PROLOGUE
I HEAR HER COMING DOWN THE STAIRS and grip my hands into fists. Why the fuck didn’t I just let it go, she wouldn’t be leaving if I hadn’t pushed. I watch her walk into the kitchen and stop for a moment. I want to look up at her, beg her to stay, but I know now it will only make things worse. I thought I could convince her, get her to believe that I love her just the way she is, but I know that look in her eyes; she’s made her mind up, she’s ending it, walking away.
I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. I have never felt this way before. I feel ashamed, empty and void of all things – I’m a complete failure. I thought I could get her to believe that I’m not going anywhere, that we can take things slowly, at her pace – but her leaving has proved to me that it’s not possible. She reaches into her bag and takes out her keys.
No Coral, don’t do it! – Silently, she unhooks my set of keys and places them on the breakfast bar. I feel my eyes swim with moisture – Shit! I’m crying? – I am desperately trying to hold onto my sanity as I watch the girl that I love – the only girl I’ve ever loved – walk away from me, out of my life for good. I have to say something?
I look up at her, she looks lost, desolate and bereft – on an island all of her own.
“Don’t go,” I beg, hoping she’ll change her mind.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice is strained with unshed tears – I feel my heart sink to the pit of my stomach – She’s really leaving, this isn’t happening!
She dashes away from me, I quickly stand and walk round the breakfast bar hoping she’ll look back at me, see how much I need her in my life, want her with me – but she doesn’t turn around. I watch her yank the front door open, walk through it and out of my life, forever.
Fuck, she’s gone, she’s really gone. No! Coral….come back!
I feel nauseous. I grip my hands into fists again and fight against the rage I feel building within me – A horrid thought races through my mind. What if it’s not me she wants? I instantly get an image of her with another man – she’s happy, in love with him – No!
I pounce to my feet – No! I can't let that happen, I can't stand it.
Pain curses through me again…Christ, she’s really is gone…..
I slowly make my way up the stairs and stop when I reach the bedroom - our bedroom. I look around the room trying to convince myself she’s still here, that something of hers is still here, but there’s nothing but an empty room, an empty bed.
I wonder lifelessly into the en-suite. I can smell her in here. Christ, she’s everywhere…I look around the room and see her shampoo sitting in the shower rack. I open the shower door, pick it up, flick open the top and inhale deeply.
My head swims with her scent, I feel the pain crush me again – Why is this so painful? I’ve had relationships that ended before, and I never felt like this? I feel like I’m balancing on the edge of a very deep abyss.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to push the pain away, but it’s no good, it makes no difference, I feel empty without her. I open my eyes and stagger into the bedroom, all I keep seeing is a picture of her face smiling at me, those eyes, that beautiful smile.
I fall onto the edge of the bed and hand my head in my hands. I still don’t understand why she ran. I look up and realise she’s everywhere I look, she’s all over this house now – I have to get out of here. I force my feet into my trainers and race down the stairs. Grabbing my mobile and my keys, I yank the front door open. Slamming it behind me I unlock the car, throw myself inside, start the engine and slam my foot on the gas – desperate to get away – the car swerves as I race out the driveway.
I drive aimlessly for a while, and without consciously thinking about it, I find myself driving adjacent to Undercliff Walk. I pull the car over and let it idle for a while – I can't help thinking back to that walk we took, and how Coral slowly opened up to me, how I learned the horrifying reality of her life as a child. I turn off the engine and step out the car – I hear someone make a comment – but I acknowledge them.
I head down the steps and walk over to the sea wall. I look out to sea, trying to work out what I did wrong and how I can make it right. Then I remember, I promised her I wouldn’t fail her. I promised her that no matter what – I would always keep fighting for her.
Is that what she’s doing, testing me? If she is, then I’m failing her right now. I pull out my mobile and stare at her number. It’s no good I need to know if she’s ok. I press call and wait – it rings out and goes to her voicemail – I instantly start to worry. Where are you Coral?
