by Riley Knight
“Oh. Well, from what I’ve heard, it can be a fair bit easier to adopt if you’re married, but it’s not impossible.” Mark frowned thoughtfully, picking up his coffee and taking a sip from it once more, now that some of the shock had passed and he wasn’t going to choke on it.
Scott frowned a little bit, working that over in his head. Mark watched him closely, wondering if the obvious solution would occur to Scott, as it had to Mark.
“It sounds kind of weird, but … if I could find someone to marry, someone that wanted to help co-parent but didn’t necessarily want all the other stuff …” Scott’s voice trailed off, and he looked at Mark and then glanced away, as though worried that Mark might judge him.
Only that was the solution that Mark had come up with, too. The one that made the most sense to him. The social workers who handled adoption did, in his experience, tend to prefer couples who were married, who could potentially provide a more stable home.
Adoption could be a long process, and a difficult one. Anything to make it easier could be a good thing.
“Give it a bit and think about it,” Mark cautioned. Getting married, even just as friends and co-parents, was a big decision. Mark had sworn off of it himself … which made him quite insane for even considering what he was considering.
What would it be like to be married to someone like Scott? Someone beautiful, charming, intelligent, hilarious?
And straight, he reminded himself. Or at least, Scott thought he was straight. It wasn’t Mark’s job to try to show him otherwise.
“I know what I want,” Scott said, and Mark frowned a little, looking at the man, trying to read his face. He didn’t know Scott very well, but he fancied himself a pretty good judge of character, and from what he could tell, Scott had a stubborn streak a mile wide, and he’d dug his heels in pretty nicely at this point.
Mark searched his face and then shook his head a little bit and looked away.
“Have you spent any time with kids?”
Scott nodded, but there was a bit of hesitation to it, and Mark frowned when he saw that.
“Recently?” he elaborated, and Scott paused once more and then shook his head slowly.
“No. My older sister has a son, and I’ve spent some time with him, but he’s almost a teenager. It’s been awhile.”
Mark considered that. Honestly, it was more than he would have expected. Scott had this air about him of worldly sophistication, and it was a little difficult to imagine him taking care of a baby, but he clearly had some experience, at least.
“Look, I adopted my daughter. You could come meet her. See if you even like kids.” It was a huge deal for Mark to allow that to happen. He’d dated people who had never met his daughter. Despite his surprise success, he’d kept Mary Anne largely out of it.
So it was an extraordinary offer, and he had to wonder at himself even while he made it. Who was Scott to him? Of course, Mark would be right there the entire time.
“Really?” Scott asked, surprise radiating off of him. Mark nodded slowly. He was rarely wrong about people, and something about Scott was telling him that he was trustworthy. And maybe it could help Scott think out whether this adoption thing was something that he really wanted.
“I’d love that,” Scott spoke simply, but it seemed sincere. “Here, give me your number.”
Scott passed his phone over, and Mark tugged his own out of his pocket and handed it to Scott. Of course, someone at Scott’s work had Mark’s number, but exchanging it this way was much more direct.
God help him, he didn’t hate the idea of being more directly connected to Scott. He didn’t hate the idea of seeing him again, of talking to him more. It was dangerous, and he knew it. It was like he was walking closer to the edge of a tall, high cliff, and he knew he should stop before he hurtled himself right over into the unknown.
He kept taking those steps, though. He kept inching himself closer to that edge, just one slow step at a time. He was such an idiot sometimes.
“Great. I’ll text you,” Scott said and then drank down the rest of his coffee. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
Mark nodded, watching as Scott rose to his feet with a smooth, undeniable grace. Something about the way he moved made Mark wonder what the guy looked like naked. He would very much like to find out. It was never going to happen, and he should probably just accept that, but damn. That ass. Those broad shoulders. That slender waist.
Mark had finally done it. He’d finally gone completely and totally insane. He was normally so much more cautious than this, and had been, ever since his divorce. It was rare that he invited anyone into his space, other than his daughter’s friends.
Normally, it was just him and his work.
But maybe that’s why he’d decided to go for it. Maybe he was sick of it being that way. Maybe it was just that, in Scott, he sensed a sort of kindred spirit, the kind of person that threw themselves heart and soul into everything that they did. Maybe he and Scott, together, could work on having something other than work in their lives. Mark had Mary Anne, of course, but she was growing up, needing him less all of the time.
For a long time, Mark just sat there, thinking about the turn that his life had taken. Yet somehow, it did feel like the right thing to do, and eventually, he took a deep breath and left the coffee shop himself.
Chapter Three
Scott
Somehow, Mark’s face wouldn’t leave Scott’s mind. Every time Scott closed his eyes, even just to blink, Mark was there, those intense, stormy eyes gazing at him as though they could read his mind. His very soul.
Scott had felt drawn to him in a way that he couldn’t quite explain. Mark was strange and quiet and calm, but there was something about him that reminded Scott of an old saying. The one about still waters running deep. Mark was the very epitome of that.
