“Why do I think we’re afraid of two different things?” he asked her, catching her hand and kissing the tips of her fingers slowly, each in their turn.
“I’m afraid of everything, remember? Is it ironic to say a Shadowdweller is afraid of her own shadow?” she joked weakly.
“Just tell me what you’re afraid of,” he coaxed her, his light kisses including each knuckle on the back of her hand now.
“I’m afraid she…she’ll be different.”
“Jei li, everyone is different.”
“You know what I mean,” she said, looking away from him so she could toy with droplets of water on the edge of the tub. “She could be like me. White-skinned. Blond. She would…it would be hard for her, wouldn’t it? Harder for her to use Shadowdweller methods, harder to socialize—just harder. It feels like it wouldn’t be fair.”
“Jei li, it’s true that you’re a curiosity and that people need to get used to you, but it’s just curiosity. It’s not hostile or unwelcoming. It isn’t intolerant like it can be in the human world. Our troubles have always been clan related. One clan versus another and the prejudice that comes with it, or hard feelings from issues of the past. This is not going to be an issue for you because you have no clan affiliation. And anyway, the clans have mostly dissolved since the war ended. It will take more time, of course, before they truly are a thing of the past, but it will happen.
“I have faith that no matter what she looks like, our child will meet with a tolerance that will make me proud of my people. If there are troubles, she will have a very powerful father to set things better. Don’t you trust me to take care of her?”
“Of course I do,” Ashla said, a little mortified that she sounded as if she were questioning his ability to protect their child. “I love you, Trace. You are a good man. I feel like I have won some sort of megaprize just by finding you, never mind somehow getting you to love me. I’m very fortunate.”
“Aiya, jei li, Drenna knows you deserve such fortune. Your life has been hard enough to start. Relax and enjoy this now. Let me worry about all of this for you. Let me love you and keep you safe.”
He reached to kiss her, a painstakingly gentle kiss that kept her engaged for several long, sweet minutes before she finally drew back for a breath. She looked into his dark eyes and smiled when she saw the slow-rising passion readily burning for her there. But they both knew he would not say or do anything about it just now. She had healing left to do, and Trace’s sense of honor would not let him cross any more lines than he already had in his history with her.
“Magnus will join us once you are fully recovered,” he told her. Then he seemed to rethink his rather dominant tone. “I mean, that is what I would like.”
“I would like it, too.” She smiled. “Unfortunately, you will have to extend all the invitations. I don’t have any family or friends any longer.”
“You will. And quite soon, at that. Although I should warn you that gestation for Shadowdweller females is, um…somewhat different than for humans. It will be hard to say which you might tend toward.”
“What do you mean ‘somewhat different’?” she asked, her eyes narrowing on him when he tried to act a little too nonchalant about it.
He shrugged. The casual movement simply looked wrong on him. It reeked of evasiveness, and he was not by nature an evasive man.
“Okay, remember the part where I asked you to stop scaring the crap out of me? Well, you’re doing it again!”
He had the nerve to look surprised and aghast at the idea. “No, jei li! Don’t be afraid. Different is just different. It isn’t bad. I just know you’re not fond of unpredictability.”
“You know, specifics would be good here,” she said coldly.
“Honestly,” he said, sounding very sincere and convincing, “it’s just minor things. For instance, it may be a bit longer than nine months. This is true of most Nightwalker breeds.”
“Longer?” She gave him a dirty look. “Like a month?”
“Or three. Possibly four. It varies.”
She gasped in a stunned little laugh. “Oh, is that all? Just a month or four here or there, right?”
“Now, see, you are looking at this the wrong way. It gives us more time to prepare, right?”
“What else?” she asked.
“Honey, it’s nothing for you to get upset o—”
“What else?” she demanded.
“You can’t enter Shadowscape for more than the briefest times while pregnant. Euphoria sets in too quickly for gestating women.”
“Oh. Well, I can’t Fade yet anyway. I don’t even know if I can do it again.”
“You can. You will. I can tell.”
“Oh.” She licked her lips nervously. “Well, that’s okay. I don’t need to go into Shadowscape, do I?”
“We will try to avoid it, of course.”
“Of course.” She rolled her eyes. “Anything else?”
“Not really. Except…well, I am certain this won’t apply to you since you are so pale, but there are the skin tone changes.”
“The what what now?”
Trace knew this was just going to get worse by the tone of her voice and the increased use of human idioms. He sighed and wondered, for a moment, if this was any sign of how she was going to react to the traditional wedding practices of his people.
He decided he wouldn’t get into that until much, much later.
For now, he leaned in and caught her frowning mouth in a slow, warm kiss and decided to keep kissing her until he could think of a better way of handling her fear.
