I finished the fruit, walking away so I wouldn’t stand there and eat the entire tray by myself. I had to leave some for the guests, who should be arriving in about thirty minutes. Thinking about that, I thought the girl showing the products tonight should have been here. I hoped she hadn’t forgotten.
I went into my dining room and looked at the meal I’d had catered. I decided to go with filet mignon with bacon-wrapped asparagus and seasoned, grilled potatoes served with brioche. For dessert we were having mini cheesecake bites. You thought I was excited about the strawberries and chocolate? The several different arrays of cheesecake excited me the most. The flavors consisted of plain, key lime, amaretto, chocolate, marble, and strawberry cheesecake, of course. I know all of this sounds extravagant, but I liked to go all out like this when it came to any event I threw. I was a diva for real. Nothing but the best, depending on the crowd. And I know what you’re thinking: filet mignon served on plastic plates is going all out? Hell yeah, for me it is. Again, I didn’t like people who tore up my things. Just because I had it didn’t mean I had to show it off all the time. I worked hard to get everything I had, even if I did get men to supply most of my needs.
I went to my bedroom and looked at myself one last time in the mirror. Damn, I looked good. I snapped my fingers at myself as I twirled to make sure I looked good at all angles. “In the words of Kenya Moore, I’m Gone with the Wind fabulous,” I said to myself, twirling.
With my long hair sophisticatedly curled and makeup done to perfection, I knew I looked hot. This was a casual event, but I couldn’t help but put on my black-and-white form-fitting mini with one shoulder exposed and a cutout at the waist making it super sexy. Hell, I was sexy. I am five feet four inches, weighing 130 pounds, with measurements equaling 34-26-36, and yes, my butt is my main attraction. I’m talking about fastening your seat belt and enjoying the ride type of attraction. I am a walking rollercoaster of thrills and spills, if you get my drift. Being as beautiful as I am comes with a lot of advantages. One of them is the lifestyle I lead now.
I stood in the mirror thinking, Damn, look how far I have come.
I can remember when I was in high school, I was considered a rail. I was a stick figure. The boys used to hold up a pencil to me and compare me to it, laughing like it was so funny; but I didn’t find a thing to laugh about. It hurt my feelings. Now those same boys were men who salivated over me. Most of them I dissed, but some I had to have just because I’d had a crush on them in high school.
One in particular scratched my itch on a regular. His name was Von. In school he was the quiet athlete who hung with the popular kids but still didn’t want to be seen with the unpopular. Now he was an NFL football player with all the right moves. He still wasn’t much of a talker, but that was fine with me, since all I wanted was his money and his dick, which both suited me very well.
The doorbell rang, snapping me out of admiring myself. I pulled my dress down a bit and went to the door, opening it. The consultant who would be showing us the products tonight was standing in front of me.
“I’m so sorry I’m late. I had a flat tire,” she said, panting like she had run all the way here.
“Oh, you are fine. No one has arrived yet. Come on in,” I said, watching as she pulled in two large suitcases.
“Good. I hate to be late. It takes me a little time to set this merchandise up.”
“Do you have anything else to bring in?” I asked.
“I do, but I’ll get it,” she said.
“Okay. If you insist,” I said, not really wanting to help her in the first place. I was trying to be nice.
She went back outside and proceeded to bring in a table for setting everything on and a briefcase, which held the order forms along with the pamphlets of products.
I picked up one and scanned through it, thinking I needed 85 percent of what she had in this booklet. New products came out so often that it made the old merchandise you previously purchased look prehistoric. These companies were on top of their game when it came to finding the many different ways to sexually please someone.
As she took each tool out of her suitcase piece by piece, I was getting eager. I looked at the clock to see that as usual, all these tricks were late. I’d said arrive at seven. I should have said six. That way they would have been on time.
It wasn’t long before the representative had everything arranged on the tables. After she did that, she placed a folder in each space I had available, which consisted of my sofa, loveseat, and twenty chairs I had in my spacious living room. Then she turned her attention to me.
“So, I’m ready.”
“I am too. I don’t know why my guests are late. Forgive them,” I said.
“No problem. It actually worked in my favor today,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Now, you know the more you sell, the more free products you get. You get ten percent of total sales.”
“I know, and I hope these women buy, buy, buy.”
When I said that, the doorbell rang. The first to arrive was my oldest sister, Vivian, and middle sister, Serena.
“Hey, you guys,” I said with glee, giving them both a hug as they walked in.
“Sorry we’re late,” Vivian said. “Multiple outfits here delayed us,” she said, pointing at Serena.
“I didn’t know what I wanted to wear. I still got this baby belly,” she said, grabbing her gut.
“It’s almost gone,” I said, rubbing her almost flat stomach. She only had a little pudge, and I believed if she took a dump, it would go down.
“I still need to lose another fifteen pounds, and then I’m good,” Serena said.
“That will make you smaller than you were before you got pregnant,” I said.
“Exactly. I’ll feel better about myself. Looking at you in that dress is not helping either. I thought this was a casual event. Where the hell do you think you are going?” Serena asked.
“Girl, this old thing?” I joked.
