by E. M. Knight
I left it in a pocket of my other jacket.
I lunge for the closet, not caring that I knock over all the furniture to get there. I rip open the door and rifle through the clothes.
And then I find it. The official uniform of the Captain Commander.
I grab it from the hanger. Anticipation courses through me. I feel the little bump in the breast pocket. I reach in. My fingers close over the smooth, cool glass…
I pull it out, remove the stopper, and bring it to my lips. In a single gulp, I down it. The blood—not quite so succulent, not quite so fresh—flows down my throat, mixes with my own, and quells a bit of that raging desire within me.
I sag back in relief. I’d come close—so close—to running out and going for the villagers. But that would be horrific. I would betray not only my secret, but also everything The Haven stands for, everything I have ever done. Everything that in any way matters, in short.
My chest stops heaving. The animal inside is satisfied—for now.
I have to get a grip, I know. If the hunger comes again, which I don’t doubt it will, I need to have a plan of action. I cannot leave things up to chance.
I’ll have to find the second cubby, do an inventory count, and hold myself back enough to ration it properly. That little store has to last me as long as it takes for the wards to be reinstated, the Haven to be cloaked under permanent night, and the human-vampire economy to be up and running again.
I scuff a sardonic laugh. “Economy.“ What a soft word for the sick, depraved nature of our relationship with them. What an awful euphemism.
The state of my addiction disgusts me. I used to pride myself on my power of will, on my intellect. I was not vulnerable to acts of whim or excessive emotion. I was always rational and level-headed.
But the other part of me is anything but. And, awful as it is to say…?
I actually like it.
I drop my head back and look at the ceiling. I wouldn’t have to hide any of this if only things were the way they used to be. None of the other vampires would bat an eye at me drinking blood.
It’s the damn prohibition—the one I proposed—that makes me feel both like a coward and a fraud.
The sooner things return to normal, the easier it will be.
And yet… with all that Raul and Eleira told me, how likely is “normal,” ever again? Our whole world is being shaken to its roots. The prophecy is in full effect, the stars are in position, and we are on the cusp of an open war…
And here I am. The Haven’s Captain Commander, most concerned about how he’s going to get his next fix.
It’s despicable.
But so be it. If I can’t fight my addiction through determination alone, I have to make contingency plans. The first of which involves unearthing the remaining store of blood.
I tidy up the room as best as I can and unlock the door. I look down the hallway. There’s no one there.
Strange, I think, but not altogether unusual.
I let my mind expand and search for the presence of other vampires. There are none close by. Which makes sense, given the location of the place…
But still, there are usually some that can be felt wandering around. Even with the warning I’d issued about the Narwhark, our coven’s vampires do not like to stay immobile for too long.
I put it out of my mind. It’s probably just coincidence. Besides, it makes it easier for me to make my way undetected to the secret place where the chest is stored.
I walk briskly in that direction. A part of me thinks I should go check up on the humans. They’ve been kept in the dark—literally, figuratively—about everything that’s happened since The Haven’s fall. They certainly don’t know about the demon attack.
I almost turn that way before realizing where the idea to “check up” on them came from.
It came from my vampiric half.
I stammer to a halt. The vampiric half tried to exert its influence… over me.
In the most subtle, most insidious way… by making me think that I came up with the idea.
I stop moving and put an arm out against the wall to steady myself. Paranoid, Phillip, I tell myself. You’re being paranoid.
But am I, really? The vampire inside me is a creature of its own volition. Why wouldn’t it try something like that?
No, no, no. I shake my head. Those are crazy thoughts. I have a duality inside, yes, but my mind is not fractured in two. I am still whole. This body does not house two personalities.
This would be so much easier, so much less conflicting, if I could simply feed…
I push off and continue on my way. I take the longer path, the one that leads me far around the entrance to the humans’ little cavern.
Just in case.
I see the door ahead. It’s closed, as all the stronghold’s doors usually are. I turn the knob and push it open, then venture inside.
The room itself is wholly unspectacular. It’s one of the many seemingly unused and empty chambers that make up the facility. But hidden inside is a secret passageway that leads to the chest…
It occurs to me just how similar my current mission is to one of those quests in the Zelda video games. Funny. I used to waste days playing those on emulators on my computer.
I think I was one of the few vampires who took interest in such things. No wonder I had been labeled an outsider.
I’m halfway through to the hidden passage when the door I’d just come through creaks open, and somebody else steps inside.
I spin around in an instant. I’m as flighty as a cat. Damn, but I need to get a grip of myself!
It’s the freaking guilt I’m harboring over what I’m doing that has me reacting this way.
The vampire I see looking back at me is one of the last I would ever expect to find here.
Deanna.
I straighten. “Um.” I say. “Can I help you?”
She smiles at me in a coquettish way. “Yes, Phillip,” she murmurs. “I think you can.”
She glides toward me, and I’m struck by the sheer sensuality of her feminine movements.
Have I ever paid attention to that before?
She stops about a foot away and blinks at me through long, dark lashes. I take an inadvertent breath and immediately smell her.
