I roll my eyes at him. “Have you ever done this before?”
“No, well…apart from my folks,” he answers, his voice soft with warm memories. “Want to see a picture of them?” he asks, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Of course,” I say, wondering if it’s going to upset him to do this. Tristan opens his wallet, pulls out a faded photograph and hands it to me.
It’s a small, square, black and white photograph - God knows how old it is!
I handle it carefully, and stare at the young couple smiling back at me with their arms wrapped around one another. Tristan looks just like his very handsome Grandfather, and his Granny is very pretty. Her hair is curled and pinned back, just as they all used to wear it back then, and she’s smiling. Her eyes look bright, they look so happy.
He hands me another. Tristan is in the photograph with them, he’s in the middle with his arms wrapped around each of them. They are all smiling, they all look so happy. He looks younger though, maybe in his teens?
“When was this taken?” I ask softly.
“It was my 21st.” He tells me, his eyes darkening. “I wish I’d have met you while they were still alive, they’d have loved you so much. I know they would,” he says his voice breaking as he does. Making my heart ache for him, I wish I could take his pain away.
“Tristan,” I whisper putting my arm around his back and resting my head on his shoulder. I sit staring at the photos, when suddenly inspiration hits. “Can I borrow these?” I ask. Tristan frowns at my request. He doesn’t seem to want to let them go, which is understandable. “Not now,” I add handing them back.
“Sure,” he says and places them back in his wallet.
“You look like your Grandfather,” I tell him cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood. “And your Grandmother was so pretty, I can see why your Grandfather fell for her,” I add. Tristan smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. I feel nervous again, so I take a sip of my brandy.
It warms and burns me, as it slowly makes it way to my stomach. I’m starting to feel a little drunk, my head is slightly spinning - This is strong stuff.
I gaze at Tristan who is staring blankly ahead at the fire, no doubt thinking about his folks. I try to understand what that would have felt like, to lose your parents at such a young age, even more so, to lose parents that loved and cherished you, took care of you.
I want to take his pain away, to make him feel better. I move carefully and slide over him, so I’m straddling him. He looks up at me in confusion. “Coral, what are you’ - “I’m sorry,” I whisper, placing my hands on his cheeks I kiss him gently. “It’s not fair,” I add. Tristan doesn’t say anything, he just gazes up at me. “I’m guessing you miss them, so much,” I add.
“Yes, I do,” he sighs, so I kiss him again, trying to take away his pain, but a flame ignites within me. I want to take this further, so I don’t stop. I kiss him more passionately forcing his lips apart, finding his tongue as a slight moan escapes me.
Tristan seems very hesitant, then finally I hear a deep groan of longing reverberate from deep within him, his lips press harder against mine, and his breathing picks up. He wraps his arms around me and crushes me hard against him, sending shivers all over my body.
We roll onto the floor, Tristan on top of me, the length of his body stretched out on top of mine. I feel his erection hard and heavy against my belly, only this time, I don’t freak out…oh I want him…so badly.
I force my hands into his hair pulling his lips harder against mine, then I wrap my legs around him, using my heels to push his backside, his erection deeper into me. I want to feel him inside me.
Tristan suddenly freezes. “Stop!” He shouts, staring down at me with dark eyes. He sits up pulling me with him so I’m straddling him again. We stare at each other, almost nose to nose, both panting heavily.
“Did I do something wrong?” I ask.
“No.” He shakes his head. “I just....” He runs a hand through his hair then gazes at me for a moment. Without a word, he strokes my cheek, his face looks torn, like he doesn’t know what to say or do.
“What is it?” I ask placing my hand against his as it rests on my cheek.
“You freaked out earlier then you left me,” he says darkly. “I don't know why, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything you’re not ready to do’ – I place my finger against his lips to silence him.
“I was ready then,” I tell him but he still looks concerned.
“I can't take that chance,” he says shaking his head.
“Take what chance?” I squeak.
“You leaving me again,” he breathes.
“But’ – “Coral, I’m not going to do anything until you’re ready to tell me.” He says his voice firm, his dark chocolate eyes seeing straight through me.
