by Nigel Benn
My last two fights were with Steve Collins on 6 July 1996 and then again on 9 November. For that last fight, I felt my pride was at stake, and I went there intending to win. Carolyne was in the audience with a friend, though, and had a premonition that I was going to lose that night, because as I got into the ring, I scanned the crowd and picked her out. I’d never, ever looked for her during a fight before, not throughout my entire career. When I saw her, I winked at her, and she just turned to her friend and said in a quiet voice that was almost drowned by the sound of the crowd, ‘Nigel’s going to lose tonight.’ And that was my last fight.
I couldn’t disagree with my corner when they threw in the towel as the bell rang for round seven. But I couldn’t believe the reaction of the crowd. During the fight, they’d been cheering me on every time I got an opportunity. When I called it a day, they couldn’t stop booing. But that didn’t bother me — I knew I’d had enough, and I knew it was time to tell the crowd that they wouldn’t be seeing me in the ring again. I threw my gloves towards the spectators, and grabbed the microphone.
‘Can I have a few words, please?’
The crowd responded with booing.
Again, I asked, ‘Can I have a few words?’ Still the crowd booed.
It was then that Steve Collins stole the mike from me. ‘Give him his due,’ he shouted above the din. ‘He’s the greatest fighter in the history of British boxing!’
Now that got their attention. The crowd hushed as I took the microphone back.
‘It’s time to call it day,’ I told them. ‘The one thing I like doing is pleasing the British public. I can’t take it any more. Thank you.’
And with that, I walked away from the ring. It was over, the end of a great career, and I felt good. I could look back on my life with pride, and enjoy the memory of what I had achieved. I had absolutely no regrets when I hung up my gloves that night — I’d made millions, I was famous, I was still young and I hadn’t been bashed to a pulp. My head was still screwed on straight and I was madly in love.
I knew I wouldn’t miss the gruelling training, the pain, the pre-fight nerves. But more than anything, I knew I wouldn’t miss distressing the people I loved every time I stepped in the ring. And I knew that I wouldn’t have to worry about money. Through my boxing, I’d earned something like £10 million — but at least £4 million of that had gone to the tax man. Still, there was money in the bank and I could afford to take it easy. I was looking forward to being able to spend some time with Carolyne and the kids. But if I thought I was in for a bit of peace and quiet, though, I couldn’t be more wrong. Even after the Collins fight, after I’d retired, there were people ready to knock me.
For ages, Prince Nazeem Hamed had been mouthing off about me. He came into my gym once in Tenerife, strutting around like he owned the place, and I had to tell him, ‘Out, mate! Get out of my gym.’ He was giving it large, and I just thought, ‘Nah, mate, don’t come in here, giving it all large. Show me some proper respect.’
He might have all those Mickey Mouse guys around him, licking his ass — ‘Oh Nazeem, Nazeem!’ — but he’s not going to get that treatment from me. What a bunch of pricks! And then you see them carrying him into the ring, like he’s some kind of king and they’re his slaves. Have some respect for yourself!
And then, after the last Collins fight, he comes out in the papers slagging me off, saying, ‘You can break my legs and rip my arms off, but I would still come out fighting.’ What a load of shit — try it on with me, and I will break your legs and rip your arms off and, at the end of the day, the public caned him for what he was saying. Maybe if he’d done half of what I’d done they’d have taken their hat off to him, but they all know! I’ve fought everybody, but Hamed hasn’t had nearly the same calibre of opponents. Everyone knows that there are fighters out there who will annihilate him, and he’s just avoiding them. If you’re meant to be the best in the world, Nazeem, then go and fight some of the top Americans. Prove yourself, like I did. Then you can run your mouth off. But in the boxing fraternity, we all know that he’s fighting nobodies.
When I saw him at the Brit Awards, I gave him a piece of my mind: ‘Let me tell you now, I’ll punch you up in the air, you little shit.’