She smells… delicious. Ripe and pure and one hundred percent vampire. One hundred percent woman—a woman, mind you, in her absolute prime.
Of course Mother wouldn’t have welcomed any into the Elite were they not specimens of physical perfection.
The vampire inside me responds immediately to her presence… but in a wholly different way.
I clear my throat and shift my gaze. “Yes?” I ask. I am just the least bit discomfited by the new desires awakened inside me. And this is Deanna! She’s never shown anything but absolute disdain for me!
“You are very handsome in that uniform, Phillip,” she says trailing a finger along my chest. “The look of command suits you.”
Even more of my basest desires erupt at her suggestive tone.
I shove them straight down. “You’re not supposed to…” I begin.
She circles a finger around a button on my front.
I change what I was going to say.
“How did you get here? Did you follow me?”
“Why, Phillip,” she says in the most innocent voice. “Wherever did you get such an idea?” She takes a half step closer. My entire body responds to her proximity.
“My rooms are just on the other side of the hall,” she whispers.
I blink. “No.” I say. “They’re not. They’re two levels up, with the rest of the Elite...”
She gives a soft and sensual laugh. “You think I could abide their company for more than a day? Please. They’re all so… stuffy. So uptight. Entirely unlike… unlike you.”
I take a step away. She advances without missing a beast.
“You know,” she says. “I’ve always considered you to be unfairly judged. Oh, you should hear some of the thi
ngs the other vampires say behind your back. Well, I don’t need to tell you what those are. I’m sure you’re intelligent enough to guess.”
The scent of her, the underlying implication of each word, the lilting cadence of her speech… all of it serves to unnerve me. It doesn’t help one bit that I’m still reeling from my last, desperate search for blood.
“You should know that I never participated in such gossip,” she continues. “In fact, I spoke on your behalf as often as I could.”
“And you want my thanks?” I say, too roughly. But my mind is scrambled. I’m not used to this sort of thing!
She laughs again. “How long has it been since you’ve had a woman, Phillip? Your brother James… he never pushed away his desires. But you… your abstinence from human blood is the stuff of legends. I just hope,” she adds in a coy voice, “that such stark dedication has not affected other areas of your life.”
She steps right into me. My back hits the wall. She presses her body up against mine. I can feel her breasts against my chest. The scent of her being overwhelms me, until I know nothing else.
My mind stops working. Words become difficult to form. My hands remain stiff at my sides as I stand there, unsure of what to do.
“So stoic,” she mutters. One long-nailed finger trails up the side of my neck. I shiver from her touch.
With both hands, she reaches up and takes my glasses off. She smiles as she does. “So much better,” she says, half to herself. “Now you have the look of a true general.”
And then she takes the sides of my head, stands on her toes, and brings her lips against mine.
The kiss is sweet and gentle because it’s probing. She’s gauging my response. But I can feel the heat that she’s suppressing, the passion that might be unleashed were I to simply give her an appropriate sign.
“No?” She draws back. “You’re not—you don’t prefer the other sex, do you?”
That question breaks the final stone of the dam. All inhibition disappears as the vampire inside roars at me to prove myself.
I grab Deanna by the waist and move her forward. She gasps as her back collides with the wall. My lips fall onto hers, and I kiss her savagely.
She responds in kind right away. Her hands tangle in my hair. She pulls me in. She moans in pleasure as I deepen the kiss, giving way completely to the instincts lying latent within me.
“Why, Phillip,” she gasps when I let her go. “I didn’t know you had that in you.”
Already I’m thinking two steps ahead. I don’t care why she wants to seduce me. Obviously it’s for her own gain and not for some deeper attraction to me, but right now, it doesn’t matter.
Right now, I need to take pleasure in a physical body. I need to lose myself to the hedonistic pursuit of the flesh. Losing April, just like that, to my older brother—that is the true cause of all my dissonance. That is the reason for my depraved behavior. That is the one thing I’ve completely refused to acknowledge, and that is the one thing Deanna might help me forget.
“Your room,” I say in a husky growl. “Where is it?”
“Oh, Phillip, you’re so direct,” she says, breathlessly. She giggles. “It’s just this way.”
We race there together. Just before the doors, I stop her and spin her around and kiss her again. The fire erupts within me. My hands are greedy, running all over her perfect, curvy body. I itch to get this awful layer of clothes between us off.
Just as I start to tug the neck of her blouse down, she pushes me away. “Not here,” she breathes. Her lips are swollen from my harsh kiss. Her cheeks are red. “Inside, where we’ll have more privacy.”
I growl something incomprehensible in agreement. My mind is focused on only one thing. Right now, nothing else matters.
I let her go and watch her put a key in the lock. As soon as we’re inside, I’m going to rip that outfit right off her. I’m going to tear it in two and lay waste to her body. She is going to be mine, the way that April should have been.
The heavy door finally opens. Deanna steps into the dark. I follow her.
I grab her wrist and pull her back into me. Our mouths collide in a fury of passion. True to my word, I grab the back of her blouse and rip it apart. She gasps in mock indignation—or perhaps, it’s real, I have no way to tell—but by then I’ve already picked her up and tossed her right on the bed.
