by Jane Holland
‘It’s a bit too late for that. Two years too late, in fact. I’ve been angry a bloody long time.’ Ruby takes a deep breath, as though trying to control her temper. Then she pulls the wooden stool forward and sits on it, almost level with me. ‘Look at your face. You don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, do you?’
I shake my head, watching her warily.
‘Poor little rich girl. Daddy’s dead and Mummy’s lost her marbles. What a sad life you must lead. Apart from the obvious perks, of course. This house, for instance. Your high-powered job in publishing. Oh, except that didn’t quite work out, did it? Tsk, such a shame you were fired. And all over a silly little tweet.’ Ruby reaches to move a few strands of damp hair out of my eyes, and I flinch backwards instinctively, banging my head on the radiator. ‘Now, love, don’t hurt yourself. There’ll be plenty of time for that later.’
‘What do you want?’
Ruby’s eyes narrow on my face. ‘That’s simple. I want what you can’t give me,’ she whispers, and points towards the ruined canvas. ‘I want that.’
‘My brother’s painting?’ I’m confused.
She slaps me, and my head snaps back under the force of the blow.
‘No, stupid bitch. I mean him.’ Ruby points again, her hand shaking. ‘My beautiful David. The man you treated like shit. The man you murdered.’
‘I don’t understand.’
She slaps me again, and my head cracks against the metal radiator. My mother moans and rocks back and forth, sitting in a huddle on the end of her bed, watching us.
‘You can’t imagine what it was like,’ Ruby says thickly, leaning so close that our faces are almost touching. I can see spittle on her lips and something like fanaticism in her eyes. ‘I loved him so deeply. David meant everything to me. Everything.’
‘I… I didn’t even know you knew him.’
‘Why would you?’ She makes a dismissive gesture. ‘He barely ever spoke to me, not much more than hello and goodbye. Once we talked about the weather, and another time the football results. I was just the woman who looked after his grandad while the poor old sod was dying. No, David never even looked twice. That didn’t matter though. Not to me.’ She shakes her head, and a single tear trickles down her cheek. ‘I worshipped him. I would have jumped in front of a train for that man.’
I don’t know what to say. But she’s clearly waiting for a response. ‘I see. You… knew David, then.’
‘I just said so, didn’t I?’ she snaps.
‘Sorry. But why do you say I killed him? I swear, I didn’t lay a finger on him.’ I swallow, and then whisper, ‘David killed himself.’
This time I’m ready for the slap, but it still knocks me back into the metal radiator. Hard too. There’s a sickening crunch, and I gasp with pain.
‘Please,’ I say, ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—’
‘Yes, you did.’ She strikes me again, and then again. ‘David was in love with you. The same way I was in love with him. And you threw him away, like he meant nothing.’
‘He was depressed.’
‘Because of the way you treated him.’
‘No, no…’ My vision is blurred. ‘That’s not true. That’s not what happened.’
‘Liar!’ She hits me again, her voice rising hysterically. ‘You lied to him, and now you’re lying to me. I saw his face after his grandad died. David was distraught. He couldn’t handle the grief. But you… You just wanted to go out partying and having fun. You didn’t care how he was feeling. You refused to listen, because you didn’t want to know.’
‘I did listen. I did.’
She almost screams at me, ‘You abandoned him when he needed you most. You walked away. And he died.’
Something rolls thickly and heavily down from my temple. It drips into my eye, half-blinding me, and I try to blink it away.
Blood?
‘You can’t know what really happened,’ I begin raggedly, though I know she’s probably going to punish me again for not agreeing with her. ‘You weren’t there. You said it yourself, he barely spoke to you.’
‘I broke into his flat after he died. I read his diaries. I know what David wrote about you, what he thought…’ She breaks off, sobbing.
‘It wasn’t my fault.’
‘Yes, it was. You’re a stone-cold bitch. You made David do it. You practically drove him to do it.’
The words strike a chord in me.
YOU’RE SUCH A STONE-COLD BITCH. NO WONDER I KILLED MYSELF.
‘You wrote those letters,’ I say slowly. ‘Those horrible, hateful letters. You sent them to me. At work. And here…’ I don’t understand. ‘Why?’
