by Faye Byrd
“What the fuck would I do that for?” he snaps.
“Because I fucking said so!” I bite back, and then I fucking sigh. “Look, call Coop, he can fill you in. I don’t have the energy to rehash it tonight. But, trust me, when you hear, you’ll understand.” I swipe end on my phone, and toss it to the sofa as I stand to pace.
That phone call was harder than I thought, but not so hard that I want to take it back. The restaurant is important to me, cooking’s important to me, but not more important than my son’s life. And it’s not as if I need the money, I just enjoy earning my living.
After my mind settles, I make my way to the shower, hoping the hot water will soothe me. It doesn’t. I’m dressed and pacing in the hotel room not soon after. So many things left unresolved. I fucked up with Easton more times than I can count today. I need to make it right. Not just for our sake but for our sons as well.
Cam needs it to work more than anyone else and just talking to him for that brief few minutes is all it took. I need it to work for him.
He’s my son.
He’s Easton’s son.
He’s our son, and he’s the priority right now.
Fuck! I grab my keys and make my way to the one place where I can try. I can try to make amends for my stupid shit. I can try to build a relationship with my son’s mother. I can try to convince her I’m worthy of him.
All I can do is try.
As I approach his room, I’m nervous. What if she sends me away? What if she won’t allow me around him? What if she fights to keep me away? What then?
I don’t want that, so with trepidation in my bones, I knock on the door.
She opens just seconds later. She’s radiant standing there with the lamplight casting a warm glow from behind her. “Can I help you?” she asks, keeping her tone neutral.
“Easton, I was hoping we could talk.” My eyes beg her to trust me, to give me one more chance to prove I can do better.
For Cam.
She studies me carefully. With those eyes of hers, it’s like she’s seeing into my soul. After she’s satisfied that I’m serious, she pulls open the door and walks back to her pseudo sleeping chair.
I enter behind her, assuring myself that I can do this. That I can earn her forgiveness and we can form a plan to save our son.
10 UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Trystan
I follow her in, and my eyes immediately jump to Cam. He’s sleeping soundly, just as he was earlier today. I stop and take him in, reveling in the fact that he’s mine. Being told the child you’ve loved and cared for isn’t yours is a blow no one can comprehend, but to actually lay eyes on the boy you did father makes it concrete.
It leaves zero doubt.
The only choice left is for me to make the best of it, and that’s why I’m here. No one, aside from Easton, can imagine the feelings of uncertainty I’m harboring right now. Unimaginable things have bound us together, and now we have to do what it takes to get through.
“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” she whispers, her mouth close to my ear, causing me to jump.
Not taking my eyes from him, I answer, “He’s perfect.”
“Well, go on, take the chair beside him,” she suggests, motioning toward it.
My eyes snap to hers. “You don’t mind?”
She sighs. “Trystan, I’m not going to try and keep him from you. Sure, I wanted to run and hide, but I knew from the start that wasn’t an option. Cam needs more from me. He needs me to let him have you, too … even if you are a hothead.” She rolls her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Easton. I really am,” I state emphatically.
“I know you are, and I’m willing to be understanding to a point, but you have to try and meet me half way. Think before you speak and act, please. I don’t know how many more times I can forgive.” Her eyes tell me she’s serious, but they also tell me she’s tired. This whole situation is taking its toll on her.
I nod and move to sit in the chair. After studying Cameron a few more minutes, my eyes trail to the lounger only a couple feet away. “I can’t promise I won’t fuck up anymore. This is a lot to take in and my emotions are all over the place, but the one thing I do know is that you and me”–I motion between us–“we’re in this for life. There’s no going back for us. We both have two sons now, and we’ll just have to learn to accept that and make it work for us.”
She smiles and, even though it’s small, I can tell she likes what I just said. “Agreed. There’s so much to figure out, I barely even know where to start.”
I chuckle. “How about I tell you a little more about Blake?”
