After we hung up, I felt a little better. But I was so exhausted. By this time it was about 4:00pm. I took a shower and just went to bed. I just crashed. I was so exhausted that I slept all night. No dreams at all. When I woke up the next morning and felt a lot better. I drank some coffee and looked out the window at the view of Chicago. I was able to think straight now. Yesterday was so bizarre. And trying to process all that emotionally after a long international flight, half hungover was just about impossible. So I started thinking about it. “Should I be sad, or should I be feeling sorry for myself? Or should I be pissed off?” I felt a little of both. Mostly pissed off.
I cooked myself some breakfast. Then I watched TV a bit and I just did not know what to do. I was getting more upset about this whole situation. “Why me?” I told myself. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. Then I started thinking about my golf schedule. “Ok what day is this?," I asked myself. I finally figured out it is July 21st. I pull out my schedule. My internal time clock and calendar is all messed up. The last few days have been so crazy with being overseas for a month and then coming back here and have all this crazy stuff happen to me. “Let me see” I say to myself as I am pulling out my schedule. I take a look. My next tournament is suppose to be the World Golf Championships-Bridgestone Invitational in Akron Ohio. That is scheduled Monday July 28th through August 3rd. “ Monday is the 3rd for practice rounds, and competition starts on Thursday 31st. “So that's next week” I tell myself. The follow week is the Reno-Tahoe Open. I take a look at what tournament is after that. “Damn it!” I screamed out loud. “The follow week is the PGA Championship!” I come to realize that the PGA Championship, which is the last of the four Major golf tournament is just three of weeks away. So here I have a chance to be the first person in history to win the Grand Slam in modern golf history. And I am stuck here in protective custody.
I really start to stress. I walk around the apartment trying to figure this out. Maybe they will catch him the next few days, then I will be free. Finally I decide to take a nap. Having to stay cooped up in this apartment is driving me crazy, at least I can catch up on my sleep. I go to sleep pretty fast because I am exhausted. I have crazy dreams. Those dreams come back again where I am in a small town with my family of wife and two kids. The dreams in the past have always vague, but now it seem more clear and more real. I can almost see the faces clearly. And the dreams are so strange. I see everyone and they seem to be worried. The wife is concerned and the kids are crying. And I hear say the same thing over and over “Come home," “Come Home." I try to tell them that I am home here with them. I ask them why they keep telling me to come home. This seems to go on forever. Finally I wake up and I am drenched in sweat. I lay in bed and think about my dreams. I know that I have been having these same dreams the last few months but now they are stronger and stronger.
The next couple of days, I just stay in the apartment. I make a few phone calls, I talk to Emily a few times. I also talk to Zack. He told me he will be ready when I am free from this mess. I walk around in the apartment and that little voice in my head which always comes out when I am playing golf is now talking to me. And it is saying “Let’s go home” “Let's go home." Also my ears seem to be ringing very loud and it will not stop. I am stressed and I really think I am starting to lose it. I decide that I have to get out of here. I put on the disguise they made for me. I laugh when I look in the mirror. They have me set up to look like an older man with gray hair and a beard. I will definitely not be recognized.
I take a walk through the city. That voice keeps saying over and over and over “Let’s go home, Let's go home.” As I am walking I start getting more stressed out. I see people looking at me as I walk by. The busy traffic, the car horns honking really make me anxious. I feel lost. I go into a couple of stores to look around, but I have no interest on being here. I feel paranoid. I decide to get out of here and go back to the apartment. I unlock the door, then close it and lock it. Then I just lean back to the closed door. The voice is really getting to me. I put my hands to my ears and just yell “Stop!." And to my surprise the voice stops. At least for awhile. It comes back later, and it is the same thing over and over again.
I start to think about my golf schedule again. I really need to play in the World Golf Championship-Bridgestone next week. It will be a good warm up for the PGA Championship. If I cannot make that, I just hope they catch Dafford Hilton in time for me to make the PGA Championship. I start thinking about all of this and I am really stressing out. And this voice will not go away. I yell back at the voice. I feel like there are two of me and I am fighting with myself. As the hours go by, I feel like I am going to lose it. I pick up a golf club. The living room of this apartment has a high ceiling so I can swing the club. It feels good to swing. At least I can keep my muscles loose for a few days doing this. And when I swing that little voice seems to get happy. Not whining so much about going home. “I am really losing it” I tell myself.
A little later my cell phone rings. I see that it is Jerry Churchill . A couple of days ago, I would have had no interest in talking with him. But now I am ready and happy to talk to him. I answered the phone. “How’s it going Champ?", he asked in a cheerful voice. I told him I am fine and I am dealing with it. He told me that he will help out in whatever way he can. We talked for awhile about things. Then he asked me in a more serious tone. “Jim, how are doing." I told him that I am fine. However I feel stressed out and I am somewhat confused. “Well, I want talk to you," he said. “I know exactly what you are going through. Let me guess. You feel like there are two of you, right? And you hear voices, right?," he asked. “Right”!, I yelled out “You talked to Zack didn't you?! I was pissed because Zack is the only person that I told about this. And I did not want him to tell anyone. “No, not at all” he replied. “However I am glad you talked to someone about this. I know it gave you some temporary peace. “Look, I know Zack had to talk to you about this, I have not told anyone else” I replied with an upset tone. “Jim, let me tell you what I know, he said calmly. He proceeded to tell me how I feel. He went over the dreams and the voice. He went over the emotions that I have been feeling the last few months. He went over how I have felt at certain times. He told me how these strange emotions get stronger after an emotional event such as winning a golf tournament or if something bad happens. He went over how I feel much more in detail than what I explained to Zack a few days ago. After he spoke for a few minutes he paused. “Any of this sound familiar” he asked. At that point I knew that he knows something.