And it actually seemed to work.
Epilogue
Magnus returned to Sanctuary with a brooding step to match his austere frown. No one approached him, and no one said a word while he was present. Speculation and gossip, however, would continue as soon as his office doors closed behind him.
Especially when he refused a temporary handmaiden to replace Karri.
No, Magnus thought darkly. When he chose another handmaiden, it would be very, very different. There would be no one else involved in his choice this time. No committee of approval, no suggestions from others. He was wise enough to realize, however, that Karri had not been some evil entity, spoiled from the very start. That would be too easy an explanation for too complicated a tragedy. In fact, it was her kindness and her sensitivity that had left her open to the manipulations of some deceptive bituth amec within the walls of his church.
Church and state.
Sanctuary and Senate.
It unnerved and disturbed him to know this taint had touched both crucial strongholds of their society. He knew it was affecting Tristan and Malaya as well. They would need his guidance now more than ever.
The question was, how could he overcome such a deep betrayal in order to preach hope and faith to them once again? How and who could he trust in his very own home after discovering his most trusted companion was as treacherous as the winter night was long?
He also wanted to know just how much of what was happening would turn out to be his fault.
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Since time began, there have been Nightwalkers—the races of the night who live in the shadows of the moonlight. Love with humans is absolutely forbidden, and one man makes certain to uphold this ancient law: Jacob, the Enforcer…
For 700 Years, He Has Resisted Temptation. But Not Tonight…
Jacob knows the excuses his people give when the madness overtakes them and they fall prey to their lust for humans. He’s heard every one and still brought the trespassers to justice. Immune to forbidden desires, uncontrollable hungers, or the curse of the moon, his control is total…until the moment he sees Isabella on a shadowy New York City street. Saving her life wasn’t in his plans. Nor were the overwhelming feelings she arouses in him. But the moment he holds her in his arms and feels the soft explosion of her body against his, everything changes. Their attractio
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Bring on the night.
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They’re called the Nightwalkers—proud, ancient beings who live in the shadows, existing just beyond the human world. But there are also dangerous humans who hunt them—necromancers who use the blackest magic to manipulate them. And for a Demon named Gideon, the battle against these evil forces will soon be all too personal…
As A Healer, He Knows Her Body.
But It’s Her Heart He Wants.
For a thousand years, Gideon has healed his people. And as the oldest surviving male of his race, his wisdom has always been respected without question. But Gideon knows that even he is vulnerable to the powerful, primitive desires that befall his kind during Hallowed moons—and nine years ago that truth was hammered home when he found himself claiming Magdalegna, the Demon King’s sister, in a wild embrace. Horrified by his lack of control, he left her wanting and furious—and then exiled himself for the better part of a decade. Now, with necromancers threatening his people—and Magdalegna nearly their victim—Gideon must face another truth. He and the beautiful, stubborn Magdalegna are destined to be together, to share a love as deep and old as time itself. But first he needs to regain her trust. Then he’ll have to save her life…
Every night holds secrets.
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They are called the Demons, one of the elusive Nightwalker races living in shadow and struggling for survival against their human enemies. Their proudest warrior is Elijah, a man who bends for nothing and no one…until one woman brings him to his knees…
Some Feelings You Just Can’t Fight.
He is known as the Warrior Captain—a master of every weapon, a fierce soldier sworn to protect his kind. Powerful, relentless, merciless, Elijah has always won every battle he’s ever taken on—until now. Ambushed by necromancers, he is left for dead only to be discovered by the woman who could very well deliver the final blow…Siena, the Lycanthrope Queen.
With three centuries of warring, little more than a decade of uneasy peace has existed between the Lycanthropes and Elijah’s people. Now, after a lifetime of suspicion, the warrior in Elijah is consumed with a different battle—winning Siena’s heart by giving her pleasure beyond all boundaries. What starts as attraction and arousal soon burns into a passion with consequences that will echo through the ages for both their people. And as would-be enemies become inseparable lovers, another threat approaches, one with the power to destroy them all…
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They are the Nightwalkers, mysterious beings who dwell in the shadows of our world, and Damien, the Vampire Prince, is among the most powerful of them all. But one woman will tempt him with a desire unlike anything he has known, and together they will face a terrifying and relentless foe…
He’d Never Loved. But She Was Irresistible.
As reigning Vampire Prince, Damien has tasted every pleasure the world has to offer—consorting with kings and queens and delighting in sensual adventure. Now, tired of such pursuits, he devotes his energies to protecting his people. The war between human necromancers and Nightwalkers has escalated, and when the enemy makes a daring move, kidnapping Syreena, a Lycanthrope Princess, Damien boldly follows. He succeeds in rescuing her, but is unprepared for the erotic longing her lush sensuality awakens in him.