I sigh heavily. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?” Tristan shakes his head at me. Great! So, he’s not going to have sex with me unless I tell him why I freaked out earlier? I shake my head in annoyance. I don’t want to tell him, but I want him and I want it to stop. I want to stop freaking out about it.
“You’re not going to like it,” I tremble, pulling my gaze away from his.
“I want to know,” he tells me softly. “You can tell me anything baby.”
“You’re going to regret you said that,” I choke out nervously.
“Am I?” he says, gripping my face in his hands so I have to look at him. His face is contorted as though he’s in pain. “Tell me,” he orders.
And just like that all my defenses fall down and I blurt it out. “I was raped,” I whisper.
Tristan’s eyes narrow for a moment then widen with shock. In a flash, he is up on his feet glaring down at me. His jaw is set, his teeth grinding together, and his hands are clenched into fists; the tendons and veins in his forearms sticking up in response. His breathing is heavy, eyes dilated, almost black. He looks really, really, angry – Shit!
I can’t let this come between us – I can't lose him because of this.
“Tristan,” I beg holding my hand out to him. “Please don’t let this change how you feel about me, I’m begging you.” He silently holds up his forefinger in response, I stop talking.
Once his breathing has calmed down, he finally speaks to me. “Give me a minute,” he says and storms off to the downstairs bathroom – Fuck what have I done, I knew this would happen.
I grip my head in my hands and start to rock myself. The angry tears are back, I fight against them, but they silently fall against my cheeks. Now I’m really pissed – It seemed like the right thing to do, George said I should tell him, and if we had ended up staying together, I know I would have eventually told him – Fuck what have I done?
Strong arms envelope me from behind – I snap my head up just as Tristan crushes me to him, so hard in fact I have to tell him. “Tristan...c-can't....b-b-breath.....” He relaxes his grip a little, but still says nothing. My heart slowly relaxes. He came back. I haven’t lost him – Well, at least I don’t think I have?
“Tristan,” I whisper turning around, gripping onto his vest and crushing myself harder against him. “Please...say something.” He doesn’t respond with words. He just crushes me harder against him, his arms wrapped tightly around me, and starts rocking me back and forth, staring blankly into the fire.
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I croak.
He freezes then glares down at me. “What? What kind of thing is that to say?” he asks in astonishment.
“I...I just don’t want it to change how you feel for me?” I squeak out.
“Well it has!” He answers sharply, gripping me tighter. I wrap my arm around his neck, caressing the hair at the nape of his neck.
“Please come back to me,” I whisper kissing his ear, his sideburn, his cheek. Tristan looks down at the floor, then back at the fire, contemplating his response.
Finally, he glares back at me. “I want to know who. I want to know when. I want to know everything. His
name, what he looked like, everything...you will tell me,” he says, his voice is low and menacing. My breathe catches in my throat – Does Tristan have a dark side?
“I’ –“Coral!” Tristan shakes his head so subtlety than it sends a shiver of fear running down my spine.
“Ok, you’re scaring me now,” I choke, wanting to get up and out of his arms. His eyes slowly close, and he takes several deep breaths to calm himself.
“I’m sorry,” he softly says. H opens his eyes and I can see my Tristan is back, his eyes the colour of milk chocolate.
“Don’t be,” I answer, kissing him lightly on the lips, but he doesn’t reciprocate. I pull back frowning deeply at him, at his behaviour. Feeling angry, I scramble out of his arms and up onto my feet. “So this is it! This is how it’s going to be? I let you in, opened my heart to you, and this is your reaction? I knew I shouldn’t have come back, I knew I shouldn’t have told you!” I screech as I pace up and down, my hands clenched into fists.
Tristan stands in one fluid movement and moves towards me. “Coral,” he reaches his hand out to me.
“Stay away from me,” I choke turning my back on him. He doesn’t want me. So this is what rejection feels like? My legs tremble and I hit the floor, choking back angry tears. I feel his arms wrap around me again, my back to his front. I try to struggle free but it’s useless.
