As Good as the First Time

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As Good as the First Time Page 5

by K. M. Jackson


  Liv squeezed her arms tight and squelched down the sigh that was tempted to escape.

  Sugar Lake. It was such a big part of her, but she had to make sure that, though she was going back, she kept her feelings where they were. In her past. This was about helping out and getting her mind sorted to think about her future. The rug being pulled out from under her so abruptly with her job and with Damon had reminded her she’d become complacent. She’d failed to look ahead and plan properly. She should have seen it coming with both the job and Damon. As for her job, she’d restructured the department, so she definitely should have seen her position being eliminated. And as for Damon, he was just another in the line of men who had claimed to have loved her, but disappeared right when she thought they would step up and be there.

  And now she was about to head back to where it all began. Sugar Lake. Liv did sigh this time as she shook her head. If you weren’t inclined to get the message, God, the universe, whatever, was going to keep pounding it at you until you good and well did. She looked up and out the window at the sky and the fast-passing treetops. I’m starting to hear now, she thought. Message received. Loud and clear.

  She closed her eyes and let a vision come to her. Young love. Kissing by a moonlit lake. She hoped coming back wouldn’t stir up the heartache she’d left by the lake, long ago. But Aunt Joyce did need the help, and it was time she faced her past. See where it all began so she could once and for all let the past go. Leave it at the lake, where it should be.

  Besides, that young love had moved on. Out of Sugar Lake to live his happy life, with his happy wife, and she assumed happy kid. That’s how it was done, wasn’t it? Liv needed to get out of the past and do the same. What she’d been doing so far was a poor act at pretending to do so. She smiled to herself. It would be good to go back.

  Just then, a motorcycle roared by them on the passenger side, and Liv got another flashback of the carefree young girl she used to be. When trust was still a word that she wholeheartedly believed in. And hope was something she clung to strongly. She closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in deep as she remembered the feeling of the wind whipping around their bodies, the intense exhilaration mixed with a tingle of excitement and anticipation as the world whizzed by and they sped up to outrun it. Moving fast toward their dreams of the future. The innocent thrill of hope and trust as she wrapped her arm around his trim waist and rested her head on his wide, strong back. He’d made the younger her feel so sure and so secure that she would have gladly ridden off with him into forever. Liv couldn’t help but wonder now, all these years later, if she’d ever feel that free again.

  “Woman, where were you?”

  Liv snapped back to reality as her sister’s voice hit sharply against her eardrums.

  “Huh? What are you talking about? I’m right here,” she said.

  “Uh, no, you weren’t. Because if you were, you would’ve heard me calling your name three times and asking if you thought the next exit was a good one for me to take to go and pee. There’s no way I can hold it for the next couple of hours until we get to Sugar Lake. Besides, I can use a Coke and something carby to keep me going. That breakfast sandwich I had has long worn off.”

  Liv shrugged. “You’re a grown woman, Drea. No need to ask me. If you’ve got to go, choose a place and stop. Besides, you’re driving.”

  Drea gave an arched brow. “No need to get testy. I was just being polite. I know how you are about rest stops. You like your places all fancy. Besides, I didn’t want to waver from your planned agenda.”

  “Don’t start. This has been a long-enough ride.”

  Her sister smiled at her. Big and beaming and dang it, Liv was pulled in. “Don’t you just love it, all this sisterly bonding?” She winked.

  “So now you’ve got jokes. Great,” Liv said. Her expression was deadpan, but inside she silently chuckled.

  Having switched over the driving at the last rest stop, Liv stopped short from humming her favorite show tune and turned the radio down low, causing Drea to sit up in the passenger seat and become alert. “What is it? Why’d you turn the music down? Are there cops on our tail?”

  Liv shook her head. “No, we’re just about to come into town. And I really wanted to take it in. It’s been so long and all.”