‘They weren’t my words. They were David’s.’
I shake my head. ‘No, he… he didn’t write anything like that in the note he left behind. He said he was depressed and couldn’t take it anymore.’
Guilt stirs in me though; David did write something in his suicide note about how he wished he could have confided in me. But everyone had reassured me it was just his depression talking.
‘You’re so full of yourself.’ She almost spits in my face. ‘He was a wonderful man. Of course he didn’t tell you how he really felt. He saved that for his diaries. You want to see what he wrote about you?’ She reaches behind herself, and drags her handbag between us. Inside, I can see several small black notebooks. She pulls one out and flips it open to a page marked with a red sticky flag, and then reads aloud, ‘My life is over. I tried telling Kate tonight how dead I feel inside since Grandad’s death. But she didn’t listen. She never listens. My friends call her a stone-cold bitch. But I don’t want to believe that.’ There are tears in her eyes. ‘You hear that? He was still defending you to the end. But he knew. Deep down inside, he knew how cold you are, Kate. Or he would never have written it in his diary. He killed himself three days after writing that.’
‘I didn’t know,’ I stammer. ‘I don’t remember him trying to tell me that. But I was dealing with my own grief. My dad, my brother…’
‘Bullshit.’
‘No, please. Ask Mum, ask anyone. I was on meds for several years.’
‘Ask your mum? I might as well ask the wall. Have you looked at her lately?’ She jerks her head at my mother, who has buried her face in her hands, still perched on the end of the bed. ‘Or were you too busy thinking about your new boyfriend? Lovely Logan. What a pity that didn’t work out. Still, he’s better off without you. I tried warning him, you know. Sent him a note, saying you were a murderer.’ Ruby pulls a face, pushing the creased, leather-bound diary back into her bag. ‘But he’s blinded by your posh roots and your big house and your money, just like David was.’
‘David didn’t care about any of that.’
‘No, maybe not. He was a good man. And he died because of that.’ Her eyes pierce me. ‘Because of you.’
I DIED BECAUSE OF YOU, KATE. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN.
That’s what she wrote in one of her poison pen letters.
She’s planning to kill me, I realise. Beyond her, I catch a glimpse of my mother peeking, ashen-faced, through her fingers, and it hits me. Ruby’s going to kill me, and then Mum too. She couldn’t leave Mum alive. It would be too risky.
And then I realise something else too.
‘And what about Giorgios?’ I whisper. ‘What did he do to you? Or was he somehow to blame for David’s death too?’
Ruby pulls back, and I see a change there. A flash of genuine contrition, perhaps.
‘I didn’t mean to hurt Giorgios. But he didn’t know what was good for him.’
‘So you murdered him.’
‘It wasn’t like that. I followed him home to find out where he lived and watched the house. Then I pretended to bump into him at the supermarket. I said I recognised him from way back. After that, it was easy, making friends with him, going out for drinks.’
‘Poor Giorgios,’ I say bitterly. ‘And you call me a murderer!’
‘It was done for a good cause. For justice. To even the scales.’ Ru
by glares at me. ‘Besides, I tried to persuade him to stop working for you first. Made up a sob story about having been in love with your brother, and how I wanted to look after his mum now she had dementia.’ Ruby bares her teeth. ‘Only Giorgios didn’t believe me. He kept asking questions. Why had Celeste never mentioned me before? How long had I been seeing Ciaran? Why didn’t I just ask to visit occasionally? He liked your mum; he didn’t want to stop working for you.’ She hisses between her teeth, her eyes narrowed as though at a painful memory. ‘I even offered him money. But that just made him more suspicious.’
I can see how conflicted she is over Giorgios’s death, and press on that sore spot, trying to weaken her.
‘And I suppose his death was an accident, was it?’
‘I didn’t plan it, if that’s what you mean. We were in his flat. I’d gone round there after the pub to ask one more time if he’d reconsider. And when he said no, and started talking about mentioning the whole thing to you and Celeste…’ Ruby shakes her head. ‘Well, I couldn’t allow that. There was a knife on the bread board. One of those long ones with a serrated edge. He turned away to pick up the phone, and I just…’
She glances round at my mother, who’s crying.
