by Lucy Clark
Slowly she let go of the large breath she hadn’t even realised she’d been holding and forced herself to relax. ‘OK,’ she whispered, believing every word he spoke.
‘Good.’ His smile was small and he squeezed her hand reassuringly. ‘Now, I need your papers. I’ll only be gone for a minute or two and then I’ll be right back here, by your side. Understand?’
She nodded and swallowed again, feeling the dryness beginning to fade. Dart was here. Dart would protect her. This time, as she watched him move away from her and jump off the back of the truck, along with Tarvon, she didn’t feel so worried about him. He was a strong, capable man. The man she loved with all her heart.
With no fuss at all, they were cleared through the checkpoint, Dart coming to sit back down beside her.
‘How are you feeling now?’ he asked as he took her hand in his.
‘Better.’
Dart leaned closer and spoke softly near her ear.
‘Something happened in your past, didn’t it?’
‘How can you tell?’ she asked, her confused and concerned eyes looking into his sure and steady ones.
‘Wealthy family plus guns. Not a usual combination except in the form of a kidnapping.’
Emmy gasped at his words and Dart watched as the colour drained from her face.
‘How old were you?’
‘Five.’ The one word was barely audible but Dart could hear her. Even over the rumble of the trucks and the noises from the rest of the people in the transport he could hear her and he realised it was because his heart was joined with hers. Emmy had become a part of him, a part of his vision, a part of his sense of smell, a part of his hearing, his speech. Her hand started trembling in his but he had one arm around her, holding her close, before it could take hold.
‘Oh, Emmy.’ He couldn’t even begin to imagine what she’d gone through. Kidnapped at five years of age! No wonder she didn’t like guns. He eased her back slightly. ‘Did they hurt you? Were you…?’
‘No. I was only taken for twenty-four hours. My father quickly agreed to pay the ransom. I had one night away from my parents and I was drugged for most of it so I don’t remember a lot.’
Dart closed his eyes against the heartbreak he felt for her younger self. The poor child. Confused. Disoriented. Scared beyond belief. ‘How did they get to you?’
Emmy let out a slow breath and eased back from his hold, still making sure he could hear her properly. ‘OK, I’ll say this quickly. I was being driven to school. Patrick, my driver, stopped the car for some reason and all I remember was him getting out and a man climbing into the back of the car. He had a mask over his face and a gun in his hand. Another man climbed into the driver’s seat and then…I…Everything after that is blurry.’
She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. ‘My father paid the money. A private investigator who my father kept on retainer found me and brought me home. My nanny was beside herself. Crying. Welcoming me with opened arms. Patrick, my driver, was in the hospital. I remember Nanny taking me to visit him. My parents…’ Emmy stopped, her eyes stinging with tears, her throat closing up.
She bit her lip to try and control her emotions as she breathed in and out again, knowing she had to share this devastating part of her life with Dart if there was ever any possibility of a future for them. ‘They…uh…weren’t even there when I came home. Doctors came to check me out, to make sure I was all right. I saw my father two days later. He told me it was unfortunate what had happened but that he’d laid aside a sum of money specifically for such purposes for both my brother and myself.’
She shook her head and shrugged, an angry lone tear sliding down her cheek. ‘No hug. No reassurance for a scared little girl. My mother and I have never spoken of it. It was just another one of those things that was pushed aside as not important. I’d been kidnapped. They’d paid the money. I’d been returned. End of story.’
Dart was horrified. ‘But the police?’
‘Were never involved. As far as I know, the kidnappers were never brought to justice but after that I was ripped from the school that I’d loved so much and sent to a boarding school that had twenty-four-hour security.’
‘But…you were five.’
‘And a nuisance to my parents. For years I believed that being kidnapped was my fault, that I was punished for it.’
Dart raked a hand through his hair, his heart bleeding for the small child and the pain and confusion she must have felt. ‘How long were you at boarding school?’
‘Until I’d finished. The only times I saw my mother was when she took me to luncheons or functions so I could learn to be a proper young lady. Deportment, elocution and etiquette until I turned eighteen. By then I’d realised I needed more…more than fine-art exhibitions or museum openings.
‘I had Liam, my personal bodyguard, teach me self-defence, and learning those skills helped me far more than the years of therapy my parents forced me to attend. They gave me deep confidence as well as a belief in myself. I already knew which fork to use and when. I knew how to make polite conversation with heads of state and I was almost suffocating in the box my parents had stuffed me into, and all because some greedy kidnapper thought it was OK to steal me.’ Emmy ground out the last few words, unable to believe the anger she felt, not only towards her parents but towards the kidnapper and just how much that incident had shaped the rest of her life.
‘You’ve called me a poor little rich girl, Dart.’ She laughed without humour. ‘You have no idea just how right you were.’
‘Emmy, I didn’t realise everything you’d been through.’ His admiration for the woman increased rapidly. ‘You’re so strong, so encompassing, so sure of yourself.’ The trucks were turning off now, taking a rougher road as they headed for the next village. Neither Dart nor Emmy noticed.
‘Sure of myself?’ Emmy shook her head. ‘Hardly.’