  Liv was grateful for her sister’s quiet as they eased off the highway service road. They took a few rights and then a left down a long road past the now-faded Pepsi sign on Turner’s old mill and then there they were. Suddenly it was as if the sky got brighter, and wider, and the air was more fragrant, though Liv knew it was her imagination as she looked to the left and saw the green-and-white sign that said, WELCOME TO SUGAR LAKE WHERE THE AIR IS SWEET BUT THE PEOPLE ARE SWEETER.

  “Holy moly, this place has really changed,” Drea said from Liv’s side.

  Liv couldn’t help but nod her agreement. The main street was not all that much to talk about when they were kids. It had a few shops: The post office, general store, and the ice-cream shop were the biggest attractions. The street in front of them was now bustling with cars, stopping every few feet to get in where they could when a metered parking spot became available. Liv couldn’t get over the fact that there were now multiple restaurants, at least three small office buildings that she could see, not to mention a full lineup of boutiques along Main Street and its outskirts. And check that fancy looking new chain Roasters coffee place. “What happened to the quaint, off-the-map Sugar Lake where I spent all my lazy childhood summers?”

  “Well, this sure ain’t it,” Drea said.

  “No, it sure isn’t,” Liv said. “Ma and Dad said it had been built up a little, but this is definitely not what I expected. No wonder Aunt Joyce needs help in the shop. With all these tourists milling about, how can she be expected to keep up with business?”

  “Well, we’ll see about that shortly, I guess,” Drea said as they were nearing the bakeshop. “Or maybe not,” she added at the same time they both saw the heavy backup of traffic and the fire trucks up ahead.

  “Looks like they’ve got some kind of situation up there, close to the shop. Hope no one’s hurt,” Liv said.

  Drea leaned forward. “Yeah, that is kind of close. I know I was young the last time we were here, but wasn’t Aunt Joyce’s shop right across the street from the general store?”

  And with that, Liv’s eyes shifted back and forth from the general store up ahead to where the fire trucks were parked. “Oh no, don’t tell me it’s the shop,” she said, her heart plummeting to her stomach with fear.

  Chapter 4

  Liv quickly whipped into the first open space she saw, and she and her sister went running up ahead to Goode ’N Sweet, their family’s bakeshop.

  Making their way through the small crowd of onlookers, Liv and Drea entered the shop, wide-eyed and anxious. It all looked so much the same. Only smaller. Funny how time does that to places, Liv thought. And thankfully this one was not in the midst of a raging fire. No, all Liv caught from a whiff of the air was the old familiar smell of warm butter, vanilla, and peaches. She frowned. It was a bit tinged by the smell of burnt crust. A slight shiver waved through Liv as the overwhelming feeling of somehow stepping into a snapshot of a moment from a time long past came over her. She quickly blinked to dislodge herself from the odd sensation and take a quick inventory.

  There were the same old square wooden tables with what looked to be the same mismatched tablecloths thrown over them. The only further decorations were the little dime store vases that held plastic flowers she was sure hadn’t been updated in years. At the back of the shop was the counter, illuminated and filled to the brim with her aunt’s pastries, though it was clear its better days had long past. Even squinting, Liv could barely make out the rose blush of her aunt Joyce’s cherry pie through the now slightly cloudy glass.

  Wow, Aunt Joyce really could use some help, Liv thought as she took in the obvious toll that the years had taken on the old bakeshop. Glancing around, she could see that the curtains th
at were once so bright and cheery, now held a sad reminder of a faded glory of time gone by.

  But just then, quickly pulling her out of her bordering-on-sad musings, a sharp voice could be heard over her temporary melancholy. “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming in here telling me what I should be doing, young man. Don’t you know to respect your elders? Why, if I wasn’t a God-fearing woman I’d show you just how much mobility I have left in this old hip of mine by sending my foot clear up your—”

  Liv looked toward Drea. “Ouch! Well, if she’s giving someone a good dressing down, that must mean she’s not that bad off. And despite the fire trucks it doesn’t look as if there’s any real damage to this place.”

