I go back inside and grab a beer and turn on the TV and try to relax. “Ok let's relax. And Man am I hungry!," I tell myself. I plan to grab something out of the fridge in a few minutes. It is 8:30pm. I am sitting on the couch drinking my beer. Thinking about what I am going to eat. Then I notice my putter and ball in the hallway. I always have a putter and a ball there. Often I will practice my putting stroke in the hallway. I have one of those long mats with a ball retriever at the end. I setup the matt and the retriever. I make a putt and it shoots it back to me. I continue to make putts over and over again. I work on my stroke and that little voice in the back of my head is thrilled. I keep putting without stopping. That voice is so happy. And it is making me enjoy every putt. I play games with my putting. If I make this I will win this tournament etc. I am having so much fun for some reason. Finally I lookup and it is 1:00am. “Wow!’, I say to myself as I sit down. I am so confused. “What is going on with me?” I do not understand why I am doing this. I do not understand why I feel like there are two of me. I do not understand this voice in the back of my head. And why it is so enthused with every golf shot. And I do not understand why it is making me have so much fun when I play golf. I know I need to stop but, I still want to putt some more. But finally I get a hold of myself. I drink some water, eat a snack. “I need to get to bed." I tell myself.
I take a shower and I go to bed and I crash. Since I have won the masters last Sunday, I never have any dream when I sleep. But tonight for the first time, I seem to have these strange dreams about living another life. Living a life with a wife and kids, in a small town and working at a normal job. Also I am an amateur golfer who is not very good. But in my dream I love to play golf. They are not strong dreams. I do not really see the faces of the people. But it seems like it is a normal place for me to be and I feel peaceful. I dream of hugging my wife and kids and just not feeling lonely.
Finally I wake up. It is 9:30am. I remember the dream and smile. “Wow that was such peaceful dream” I think to myself. Maybe someday that will happen to me. I lay there in bed thinking about my life. One thing I know about my life is that I have a lonely life. Professional golf can be a great life. However it can be a difficult and lonely life. You travel from town to town. And if you have no family like me. Then you are just flat lonely. If you have a family like a lot of golfers do. Then you are away from them a lot and they feel lonely because they are gone from home so much. I think how nice it would be to have a family and live a normal life. “Oh Well," I tell myself. It is time to get my butt out of bed. I am so hungry. I did not eat hardly anything yesterday. I make some coffee, and cook some breakfast, and have a nice breakfast.
I start thinking about yesterday. “Why was I so excited about playing yesterday?, I ask myself. But then I just stop worrying about it. I start to try to figure out what my plan is the next few days. The last few days has been so crazy, I do not even know what day it is. “Today is Saturday, right?," I think to myself. Then the phone rings and it is my agent Bobby Williams. We chat for awhile he asks how I am doing etc. He says, “OK, you have a golf tournament next week at “Zurich Classic of New Orleans." What day do you want to get there Monday, or Tuesday?," he asked. I tell him that Monday afternoon would be great. That will give me time to relax Monday afternoon, then get to the course Tuesday Morning.