“Yes” I replied. I told him that I always had the feeling that he knows something about what I am going through. “I know you have Jim” he replied. “I wanted to find a good time to talk to you, but it has been difficult. “Look” he said. “We need to talk in person. As you know I am the one person authorized to see you. Is it OK if I come to your location tomorrow?," he asked. “Yes” I replied. He told me he has already checked on a flight and he will leave early in the morning and he will be here around noon tomorrow. “Don’t worry about the details” He said in a more happy tone. “Your crack FBI team will make all the arrangements to take me to your location. They have already filled me in on all the Protocol on how all this stuff works."
“Ok sounds good, I am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow." I told him. “I will bring lunch. What sounds good to you?” he asked. “Man!” I replied. I could go for a good fast food burger. I have been cooped up in this apartment cooking for myself." “Consider it done," he replied. Then he paused. “Jim the only thing I can tell you now. Is to keep an open mind. Because I am going to tell you some things that will not make sense. I agreed and we said goodbye and we hung up. After we hung up I felt better. For the next few hours I tried to figure out how in the world he knows this stuff about me. I tried to think about this logically. I know it has to be some type of emotional or psychological issue going on with me. I was planning on seeing a psychologist when I got back from the British Open but now
I am stuck here. So I start thinking that there has to be something on how a person’s emotions responds after a big event, such as winning a major golf tournament. The moment I won the Masters is when things starting getting weird. I start thinking. Since Jerry Churchill has won nine majors, he must have experienced the same thing. “But why doesn't he just tell me that, and recommend I see a shrink?," I ask myself.
“Oh, well” I tell myself. I spend the rest of the day swinging a golf club in the apartment. That voice in my head seems to like that. Finally, I decide to call Zack to ask him if he had talked to Jerry or anyone else about this. I feel he had to tell Jerry or someone about this. And Jerry heard if from someone else. I dial his number. I think to myself that I need to be calm and not get upset and accuse him of anything. And if he admits he did talk to Jerry or someone, I need to not get upset. I call and he picks up. “Hey Jim, how are you doing” he asked. I told him I am fine and we chit chat for a couple of minutes. Then I am ready to ask. “Hey Zack, I got a question for you’. I told him. “What's up?," he replied. “You know when I told you about those weird things that have been going through with the voice in my head and the dreams and things?”
“Yeah sure," he replied curiosity. “Did you tell anyone about that?," I asked. “Absolutely not, not even my wife” he replied. “Are you sure about that Zack?," I replied in a stern tone. “Yeah, Jim. I am telling you I have not told anyone about this. What's going on?, he asked. I took a deep breath, and I calmed down. I was satisfied with his response. I explained to him about the conversation I had with Jerry Churchill . That he described the exact same things that I am experiencing and that he is coming up tomorrow and we are going to discuss it. "I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to say. How would he know all this? he replied.
“Good question. Things are just so weird. I just do not understand how he would know these things.” “Well, keep me posted” he replied. I told him I will let him know what happens. We talked couple of minutes longer. I told him to be ready for the PGA Championship. Hopefully Dafford Hilton will be caught soon. The we will make our way to the Valhalla Golf club in Louisville Kentucky in a few days. He told me he will be ready to go at a moment's notice and we said goodbye.
I eat dinner and go to bed anticipating on what tomorrow is going to be like. I fall asleep and the dreams are stronger than ever. My family tells me to come home. But I want to go play golf. I go to the small town golf course and it seems so familiare. I have had these dreams for months and now I know each hole. I even remember the holes when I am awake. I dream about playing and I cannot hit the ball very well. I am an amateur or a hacker. It feels so terrible to hit the ball this way. But it feels so familiar to me. I dream about going home from the golf course after my round and always so happy to see my wife and kids. But they are sad and keep telling me to come home. And I am confused because I just came home. I keep telling them that I am already home but no one listens to me. They just keep crying. The dream just keeps going over and over and never seems to end.
Chapter 17: Things Get Weird
I wake up the next morning. The sun is coming into the window and it is a nice day. I get up take a shower. Then I sit by the window drinking coffee looking at the view. I am in a high-rise apartment and have a good view of Chicago. Nice view, but I wish I was here under better circumstances. It is 8:00 am and I wonder what it is going to be like when Jerry Churchill gets here in a few hours. I tell myself that I will listen to what he says and keep an open mind like he told me. I make up my mind not to get upset at anything he says. I know he is here to help me. The next few hours, I just hang out. I notice I do feel better today. My mind is more clear and that stupid voice is not too strong this morning.