Gifted with rare abilities, Syreena grew up in a cloistered setting and was forbidden to form attachments to others, yet the connection Damien feels with her is immediate, intoxicating, and impossible for either to resist. But claiming Syreena as his mate could have shattering repercussions for every Nightwalker—and leave their enemies more dangerous than ever before…
Temptation tastes sweetest at night.
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“A handmaiden,” Daenaira said speculatively, “bathes her priest, I was told. She dresses him, undresses him, and tends his body and his wounds. She is a maid and a squire, seeing to all of his needs as a domestic wife and assistant would, freeing him to fight for their beliefs and their people. My mother told me this. She said it sounded so romantic.”
Dae smiled a little, taking a moment to feel the textures of his shirt, but more importantly to marvel over the absolute hardness of the rippled muscles beneath. He was very warm, almost hot she could say. He radiated strong heat from even stronger muscles that processed energy and motion at peak efficiency. For male attributes, they were surprisingly appealing.
Magnus was wrong, though, when he assumed she had had no sexual education. Not formal, perhaps, but a bar rat got to see more than her share of bawdy behavior between waitresses, customers, and even her own mother. She had seen expert methods of flirtation and temptation; not to mention that last minute flip of denial. What men liked to call a tease. What they loved to call a tease. They stomped and growled about it, but they always hung around for more.
It wasn’t that she wanted to be that mean or anything, or even that she wanted to play the tease, because frankly she shouldn’t tempt fate when this arrangement was actually beginning to appeal to her a bit more.
“I am very young,” she noted as she moved a little closer to him, just because she was enjoying his warmth and because the rich scents of him reminded her so much of a time when big, brawny men had been really nice to her. “Don’t you think it’s unfair to ask me to decide right now what sacrifices I am willing to make for the rest of my life? Especially sacrificing things I have never experienced? Aren’t you concerned that I will always wonder what I’m missing? Aren’t you concerned I won’t abide by your rules and decisions or I will become tired of them?”
Dae couldn’t have realized how close to the raw wound in Magnus’s soul she was striking against, but she found out instantly when he grabbed hold of her arms with sudden and barely leashed violence. He drew her up so hard and high against his body that her still weary muscles made her clack against him like a loose marionette. Then everything settled and there was only the bruising force of his grip around her and the fast, hot rush of his breath against the right side of her face and neck.
“Oh, yes,” he said softly, his voice so even that she could feel the rage broiling beneath it in each and every breath. “Believe me when I tell you, I have considered this quite a lot. In fact, I agree that you are young and uneducated in some of the ways of the world and that you are in no position to decide loyalties and faith when nothing in your experience seems to have generated either one in your heart. Light, I don’t even know if you believe in our gods.”
Daenaira felt the touch of his lips then, firm and warm and dry against the sensitive edge of her ear. It gave her a queer and powerful chill that coiled in a rapid spiral along the outer edges of her body.
“But,” he continued tightly, “my beloved goddess of Darkness, in her infinite wisdom, has plagued me with visions of a girl with strange red hair and the face and form of a beautiful warrior. She didn’t even wait until that…” He swallowed what he was going to say and she felt the repressed fury shudder through him. “My previous handmaiden was five minutes from death the first time Drenna showed you to me. She wasted no time at all before driving me all but insane with the need for you. You were Chosen, K’yindara, and not by me. And you considered this fate for a week before you agreed to it. Knowing now what your alternative was, I can only imagine you thought very carefully about it if you considered saying no and risking yourself for a few more years in your relatives’ house.”
“You never asked me a thing!” she gasped.
“I did. I entered Dreamscape while yo
u slept and I found you there. I made my proposal, and you turned me down quite quickly. You made me woo you, my little K’yindara. Every night I came and spoke with you, quelled your concerns and answered your questions. I spoke to your soul, sweet girl, and all but begged you to come to me. Anything. I would have done anything to ease these visions of you as they haunted me in ways I can’t even begin to describe. I know you don’t remember this, and Drenna designs it this way, so now I will have to woo you all over again here in Realscape where it will count just as much. But make no mistake, this was your choice and you have already made it. The price was paid and I doubt you will ever fully realize which of us bled the most for it.”
There was pain. Oh, so very much pain in those last words that Daenaira physically felt it shredding through her. Yet his voice and tenor never wavered, never changed. She sensed in that moment that, though their worlds were so vastly different, they were far more similar than it appeared.
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Copyright © 2009 by Jacquelyn Frank
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Ecstasy: The Shadowdwellers Page 33