“Please, Phoenix. Every time I see you, you got something on I haven’t seen you wear before. Where the hell are you getting the money to afford so many clothes?”
“Serena, don’t worry about my finances,” I said, giggling. “It’s none of your business.”
“Y’all make me sick,” Vivian interrupted.
“Why?” I asked.
“Y’all know why. Look at me. I’m the plus-size sister.”
“And you look good every time I see you, too, Vivian.”
“You do look good, sis,” Serena cosigned.
“I know, but y’all skinny bitches always find a way to make me feel bad standing here with your perfect shapes. Serena is talking about losing more weight. Any more weight loss and you are going to disappear on us.”
“Whatever, Viv. I’m doing this for me. This kangaroo pouch ain’t cutting it,” Serena said, jiggling her belly.
“That ain’t a kangaroo pouch. This is a kangaroo pouch,” Vivian said, lifting her shirt to reveal the Spanx she had on pulling everything in. Vivian rolled the garment down and let her belly expand outward. Serena and I giggled. “You see. So can y’all shut up about weight?” Vivian said, pulling the Spanx back up and fixing her clothes.
“You did not have to go that far,” I said.
“Yes, I did, so y’all could shut up,” Vivian said.
“Okay, you guys. Enough about our bodies. Where is everybody?” Serena asked.
“You two are first to arrive,” I said.
“We can see that,” Vivian said.
“Wasn’t this supposed to start at seven?” Serena asked, picking up an appetizer off the table and putting it in her mouth.
“Yep. You know how black folks are,” I said.
“Don’t put this on black people. Kimara is Puerto Rican. Mayumi is Japanese. Bella is Italian, and Hanna, Mackenzie, and Paige are white. You should say this is a woman thing, or mother thing, or even diva thing, but not a black thing,” Vivian corrected, walking over to claim the space she wanted for the pa
rty. She sat down on the sofa.
“Well, I didn’t mean to offend black women,” I said jokingly, checking out what Vivian was wearing. Even though she was considered plus-size, she could dress her behind off. She looked good in her red skinny-leg jeans with black dolman top and black stilettos. You would think that red would make her look bigger, but it didn’t. It flattered her body nicely. With Vivian’s thickness, she carried it in her hips, butt, and breasts, so I didn’t really see what the issue was.
“Is that an apology coming from Phoenix? Because I need to voice record this on my phone,” Vivian said, pulling out her cell and typing something. “You never apologize about nothing, and that’s as close to one as I’ve ever heard you come to.”
“Shut up,” I said, playfully hitting her.
“I’m just saying.”
Serena went over and sat on the sofa next to Vivian, yawning, leaving a space to her left for someone else to sit.
“All right, sleepy head. We can’t have that. You got to get ready to have some fun tonight,” I said.
“Phoenix, I’m tired. Nevaeh still isn’t sleeping through the night. I know I get up every two to three hours. But when the sun rises, that girl sleeps for hours. Why do babies do that?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to know,” I said seriously. “I don’t want kids. Hell, I don’t really like them. All that crying and throwing up and changing Pampers and always needing someone to care for them. Naw. Y’all can have that, because I don’t want it.”
“You just don’t want anybody stealing your spotlight,” Vivian chimed in. “Selfish is what you are.”
“True,” I agreed with her.
“At least she owns it,” Serena defended.
“All I know is this party better be good. I worked ten hours today, and it was taxing. A guy got fired today and lost his damn mind. Security had to come and get this fool. They literally dragged him off our floor and out the building. He was screaming many threats of what he was going to do when he came back.”
“When he came back?” Serena questioned. “I hope they called the police on his behind. Disgruntled employees go on shooting rampages all the time. I hope the company is taking his threats seriously.”
“I hope so too. The only positive thing on my end was I tried to fight for him to keep his job. Hopefully he remembers that if he decides to come back and go crazy. Still, I hope human resources was smart enough to disarm his badge so he can’t get back in the building, because he looks like the type who would come shoot up the place,” Vivian said.
“I bet you he was white,” I said.
Vivian sighed, saying, “There you go again with that race crap.”
“Well, am I right?”
Vivian didn’t say anything.
“See, I knew it. Only white people snap and want to shoot everybody and then turn around and shoot themselves. Why not just shoot yourself when you get home and eliminate all the tragedy?”
“You know what? I’m done with this conversation. I’m going to the bathroom before you find something else crazy to say,” Vivian said, getting up and leaving the room.
It was around eight when most of my guests arrived, including my other sisters, Shauna and Dawn. Shauna was feeling good when she walked through the door. Probably that joint and beer she had in the place of bacon and eggs with some orange juice this morning. I wished she would calm down on her drinking and smoking, but I had to say she was fun to be around when she was tipsy. When that heifer was sober, she was hell to be around.
The only people who hadn’t arrived were my best friends, Kimara and Mayumi. I texted them and they said they were pulling up. As soon as they arrived, my posse was complete and it was time to have fun.
It was good to see everybody mingling with each other. Drinks were being poured and appetizers were being eaten. Everybody knew each other already, which made things easier. The only two who might’ve had an issue with one another were my sister Dawn and my guest Paige. I could see the two of them giving each other the evil eye every now and then. They had a history and it wasn’t a good one. I hoped this evening would go on without any hiccups.