She gasps. “You must think I’m the most horrible mother on earth. We’ve hardly discussed him, but please believe me when I say that he’s every bit as important to me as Cameron.”
Thinking back through our conversations, I realize we haven’t discussed Blake much, but I also recall the tone of those conversations. I’ve been as guilty as her, probably even more so when you consider the volatility of my emotions today. Cam being sick is what propelled this whole situation for her, so he has to be top priority right now. I get that. I’m appreciative of it even.
“We’ve yet to have a real conversation. Aside from the one where you told me about Cam.” I rub the back of my neck. “And, um, the stairwell.”
She snorts. “I wouldn’t call that real conversation. More like a disaster.”
A small smile begins to lift the corners of my mouth. “It was, and I’d like to revisit that, but first let me fill you in on your other son.”
The smile she gives is brilliant, it lights up her entire face. “Please.”
I pull out my phone to enter the unlock code, and the first thing I see is a picture of Blake and me. I hold it out for her to take. “That was last summer. We were at Lake Michigan, spending the day on the beach.”
She tentatively reaches over, as if she’s afraid I’ll snatch it back. As soon as she lays eyes on it, she starts blinking rapidly, trying to hold back the tears. I scoot my chair closer and reach out to rub her arm. “Don’t cry, Easton. He’s amazing, just like Cam.”
“Happy tears, Trystan,” she says, rubbing over his little face with her thumb.
“Even in a crappy cell phone picture, those eyes are unmistakable,” I tell her.
“Does his mother not have the same eyes?” she asks, and her voice is soft, curious. She’s not trying to pry into a touchy subject but just wants to understand.
“She has blue eyes, just not those eyes.” I sigh and scratch through my two-day scruff. “His mom was a prissy bitch. Tanning bed, bleach blonde, the works. Her natural skin tone and hair color were a mystery even to me. So our kid being blond-haired and blue-eyed with pasty skin wasn’t really a stretch. I just always assumed he took after her when she was young. But seeing you, it almost makes me sick to realize how wrong I was.”
Her eyes flit past me and land on Cameron. “When he was first born, I had hope that he’d taken after me some, but as he got older, it became painfully obvious. My son had taken after his father.”
“At least we know the truth while they’re still young,” I say, my mind comprehending my own words. What if this was discovered twenty years down the road instead of now? Or never? I shake away that thought.
She hugs the phone close to her chest and looks to me again with watery eyes. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
I reach over and catch a tear just as it starts to fall. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”
Her eyes go wide. “What are we going to tell them? How do we explain this to them?”
I shake my head. “I don’t have a clue. I’m as new at this as you are.”
“What did you tell Cam? Who did you say you were?” she asks.
“I told him my name was Trystan and I was his mom’s friend.” I smirk.
“Oh,” she says. “Well, we have to decide on something. I know they’re young, but Cam’s a smart kid, and he hasn’t been introduced to many men friends in the past.”
I raise a brow. “So you’re telling me he hasn’t met any of your boyfriends?”
Even in the low lighting, the pink tinge is visible on her cheeks. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I leave him with a sitter when I go on a date. Besides, none of those have made it far enough to meet my son. What about you? Has Blake met your lady friends?”
“No way. I don’t trust women around my son.”
“Ah, I see,” she says, reading me like a book. “Your wife walked out on you, so you’re afraid to try again,”
I lean forward and prop my elbows on my knees. “If the woman that carried him doesn’t want him, I damn sure don’t have expectations for other women.”
She touches my arm to gain my attention. “You can’t let that rule your life. There are good women out there.”
I pull my hand through my hair and look over at her. “Well, it’s not that simple anymore, is it, Easton?”
“No, it’s not,” she says, holding out my phone.
My hand brushes against hers as I take it back, causing a shiver to move through me. “So, about that other thing,” I say, hating to bring it up, but it has to be done.
“Oh, God.” She leans back in her chair and covers her face. “I think we need to forget it ever happened.”