  Drea looked around, then shook her head. “No real damage? Did you get a good look at the place? By the looks of things around here, I’d say there is plenty of damage. A fire wouldn’t be the worst thing. Maybe insurance money would do this run-down place good.”

  Liv’s eyes went wide, and she grabbed at her sister’s forearm. “Hush. You can’t go saying something like that out loud. Especially within earshot of Aunt Joyce. Of course, I noticed the shop is a little run-down,” she whispered close to Drea’s ear, “but that’s not for us to critique, and you know Aunt Joyce would be highly offended if we brought it up. So you’re going to keep those opinions to yourself. That is, if you don’t want to be kicked out on your rear before you’re even let in the place and have gotten a piece of pie.”

  Drea pulled her arm sharply away from her sister. “What, do you think I’m stupid or something? Of course I won’t say anything to Aunt Joyce.” Drea turned away and looked around. “At least not yet.”

  Liv slid her a side-eye.

  “Don’t start,” Drea said. “I’m just kidding. Stop being so paranoid and, once again, stop thinking the worst of me. I wish you’d give me just a little credit once in a while.”

  Drea was right. Of course she wouldn’t say anything to Aunt Joyce. Liv was sure that deep down she cared about their aunt’s feelings just as much as Liv did. She may be impulsive, but her sister wasn’t malicious.

  Just then Aunt Joyce’s voice came at them loudly, once again from the back kitchen area. “Now, if you’ll excuse me I’ve got more work to do, and as you can see plenty of cleaning up after you all traipsed in here like a band of wild buffaloes.”

  Liv looked at her sister. “Well, whoever it is she’s getting on, I guess we should go back there and save them. Maybe we can be a distraction.”

  Drea nodded in agreement, following her sister though, Liv could tell, barely focusing as she eyed the cute firefighters that were exiting the kitchen area with their equipment. Liv almost couldn’t blame her sister for her lack of focus. But still, their aunt was waiting.

  “Really, girl?” Liv said. “We are on assignment here. Think you can focus?”

  “Oh, I can focus all right,” Drea said from behind her sister. “But what’s the harm in a little multitasking?” she added, while giving a particularly saucy grin to quite the handsome cutie built like a pro wrestler with deep eyes and a boy-next-door smile that signaled nothing but trouble. Whew! Oh boy. Sugar Lake truly had changed. Did they even grow guys like this back when they used to visit? Liv gave her head a shake as she let out a breath and continued to make her way toward her aunt’s voice.

  “We’re here!” Liv said brightly, hoping to distract her aunt from the reprimand she was giving and the chaos in the back kitchen. But when it came to distractions, chaos, and surprises, the joke was fully on Liv, as her aunt and the firefighter with her turned and looked at them in unison.

  “So now who’s losing focus?” It was Drea’s voice. Or at least Liv thought it was Drea. The voice came at her faint and hollow like from a faraway tunnel, and it took all Liv had to concentrate on the words as she took in what, no who, she was seeing standing in front of her in her aunt’s kitchen. She knew she should be focused on the older woman whom she was there for. The one with the bottle-dyed auburn curls, cat eye glasses with the “now where did I put those?” neck string, and put-upon expression. But she couldn’t. No, all her focus was on the tall, broad-shouldered fireman in front of Aunt Joyce, the one who Liv was sure Aunt Joyce had moments ago threatened to give a swift kick in the rear. The very same one who, all those years ago, Liv herself would have very much liked to have given a swift kick. He was the last person she expected or wanted to see while she was back in Sugar Lake. Clayton “I’ll love you forever,” though forever turned out to be only for whenever, Morris.