‘I didn’t want to,’ Ruby insists angrily. ‘Giorgios forced me to do it. I stabbed him in the back, and then kept on stabbing until he stopped moving. There was so much blood. It took me hours to clean the place, make it look like nothing had happened. I even put a note under his neighbour’s door, to say he was going on holiday so nobody would get suspicious when he wasn’t around. Then I had to drag his body out to my car in the middle of the night. There’s an alleyway behind the back gardens there. It took forever. But once it was done, I drove out of town for a few miles and dumped his body in the woods. Tried to cover it with branches as best I could. Drove back, cleaned out the car… I was exhausted.’ She closes her eyes briefly. ‘But it was worth it, to get this position, to get into this house. You were so keen to have me too, especially after I came round a few times to put the wind up you… watching you from behind the trees, breaking that security light, making you feel unsafe here alone.’
‘You’re sick,’ I whisper, only now realising how cleverly she’s been playing us from the start.
‘No, actually, I’m highly practical. Not like you.’ She looks around at the untidy bedroom, her expression disdainful. ‘I’m good at cleaning up messes and sorting things out. Being organised is my superpower.’ Her smile is eerie. ‘David used to say that sometimes. I kept his grandad’s place so tidy, you see. Really looked after the old boy.’
‘I’m sure David appreciated you,’ I say carefully. ‘Maybe even felt something for you. Even if he didn’t say so to your face.’
‘Don’t lie to me. I’m not a fool. David wasn’t interested in me. And I didn’t need him to be. This isn’t about him. This is about natural justice. You killed my David. You killed the best person I knew. And for that, you have to die.’
I swallow. ‘And my mum? What’s she done to deserve this?’
‘Nothing,’ Ruby says, lifting a shoulder in disinterest. ‘Unless you count her role in bringing up a bitch like you, that is. I mean, your kind of personality doesn’t come from nowhere. Who’s to blame for Kate Kinley if it isn’t her own mum and dad? Your dad’s already dead and buried. And so’s your brother. But I can make your mum pay for creating you.’ She leans forward. ‘And I can make you pay for killing the love of my life.’
I stare, horrified. ‘Is that why you burnt her? And battered her? Because she’s my mother?’
‘Rich people are easy to hate.’
‘We’re not rich. Maybe once, but… we’re not rich now.’
‘You look a lot richer than me, love. I’ve got nothing. Less than nothing. And I didn’t mind that, once upon a time. Back when David was alive. It made me happy, just seeing him around the place. I made little notes for him. Nothing important. Just to let him know how his grandad was getting on. But I know David appreciated the gesture. The next time he came around, he’d say, “Thank you for the note, Ruby,” and smile at me… He had such a lovely smile.’ Her voice throbs with poignancy. ‘I miss it.’
Out in the hallway, the telephone begins to ring.
She turns her head, listening.
‘That’ll be for you,’ Ruby says, and doesn’t move.
‘I told Logan to come over tonight,’ I lie, hoping to frighten her into leaving.
‘No, you didn’t. I was listening.’
‘Then you misheard. Because I definitely told him to—’
‘I was listening on the other handset,’ she says calmly. ‘You didn’t say anything of the kind. Logan’s coming round tomorrow. By which time, you’ll be dead.’
I slump against the radiator, defeated. I’ve tried to talk my way out of this, but she has an answer for everything. I even tried to bluff but she saw straight through it. Meanwhile, I feel sick and my head is throbbing. My arms ache from being constantly upraised; I try to ease them by rolling my shoulders in their sockets, but it doesn’t improve matters. Though I suppose I won’t feel them anymore once I’m dead.
‘You shouldn’t have been so hard on Logan, you know,’ she adds, smirking a little when I look up. ‘He’s really quite nice. A pity he had to fall for someone like you. But I expect he’ll get over his disappointment soon enough. Once he sees what you’re really like, like the rest of the world already has.’
I stare at her through narrowed eyes. ‘Was it you who sent that tweet about Calum Morgan?’