I press call again and wait – I hate waiting – It goes to voicemail again. Now I’m really worrying. I look to my right and see the Marina. It’s about half a mile away, I have to see her. I have to know she’s ok – Fuck the car!
Stuffing my mobile in my pocket, I start running towards the Marina, hoping and praying she’s there – that I’ll see her. At least it will put my mind at rest that she’s not done something stupid, if anything ever happened to her…I shake the thought away and run harder, faster.
The concrete beneath my pounding feet make my knees ache slightly, but I don’t care, I have to get to her. I locate the Western Concourse and slow down my pace. As I get closer to her studio, I notice Bob is sat outside. When I finally reach the door, Bob looks up at me.
“Afternoon.” He says.
I nod silently to him. I want to ask him if she’s in, but I don’t want to get him involved, and I don’t want him to think I’ve hurt her. Although I’m not really sure if I haven’t? Stepping past him I peer into her studio. I see her bags on the floor but there’s no sign of her – Maybe she’s gone for a walk? I pull my mobile out of my pocket and call her. I hear it ringing inside the studio – Shit Coral, where are you?
I end the call and decide to see if she’s in. I gently tap on the door, but I don’t see or hear any movement.
“She came back earlier, didn’t look too happy. She left it open though, so I figured she was expecting you?” Bob says.
I stare down at him and nod once – Ok this is it! No matter what, I have to get her back, convince her somehow that she and I, we are meant to be. I take a deep breath and pull on the handle, then I take a cautious step inside and call out for her…
CHAPTER ONE
I HEAR THE PATIO DOOR SLIDE OPEN and instantly stop crying. Who the hell is that? I don’t want anyone to see me like this! I lean up from my slumped position, listening intently. Shit! Maybe I should call the police? Shit, my bag is downstairs…
“Coral?” I hear Tristan’s voice shout, making my heart pound against my chest. Oh no! What is he doing here? I hear the bathroom door open and close as he tries to find me.
“Coral. Answer me!” He demands. Oh no! I don’t want him here. I don’t want him to see me like this. His footsteps come barreling up the stairs, his eyes bleak and wide, searching for me. “Coral!” He gasps as he reaches the top of the stairs and sees me.
“Go away!” I croak and squeeze my eyes shut.
“No baby, no!” He says, sounding appalled. The next thing I know I’m in his arms and he’s crushing me to him. I try to push him away, but it’s useless. “Baby, tell me what’s wrong? Why did you leave?” He asks rocking me slowly.
“Tristan, please go.” I croak.
“No!” he barks. “I’m not leaving you in this state.”
“Please…” I whimper.
“Why?” He asks in his husky voice.
“B-because…” I choke back the tears that threaten to fall again. “Tristan, I…I can't do this, I can't be what you want, what you deserve.” I croak.
“You are what I want.” He states
clearly. “I love you just the way you are.” I finally look up at his deep, hypnotic eyes. “Don’t you know that?” He questions.
I sniff loudly – It’s really not attractive.
“But’ – “No buts baby, come home with me.” He pleads.
“No,” I grumble. I just want to be left alone. I don’t want to face my fears, and I don’t want to see the look in his eyes when I freak out because he’s touched me in a sexual way. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the horror within.
“I don’t want you on your own baby. You don’t even have to be in the same room as me, I’ll sleep downstairs, just come home.” I think about what he’s asking – Can I do that?
“Please…” he begs again.
“Tristan…” I look up at him feeling full of remorse and guilt. He gently wipes a couple of stray tears away with his thumbs.
“You don’t have to tell me anything, just come back with me.” I can tell by the look in his eye that he’s not going to give in. “I told you baby, I won’t stop fighting for you no matter how hard you push me away, no matter how many times you leave me. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.” He leans forward and kisses my temple. He keeps his lips there; pressed hard against my skin.