I reach over and grab her hands, pulling them away. “No, we can’t. It’s a valid option.” Her wide eyes meet mine, and she’s already shaking her head, but I keep going anyway. “I mean, yeah I fucked it all up earlier today, but you’re right. It’s the best chance we have of getting a perfect match for Cameron, aside from hunting down Kennedy and creating one, and that will never happen.” The anger seeps into my voice even though I try to hold it back.
“Not even for Cam?” she asks quietly.
Her question hits me hard, because how do you say no to something like that? But there isn’t another option. “I’m sorry, Easton, but I could never do that. Not even for Cam.” My eyes plead with her to understand. It’s bad enough that Kennedy might hear about this and show up demanding more cash, but I could never seek her out.
Not for anything.
“What happens if she does show up one day? You know this won’t be kept quiet. It will get out eventually.” She’s worried. Afraid of what it means for our boys if the woman I’ve described shows up and tries to insert herself in this situation.
“Don’t worry, she signed her rights away. She’s no longer his mother,” I assure her, my voice firm.
She stands and starts pacing. “No, Trystan. No!” She whips her head to mine, panic the overwhelming emotion. “She signed her rights away to Blake. Not Cam.” Tears begin to form in her eyes as the full gravity of this conundrum smacks us both in the face.
I get up and go to her. Placing my hands on her shoulders, I try to transfer all of my determination to her. “She signed her rights away to our child. Mine and hers. There’s no way the courts would reverse it because it wasn’t the right one. I have money, Easton. I’ll pay her off if I have to. That’s all she cared about the first time.”
“You paid her off?” she asks, wiping tears from her cheeks.
“No, not exactly, but I will this time if that’s what it takes,” I say firmly, as much for myself as for her. “She wanted a divorce with a nice settlement, which is expected for a man of my wealth, but she also didn’t want anything to do with Blake. In exchange for a healthy settlement, she freely gave up her rights to Blake, and they were terminated by the courts. We haven’t seen or heard from her since.”
“Wow, you sure know how to pick ‘em.” She finally grants me a smile. It’s small, but after her mini-freak-out, I’ll take it. But I also make note that I need to contact my attorney.
“See why I keep women away from him?” I chuckle, brushing her hair over her shoulder. “It’s going to be okay, Easton. We just have to learn to trust each other.”
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them again, she’s still vulnerable, but her resolve is back. “I think we can do that. We both have so much to gain in the long run by getting along and trusting each other. We have amazing sons that are worth the effort.”
I reach around and hug her. “So worth it.”
She returns my hug and when I pull back, I leave a light kiss on her forehead before guiding her to the lounger and holding the cover up for her to climb in. She avoids my eyes but still quietly mutters, “Thanks.”
Once I sit back in my chair, I take in my still sleeping boy. He’s rolled to his side facing away from me, but just having my eyes on him is enough to make me say what needs to come next. “So, um, how do you want to do this?”
“I’m not entirely sure, but right now, just meeting the boys is enough to handle–”
I turn and interrupt her. “No, Easton, that’s not what I meant. I mean us, making a baby. Did you want to go on a date? Set up a time? What if just once isn’t eno–”
“Whoa, stop right there,” she interrupts, her hands flailing in front of her. “I didn’t mean make a baby, make a baby. I meant we could conceive the way I did with Cameron the first time.”
My mind retraces the conversation about Cam, and it suddenly hits me. My brows rise into my hairline. “You want me to donate sperm?”
“That seems the most reasonable option. You go in. I go in. And voila. We’re pregnant.” She waves her hands around as if she just initiated world peace.
I’m not sure of the expression on my face, but incredulous pretty much describes what I’m feeling. She expects me to go in some room, look at a dirty mag and jack my fucking cock? “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
She at least has the decency to look chagrined. “It worked well before, and come on; it’s the most reasonable option.”
“The most reasonable,” I sputter, my mind still working to understand the concept.
I’m dumbfounded.