‘But you are. You see something you want and you don’t hold back, you go for it. You wanted to go to medical school and you went. You wanted to come to Tarparnii and here you are.’
‘I’m not as confident as I make out.’
‘I disagree.’
Emmy closed her eyes tightly for a moment before opening them and saying the words that were in her heart. ‘I’m not strong, Dart. Although I received good grades in med school, I was never sure whether I’d earned them or been awarded the marks. It wasn’t until today when I was able to deliver that baby all by myself that I finally realised that I am a good doctor.’
‘You are, Em. You’re a very good doctor.’
‘But then, when it started to rain, you…shut me out. I’m not strong enough to break down your walls, Dart. I’m more than willing to listen to anything you have to say, to support you, to be there for you because I…I…’ She stopped and took a calming breath before whispering softly, ‘I love you.’
Dart stared at her. The trucks slowed down and finally came to a halt. He didn’t speak and Emmy closed her eyes, knowing she’d made a mistake in telling him of her true feelings. The other personnel in the truck instantly started to move but Dart stayed where he was, staring into Emmy’s gorgeous blue eyes, eyes that were now filled with confusion and doubt.
‘What?’ he prompted as though he hadn’t heard her properly.
She shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter now. We’re here.’
‘We’ll let the others go first.’
Now that the engine had stopped, there was less of a bubble surrounding them as people shifted past them, starting to heft the medical boxes out of the truck. She felt highly selfconscious, biting her lip and wishing she’d kept her mouth shut.
‘Emmy,’ he said when it was just the two of them left in the truck. ‘Are you sure? I know that might sound like an odd question given what you’ve just declared but—’
‘You probably think that I don’t know what I’m feeling, that I’m simply infatuated with you,’ she interjected, not wanting to have this conversation but wanting him to realis
e that she did know her own mind. ‘That because we’re out in the jungle, away from the usual trappings of my life, that once we get back to Australia, I’ll realise what I feel for you isn’t really real.’
‘I’ve seen it happen too many times,’ Dart defended softly, feeling like an absolute heel for not being able to respond the way she would have hoped. ‘People come here. They work in close, isolated situations and bonds start to form, relationships grow and before you know it, they’re ready to commit to a lifetime together that nothing will ever tear apart. Then they return home and within weeks of getting back they realise their mistake and go their separate ways. It happens all the time.’
‘And so you just presume that I’m like that?’ She was stung by his words, realising that he was trying to let her down gently. ‘That a woman who has only ever been loved by her domestic employees wouldn’t know what real love is so therefore how can she profess, after only a few days, to being in love with you? That I have no depth of feeling? That I don’t long, with all my heart, for you to say those words back to me? That I am so shallow?’
Emmy shifted from his arms and stood as she continued speaking. ‘I love you, Dart. Nothing you say or do is ever going to change that. This is a forever love and I know that because I have never felt this way about anyone.’ Emmy shoved her hands into the pockets of her designer jeans and without another word stepped from the truck, heading over to help the others, far away from him.
He made his way into the village. The welcoming ceremony for baby J’tagnan was already under way, the babe being held high in the air by the village elder for all to see. Women were placing leis over the mother’s head, welcoming her back to their home and praising her for the good work in bringing another strong male into their community. There was much cheering, clapping and whooping. Everyone was very happy.
Except Emmy.
Dart watched her as she stood near her crew, clapping along, but he could tell she wasn’t really enjoying the festivities and he knew that was his fault. He should go to her, tell her that she meant a great deal to him but he knew she wouldn’t feel the same way once they were back home.
Still, he owed her an apology. Her feelings were her own and if she chose to give them or share them, he still had to respect that. The fact that she meant a lot to him was evident by the way he didn’t seem able to keep his hands to himself. Since he’d met her, the large void he’d carried in his life for the past six years hadn’t seemed as painful. That much he freely acknowledged and he needed to ensure his lack of appropriate response to her declaration hadn’t hurt the woman who meant a great deal to him.
As he headed towards Emmy, he was stopped by several of the villagers, holding his hands in theirs in a form of welcome and thanks. The Tarparniians were quiet, proud people but they knew that it was Dart who had taken care of J’tagnan and his mother, ensuring that neither had died.
He accepted their thanks, he smiled and spoke quietly as he slowly made his way towards where Emmy was standing, only to find when he reached her crew that she’d disappeared. Dart frantically searched the area for her but unsuccessfully. Where had she gone?
Tarvon was standing near the film crew and noticed Dart’s face. ‘She’s over there,’ he said with a large smile as he pointed to a clearing in the lush green trees. Dart saw Emmy, her back straight and proud, walking away from him.
‘Thanks,’ he murmured, and quickly headed in her direction, his earlier hesitancy disappearing in his need to catch her. ‘Emmy?’ he called, but either she didn’t hear him over the noise of the celebration or she was ignoring him. His heart leapt into his throat. Was he too late to apologise? Had he made her too mad?
‘Emerson,’ he called again, a little louder, his long strides helping him to catch up to her, closing the distance between them. This time she stopped and turned and Dart could see the tears glistening in her eyes. Guilt instantly racked him because he knew he was responsible for making her upset.