I start to get anxious as Noon approaches. Finally at 12:05 I get a call from Agent Keller from the FBI. He tells me that my visitor Jerry Churchill is here and they are bringing him up. In a couple of minutes they knock at the door. I look through the peephole and they are there and I let them in. I am so happy to see him. I shake his hand and then give him a big hug. I really want to cry but I am able to control it. We had a couple of minutes of chit chat between the three of us and then Agent Keller left.
“I got some burgers for you," he told me as he held up a white greasy bag. He had a good size bag full of burgers and fries. I grabbed them quickly in a jokingly manner running to the table like I just go a new present. “Man, you do not know how bad of a cook I am” I said laughing. “I have been dying for some good fast food burgers. Common, have a burger," I told him as I was pointing at the bag. “No thanks, I never touch those” he said smiling. “I really watch what I eat." And I know he is right. He is 78 years old and in perfect shape. He is a health nut, and it is paying off for him. I just hope I am as good as shape as he is when I am his age. We talked about while about the Scottish and the British Open. He told me that I have really elevated my game to a new level and he is happy to progress that I have made. “All because of you” I replied. “If you would have not had that talk with after the TPC Sawgrass and put me in touch With Gus, I would not be where I am now."
“Oh, speaking of Gus” he replied. “I have talked to him about you a few times recently. “Really what did he say?” I asked anxiously. “Gus means the world to me, how is he doing?" I asked. “He is doing real well. He is very pleased with your progress. He said that you have a special talent, and he regrets he did not meet you a few years earlier. He said if he would have had more time to work with you that you have turned out to be something special. “However, Gus and I both think that you have become a special player. You are making history this year," he said smiling. I thanked him for that thought.
We were running out of small talk. He asked me if I am ready to talk about the things that he is here for. I told him I was. We sat down at the table and he started to talk. “Jim," he said. We talked yesterday on the phone about that voice in your head and those strange dreams. If you were to guess, what do you think this is all about? Any ideas?, he asked. I took a deep breath. “All I can think of is that I am going through some weird emotional stress that was triggered when I won my first Major, the Masters. That’s when all of this started. I know the human brain is complex and something has happened to me with my emotions. I was going to see a Shrink after I got back from the British Open but now I am stuck here. Basically, I think that I am just losing my mind," I told him in a solemn tone . “I understand," he said nodding his head. ”I have gone through the exact same thing that you are going through. I know how you feel. And I think that you have actually handled it quite well," he told me. “Well, thanks," I replied. He continued on. “Jim, I have been wanting to talk to you a long time about this. I was not sure how to approach this. I wanted to give you bits and pieces of information and slowly help you realize what is happening. But with all that has happened recently there just have not been time. I am going to have to lay it out all today," he said.
“Basically, I am going crazy, right? I replied. “No, absolutely not, this is not a psychological issue," he replied. I had a confused look on my face as he was talking. “Look Jim," he said in a serious tone. “I am going to tell you some things that you will not believe. “Actually” he said smiling. “You will be accusing me the one of being crazy. All I ask is to keep an open mind. In the beginning you will not believe me and you may get upset. That is understandable. But eventually you will become to realize that what I am about to tell you is the absolute truth.” I am sitting here listening to him and I cannot imagine what he is talking about. “What could it be if it is not some psychological thing going on with me," I asked myself.
“Ok, lay it out to me. I am all ears” I replied in a curious tone. “Well Jim, there is a lot of things that we do not understand in life. I am going to get a little philosophical with you for a moment and then more scientific. You just have to keep an open mind, OK?," he asked. “OK” I replied. “Jim we live in a big universe. We are just a spec of dust in the Milky Way Galaxy. And the Milky Wa
y Galaxy is just a spec of dust in the universe. There are so many things that we do not understand about the universe. Would you agree?," he asked. “Ah, yea sure” I said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Absolutely” he replied. “Jim, just because we do not understand some things, that does not mean that a lot of things are not real. Look, science has come a long way in recent years. We did not even know that black holes existed in the universe until a few years ago, it was just a theory. Now we know that it is a fact that they exist. We have come a long ways scientifically in the last few years. Basically the universe is just one big mathematical equation when we break it down.”
“OK” I said. I am just wondering where is is going with all of this. “So," he said. You are asking where am I going and how does this apply to you, correct," he asked. “Yeah," I replied. “I am not a scientist Jim, and hard for me to explain, but I know what is going on here." I was literally on the edge of my seat when he was talking. I just could not figure out where is he as going with this. But if it was going to answer some questions on what I have been going through, I was ready.
“I am sure that you have heard of the theory of A Parallel Universe, correct?” he asked. “Ah, yea, I think so," I replied shaking my head wondering what the heck he is talking about. “Basically, the theory of a Parallel Universe is that there is another Universe just like ours. It is a mirror image of our Universe. And each one of us live in that other Universe as ourselves. So that means there are two of us. One in our home universe and one of us in another, or parallel universe."
Golf In A Parallel Universe Page 28