I may have gone about it all wrong earlier, but it felt right. We felt right, and she was feeling it, that was obvious. Why would she want to go about it in such a … clinical way?
“Yes. No strings and no emotions. Very reasonable.” She nods as if she’s assuring herself.
I have to stop this crazy train before it pulls out of the depot. “No strings? You don’t consider sharing a kid a string? Look, there’s no way to do something such as this and not have it be an emotional experience. Even if we do go about it the way you’re suggesting, there’s a whole nine months of pregnancy to follow. Do you think I’ll just leave you to it, not want to be around while my child grows in your belly? And then there’s Cam and Blake. We’re still going to be working on clearing this mess up for them, sharing them, letting them get to know us better, as well as each other. We’ve become attached by a permanent string, and going about it in that way just seems to add another pressure we don’t need.” I’m trying to make her understand how unreasonable her method sounds, but listening to myself, I realize there are a lot more factors in play than even I’ve considered.
She huffs. “Pressure? You don’t think doing it the old-fashioned way will create pressure … expectations … complications?”
I ease down on my knees in front of her. “It doesn’t have to be that way. Haven’t you ever had a friend with benefits?” I reach up and push a curl behind her ear, allowing my fingers to linger on her cheek. “We definitely have the chemistry, Easton. Not only will we be trying for a baby, but maybe we can offer each other something else.”
She tilts her head away from my hand and crosses her arms. “And what might that be, Trystan?”
“Comfort, relief … mind-blowing orgasms.” I smirk.
“You sound so sure of yourself.” She raises a brow.
“Come on. You felt it, I know you did.” I reach over and uncross her arms, rubbing the tension from her muscles. “Don’t be so tense. It’s no big deal. People have sex for a variety of different reasons all the time. At least, our end goal is one and the same.” I glide my hands down and grab hers. “Just think
about it, and if you want, get in touch with your clinic and see what we’ll have to do there. Either way, I’m in. The decision of how is all on you.”
She squeezes my hands. “Thank you, Trystan.”
I wink and stand, heading back to my chair. “No problem, Easton. Especially if you choose the old-fashioned way.”
“Easy,” she says, looking at me curiously as I retake my seat. “You can call me Easy.”
My tongue snakes out and runs along my bottom lip as I take her in, debating if I should be honest here. I finally shake my head. “Nah, I don’t think that’s quite right. You’re anything but easy.”
Her head tilts, and those eyes fucking peer into my soul. “No, I’m not. Never was, but that’s not where it came from anyway.”
“Care to share?” I ask, my voice gruffer than I intend.
“I’m beginning to think it was all a joke. Everything’s always been … well, easy for me. If I wanted it, I achieved it, and by junior high, the name had stuck.” She actually snorts. “Maybe this is my payback, and it was all some sick joke the universe was playing.”
“Come on, you can’t think like that.” My voice is still way too gruff, so I clear it before attempting to lighten the conversation again. “And the nickname? That’s exactly how I’d expect someone like you to get a nickname like that.”
Her lips curve up into a smile. “Thanks. I think.” She pulls her covers tighter around her and lounges back. “Will you tell me more about him.”
I don’t even have to ask who, because I know. Blake. I start talking. Telling her any cute story I can think of to keep that smile on her lips. She chuckles occasionally and asks a question here or there but mostly just sits and absorbs my words with a beautiful smile. When I haven’t heard from her in few minutes, I glance over and she’s sound asleep.
I turn back to my son and rest my head on his bed, grabbing his little hand in mine. Being here with him like this makes me miss Blake even more. I can’t wait to have him in my arms again. That’s when this little get-together will finally be complete.
The circumstances we’ve found ourselves in are incomprehensible until it happens to you. The future terrifies and excites me at the same time. It’s up to Easton and me to make it work. No one can navigate this for us. The rest of the world doesn’t matter. We have two, precious little boys to guide through this situation, and they have to be the only people we consider.