After we hang up, I start thinking that I need to call my caddie Zack and get organized for Tuesday. I have not talked to Zack the last few days. Before I call I reflect on all that we have been through the last few years. Zack has been with me for about seven years now, and he has hung with me through thick and Thin. When I first hired him, I was at the top of my career. I was playing well and I had one win before I hired him. Then had another win about a year later. So the first few years were pretty good, I was usually on the top of the leaderboard, making money and had promising career. But the last 3 years my game has deteriorated and my motivation has also deteriorated. There were times the last three years where I could not pay him his salary, but he hung in there. Life of a professional golfer is tough sometimes, and the life of a caddie is not piece of cake either. The caddies that are fortunate enough to work for a pro who is doing well and making money, then the caddie reaps the benefits of that. But if they are working for a struggling pro, then they have it tough also. A caddie works hard. It is a lot more than carrying the bag. They are out early walking the course checking out the pin placements and the course conditions. They are an advisor to the pro and help in so many ways. Zack is great caddie. He deserves better than me. He is not only my caddie. He is my advisor and my swing coach by default because I do not have one. He is big on health and nutrition so he is my fitness trainer and nutritionist. He also plays the role of psychologist. Somehow, I think he will be playing that role more in the near future, the way things have been going the last few days. But most of all, he is my friend. I feel bad that he has struggled financially the last few years because of me. There were times the last few years where I did not make the cut for tournaments and could not pay him. And the cuts I made, was not a very big paycheck. Typically pay for a caddie is a base salary of $500 to $1000 a week plus a percentage of the purse. Typically 5% of winnings for a player finish outside the top 10 place on the leaderboard. If the player is in the top 10 of the leaderboard then the caddie usually gets 10,% of winnings. And if the player wins first place the caddie gets 10-15% of winnings for. So a caddie can make some pretty good money if he is working for a player who is on the top of the leaderboard on the tournaments. But if they are working for player who cannot make the cut, or is low on the leaderboard and his earnings. Then the caddie feels the pain also. And the last few years that has been the case for me and it has caused financial stress for Zack. He has a wife and two small kids to support. His wife has to work full time and thankfully her parents help with the kids so they do not have to pay for daycare. I am pretty sure that Zack has given serious thoughts the last couple of years about giving up this caddie business and get a normal job so he can support his family. So this Masters win was not only great for me, it was really good for him. And I am more happy for him than I am for me. My paycheck for the Masters was $1,620,000. I paid him 15% which is $243,000, plus I gave him a well deserved bonus of $100,000. So he did well and he deserves it. I am so happy for him and his family. Tears come to my eyes when I think about this. I just hope that I can continue this ride. I hope that my game is at a turning point and I cannot start bring in some success for my financial life and his.
So I pick the phone and call him. It is good to talk to him. I have not talked to him in a few days. We have a good talk. We talked about the Masters. How I came out of nowhere with that eagle. And then those string of birdies. He said he has noticed that the last few weeks I have been hitting the ball better. Then we talked about the last few days, asking me how I liked New York. He joked with me on how much of a dork I looked on TV. We laughed quite a bit. He said I looked like a deer in the Headlight when the cameras were on me. I just laughed with him. I am sure I was pretty dorky looking on TV. He said he is rested and ready for this next week. I told him I will be there Tuesday Morning. He said he will get there Monday night then check out the course. I told that this sounds good, and I will see him then. Before we hung up, he thanked me for the bonus and the big paycheck. At that point I was almost choking up and ready to cry because I was so happy for him. As tears strolled down my cheek I was able to compose myself so he would not know I was close to losing it. I just said “Hey Buddy You deserve it, if it was not for you, I would have never had a chance." “I appreciate that.," he replied. I told him I will make a commitment to him, that I will work hard and try to get back on the right track with my game and hopefully we will both have some success. After we hung up I felt really good and I am looking forward to this next week and hopefully a good turning point in my career. Ok it is Saturday, my body is so tired. What a last few days! Big win and a whirlwind trip to New York then back here at home. Then the last few
days, I seem to have this incredible enthusiasm for golf. I want so bad to go out to the course and hit some balls and play, but my body is so tired, I make a commitment to take it easy. I need to rest my body, eat well and and give my emotions a break. However I do not keep that commitment. I go out to the course again today and I hit a million golf balls on the range. I am having so much fun, I cannot believe it. Every shot I hit I get that thrilling cheer from that voice in the back of my head. That gives me motivation for some reason and makes it fun to hit golf balls again. I also play 18 holes and then go back to the range and hit more balls. I just had a blast. Then I did the same day the next day which was Sunday. I do not understand why I feel this way, but I am having too much fun to worry about it. And the extra practice I am getting seems to be sharpening my game. I am hitting my shots as good as I ever have.
