by Kata Čuić
“I’d like to say yes, but honestly, Ironville has a serious gambling problem.”
Rob goes back to studying, so I unfurl my leg to poke him in the thigh. “We’re not immune to that culture. Might I remind you we’re currently in the middle of a bet of our own, Mr. Falls?”
He smiles, but doesn’t say anything else.
I lean my head against the couch and simply watch him work as I think about everything that’s happened in the past week.
Cathy is right about one thing. I’m terrible at predicting people’s feelings and reactions.
Everything I expected was nothing I got.
Not only did Rob not revile me or even remotely blame me for the night he was assaulted, but our family members actually exchanged money when we confessed we’d been married for almost two years.
Apparently, there was a whole pool to see how long it would take us to crack and admit everything. Even my aunts and uncles were in on it.
I guess they figured it out during Papou’s funeral week.
For all Rob’s insistence at secrecy to keep his father in the dark, I have to wonder if Gary Falls hasn’t known every move we’ve made all along. Everyone else seems to have known from the very beginning.
And if that’s the case, what was the point of any of it?
“Rob?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you and your mom have a nice, long talk while we were home?”
If by some miracle Gary didn’t know before, surely Patty has told him by now. And maybe we need to start preparing for him to make our lives miserable. He certainly has enough hatred and ammunition for another smear campaign against me in the media, which won’t do Rob any favors during this comeback season.
I’m pretty sure it’s rational for his past behavior to dictate any expectations I might have about the future where he’s concerned.
Rob leans his head back against the couch and exhales a deep sigh. “We did. I apologized profusely for my behavior and for shutting her out the way I did. It was so weird. She just…forgave me. Like I hadn’t done anything wrong at all.”
Funny. He basically did the same thing for me, multiple times. “She’s your mom, Rob. She loves you. Of course, she forgave you.”
Love doesn’t call penalties.
It’s a game sure, but when one person loses, everyone loses.
Winning isn’t so much about picking a side as it is choosing to always be on the same team.
“Did you discuss your dad at all?”
“Yeah.” Rob grimaces. “I don’t feel right talking badly about him to her. He’s her husband after all. But, she deserved to know what led up to all the secrecy. Mom honestly had no idea what he’d been up to, just like I suspected.”
Love is not just a team effort, but also wildly blind sometimes. Although, I’m not sure that’s the reason Patty’s been in the dark. “What was her reaction?”
“She was disappointed, but not all that surprised. She knows how he is. Honestly, I don’t understand what she sees in him. Never could. Even if I think back to when I was a toddler, I have no good memories of the man. He’s always been overbearing and not willing to bend. When I told you back in high school that I was running drills in my backyard as soon as I could walk, I wasn’t joking. For an ex-NCAA player who was injured before he could go pro, the man lives, breathes, and eats football. It makes absolutely no sense.”
“I dunno.” I trace my toes up and down Rob’s thigh, transfixed by the way his muscles react to my touch. “I think it makes perfect sense. He’s living his dream through you because he never had a chance to achieve it. He’s an agent for other players, so he can still have the life he always wanted by proxy.”
Rob crinkles his nose, looking every bit the young boy inside the powerful man. “If he wanted to live through me, he picked a lousy way to achieve that dream. I don’t want anything to do with him, and I sure as hell don’t want him anywhere near you.”
Arguing the man is his only father won’t do any good. I have plenty of wonderful memories stored away from before my dad left our family, so I can’t quite empathize with how Rob feels about his own father. While we both might have the cliché daddy issues, they couldn’t be more different.
Instead of prying for more information about Gary’s potential knowledge of our marriage, this topic of conversation leads my mind astray down a path I haven’t let it venture in, well…ever.
I’ve always known Rob would make a wonderful father someday, but I’ve never imagined that life with him.
But, now?
Now, I can’t help it.
It’s no longer just us sitting here on this couch. I picture a toddler with chameleon eyes and dark hair in Rob’s lap. It’s all too easy to imagine Rob abandoning his work to play a game, or have a tickle war, or even just cuddle while watching cartoons.
The mental movie pans wider, and I finally let my mind run with it.
Rob bathing a small child, his touch oh-so-gentle in spite of his size. Making sure to use the tear-free, organic shampoo because he researched all options online and found that one to be the best.
In this fantasy world, and even in the real one I’m still having difficulty adjusting to, money is no object when it comes to the best baby care.
This big, burly quarterback sings a lullaby in his typically off-key voice, but with every possible expression of adoration evident in his tone.
Our baby feels loved, wanted, and so secure snuggling down into his or her crib for the night.
Of course, it has the highest thread-count sheets and the entire nursery is decked out in Sacramento Gold Rushers’ gear. Because number ten now has a new biggest fan.
I can almost hear the flick of the light switch in my mind. Practically feel the way Rob turns his gaze to me.
After a long day of training and parenting, he’s still a man with wants and needs.
And I’m the wife to fulfill them.
“If you keep looking at me that way, you know what’s going to happen.”
I shake out of my trance as reality sets in. My old self-preservation instincts kick into overdrive.