Does he reckon he wants to exchange punches with me? I’ll screw him up in a little ball and throw him in the waste paper bin.
In fact, that evening at the Brit Awards was a funny one in other ways, too. I bumped into all sorts of people — Robbie Williams being one of them. I’d met him before when we were on a flight back from Manchester together. Now, I’m not a great flyer at the best of times. In fact, I hate it. Give me 12 rounds with some big feller any time rather than a bumpy flight!
On that particular occasion with Robbie, there was some violent turbulence, and the plane was bouncing all over the place. So when the plane shook, I grabbed Robbie’s hand! He must have thought, Hey, what’s this big guy doing, grabbing my hand like that?
I just said, ‘Sorry, mate,’ but I’m thinking, What a fucking idiot! Oh, man, I can’t believe I’ve just done that!
I manage to settle down, and then we go through another patch of turbulence, and I grab his hand again! I couldn’t believe it.
So we’re at the Brit Awards, and Carolyne’s got me going up to all the stars asking for their autographs for the kids, and she plays this joke on me, saying that Robbie Williams knew I was around and wanted to have a chat. So we go to his dressing room and knock on the door — and it’s only then that Carolyne tells me that he’s not really been asking for me.
I’m like, ‘Oh no, I don’t believe it,’ and then the door opens and some guy asks me what I want.
‘Just tell Robbie that Nigel called round, will you?’ I asked him.
‘Yeah, sure mate,’ said the guy at the door, obviously thinking I’m just some ordinary fan.
But later on, Robbie tracks me down.
‘Nige, mate,’ and we get on like a house on fire. I had to get him to go and tell the guy at the door who I was, though, because I was so embarrassed!
I also knew that Eubank was going to be there that evening, and I was ready to whack him if he came on all lairy with me. I meant it, too. My boxing days were finished, but if he came on with all that shit, I was ready to up him. So on the night, we found ourselves in the changing room, and my heart was beating hard because I thought he was going to come on all lairy.
But just the opposite happened. He came up to me, I shook his hand, and then he gives me a big hug! And that was it. I just thought, Wow, this is a different man. And we got on like a house on fire. I couldn’t believe it — here was the man who’d said so many bad things about me, whom I’d caned in public, whom I’d been in the ring with in some of the most gruelling fights of my career, and we were chatting away backstage at the Brit Awards like old buddies. We even exchanged numbers, and he called me the next day. And a year ago we hated each other!
I don’t really see him now, and we’ll never get that close, but my opinion of him changed that night. Now I think, good luck to him, more power to the man. I can’t knock a guy who’d defeated me. I’ve got to say, though, I still think he’s a bit weird.
When I look back on my life, I realise that it’s always been a bit like that. There are so many hangers-on that you can never tell who’s your friend and who isn’t. I’m not saying that Eubank and I are ever going to be like brothers, but things like that make you wonder whom you can trust. My whole boxing career has been a succession of people coming and going, and sometimes people really surprise you when they show their true colours.
Take Pete De Freitas, for example. When he started working with me we got on well, everything was cool. And when I was fighting, he lived the high life, flashing his gold cards everywhere, money rolling in largely because he was looking after Nigel Benn. He bought Elton John’s Bentley and all that. With a lot of people, they think they run the show but, at the end of the day, he was was a sort of gofer. He wanted to feel important. When I
quit the ring after the last Steve Collins fight, he tried to persuade me to carry on in the fight game. By this time I’m all fucked up, I had all sorts of problems and stuff, but he still wanted me to go on. That’s how we fell out.
Peter De Freitas is still helped by my name — I got a letter from him a while back, all fucking grovelling and which he should be embarrassed to have sent me — it had my credentials on the letterhead! He used to have a big house, big car — now he’s got shit.
He also thinks he’s fucking hard but if he wants to try it on with me, he knows where I am, and he can come and find me. And I’ll sort him out, because I was the one who helped to put him where he was.