She lands in the middle. Her hair fans out from around her head in a darkened halo. She smiles, and I leap on top of her. I kiss the side of her neck, then start to move down her body. She is only in her lingerie, and she moans and writhes in pleasure as my mouth finds all the spots on her flawless skin that are most sensitive.
“Mmm,” she says. “Phillip, you’re so good.”
I smile to myself and keep going. One of my hidden talents.
“Hold on, hold on, hold on.” Gently she pushes me off her and scoots up. “This isn’t fair. You’re still dressed.”
“That,” I say, “can be quickly remedied.” I strip my jacket off. Deanna wiggles backward. She drapes both arms over the headrest and smiles as she watches me.
“Slowly,” she says, her skin beautifully flushed. “I want you to take your time. We do have all night.”
She beckons me closer with one finger. “Come here. Kiss me some more.”
I crawl right to her. “You want me to kiss you… here?” I ask, nuzzling into her neck.
She giggles. “Mm, higher.”
I trace the delicate outline of her jaw with my lips. She squirms beneath me.
“Get that shirt off,” she says. “I want to see your body.”
I smile and do as I’m asked. She gives a little murmur of appreciation as I lift it over my head. Her hands run over my chest and lower. “So strong,” she says.
I can’t keep away, so I kiss her again.
She responds well, but then seems almost… distracted. I kiss her harder. Her hips buck into me. She arches her back and her hands wrap around my neck as she holds on.
I lose myself in her. She is so amazing to kiss. She runs her hands up and down my bare back. Her touch brings waves of ecstasy.
Then she shifts, and seems to reach back, behind the headboard, for something. I pay it no mind, taking it as a sign of her giving me more access. I break away from her lips and begin my mouth’s journey down her body—
Suddenly, a stab of immense pain takes me from the side.
I break off. I look down. There’s a… silver knife, sticking out from me. From just beneath my ribs.
Shock, confusion, disbelief floods through me. I look back at Deanna. She has pure malice in her eyes.
“This is for Bradley,” she whispers. “Who your bitch mother killed.”
And in a series of quick jabs, she stabs me again and again and again.
Rage erupts in me. I grip her hand, the one wielding the knife. But she’s gotten me so many times that I’m quickly weakening. With a grunt of disgust she pushes me off, and stabs me in the abdomen once more.
I curl to protect my vital organs. But Deanna is going crazy with bloodlust. She holds the weapon with both hands and plunges it into me, maddened by the act.
I try to fend her off. But she’d caught me vulnerable. The silver is making me weak. And besides, I’ve never raised a hand against a woman—so all I do is try to feebly defend myself.
The attempt does not amount to much. She’s punctured so many damn holes in my body, I’m rapidly losing blood, and with it, consciousness.
“Bradley was everything to me!” she screams. Stab, stab, stab. “And your mother took him away!” Stab. Stab. “That’s why you have to pay!”
I can’t hold on any longer. The pain is too great, the blood loss too much. Darkness closes in, darkness comes over me, and I fade from the world.
Chapter Nineteen
ELEIRA
THE STRONGHOLD’S LIBRARY
“Well, there has to be something somewhere!” I exclaim, picking books off the shelf and tossing them away, discarded, as
soon as it’s obvious there’s no useful information inside.
Raul and I went straight for the stronghold’s newly created library after my failure with the Queen. Surprisingly—or maybe not, considering the era most of them came from—The Haven’s vampires have an immense love for books. All on their own, and with no coercion from the Royal Court or any of the Elites, the Incolam staged an excavation of the castle and retrieved every single book that had been buried in the dust. They repaired the ones they loved, fixed the pages, glued the binding, and brought them all here, where they could be freely accessed by all.
It is the one place within the dark, cold stronghold with any semblance of energy or life.
Of course, the vampires who’d been in here had quickly vacated when we arrived. None wanted to be near Raul or me given our moods.
“I’m telling you,” Raul grimaces, flipping through a book at random, “any of the volumes with information you’re looking for won’t be here. Mother kept the most important books under constant lock and key. They weren’t in the castle. I bet she had them in some other, secret underground cavern.”
“The network of tunnels beneath The Haven just goes on and on, doesn’t it?” I say.
Raul nods. “It has to. Remember this place wasn’t always bathed in eternal night. Where else would the vampires spend the daylight hours?”
“I thought they’d be in coffins,” I quip.
That earns me a tired smile. “Ha. Ha.”
“Anyway.” I shake my head and gesture at the growing pile of books in the middle of the floor. “How can none of these contain anything useful? It’s so… it’s so… frustrating!”
“I know,” Raul says. “Trust me, I do. At least we have a bit of time on our side. Word hasn’t yet reached the Royal Court...”
“You think we have time?” I look at him in full seriousness. “You actually think we have any time?”
He grunts and gives a rough shake of his head. “No.”
“Exactly,” I say. “While we’re trying to figure out how to revive the Queen, Logan and Beatrice and her horrid creations are probably getting ready to stage an attack!”
“I told you what father promised,” Raul tells me. “He said there’d be a ceasefire until he heard from the Queen.”