A lump forms in my throat. He came back for me, he came back…I think about the piercing pain that lanced through me just moments earlier, and how it seems to have magically vanished. I think about how I felt when I thought I would never see him again, just moments ago, yet here he is cradling me in his arms – Why? Why does he care so much for me?
“Why are you here Tristan, I…I left you,” I croak.
“I know,” he sighs heavily. “And it was the worst moment in my entire life.” He trembles.
I gasp and look up at him. “I don’t ever want to feel that pain again, so don’t run from me…please. I’ll be whatever you want me to be, just don’t….” He breaks off and crushes me to him again – Oh Tristan! That’s just how I felt!
What a stupid thing I did, especially given the fact that this feels so right, like he’s meant for me. I finally relent, and wrap my arms around him, resting my head against his chest, listening to his racing heart. I don’t know how long we stay there for, five minutes, an hour, I’m not sure, but my tears slowly subside and I start to feel calmer.
“Come home with me?” He whispers, rocking me gently. I think about his request and realise I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be without Tristan – even though it’s scaring me to death. I take a deep breath and slowly blow it out. “Ok,” I tremble. I’m still not sure if I’m doing the right thing here.
His whole body seems to sag with relief. “Good…that’s good.” I look up at him just as he lifts my hand to his lips. “You’re trembling,” he says and kisses my knuckles.
“I’m scared,” I whisper croakily.
“So am I.” He admits. He rocks me gently again. “Jesus Coral…don’t do that to me again,” he says, his heart beating madly – I close my eyes and surrender. Feeling his arms wrapped around me like this, is like being in seventh heaven. I never want to feel like that again, which is really fucking scary, because I know it means facing my fears.
“Shall I get the car?” He murmurs.
“The car?” I question.
“Yeah, I went for a drive…” He solemnly shakes his head. “It’s not far away, shall we walk there or’ – “No, can you go get it?” I interrupt. “I still feel shaky, I don’t think my legs would carry me.”
“Yes, I can. But I need you to do something for me,” he says.
“What?” I whisper.
“I need you to give me your word you’ll be here when I get back.” I nod silently to him. “Say it Coral,” he says more sternly.
“I’ll be here,” I whimper. He kisses my temple once more, releases me and slides off the bed. “I won’t be long,” he tells me.
I smile weakly at him and watch him walk away from me. Crap! Now I have no choice. I can't dodge him and go to Gladys’s. Sighing heavily, I climb off the bed and slowly make my way down the stairs.
Stepping into the bathroom, I take a good look at myself. Christ, what a mess! I walk back into the living room find my toiletries, and makeup bag, and head back into the bathroom. I slowly cleanse my face then try my best to re-apply some mascara - It’s a trying feat with red, puffy eyes. When I’m done I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to find some courage from somewhere – Tristan’s going to want to know why I freaked out earlier, I know he is.
I close my eyes for a moment, take a deep breath and head back into the living room. Just as I bend down to repack my bags, Tristan walks into the studio. He’s breathing hard and sweating; I guess he ran back here to make sure I didn’t disappear on him again.
“Hey.” He says and walks over to me.
“Hi, did you want some water?” He shakes his head at me. “Ok.” I look down at my hands that are twisting together in anxiety, unsure of what to say or do.
“Shall we?” He says, I nod in reply, so he bends down and picks up my weekend bag. I throw my handbag over my shoulder, and find my sunglasses to hide my puffy eyes. Our eyes catch again as I slide them on, he silently reaches out and caresses my cheek.
“Ready?” I nod silently to him. He takes a deep breath and silently holds his hand out to me. I place my hand in his open palm, and we silently head home...
AS WE REACH THE GATES TO THE HOUSE, Tristan turns and catches my hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. He pulls up outside the house, switches off the engine and turns in his seat. Feels very strange being back here, considering I only left a short while ago – I try not to panic.
“Ok?” he softly asks. I smile weakly at him.
I still don’t know if I’m doing the right thing here.