He half expected her to square her shoulders, gently brush away the tears, lift her chin, her posture perfect, as he’d already seen her do several times. But she didn’t.
‘What now, Dart?’ Even more tears welled in her eyes as she looked up at him. She blinked once, twice, her vision blurring, her lashes wet with the tears that were now overflowing onto her cheeks. ‘Do you need more evidence of my feelings? To know that even with all my debutante and finishing-school training, I still can’t pull myself together enough to be around for J’tagnan’s happy homecoming? I hate feeling out of control and you’ve made me feel this way. You’ve brushed my feelings aside, content just to hold my hand, to kiss me, to say that you’ll protect me, when in actual fact you’re only planning on doing those things until we leave Tarparnii.’
She worked hard to keep her voice strong, to get the words out that she needed to say. So many times in the past, in so many different circumstances, she’d bitten her tongue, she’d held the words back, she’d been the perfect hostess, always polite, never emotional. Well, not this time.
‘I love you, Dart. I love you, and if you don’t want that love, fine. You don’t have to have it but it also means that from this point onwards you don’t have any of me. I will not be some toy, some pawn you use. I’ve been used enough. I’ve been pushed and pulled in one direction or another my entire life and I’ve decided that enough is enough.’
‘And you don’t think you’re a strong woman,’ he stated clearly.
She brushed impatiently at the tears before spreading her arms wide. ‘I don’t feel strong. I’m standing here. Crying in front of you. Begging for affection.’ She shook her head again. ‘Why is it that I always have to beg for affection? Why am I always the one who is doing the chasing, especially when I never end up catching anything but indifference?’ She hiccupped a few times before covering her face with her hands. ‘I’m a fool. That’s what I am.’
‘You’re not a fool.’ His words were vehement. ‘You are not a fool, Emmy. You’re incredible. You’re wonderful. You’re powerful, and I’m sorry.’
‘Sorry?’
‘For not believing you meant every word you’ve ever said to me.’
‘So…you believe that I love you?’
‘Yes.’
‘That it’s not just an infatuation? That it’s not just a holiday fling?’
He paused. ‘Your feelings are yours. I should never have discounted them.’ Dart wanted to haul her into his arms, to wipe away her tears, to press his mouth to hers and never let her go. ‘I couldn’t allow myself to believe that you loved me because I didn’t think I deserved it.’
‘Deserved…?’ Emmy was slightly confused and removed her hands from her face, accepting the tissue he held out to her.
‘Your love. I didn’t think I deserved a second chance at happiness and made myself believe that what you felt for me was only a passing infatuation. That it wouldn’t last.’
‘Second chance? So you have lost someone dear to you.’
Dart nodded. It was time. Time to open up the past and share it with this special woman. ‘Six years ago. A raging bush fire ripped through the countryside where my parents lived. It tore the place apart, the flames huge, like a towering inferno. I’d gone home for Christmas, taking my…my fiancée with me.’
Emmy had a quick mind and she realised in an instant what Dart was saying. His parents. Family and friends and…his fiancée. He’d lost too many people, maybe the three people he’d cared about most, in one of the most horrific fires their country had ever seen. She remembered the fires. She remembered seeing pictures of the devastation. She’d been working overseas in England at the time but it hadn’t stopped her from sympathising with the plight of her countrymen. Now she discovered that the man she loved had lost those who had been most dear to him in those very fires.
‘Oh, Dart.’ Emmy put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him. His arms came instantly around her, holding her close, grateful for her touch.
‘That’s
why I couldn’t lose you. I needed to know you were safe,’ he murmured, kissing her soundly. ‘You’ve come to mean so much to me in such a short time, Emmy. For years I’ve carried around the loss of Marta and my parents. They left an enormous void in my heart, one I thought would never be filled. I’ve lived with my loneliness, wishing I’d been able to do more, wishing I’d been there with them at the end, but I wasn’t. I’d been called back to the city for a couple of days. They were fleeing the fires, driving away from the danger…but they weren’t quick enough.’ He broke off and pulled back from her, still holding her hands in his.
‘In one brief, devastating moment I lost everyone I loved. It left an enormous hole inside me. For a long time I had no idea how to cope with my loneliness, the guilt I felt, even though I know there was nothing I could have done to help them. I’ve come here to Tarparnii ever since and I have to say that being here, helping these people, it does go a long way to helping ease my pain.’
‘But it never completely goes away,’ she stated.
‘Correct.’
‘Dart.’ She looked into his eyes. ‘I know that feeling. The one where you’re surrounded by people but still feel so hollow, so alone deep down inside.’
Dart remembered how she’d told him about her family life, how she’d been raised in a household devoid of love. Yes, she understood that feeling of loneliness and even though they’d walked very different paths, they’d ended up at the same place. Perhaps it had been inevitable that they meet. It was as though their lives had taken different twists and turns but both of them had ended up here, at this moment in time, together in each other’s arms.
‘I’m sorry you’ve had so much pain in your life,’ he murmured, drawing her closer again.