‘Didn’t see that one coming, did you? You really shouldn’t leave your password in your bedroom where anyone can see it. Very careless.’
‘Anyone who happens to be in my bedroom,’ I point out.
‘I don’t know why you’re so upset. It sounds to me like he deserved it.’
‘Maybe,’ I say grudgingly. ‘Though it cost me my job.’
‘I bet your boss went spare.’
‘Mark wasn’t happy.’
She laughs, seeming to take pleasure in this thought. ‘Well, at least you went to that bloody festival thing, even with the car off the road. He should be grateful.’
I catch something in her voice. A note of self-congratulatory triumph. ‘You did something to my car too, didn’t you? To stop it working.’
‘I couldn’t risk you going to the police.’ She shrugs. ‘Easy enough to disconnect the battery. You looked under the bonnet but didn’t even notice. Not very good with cars, are you?’
‘You seem to have thought of everything. So, are you going to stab me too?’ I ask abruptly, hoping to catch her off-guard. ‘Like you did Giorgios?’
Ruby licks her lips, and then shakes her head after a moment’s hesitation. ‘Too messy.’
I watch her, hopeful that she’ll change her mind about killing me. She seems less intense than before; maybe she’s talked all the hatred out and I can persuade her to let us go.
‘To be honest, I thought about torching this place. Get rid of you and your mum at the same time. People would think you did it to yourself, because of that tweet and losing your job, all the public humiliation.’ Her smile is chilling. ‘I even bought a can of petrol to set the fire. It’s in the back of my car.’
My mother is crawling slowly up the bed towards the pillows. She looks beyond exhaustion, poor thing.
‘Please, don’t do this,’ I beg her. ‘Let my mum go, at least. Look at her. She’s terrified.’
‘She made you who you are,’ Ruby says stubbornly. ‘She deserves to pay too.’
‘Please. I’ll do anything.’
Ruby scratches her nose, studying me thoughtfully. ‘Will you jump?’
‘Sorry?’
‘Like David jumped. Will you agree to do that? Because if you will, I’ll let your mother live.’
My stomach plummets.
Because I understand now what’s she planning. David could have taken pills or slit his wrists or thrown himself in front of a train. Ins
tead, he killed himself by jumping from the top floor of one of the multi-storey car parks in town. And he did it in front of me.
I’ve blocked out the memory of that day because it was so terrible. But her words bring it all back to me…
He rang me just before he jumped that afternoon, asking me cryptically to meet him on the street below the car park, right on the corner.
I turned up on time and stood there for maybe five minutes, looking about for him, confused and wondering where he was. There were people walking past the whole time, carrying shopping bags or going about their business in town. I can still see their faces, the shock when it happened…
At last, my phone rang again.
‘Look up,’ David said into my ear, his voice strangely breathy.
Thinking it was one of his practical jokes, I glanced up, and saw him outlined against the sky. He was balancing on the narrow rail that guarded the drop from the top floor of the multi-storey car park.
‘Oh my God,’ I gasped as he lifted one hand in a kind of salute. ‘David, what on earth are you doing? Get down from there.’
‘I love you, Kate,’ he said softly, and jumped.
I wanted to turn away, to close my eyes, but my body refused to obey. Instead, I stood speechless with horror and watched him fall all the way, the phone clasped to my ear, the line still live… until suddenly it wasn’t.
‘You can’t be serious,’ I tell Ruby now, feeling about ready to throw up. ‘You want me to… to jump?’
‘That’s right. Like David did. From the same rooftop car park.’
I shake my head. ‘Not a chance.’
‘Okay.’ Ruby shrugs as though it doesn’t matter to her either way. ‘Then I’ll lock you and your mum in here, and burn the house down. You can go together. Not a very pleasant way to go for your mum. But if you’re lucky, she’ll die of asphyxiation before the flames get her.’
Mum has closed her eyes, lying very still on her pillows as though she never intends to get up again. But I want her to get up again. I want her to survive this night. And she will, if I have anything to do with it.
‘All right, you win,’ I say hoarsely. ‘Let my mother live, and I’ll bloody well jump for you.’