“Ok.” He nods his head once, almost as though he understood my unspoken answer, and steps out the car. Reaching my side, he opens my door and holds out both his hands. I place my hands in his and he gently pulls me to my feet. Then he bends down and swiftly kisses my forehead, shutting the door behind me.
“I’ll get the bags, why don’t you let yourself in?” I shake my head at him. I don’t want to go inside that house without him.
“Ok.” He reaches out and runs a cool finger down my cheek, calming me. Then he walks round to the boot, collects my bags and comes back over to me. I take his outstretched hand, and we walk to the front door – this feels so surreal.
Taking his key out he unlocks the door, and pushes it open, gesturing for me to go first. With trembling legs, I take a step inside the house, then another and another, until I’m stood inside the huge entrance hall.
I hear Tristan follow, shut the door behind him and drop my bag to the floor.
“Do you want anything baby?” I put my handbag down, take off my sunglasses, and slowly turn to look at him.
He puts his hands in his pockets and gazes back at me. He looks lost, very wary, and slightly uncomfortable. I hate that I’ve made him feel like this. He’s beautiful, and sweet, caring and attentive and I love him. Why the hell did I walk out on him?
I grit my teeth at myself, take the two steps needed and crush myself against his chest, wrapping my arms tightly around his strong, muscular back.
“I’m so sorry,” I choke. He hesitantly wraps his arms around me and gently rocks me.
“It’s ok baby. You don’t have to be sorry.” He softly says.
“But I walked out on you,” I choke.
“Yes, I know,” he shudders. “What do you want Coral? Do you want to be alone, or do you’ – “No, I want to be with you,” I interrupt, closing my eyes and inhaling his intoxicating scent.
“Oh baby, I want to be with you too.” Tristan kisses my hair several times. “Coral, what do you need?”
“You,” I whisper. I hear his soft chuckle and look up at him.
“I need you too,” Tristan says, finally smiling at me. He reaches up and takes my face in his hand
s. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, ok?” I nod once. “You didn’t eat much earlier. Are you hungry?” I shake my head. “Thirsty?” I shake my head again and start to smile, Tristan’s grin widens in response. “Hmm. What to do?” He says.
“Stay here,” I reply, squeezing him tighter. I may not like strangers touching me, but ever since I came to realise that Gladys wasn’t bad, I always loved her hugs – they make me feel safe, loved. Just like Tristan’s hugs, only Tristan’s are better, so much better.
“I have a better idea.” He says, smiling broadly now.
“You do?” I squeak, looking up at those mesmerizing chocolate eyes of his.
Tristan nods once, his serious expression is back. “Dance with me?” He asks.
“Now?” I squeak. Tristan nods once. “Here?” He nods again, looking down at me with such a loving expression, that I have only one answer. “Ok,” I shrug. “But we don’t even have any music?” I add.
“Stay there.” He grins and walks over to the kitchen.
Moments later I hear a guitar rift start. I instantly recognize the tune – Hero, Enrique Iglesias. My heart starts manically beating…oh the words…this song… it’s so beautiful… I feel very overwhelmed and have to fight to stop myself crying.
Tristan walks over to me, his eyes wide, and his hand held out. I place my hand in his. Without a word, he pulls me into him, and spins us around a couple of times, making me smile. Then we slowly dance our way around the empty space of the living area, Tristan is so good at this.
“Hero?” I whisper, looking up at him. He nods solemnly and twirls us around again. “You wanna be my hero?” I ask. Tristan stares down at me and nods once more. Oh Tristan!
“Oh,” I smile up at him. He stares down at me with wide, sincere, serious eyes.
“Always,” he whispers. I swallow hard – Why did I just ask that? I cradle my head under his neck and surrender to it. I close my eyes just as Tristan sings in my ear, ‘I can be your hero baby, I can kiss away the pain, I will stand by you forever, you can take my breath away’ I practically melt in his arms.
CORAL - Fallen (A Romance Trilogy, Book 2) Page 1
