cinema. I suppose that most people will be coming to watch the later evening shows. They’re probably all out skiing. It’s about six in the evening when we leave the cinema. After a light dinner at my favorite café, we head home for coffee and dessert.
I’m making the coffee and Johnny’s slicing some cake when there’s a knock on the front door.
“Who the hell could that be? Nobody except Delores ever comes here, and she’d use the kitchen door.”
“Well, you better go check.”
He heads out of my view to answer the door while I finish preparing dessert. I then take the tray to the coffee table in the living room.
It’s not long before I hear his voice along with that of a woman, and as I look behind me, I see Sophie at the door.
God. What is she doing here?
“Look, you can’t be here. You have to leave,” he says.
She pushes her way past him and walks into the house. Midway down the foyer, she stills when she sees me.
This is uncomfortable. I’m not sure what I should do. Jonathan looks furious. His temple is going at it again.
He follows her in and walks past her towards me.
“Maybe I should give you two some time alone,” I say quietly.
“I’m sorry about this, Jada,” he says as I walk away.
I head up the stairs, and I’m not even completely out of sight when I hear him.
“You’re out of control. If you don’t leave here, I’ll have the police throw you out.”
“What’s she doing here?”
That statement grabs my attention, and I stop to listen.
“That is none of your business. Jada is off-limits. You leave her out of this.”
“Please… can we try again?”
“You and I were never a we…” and that’s the last I hear before I close the door behind me.
I take a long shower and curl up in bed reading a book. It’s a cold night, and as I look outside, I realize it’s snowing lightly. It’s been fifteen minutes since I came up to the bedroom. I finally hear the front door shut.
That situation completely killed the mood for both of us, so we decide to turn in early to our separate rooms. I shut off the lights and lie in bed for over an hour. I have a splitting headache, and I can’t seem to fall asleep. I head downstairs to make myself a cup of tea.
While I walk through the living room, Micky and Maggie follow me into the kitchen area and circle my feet while I wait for the water to boil. Not being able to sleep left my mind wandering, and I think of all the difficulties I’ll need to overcome in the following weeks.
I got an email from Joshua this evening telling me my pretrial hearing would be in about eight weeks. I’m hoping the FBI will uncover some new evidence before then and get this case thrown out.
I suppose, at some point, I have to face the real possibility that I could go to prison for this. What will happen with my business? How will this affect my mom and Bobby? Who could I entrust Bleu to?
I search through the medicine cabinet for some painkillers, and thankfully, I find some.
I curl up by the window seat and the dogs follow suit. I wonder if they are like that with everyone. How often does Jonathan bring women here, anyway? I’m sure there are plenty of women he could bring here if all he wanted was sex…
The light in the mezzanine comes on. It looks like I might have woken him.
“Hey. You okay?” he asks, descending the stairs wearing a pair of shorts.
“I’m sorry I woke you. I couldn’t sleep, and I have a headache. I came to make some tea.”
He sits next to me. He’s leaning against the window seat wall and pulls me towards him, my back to his front. I sit between his arms and legs.
“Did you take something for that headache?”
“I did. Thanks.”
“Jada, I’m so sorry about Sophie.”
“It’s not your fau
lt, don’t worry.”
“Is that what’s on your mind?”
I chuckle. “Sophie and her antics are the least of my worries.”
“I can’t believe she’d sink that low. I’ve known her for years. I had to cut her off.”
“How long were you sleeping with her?”
“Two… three months.”
You must be awesome in bed to have that kind of effect on her.
“She’s crazy.”
“When I ended it six months ago, she was fine. She only started behaving this way when she saw us together.”
“Don’t worry about me where Sophie is concerned. I can handle myself. Once she doesn’t come near me, it will all work out.”
“So what’s bothering you?”
“So much… too much. I don’t need to be stressing you with my issues. You have enough to deal with, especially after the night you’ve had.”
“Stop being silly,” he says as he rakes his fingers through my hair.
“I think I need to start to seriously consider what’s going to happen with my life and business if things don’t go my way. I got an email from Joshua tonight. My hearing is in eight weeks.”
“You have to think positive. You have to believe that this will work out.”
“I understand that, but if things don’t, I have to plan what will happen to my family and my business. I could be going to prison for the rest of my life.”
“Jada, I don’t want to hear you talking like that. I will not let that happen.”
“Exactly how would you stop it? There’s nothing you can do.”
“If I have to resign from my office as DA to defend you in court myself, I will.”
His words shock me. I turn to face him.
“Are you insane? I would never allow you to do that.”
“Trust me when I tell you I will. If it gets to the point where this has to go to trial, I will do exactly that.”
“I care about you too much to let you ruin your career for me.”
“Nothing is more important than you staying out of prison. I won’t let you go to prison for a crime you didn’t commit. My career will go on past it…”
I can’t believe what I am hearing. I can’t believe he would even consider doing this for me. I cup his face in my hands and kiss him deeply on the lips. He responds, circling me in his arms. Goose bumps suddenly cover my skin.
“Cold?”
I nod.
He walks me over to the sofa then turns on the fireplace. There, he draws me toward him. We lie down, covered with a thick throw. I am starting to realize that both our feelings are very profound; maybe I’ve been overthinking all this… I stop, close my eyes, and in his arms, I sleep.
I wake close to noon the following day. I barely notice the time because all the windows are outfitted with very well-hidden black-out electronic blinds. Jonathan must have lowered them after I fell asleep. He is still fast asleep beside me.
I suppose we’ll be heading back to San Francisco today. I’m not looking forward to that. I like being in Lake Tahoe with him, away from all the reminders of my true life. Perhaps I’ll get in my car and head to Big Sur once we return. Although, as much as I don’t want to, the plus side of staying in San Fran is that I will at least be able to see Jonathan during the week. At a time when I don’t have any friends close by that I trust, I am grateful to have him in my life.