It was the very same night as their coffee date that Scott had texted Mark. Less than two hours after they’d separated, Scott had found himself looking at his phone, playing with it. He’d pressed the button to bring up his text messages, and, without really consciously deciding to, he had sent Mark a text.
Scott didn’t usually have long text conversations. He didn’t normally have the time for them. Mark, it seemed, was an exception, because when the other man had gotten back to Scott, they’d ended up talking far into the night.
Mark wasn’t shallow. That’s what Scott learned. He thought about things deeply, which was part of why he was so quiet. Get under that reserve, though, as Scott was starting to flatter himself that he was doing, and there were a quick mind and a wicked sense of humor.
They hadn’t really stopped texting each other for days.
Oh, of course, they took breaks, to sleep and eat, and Scott had work. But one or the other of them would always start the conversation back up again. As the week passed, as they got closer to the weekend, Scott found himself typing out a question that might seem innocent enough.
Do you want to go out tonight?
It wasn’t the sort of thing that would be a big deal, for most people. It was pretty normal to go out with someone when you were friends with them, for instance. But after spending all of these days in near constant communication, Scott had to admit, as he looked at the question, that if he had sent that text to a woman, it would have been because he was asking her out.
What scared him even more than that, though, was the realization that he wouldn’t mind going on a date with Mark at all. That, in fact, the way he was coming to feel for Mark would be highly welcome to Scott, who had been looking for romance for a very long time.
Falling in love was supposed to be this big thing in someone’s life, but Scott had never felt even an inkling of that before. Infatuation, sure. Desire, yes, definitely. But love? It was the sort of thing that he’d come to suspect he was waiting for in vain.
Too bad Mark was a man.
Still, when Mark texted back that yes, he would like to go out, and when Scott realized that it was Friday night, a big
date night, he couldn’t help but grin. Oh, he was nervous, but he wanted to do this.
It was like Mark was somehow completely irresistible, and now that Scott had fallen under his spell, he couldn’t get away from him.
The really amazing part about that is that he didn’t really even want to try.
* * *
Everything about it felt like a date. Like a true, romantic date, two people who really, really wanted to spend time together, to explore the chemistry between them. Scott had been on enough dates in his life to know what they felt like, and he couldn’t quite push away the knowledge that this was one.
Nor could he deny that he liked it. That he wanted to be here, looking across the table at his date, or that he wanted his date to be Mark. Man or not, Mark utterly fascinated him.
They’d picked a small sushi restaurant by Scott’s work, one that he knew well. As they ate, daringly choosing the strangest, most obscure menu items for each other to try, Scott laughed more than he was used to, and, more than that, he got the distinct pleasure of seeing Mark, serious, calm Mark, cracking up as well.
Damned if the man wasn’t gorgeous when he laughed.
When they were done, having survived the adventure, and the bill was paid, Scott looked at Mark and searched his face. They could go. The date could be over, if Scott wanted.
But he didn’t. That was the last thing that he wanted. He stared at Mark, and Mark looked back, and there was this odd, tingling sort of tension between them that seemed to stretch on and on.
“Want to go for a walk?” Scott said, desperate to come up with something, anything, to keep this going. What was even going on with him?
It had been so easy for him to push aside any strange feelings he’d had about men before. Why couldn’t he do the same for Mark? What was it about the man that held Scott utterly enthralled, that had him, more and more, feeling the urge to be with him always?
“Yeah,” Mark agreed, and they walked out into the darkness together. It was a warm night, and, without needing to talk about it, they headed toward the ocean, which was honestly one of Scott’s favorite places.
As they wandered, Scott stole little glances at Mark’s face, at the set of his full lips, which looked so impossibly soft that Scott wanted to brush his fingertips over them to test their texture. At the way, the shadows darkened his eyes just a little and turned them to shining silver.
The same color, Scott noted, like the waves, silvered by the moonlight.
They chattered as they walked, but it was all fairly light stuff. There were things that Scott found himself wanting to say, found himself wanting to ask, but he didn’t know the words.
Mark rescued him. As the two of them found a bench and sat down together, close enough that their shoulders brushed, Mark turned to look at him. It felt nice, being so close to him. The evening was getting slightly cool, finally, and just having Mark’s body there against Scott’s was deeply comforting.
Not just comforting, though. This close, Scott could actually smell Mark, a distinct, subtle, but very masculine scent that Scott could have recognized anywhere. It was Mark, mysterious and elusive and … and sexy, Scott had to admit, at least to himself, at least for a second or two.
“So what is this?” Mark asked directly, which had been the very question that Scott had wanted to ask, but he’d been too freaked out by the potential answer. “Is this a date, or what?”
Now that the question had been asked, Scott found that he had no idea what the answer should be. So he just sighed softly, wordlessly, and rested his head on Mark’s shoulder.
What did it look like to anyone walking by? That they were a gay couple, no doubt. Maybe that should have bothered Scott, but he was taking too much comfort from being close to the other man to even try to pull away.
“It’s … something,” Scott said quietly. Part of him would like to deny that it was anything at all. The part of him that had insisted, his whole life, that he was straight, no matter who he was attracted to or what he did with them, that part protested, but the logical side of his brain had to admit that there was something here.