“W-what? I wasn’t looking at you.” I was looking at a picture of a likely unattainable future.
Rob places his iPad down on the coffee table. “Take off your clothes…please.”
Whoa. Hello, fantasy. Meet reality. “Why?”
“Because this has been a lonely couch of penance for far too long.” Rob stands, then tears down his shorts and boxer briefs in one swipe, freeing his very ready dick.
Just the sight of him so eager for me has my mouth watering and my panties damp, but this isn’t a fantasy. While I might have imagined all kinds of hot and heavy impromptu sex with him once upon a time, we simply don’t have that luxury.
“Um, as much as I’m flattered, is this a bad time to admit a fear?”
Rob jerks his head back, his eyes squinted in confusion. “No. It’s never a bad time for that. What’s on your mind? We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I didn’t get an alert that it’s your time of the month…”
I stifle a giggle. Him and that stupid app. Still, the idea he’s kept it all this time spreads warmth through my chest.
“This couch is very nice and all, but I’m afraid it’s a little too open out here. Anyone could come walking in, and I don’t really want Byers or whoever’s on perimeter duty today hearing us. Plus…” Pointing out the obvious isn’t backsliding, no matter how much Cathy’s voice in my head says otherwise. “We can’t just go at it whenever and however we want. It’s only been three days. We usually wait a week.”
Rob gets this weird distant expression on his face rather than becoming irritated with my logic. “I’m not gonna lie. Making love to you in your girly pink bed was absolutely a bucket list item for me.”
“Huh?” Aren’t bucket lists supposed to be lifetime achievement goals?
He aims a dimpled grin my way. “Remember how you always used to ask me what my fantasies
were about you? That was right up there in the top five.”
I’m so confused. “Me biting your shoulder to keep anyone else in the house from hearing my moans was a fantasy of yours?”
Rob visibly shudders. “That was so hot, but not what I meant.”
Hot? I was appalled the next morning to see the damage I’d left behind on his perfect skin, especially considering the very noticeable teeth marks which will never fade from my breasts. Rob just laughed it off, kissed me good morning, and told me I could mark him anytime because he wanted me to. Then, he donned a t-shirt to hide the evidence and practically skipped downstairs to make everyone breakfast.
While watching a man his size act so giddy was a momentary distraction, and everyone appreciated his delicious meal, I couldn’t look him in the eyes until we boarded our flight back to Sacramento two days later.
Even now, I can’t stop myself from studying his shoulder for any lingering bruise. Nope. All gone.
Lucky bastard.
He chuckles, shaking his head since he obviously knows what I’m doing. “I’m fine, baby. Stop worrying. Anyway, what I mean is I always had this fantasy in high school of deflowering you in your bed. I had no idea until senior year it was all lacy and pink and nothing I ever associated with you, but there you go. One of my old fantasies.”
Huh. Weight rooms, childhood bedrooms. Leaving behind underwear and handprints all over The Lady. As much as I believed him to be a manwhore at one time, all these revelations don’t line up with the current knowledge I have of the man standing naked before me. “You have a much dirtier mind than I ever imagined, Falls.”
“Only with you. It’s okay with you.” His cheeks pink and he nods as if he’s reassuring himself. “As long as you want it, too. If you’re still sore we can wait, though.”
Oh, I want it. We just can’t have it. “I think I’m okay, but there’s one more flaw in your plan.”
He raises an eyebrow and places his hands on his trim waist, which only draws my eyes to the very excited penis still waiting on me to make up my mind and give in already.
“There’s no lube out here,” I blurt. I really should be sore after that last time at home without it. That was a learning experience I’d rather not repeat.
“You know, if you weren’t practically drooling right now, I’d give up.” He drops a kiss on my nose before passing me on his way to the bedroom, mumbling as he goes. “I’m gonna have to hide stashes all through the condo for just in case.”
That gets a laugh out of me.
“Get naked, Mrs. Falls!” he calls from the bedroom as the sound of the nightstand drawer sliding open accompanies his request. “I can vouch from previous experience this condo is practically soundproof, so feel free to yell my name as loud as you want.”
Well, then.
I guess we’re christening the couch tonight.
I shouldn’t have pushed for more so soon. Evie’s right. There’s a reason we can only have sex once a week.
Sure, she’s sound asleep now, curled up at my side, but it took way longer for her prescription pain killers to kick in than it ever has before.
I thought I had a pretty good handle on my urges, but as time goes by I’m finding it harder and harder to remember why I ever suppressed them.
Pun intended.
Even now, with her naked body pressed against mine, I’m ready for round two.
She wasn’t in that much pain, right?
The meds will work for what? Four to six hours?
This is actually the perfect opportunity.
She rolls over onto her stomach with a moan, a frown plastered across her lips even in sleep.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Of course, she was in pain. More like agony. She was practically crying actual tears by the time I finished.
And I never stopped.
I didn’t want to stop. She always makes me promise I won’t.
My back feels sweaty against the sheets. The blanket is smothering my throbbing dick. I’m so horny, I can’t take it anymore.
I need a distraction.