For a while he was looking after my two cousins who are in the fight game, and it was not something I was happy about. Now I’m looking after them, but if it wasn’t me then they should be with Frank Warren and Jimmy Tibbs, the best promoter and trainer in the business. I love Jimmy to death, even though we split before the end of my career.
Jimmy Tibbs’s son, though, is a different kettle of fish. When I watched the video of the McClellan fight, I saw him appear to jump up and cheer my opponent when he put me down — I thought it was maybe because I didn’t train with his dad any more. It doesn’t bother me, though; I know I’ve achieved more in my life than he ever will. Things like that just make me more determined. My disagreement with Jimmy’s son doesn’t change how I feel about his dad though — he’s the very best trainer I ever had, and my love and respect go out to him.
You can tell genuine people because they just say ‘Hi,’ and then leave you alone. They’re not on the make. Not that I mind chatting to members of the British public who come up to me in the street. They’re the ones who put me where I am today, and if I can’t spare a few minutes of my time to talk to them, then there must be something wrong with me.
I’m lucky to have come from such a loving, protective family. My brothers — I love them all to death, but they’re all so different.
Dermot is the oldest. He used to work for me, and for my Dad, and he’s a real grafter. He’s a very happy-go-lucky guy, though, just going through life trying to enjoy himself without hurting anybody else. What he does need to do, though, is to learn to swim. He was round my house a while ago when we all ganged up on him and threw him in the pool. He starts swimming like the man from Atlantis —underwater! I had to jump in wearing all my clothes and rescue him! So that Christmas, all he got from his brothers was some armbands and a pair of flip-flops!
John I was in the army with, which I just loved. He’s such fun to be around, really funny guy. But he works hard, too, a real law-abiding citizen. Danny’s very quiet, but you know what they say about the quiet ones — silent, but deadly! He’s just had a lovely little boy who he’s called Orlando.
Mark’s the real character of the family — a real Arthur Daley, making jokes about everyone and everything. I don’t see him very often, which is a real shame. And Anthony, he’s my kid brother and the real brain-box of the family. He’s the most intelligent brother I’ve ever seen! I was so proud of him when I went to see him at his graduation, all decked out in one of those flat hats and everything. He’s done so well for himself, I’ll be asking him for sub soon! He spent a couple of years living at my house, a while back. The funniest thing about Anthony is that he’s the spitting image of Lennox Lewis. People come up to him and ask him for his autograph, which sends him berserk — probably because he’s not got Lennox’s money!
But the people who’ve kept this tight-knit family unit together are my Mum and Dad. My Mum is the best in the world. She’s spent so many years looking after people, that she doesn’t like to be without kids all around her. She went through so much stuff when I was at school, I really put her through it, so I am so in debt to her. She has the most beautiful soul, my mother, the loveliest nature anyone could have.
And my Dad, he’s the old power-house, he rules the roost. We argue like cats and dogs, sometimes, but at the end of the day he’s always been the one that wants the best for me. All through my career he’s been right behind me, weeding out the wrong ’uns, and making me get rid of them. He knows what he’s talking about, my Dad — like with my trainers, the only one he ever really liked was Jimmy Tibbs, and there’s no doubt he was right that Jimmy was my best ever trainer. He works hard, because he likes to keep his mind occupied. I’m lucky to have a Dad with such integrity, who speaks his mind and is always looking out for me.
These days, I do have to choose my friends more carefully. My wife Carolyne helps me to do that, and so does my agent, David Simones. David is a lovely, lovely guy whom I’ve known for a long time now. Never once has David tried to harm me, he has always been absolutely loyal, he always showed me utter respect and now eleven years down the road we’re still together. He’s a good man, and I love him to death. I’m also lucky enough to have good friends like Dave and Sandra Maddox, and my dear, dear friends Wayne and Karen. Together, they’ve helped me forge my new life, one which is completely separate from my wild, wonderful, turbulent boxing career.