“Okay,” Mark said, and for a long time, they just sat there, watching as the moon slowly moved across the sky, casting its silvery shadows over everything. Mark, Scott had to admit to himself, looked remarkably beautiful in the moonlight. It suited his paleness, made him almost seem to glow.
Scott had slept with a great many people, and yet, somehow, this seemed more intimate than any of that. Sitting there, with Mark beside him, watching him as Mark watched the water, it was beautiful and intense and special, somehow, in a way that he wasn’t used to.
Was this what it was like?
That was ridiculous, though. This was a man. He wasn’t going to fall in love with a man. There was no doubt that Mark was a really, really cool person, and that Scott wanted to be around him, but …
And then, just like that, Mark leaned in, and his lips pressed lightly, searchingly, against Scott’s.
Mark gave him all of the time in the world to pull away if he wanted to. His hands weren’t even on Scott at the time, he wasn’t holding him there, forcing him to stay there. It was Scott’s choice to allow himself to be kissed, and it was his choice to stay there and continue to let it happen.
Instead, Scott groaned softly, and he reached up, grasping Mark’s head, cupping his cheeks with his hands. He pulled him close against himself, opening his lips to him, allowing the deeply thrilling sensation of Mark’s hot tongue and eager mouth to resonate through his whole body.
In some weird way, it was like he’d been waiting his whole life to be kissed by this man. Like, now that it was happening, he could no more pull away from it than he could stop breathing.
If they had looked like a couple before, Scott thought breathlessly, as most of him was focused on the thrilling interplay of their lips and tongues together, as their arms came around each other and Scott could actually feel the pounding of Mark’s heart against his, then they definitely looked like they were together now.
Not that he cared. Maybe later he would, but he’d deal with later when it happened. For the moment, all he wanted was more. More of Mark’s hands on him, more of his own hands on Mark, he wanted to explore over that hot, smooth skin, touch and kiss and claim …
“Take me home with you,” Mark quietly asked when the kiss finally ended so that they could both breathe a little bit.
“Yeah?” Scott asked and then felt a brief twinge of guilt. “What about Mary Anne?”
“She’s with my brother. Scott, I mean it. Take me home with you. I need you.”
Right there on the park bench, Mark gripped Scott’s hand and put it on the front of his pants, where the line of his cock could be seen clearly against the fabric. Scott closed his eyes and uttered a low, guttural groan as he felt that hardness, when he traced over that length.
They were in public, but no one was around. Still, Mark had the right idea. They needed to get somewhere private because this was all too much.
Scott tried to limit his experiences with other men. He’d fooled around before, and that was fine, he figured, now and then. But he didn’t like to think about what it meant if he went too far.
He couldn’t remember ever being this hard, though. Or wanting to see someone naked as much, or touch them. Especially touch them. That cloth in the way had kept him from touching nearly as much as he wanted to.
Besides, Mark was something to him. He might not be able to quite figure out what it was, but it was something that meant something, he knew that much. It would be a new experience for him to sleep with someone like that.
“Come with me,” he said and led the way back toward his car, which was a short walk away at his work. Yes, oh God, yes, he would bring Mark home with him, and he would see what that brought them.
The whole way back to the car, Mark had his arm around Scott’s shoulders, and the warmth that brought, the sense of belonging, was something that Scott had no experience
with.
He liked it, though. He knew that much.
Chapter Four
Mark
This was utterly insane.
It had been awhile since Mark had last taken anyone to bed. It honestly didn’t seem worth it, most of the time, not when his daughter was the most important thing in his life. Not when most people seemed to be crazy, or too clingy, or not interested in him because of his child.
Or only interested in him because of his fame.
It had gotten to the point where he just didn’t bother. Where building anything real, which was all that he really wanted these days, just seemed impossible. Where a few minutes of pleasure wasn’t worth the effort of getting rid of the person after.
So yes. It had been quite a while since Mark had taken anyone to bed. He’d kept himself so busy that it had been awhile since he’d even seriously felt the urge to do so, at least in more than a passing way.
Then Scott came along and utterly fascinated him. Brought him to the point where he didn’t care anymore about any of that. He wanted Scott. He wanted him desperately.
But it was more than that. Mark had to admit that, even to himself. He wouldn’t have let just anyone meet Mary Anne. That was a huge deal to him. The hugest.
All in all, it was adding up to a situation that Mark felt like he should probably be avoiding. Falling for a straight man was a dangerous thing to do, and yet, wasn’t that exactly what was happening?
The smart thing to do would be to go immediately home, after picking Mary Anne up, of course. To forget that any of this was happening.
Only from the moment that they’d kissed, he’d already known that it was impossible for him to do that. That he could no more turn down what he very much suspected was going to happen than he could fly.
In the car, he couldn’t stop looking at Scott. After a while, though, looking wasn’t enough, and he had to reach over and touch him. He kept it careful, though, not wanting to distract the man while he was driving, but he did rest his hand on Scott’s upper thigh.