Sunday night after another day of practicing and playing, I am exhausted. But exhausted in a good way. I feel like I have a new attitude with my golf game and I cannot wait to see what my future will hold. I am a little worried about this voice in the back of my head. I just assume it is some emotional high from winning the Masters. For now I will deal with it. Besides it seems to give me a newfound enthusiasm for the game. I get my bags packed and get ready to leave for New Orleans in the morning.
Chapter 5: The Next Tournament
I wake up early and I get up and fix breakfast. I think about the last few days on how I am so motivated to go to the range and hit practice balls, and play golf. I check the time and it is only 7:00am. My flight is not until 1:00pm today. “What a waste of time being here. I could be at the course," I tell myself. My bags are packed and I am ready to go. I decide to go out to the course and hit some balls at the driving range and leave for the airport from there. I hit balls for hours and enjoying every minute of it. That voice or whatever it may be is cheering me along on every shot. I am having a blast. Before I know it is almost time for my flight. I get in my care and make a run for the Airport. I just barely made my flight. I am on my way to the next tournament.
I arrive in New Orleans Monday afternoon for the Zurich Classic of New Orleans. Just a short flight from Orlando. I am curious how things will play out. I know on my two tournament wins that I had a few years ago, it was fun the next tournament because everyone would congratulate me and talk about my win. But I am coming off the win of the Masters! This is uncharted territory for me. “What will it be like?, I ask myself." Monday night I settle into my hotels and relax. I am ready for tomorrow morning.
I get up Tuesday morning eat breakfast and head to the course. I am in tournament mode again and it feels good. Tuesdays are typically a busy day of the the pre-tournament week. First thing I do is register at the tournament office. This is an important step. Sometimes it is forgotten by players and if you do not register by you do not get to play. The people in the office know me and congratulate me. “Wow this is different," I think to myself. Usually I just register and most people do not know who I am because I am a no-named pro. Then I go to the clubhouse to get my locker. The clubhouse is one place that the players get to hang out and just be one of the guys. It's always good to see guys that you know that you may or may not have seen for a while. There is a lot of fun and joking going on in the clubhouse. Tuesdays, everyone is getting settled in. When I saw the guys everyone congratulated me on winning the masters, and of course there was quite a bit of ribbing going on about my TV appearances. They were coming up asking me for my autograph and clowning around. It was pretty fun. Usually the first part of the week guys will hook up for a practice round. I hooked up with a couple of players and I made the threesome.
We got a tee time at 11:00am, so had time to go out and hit some practice balls on the range. I went out to the range and found a good spot. Tuesdays is when it starts to get crazy. So I hit a few balls and my caddie Zack came over. “Man! You are striking the ball good," he told me. “Yeah been feeling pretty good lately” I mumbled. “I bet you have not picked up a club since the Masters” he said. “Actually I have," I replied. “I bet I have hit more balls than I have in those three days than I normally do in a month. And I played a few rounds, I said smiling. He looked confused and asked why I have done so much the last few days. “All I know is it is fun all of a sudden. I seemed to have found some new enthusiasm for the game," I replied. “Well good” he responded, “keep it up, we have a long year in front of us."
We get to the first tee for our practice round. Practice rounds are always fun. It is a relaxed atmosphere. Zack and I are scouting the course, and I am working on game. However the players have a lot of fun sometime. Often there is some betting going on between the players.And sometimes some pretty serious betting goes on. One of the players Mark, which I have known for years starts getting things going. “Well we got a new pigeon with a lot of new money, what are we playing for?," he said in a joking manner. “Yeah right, I did not just fall off a Turnip Truck, I know you guys," I said laughing. We all just laughed, and we did some small betting and it was fun. My caddie Zack got a Course Map from one of the local’s. You can always find a Course map being sold for about $25.00. It has a lot of valuable information about the course. So we play a few holes and I am hitting the ball great! That little excited voice is back again. I am so thrilled on every shot. I work hard at not letting it show how much fun that I am having. Also I seem to be getting in the Zone. I am feeling confident over every shot. I am excited but composed and concentrating on every shot. The guys start kidding me. “Man! you are on fire dude! Good thing we are not playing for big Stakes. Must be nice to be a big Major winner." My caddie Zack looks at me bewildered and smiles. We play the round. I clean their clocks on the bets and they give me a hard time about that.