19
FAMILY MAN
My life has been a constant roller-coaster ride, full of ups and downs, not only in my career, but also in my personal life. I’ve reached heights of happiness and depths of depression. Things have happened to me in my life that make me want to laugh with joy, and other things have made me want to break down and cry — or worse.
At the centre of everything is Carolyne, the most wonderful, compassionate woman I have ever known. When I first met her, I knew that she was different in every way to the women I had known before. From the beginning, she was interested only in the real Nigel Benn, the man behind the image. So many people come up and want to be your friend because they want something from you. Carolyne never asked me for anything.
We have been through some terrible, traumatic times together, and she has always been there for me. Only Carolyne understands the pain I’ve been through — I’m not talking about the pain in the ring, but the unbearable emotional pain you feel in your soul when you find yourself caught in the whirlwind of feelings that can inflict themselves on the life of a man who loves his family more than life itself.
After I split from Sharron, my mind was in turmoil. The depth of my feelings for Carolyne was so strong, but so, too, was my love for my children, Dominic, Sadé and Renée, and half of me wanted my relationship with Sharron to work out, just for their sake. Man, it was ripping me apart. The pain was too much for me to bear. Throughout it all, Carolyne was there beside me. It was her that soaked up all the pain from me when I was going through my lowest point in LA. She took all the hurt from me.
There were times when I was so distraught I’d find myself going back to Sharron. When I think how much that must have hurt Carolyne, it makes me want to weep. But she took it in her stride, and she never did anything to make me think she was anything other than the most wonderful woman in the world.
On one occasion, out in LA, we went through one of those terrible traumatic patches. I told Carolyne that I wanted to try and make it work with Sharron, for the sake of the kids. Carolyne swallowed her pride and accepted it — she was upset, of course, but she acted in such an honourable way.
I had given a load of money — about £300,000 — to Carolyne to look after. After she’d flown back to England from LA, she wrote out a cheque for the money and gave it to my brother John. I was so messed up at the time that I never even thought about the money, but when John told me what she’d done, I was amazed. I’ve known so many people who would just have kept the cash — it made me realise what a special woman she was. Our split only lasted a week — I just didn’t understand at the time how strong my love for her was.
And that wasn’t the only time we’d broken up. On another occasion, I went out to Ibiza and Sharron was there, and I was in such a state I decided I wanted to try and work things out again. Carolyne decided to move out, but she packed all her clothes in black binliners because she didn�
�t want to take anything from me — not even a few suitcases. I finally came to my senses, though, and tracked her down, and she moved back six weeks later.
Our relationship has been so tempestuous, like only the relationship between two people who love each other with all their heart can be. In the early years, it was especially volatile, but now the strength of our love has shown itself for what it is, and we live together with our family in such happiness.
A lot of people are trying to break me and Carolyne up, but it’ll never happen. We’ll never be parted, and I mean that — never. We’re too much alike, and we understand each other perfectly. Even though I’ve made a lot of mistakes, my life would be meaningless without her. Since I’ve been with Carolyne, she’s changed me dramatically. She’s taught me about respect, and about loyalty — especially to women. She’s instilled something profound and true within me, something I have to learn to make grow.
I sometimes think to myself, ‘How would I ever deal with it if she left me?’ I don’t think I could deal with it. Now it’s up to me. She’s taken me as far as she can, and now I’m carrying on with my counselling again. I’m far from being mad, or anything like it, but sometimes I do things I regret — not physically, but mentally — and so often I end up hurting the woman I love, when she’s never done me any harm. Maybe I’m still going through the transition from boyhood to manhood.
But despite the difficult periods, we’ve had some wonderful, happy times together, too. In the early days, we’d go to clubs and have a brilliant time. Now when I hear the music from those times, it brings it all back to me. They were some of the happiest times of my life. I’m always playing a track and saying, ‘Hey, Carolyne, do you remember this one?’ And she’ll smile, and nod, and it’ll remind us both of those days.