His arms tighten around me, and he kisses me on my neck.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks.
“How do you know I’m awake?”
“Your breathing is different.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“You’re not even up and about yet, and already your mind is working overtime. What’s up?”
“I was thinking that we’d be heading back today. I’m not looking forward to that.”
“Unfortunately, it’s back to reality.”
“Did you want to return in one vehicle, or do you want to get the dogs and both vehicles there?”
“Would you mind driving the car back?”
“You mean you’d let me drive your precious Bentley all the way to San Francisco?”
“According to someone I know… it’s just a bloody car.”
I laugh at his response.
Hours later, after a quick lunch, I follow him all the way home. I pull into the parking space in his two-car garage, and he closes the garage door before I get out. This series of coordinated events reminds me of why I chose not to stay here in San Francisco. At least anywhere else I can live a normal life. I can visit restaurants and leave my home. For now, I’m confined to my penthouse and worry about reporters or my follower tracking my every move.
I haven’t been inside his San Francisco home. I help him with his luggage, and the dogs lead the way up through the indoor staircase.
It’s beautiful, clean, and contemporary. He gives me a quick tour of his home. It’s much smaller than his Lake Tahoe house. I suppose no family comes over for long weekends as they would there. A very modern spiral staircase is the centerpiece of the house. It leads to the master bedroom and guest room, and his home office upstairs. All the rooms feature large oversized windows overlooking views very similar to Jonathan’s family home. Maggie and Micky seem to have an affinity for spectacular views. They occupy their seats by the windows in the great room.
I lie on his bed in his room, perusing through a magazine while he unpacks.
“I’ve been trying to make a decision about where I should stay over the coming weeks.”
“Did you change your mind about Big Sur?”
“Not really, but I’ll not get to see you if I go.”
“I can come on the weekend,” he says.
“That would be great. You can even bring the dogs.”
“I’m concerned about you being alone, though, especially since you’ll be in a house all by yourself.”
“It has a security system.”
“How are you with dogs?”
“Great. I had three growing up.”
“I think I’d feel better if you took them with you since you’ll be alone.”
“Won’t you miss them?”
“I will, but your safety is more important. They’ll be very protective of you… They can get very vicious.”
“Is that really necessary?”
“You want me to remind you of the last few months as your brother did?”
I stare at him in silence.
“Do you own a gun?” he continues.
“No, but these days, I’m packing a can of pepper spray,” I laugh.
“Jada, this isn’t a joke. Someone tried to—”
“Fine… I don’t need reminding. Won’t you miss the dogs?”
“I missed work last week. I’m going to be swamped over the coming week, so I won’t have much time for them.”
“Maybe I should head down there today.”
“Go tomorrow.”
“Why?”
“I’ll get to spend more time with you before you abandon me for a week.”
“Since you put it that way, sure.”
“Would you like to go out for dinner tonight?”
“You think that’s wise?”
“I don’t think it matters anymore. I know one or two secluded spots that I think we can have some peace of mind. You game?”
“I’m in.”
“Just so you know, they’re not fancy.”
“That’s fine. Just because I own fancy resorts, it doesn’t mean that’s the only experience I want to have. I wasn’t surrounded by all this stuff growing up. I haven’t forgotten where I came from.”
Half an hour later, we arrive at the quaint restaurant about ten minutes from his house. It’s almost maxed out to capacity, but we’re seated in a very private corner booth. We place our order, and while we wait, I make sure I am up-to-date on what my doggie duties will be over the next week.
“So what time are they usually fed?”
“In the
morning. Is the property fenced?”
“Yes.”
“That’s perfect. You can let them out. And they probably will roam around for about thirty minutes then come back in.”
“Excuse me… Hello, Jada.”
I hear the female voice from behind. I turn and Koto stands in front of me—pregnant. I am certain the hairs over my body stand on end. I am in complete shock. Then anger kicks in.
“I have nothing to say to you. Please leave me alone,” I say calmly.
Jonathan looks at me questioningly.
“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Look, I got your emails and your telephone call… There was no need for you to ruin my perfect evening.”
“Jada, I need your forgiveness.”
“If you don’t leave me alone right this second, I will get out of this seat and leave.”
“You don’t understand.”
“I understand perfectly… Let’s go… I can’t do this,” I say to Jonathan. I slip out of the booth, ramming my fist through my coat. At the same moment, the server arrives with our food.
“I’m sorry, are you leaving?” he asks.
“Yes,” I respond curtly.
“Would you like me to box it to go?” he continues.
“Yes, please,” Jonathan and I reply simultaneously.
Jonathan hands me the keys. I head to the car while he waits for the food. Koto proceeds to follow me.
“What the hell do you want from me?” I ask, turning around to face her a few yards away from the vehicle. “Haven’t you done enough damage already?”
“All I want is your forgiveness.”
“Oh, is that all?”
“Please, I need you to forgive me.”
“Why? So you can have your baby with a clear conscience?”
“We never in—”
“You know what? I don’t want to hear about your bloody intentions.”
I see Jonathan walking towards me with the bag in one of his hands.
“Stay the hell away from me or I swear to God, I’ll file a restraining order against you.”
He swoops one arm around my waist and carries me to the car. After strapping me in place, he drives away. All the anger, hurt, and pain I felt from that day returns. After all this time, I am still so hurt and angry. I can’t believe my best friend had such disregard for my relationship and our friendship. I can’t believe that, beyond the fact that she was having an affair with Richard, she would allow herself to get pregnant. Was she not at all concerned about how much this would hurt me?
Love, Lies & The D.A. Page 19