My cell buzzes on the nightstand, so I roll over to check the screen.
Perfect.
As quietly as possible, I slide out of bed and make quick tracks out of the room, shutting the door behind me before I answer.
“It’s after midnight. Something wrong?”
“Plenty,” she sighs into the speaker. “I…can’t do this anymore. I hate deceiving everyone this way.”
My heart rate kicks up, but in the interest of not waking Evie, I take a seat on the couch and force myself to at least act calm. The leather feels cool and soothing against my hot skin. “Don’t do this to me. Not now. I need you too much.”
“You don’t need me,” she practically spits. “Anyone could do this for you.”
Deep breath. In. Out. Count to ten. “You’re not just anyone. You’re special, and you know it. Your abilities go far beyond what anyone else could offer me.”
“I hate this feeling of sneaking around and lying by omission, Rob! I think we need to tell her. She deserves to know.”
“After everything she’s been through, she deserves peace,” I grit out, trying to keep my volume down. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about what we’re doing. Don’t think of it as going behind Evie’s back. Think of it as helping her. She’s just getting her life back together. I see the progress she’s making every day.”
“I don’t know…” A sigh over the line accompanies the sounds of sheets rustling. She’s calling me from bed.
“I owe Evie this chance at a better life. Don’t ask me not to give her everything she deserves.”
“How much longer is left in your little bet?” Her diversion is so pathetic, it’s almost laughable, but I play along to keep the peace.
“Around five months, give or take a few days. I’m starting to lose track of the time, to be honest.”
An understanding hum leaves her lips. “Getting in deep again already, are you?”
“Yep.” I don’t bother denying it. She knows exactly how it is. It’s not like I have to worry about her jealousy; the woman currently laughing in a husky voice on the other end of the line knows exactly where we stand.
“I really wish you would let me talk to her. If we explained the situation, I’m sure she’d understand.”
“No!” I jump up from the couch and wince at my own shout. Surely, Evie heard that. Restlessness prompts me to pace the floor. “She doesn’t need to worry about anything other than what she already has on her plate.”
“How do you think lying to her is helping her?” she hisses over the line. “If anything, when she finds out the truth, it’s just going to set her back to square one.”
“Don’t call her,” I warn, dead serious. “You promised to keep this a secret. If you break my trust, I can find someone else to help me out. And, if it has to come to that, I won’t apologize for how you might be hurt in the end of it all.”
“You’re a real bastard, you know that? I don’t know why I agreed to this arrangement at all.”
As wrong as it is, a sly smile spreads over my mouth. “Because deep down you love me, and know I’m a good guy.”
“Yeah,” she deadpans. “A good guy who’s lying to his wife.”
A twinge of guilt sparks in my chest, but I snuff it out. “l’m doing what I have to do. Like a husband should.”
“You’re being selfish, if anything,” she breathes. “You want to have your cake and eat it, too. Your desire to play the hero is admirable, but at the end of the day, you’re still just a man.”
The line goes dead.
A good five minutes of silence passes before I kick myself for not even talking about the important stuff with her. We spent so much time arguing, we never really exchanged anything meaningful.
Who knows when I’ll get another chance to connect with her?
With the season gearing up to start, this juggling act is about to get a lot more complicat
ed.
The sound of the bedroom door creaking open reignites the sweat that had only recently dried on my skin. As Evie creeps out into the living room, it takes every ounce of control to wipe away any guilt in my expression. “What’s wrong, baby? Can’t sleep?”
“Uh, no.” She’s donned pajamas of her own, and twists the fabric of her shirt in her hands. “Couldn’t stop thinking.”
My anxiety over how much of my conversation she might have overheard mounts when she makes her way to stand in front of the wall of windows instead of coming to me. I swallow down the lump in my throat to speak, trying my best to keep my voice even. “Thinking about what?”
She continues to stare out at the lights of downtown Sacramento, glittering in the darkness. “I told you what happened the night of the Wives’ Club initiation, but there’s someone else who deserves to know. It affected him just as much as any of us.”
Mike.
I don’t like the idea of her traveling anywhere just now. Not when there are so many unknown variables in the wind. “Okay, so give him a call tomorrow. I already told you he doesn’t blame you for what happened in New York. He isn’t going to blame you for that night, either.”
Evie finally faces me, and it’s only now do I notice her slightly hunched posture. “He lost more than you did that night. You don’t know how he’ll react. Besides, I owe him a face-to-face apology for how I…attacked him in my apartment.”
“We’ve been over this. You didn’t attack him. You were defending yourself.”
Her expression falls. “From someone who was never there.”
“You don’t know that.”
She manages to square her shoulders. “Neither do you.”
After tonight, I’m not sure I know anything. But, I do see a shift happening and it’s on me to nip it in the bud. We can’t undo months of progress in just a few short seconds. Not acceptable.
I sink down onto the couch and pat the seat beside me. “Come here. I want to talk to you about something else.”
She relents and approaches, but doesn’t sit before stating her terms. “I’m going to New York to talk to Mike. Being at your pre-season games was never part of our deal.”