After the round, Zack and I go in and grab a bite to eat, it is about 3:30pm. Most of the guys are winding down for the day and going to the hotel. Most have practice and played today. I am ready to do the same. I tell Zack that I will see him in the morning and I go to the clubhouse. The players are coming in and out, most leaving for the day. Lots of congratulations. I am fortunate enough to talk to some successful players today and some that have won majors. Everyone says, just enjoy the ride but keep your focus. So I settle down and start to take my golf shoes off. Then I started thinking. “I want to hit some balls," I tell myself. I go to the range. I get there about 4:00pm. Hardly anyone is there this time of the day. I start hitting the balls. That little voice is back and is ecstatic on every shot. I a ton of practice balls. The more I hit the more fun I am having. I am enjoying every shot but I am confused of why I am so happy. I feel that I never have been a professional golfer before and then all of a sudden I am hitting balls like a pro. But I am a Professional Golfer, I have been doing this for 10 years. This is so confusing to me, but I am enjoying it. Before I know it, I check the time and it is 7:00pm. I cannot believe I have been here that long. “Wow what happened?, I ask myself.” Then I start to get a little Pissed. “What is going on with me?" “Why am I having so much fun?," I ask myself. I almost decide to get some more balls. Then I tell myself. “Dude you need to take a break!." So I get my stuff together and I am not paying a lot of attention to my surroundings. I reach down for my bag and see two feet facing me. I look up and it is Jerry Churchill . I jumped back. He is smiling. "Wow, you startled me," I replied laughing. “How's it going Mr. Churchill?," I asked. “I am doing fine” he replied. “I am working the TV Telecast on this tournament. I saw you were here for the tournament. How are you feeling after your big win?," he asked. I told him that I have been fine, and it has been crazy the last few days. He said “Yeah that will happen after winning a Major." He asked me if I have been getting enough rest and eating well taking care of my body and my mind. I told him that I have tried. But the last few days I am really been amped up. “Let me guess” he said with his arms crossed and putting his finger to his chin in a thinking gesture. “You have found new enthusiasm for the game and really enjoy playing golf and hitting balls recently?," h
e asked. I lit up. “Yeah! Yeah! Is this something that happens to someone after you win a major? Did that happen to you when you won your first major?," I asked. “No, can't say that I did?," he replied. “Well, how did you know that I was feeling this way?," I asked. “Just a hunch” he replied, “I noticed that you have been practicing a lot and you seem very confident.” “Have you ever heard of this happening to anyone else? ," I asked. “Not that I can think of," he replied. “But you know that I felt this way," I told him. “Look. I told you it was just a hunch” he said. “You are going through alot right now. You may have all kinds of crazy emotions going on right now. And things are not going to settle down anytime soon. You just have to deal with them," he told me in a matter of a fact tone. Then he went on. “I do have some information that I can give you from time to time if you want." “Sure. What do you got?," I asked. “Not now," he replied. “You got enough things on your plate than to listen to me right now. I will tell you some things here and there. Nothing will make sense now, but it will later," he said in a reassuring tone. He shook my hand and told me goodbye and walked away. Then he stopped. And he turned around looked at me with that tanned chiseled face and slicked back gray hair and smiled and said in a reassuring way. “Keep it Parallel Jim. Keep it Parallel." Then he turned and walked away. When he said that I felt that I have heard it a million times. But he only said this to me once. That the nite of the Masters post party. I am thinking what is his deal? I was going to reply but by this time he was gone. I am thinking this guy is crazy. “Or he really knows something," I tell myself.
Golf In A Parallel Universe Page 5