“Ladies, have a seat. It’s time to get started,” I said as the women shuffled to their seats. “I want to first thank y’all for coming to my sex toy party, even though all y’all bitches was late.”
The ladies laughed along with whooping and hollering with excitement.
“I’m going to introduce you to the woman of the evening. This is Ashley, and she is our consultant and educator for the next hour, so pay attention, get involved, and let your inner freak be your guide to purchase some sex goodies,” I said, clapping and giving Ashley the floor. I sat next to Serena on my sofa.
“Hi, ladies,” Ashley said and everyone greeted her back. “It’s so good to see so many of you. I’m excited to be here tonight. I can’t wait to show you all my merchandise. I made sure to place a folder in each of your seats. The folder contains a booklet, an order form, my business card for future parties, and also a sheet on how I did my showing. On that sheet, it also has a box to check yes or no if you would consider being a consultant like me. The job is very fun. I get to travel, make good money, and make women happy all while selling them products that bring them joy.
“I have a few items with me—not all, because we would be here all night. If you see something you like, put a checkmark beside it. If you decide to make a purchase, some of the merchandise can be taken home tonight, but it is first come, first served. I have a limited amount. The rest of your orders should be back in a week. Most of the things I’m going to show you are our bestsellers, so sit back, enjoy, and please know no question is wrong to ask.”
Chapter 3
Phoenix
Ashley started out by showing us creams and lotions. Some were used for moisturizing and massaging, and some were used for licking. We tasted nipple drops and warming oils that tasted like candy. There was chocolate for the body, and primer to suck off the man’s penis. There was not a woman in there who didn’t get her savor on. I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the tasting too. I could have sucked down a bottle of that apple-flavored warming oil. It tasted like a Jolly Rancher.
Ashley proceeded to show us a bottle of spray to numb the back of your throat for oral sex. She introduced this product along with giving each of us a flavored condom. Along with the condom, I stood to hand out bananas.
“What are we supposed to do with this?” Dawn asked.
For somebody who thought they knew everything, my sister was sitting here acting like she didn’t know a damn thing. Common sense should come into play sometimes. If you are holding a condom and a damn banana, what do you think you are supposed to do with it? But maybe I shouldn’t think that way. Maybe she’s never used a condom before. Yeah, that’s it.
“You supposed to take the condom you have and roll it down the banana.”
“Oh, I can do that,” Dawn said.
“But the catch is you have to use your mouth to put it on, and then you have to suck it,” I explained.
“I’ll be damned,” Dawn said, causing everybody to laugh. “I’m going to put this condom on with my hands.”
“That’s fine too,” Ashley said.
“If y’all would like to see if the spray works, try it,” I said, squirting the elixir into my mouth. “Who in here likes giving head?”
“You,” most of the women said, causing laughter to permeate the room.
“Like I’m the only one. Please. All y’all give head, so don’t play innocent,” I countered.
“I don’t,” Serena said, smiling devilishly, knowing damn well she was lying. She and Tyree had been together for a minute, and I knew that man looked like he wouldn’t have stayed with Serena if she weren’t giving him some head. My sister must have been thinking the same thing, because she called Serena out on her bull.
“That’s a damn lie. You don’t have that baby for nothing,” Vivian joked.
“That’s rig
ht. All of y’all are freaks to the tenth power. I know this because none of you ladies would be here if you didn’t have some inner slut buried inside you,” I joked.
“And you are the biggest slut of us all,” my sister Shauna said, sipping on her glass of wine.
It was funny watching these women take these bananas into their mouths like it was their man. I was no exception. I joined in with them. Why perpetrate? I gave head and, honestly, I liked it. Throwing a flavored condom in only made the act tastier.
I looked over at my good friend Paige taking the entire banana down her throat. I mean, she made it disappear. She only had the tip of the banana’s stem showing, and these weren’t tiny bananas. I purposely picked the longest ones I could find, just so I could see how much these tricks could take.
Paige held her hands out by her side like she had performed the circus act of swallowing a sword instead of a banana. I was astonished. Homegirl didn’t even bother to use the spray to eliminate the gag reflex. She wasn’t choking. There weren’t tears running down her face. She looked totally unfazed. Then Paige reached in and pulled the banana from her throat with no problem. There wasn’t one blemish to the banana. None of her teeth had clipped it, and it didn’t break during its journey down her throat.
“Damn, girl. Remind me to keep you away from my man,” one of my guests said.
“I know, right? They do say white girls give the best head,” another said. Paige didn’t mind the joke. She knew it just like we did. She just made it factual by her demonstration.
I saw Dawn watching her and knew she was getting heated. How ironic it was for Dawn to watch this woman down this banana like a damn champ, knowing this same woman slept with her man and probably did this exact thing to his dick. Talk about adding insult to injury. After seeing what Paige did, I would be intimidated too. If swallowing that banana was any sign of how good she could suck a dick, Dawn’s man still might be seeing her. I knew if I was a man, I would be.
The Johnson Sisters Page 2