“Stop Coral…stop! I’m sorry baby, I just...that was the last thing I expected to hear,” he says, trying to sooth me. “Please baby, calm down...please.” Tristan squeezes me tighter. “Coral, listen to me. Nothing’s changed, nothing’s changed at all. Please believe me, I still want you, I still want to be with you. I just didn’t know how to handle...” Tristan breaks off again.
I finally turn my head and our eyes meet. I can see his anguish, his pain for me. I turn my body around and launch myself against his chest. His arms wrap around me, making me feel safe and secure.
“I'm so sorry baby,” he whispers into my ear. I close my eyes and surrender to the feeling. I’ve never allowed myself to be vulnerable with anyone besides George, so I relish the feeling and let a few stray tears fall. For some reason I know it’s ok and Tristan isn’t going to turn me away. If anything, he’ll be more protective of me. I'm starting to realise I kind of like that.
“I still want you to tell me,” he croaks, rocking me gently.
“I think it’s best’ – “Coral’ – “No don't Coral me,” I argue leaning back to look at him. “It happened on a Sunday night, he said he was from London, but I doubt that anything he told me was true’ – “Do you remember his name?” I close my eyes for a second.
“I didn’t tell you so you could drill it out of me you know,” I say gritting my teeth.
Tristan sighs heavily. “But we might be able to catch him’ – “He did give a name,” I interrupt. “But when I looked him up, there was no one by that name living in any area of London.” Tristan exhales slowly. “Believe me, I checked just in-case I did find him. Besides, you know how the system works, even if we catch him it’s my word against his and it happened two years ago Tristan, there’s no evidence…” I drift off.
Tristan winces knowing exactly what I mean. “If we find him, it doesn’t have to go through the system. I’ll make his life hell, he’ll wish he’d never been born. If I find the fucker, I’ll have him tortured, they can knee-cap him first then slowly pull his fucking fingernails off, one by one,” he rants.
“Stop,” I shout. “Please no more,” I say weakly. I don't want to think or talk about him anymore. I stare back at his big chocolate eyes I can see he’s still angry about it. His jaw tenses several times, then he looks down at the floor, takes in a deep breath, and slowly exhales it.
“Better?” I ask.
“No, not really,” he says looking down at me. “But no more,” he adds repeating my words. I close my eyes in relief. I feel Tristan pull me to him, crushing me against his body again.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Oh baby,” he coos, rocking me again. Then he takes my hand and leads me over to the beanbags. We sit watching the fire again, quietly sipping more brandy. Tristan hasn’t said anything more about it, which I'm thankful for. I don't want to re-live it, I don't want to remember – I just want to get better….
I WAKE UP STARTLED. It’s pitch black outside, so the only light is from the fire that’s still on, keeping us warm. Tristan’s music is still playing. Rumer is singing Slow. I turn and see Tristan is softly sleeping. Wow, he looks so cute and sexy at the same time!
I watch Tristan sleeping as I listen to the words of the song. I wonder if this is how I make Tristan feel, because it’s how he makes me feel, word for word. Suddenly one of his eyes flutter open and he gazes up at me. I smile, feeling shy that he caught me watching him; he silently reaches up and strokes my cheek.
“You ok?” He croaks.
“Yes, we fell asleep,” I whisper.
“Yeah, I guess we did.” He smiles, then yawns.
“Come on, let’s go to bed.” I stand and hold my hands out to him, he smiles enigmatically at me places his hands in mine, and I pull him to his feet.
“Why don’t you go up,” he says. “I’ll switch everything off.”
“I’ll stay,” I whisper, not wanting to be apart from him. I don’t like big houses with dark rooms, they scare me.
He cocks his head to the side. “You don’t want to go up?”
“No, not without you,” I whisper.
“Why?” He asks his eyebrows pulled together.
I stare down at the floor. “I don’t like dark, empty places, reminds me of being a kid.” I shudder slightly and wrap my arms around myself.
Tristan frowns and nods once. “I can understand that,” he softly says.