  It was as if all the air was sucked from her lungs as everything around Liv seemed to whirl around, then stand still, then zoom in until it reached a tiny pinpoint. She could hear her own breath become a low, quiet hum as she blinked. Her Clayton Morris. Or at least a version of her Clayton Morris was here. The Clayton Morris she remembered from twelve years ago had clearly been the boy version of the man before her now. This person, this firefighter, had more height and muscle and, she could tell even from the space across the expanse of the kitchen floor, somehow more intensity. But clearly this Clayton Morris was just as surprised as this Olivia Gale at the blast-from-the-past visitor. In his intense, deep brown stare she saw mirrors of her own shock glimmering back at her. But she saw something more when he blinked and recognition dawned like the first glistening sparkles on Sugar Lake. It flipped her mind in on itself, and it made her feel as if she were seeing him for the first time all over again. As if summer break never ended.

  God, how very like Clayton. To turn every moment into a first. He was her first crush; her first love; her first kiss. Her first, well, everything. Yeah, he was the one who started it all. Including the first to break her heart. When it came to Liv’s pattern of failed relationships, Clayton Morris was subject zero.

  Liv sucked in a deep and much-needed breath as she struggled to gain her equilibrium. What is he doing here? According to the auntie-to-mom newsline, Clayton Morris was no longer a resident of Sugar Lake and hadn’t been since he’d left all those years before to marry the girl he’d dated after Liv. Well, technically, there wasn’t so much dating involved. More like a quickie marriage after a surprise pregnancy, after leaving Liv brokenhearted by reneging on his promises and running off to the military. But no, she wasn’t bitter at all, thank you very much. Liv quickly plastered on her brightest smile.

  “Livy! Drea! You two made it!” Aunt Joyce said, her voice booming with happiness and exuberance, the argument they had walked in on seemingly forgotten as she hobbled their way, leaning on her cane with one open arm.

  Both sisters stepped forward at the same time to meet her more than halfway. Liv reached her first and leaned down only slightly to wrap herself in her aunt’s warm and immediately familiar embrace. Momentarily pushing annoying thoughts of Clayton Morris away, she let herself enjoy the moment as she took in the smell of sugar and maple mixed with a hint of gardenia that always reminded her of the woman she loved and admired so much. Liv swallowed as she blinked back tears that she didn’t expect to well in her eyes. Why did she stay away so long, and why did time fly by so darned fast?

  “Stop hogging the hugs and let me get some of that!” Drea’s voice came from over her shoulder, pulling her out of her musings and causing her to reluctantly tear herself away from her aunt’s embrace.

  The chuckle from Aunt Joyce made her smile. “Now, girls, don’t go to fighting over me already. Listening to talk like that could give an old lady a swelled head, and everybody knows we don’t need my ego to get any bigger.” She gave a little nudge with her head toward Drea. “Now, get on over here, girl, and let me greet you properly. Look at you, just as pretty as you want to be. And not big as a minute. I hear you trying to be a model or get into acting up there in New York? You sure got the looks for it. You know they got all them movie studios over in Atlanta, or so I hear. Either way, I bet you breaking all the boys’ hearts.”

  “If only it were so easy, Aunt Joyce,” Drea said as she stepped into Aunt Joyce’s arms.
r />   Aunt Joyce hugged her, then pulled back and took them both by the hands, grinning wide and looking them over. “Oh yes, both you girls are looking mighty fine. And you, Little Miss Livy, I see you still got that gorgeous smile and that clear skin, and with those curves, yes, seems like everything went and hit you in all the right places too, just as I knew they would.”

  Aunt Joyce’s frank appraisal of Liv’s looks brought heat to her cheeks, made worse by the fact that she could feel Clayton Morris actively taking in the exchange. What could he possibly be thinking after so many years of not seeing her? Not to mention she hardly looked her best after spending a good portion of the day on the road.

  “I wouldn’t go that far, Aunt Joyce. But thanks for being so kind,” Liv said.

  “Oh hush. You know at my age I don’t go in for wasted words just to be kind. Just accept the truth when you hear it.”

  With that, Aunt Joyce seemed to remember all the goings-on in the shop and people surrounding them as she turned back to the man who was the source of her annoyance when they walked in. “Don’t they look fine, Clayton? I know you remember both my nieces. Especially Livy here.”

 

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