I smile up at him, feeling shy again. His eyes darken and that magnetic pull fills my stomach again. Slowly, he reaches out, takes my face in his hands and softly kisses me, making my stomach flutter madly. Then he lets go, bends down and switches of the fire and the music.
Taking my hand, we pad into the kitchen. “Want some water?” He asks.
“Please.” He fills two glasses and hands one to me. “Oh! My bags,” I squeak remembering them.
“I’ll get them,” he says passing me his water. I watch Tristan walk down the hallway, pick up my overnight bag and my handbag and walk back over to me.
“I have to say, it doesn’t suit you,” I giggle.
“What?” He questions.
“The handbag,” I say cocking an eyebrow up.
He looks down at the bag on his shoulder. “Yes, I have to agree, here.” He pulls the bag off his shoulder and hands it to me. I throw it over my shoulder and giggle up at him. “Yes, definitely suits you more,” he says leaning down to kiss me. I can't help giggling again. “I love that sound,” he says.
“What?” I laugh.
“You giggling, it’s very sweet,” he says, tucking my hair behind my ear then he leans down and kisses my forehead. “Shall we?” he says, gesturing for me to go first.
“Yes.” I smile up at him and we silently head up the stairs.
As we reach the master suite, Tristan flicks the light on. I eye the big bed with renewed appreciation. Placing my glass on the floor, I collapse onto the bed and smile. Mmm, it’s so comfortable. Tristan reaches into his overnight bag and pulls out two glass looking objects, flicks them in his hands, and they start to glow, like candles.
“What are those?” I question.
“Electronic candles.” He smiles wryly at me.
“You and technology,” I chuckle.
“Well…there safer than candles, and they last a long time.” He says as he switches off the main light. The room suddenly takes on a warm, romantic atmosphere. Tristan smiles at me then heads off into the bathroom. I lie on my back staring up at the ceiling, watching the strange shadows flickering from the candles.
The bathroom door opens and Tristan comes walking over to me, stripping his vest as he d
oes, and throws it on the floor. Wow, he really is an Adonis. He has the perfect v shape and no chest hair, his body is just so…perfect. He must work out a lot. My heart starts to beat erratically, just as butterflies swarm in my stomach and in that moment, I know – I’m going to bed him and I don’t feel nervous about it – I want him so badly and I want him now – I’ve decided.
Sliding off the bed, I make my way to the bathroom. I quickly brush my hair, and strip my sweats off. Then I pad back into the bedroom. Tristan is lying on his back, watching me walk towards him.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes,” he tells me in that sexy husky voice of his. I reach the bed and without a word, I straddle him; he looks so confused.
“Coral, what are you’ - “I want you,” I tell him. “So badly,” I add leaning down to kiss him hard, forcing his lips apart, lapping my tongue against his. I run my hands across his chest, down his abdomen and into his sweats, my eyebrows raise in surprise.
“Commando.” I smile.
“Yeah,” he croaks.
“I like that,” I tell him kissing him again.
“Coral…” Tristan takes hold of both my wrists, and sits up so we are nose to nose. “Don’t do this because’ – “Stop!” I say. “And let go.” Tristan instantly releases my wrists. I can see he is very, very hesitant about this, so I decide to give him a challenge.
Taking a breathe I rest my hands on his broad shoulders. “Tristan,” I whisper closing my eyes for a moment. “I love you,” I say opening them up to see his reaction. He looks shocked, in awe, and kind of school boy bashful that he would hear this from me. “I haven’t with anyone since…and that was two years ago. I’d really like to replace all those negative emotions, with positive ones, and I want you to be the one to do it. I know you can, I love you, I trust you, I feel so safe and protected with you, and I’m so god damn crazy about you. I have been from the very beginning…” I shake my head at myself, surprised at what I am saying. “If I had a pound for every time I’ve pictured you naked, I swear I’d be a very rich woman by now.”
Tristan lips quirk up at the corners, as he stares back at me in wonder. “Please,” I beg. “I want this, and I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my entire life.” I can see I’m getting through to him, but he’s still hesitant.
CORAL - Fallen (A Romance Trilogy, Book 2) Page 3
