by Kim Loraine
Gabriel nods, disappearing once again in a flash of brilliant light.
What the fuck was that? I think.
That was me playing my last bluff. Sariel’s voice in my head startles me.
Is this how it’s going to be? You keep control, and I don’t get to have any fun?
He laughs. No. I’ll share.
Good, because I plan to take full advantage of the incubus aspect of having a Watcher.
I’m not sure it works that way, Devin.
Seriously? I’m giving up my freedom and I can’t even get laid when I want?
We’ll see. It’s been a long time since I was awake.
I start to panic a little at this revelation. I thought having a working dick was the silver lining to giving Sariel a vessel. Now, I’m not so sure. Listen, give me five years. Five years to sow my oats, live it up. Then I’ll give you full control. You can use my body to find your soul mate until the end of time.
I can feel Sariel’s hope begin to burn a little brighter. Really? You’d do that?
I will. I’m tired. I’ve lived a long time, done some terrible things.
He stares at Reese. A feeling of warmth flows over him and bleeds onto me. You saved Galen. That’s not terrible.
I scoff. Just one good deed in the wake of almost two hundred years’ worth of bad.
Redemption is not about equalizing the good and bad, it’s about repentance and your choices moving forward.
I fight the urge to laugh. Says the fallen angel.
He doesn’t answer me, just reaches a hand out to stroke Reese’s cheek. Her big blue eyes focus on him, and she smiles. “Thank you.”
Offering her a curt nod, he shifts, a distance growing between him and me. It’s a weird-as-fuck feeling. My chest expands, tingles running down my arms and legs, and then I’m me again.
“Devin,” Reese says. ‘You okay?”
Shaking my head to clear the fog in my brain, I assess my surroundings. “That’s going to take some getting used to.”
She smiles again. “I don’t know if Galen ever got used to it.” A worried look crosses her face. “What if he doesn’t wake up?”
Heaving a sigh, I don’t know what to tell her. I settle for a lie. “He’ll wake up. Everything will be fine.”
I feel strange, like I’m swimming, or floating. Everything moves in slow motion as I turn my head to one side. I don’t understand why I’m here. I should be with Reese. I want Reese. Then I remember. I died.
Andrea killed me.
Fucking hell.
Is that what this is? I’m in Hell. It’s not as bad as I thought. I figured eternal damnation meant indescribable torment. Instead, I’m just here, floating in a nebulous pool of … nothing. But then my heart cracks—no, it splinters apart when I realize what this means. I’m done. I’ll never hold Reese again. Never meet our child. I failed her.
As I drift aimlessly, the pool becomes an ocean, cold water lapping at my skin. I watch the sky change from the velvet black of midnight to the warmer tones of sunrise. Panic spreads over me at the sight. I’m completely exposed, nowhere to go. I try to swim away, search for some kind of safe haven, but the glow gets brighter, the light’s reach growing wider. I stop struggling, giving in to the inevitable. I welcome the sun as it spreads over my body. The heat blankets me, burning along skin that hasn’t seen daylight in one hundred years.
Focusing on nothing else, I picture Reese. She’s smiling as I lean in to kiss her. The moment our lips touch, my world goes white.
Galen hasn’t woken up. It’s been three days. I’m here alone in the daylight, no vampires, no angels, just me—waiting. I spend my days wandering the fields or by his bed, keeping watch over him as he sleeps. His chest is so still. Every hour that passes without him is another hour I think Gabriel tricked us. He said what he knew we wanted to hear so he could get Sariel. Anxiety spreads like a cancer in my mind, turning my stomach and making my heart race.
It’s not so bad after sundown. Devin rises and waits with me, bringing me food, making me sleep. If it weren’t for him, I’d have lost my mind by now.
“Any change?” Devin asks.
I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of his question. He’s so quiet, even more than usual now that Sariel shares his body. “No. I thought his hand moved earlier, but I’m pretty sure I was dreaming.”
A frown furrows Devin’s blond eyebrows, and he crosses the room, placing a hand on Galen’s forehead. “He’s warm. And sweating.”
Confusion swirls in my mind as I try to figure out why this is a bad thing. “That’s good, right? That means he’s getting better.”
Devin shakes his head and holds out his hand. I move away, but he’s faster, his cold fingers clamping down on my arm. “He shouldn’t be warm.”
My heart drops to my stomach. Something is going wrong, and I’m powerless to stop it. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I run my fingers over Galen’s cheek, savoring the strong features I love so much. I want to commit him to memory so I can call him to me whenever I need him. Devin is right. Galen’s skin is almost feverish. Tracing the line of his jaw, I watch his body for any sign of life. The wound in his chest healed as soon as Gabriel pulled the stake free, but Galen hasn’t moved a muscle since then.
Curling up next to him, I lay my head on his chest, listening for any sign of life. Devin is stroking my hair as I hold Galen. It makes me uncomfortable, him touching me.
An audible gasp escapes him, and I turn my head to glance at him. He’s standing at least twenty feet away from us. There’s no way he could be the one still stroking my hair. My heart feels like it might burst as I return my gaze to Galen. He’s got a soft smile on his lips, color in his cheeks, and his hand has drifted down to cup my ass.
“There’s a nice way to greet your man.” His voice is rough, like sandpaper against concrete. “Fucking hell, my throat’s dry as the desert.”
His lashes flutter open, irises deeper and more intense brown than they’ve ever been.
“How do you feel?”
“Right now? Like I could eat enough to feed an army. How long has it been?”
“Three days,” Devin states, cautious, as though he may not be sure this is really Galen.
Pushing himself to a sitting position, Galen groans and stretches his underused muscles. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.” He makes a pained noise as he swings his legs over the side of the bed. “Jesus, my legs are like lead.”
I rub his back gently. “I’m sure you need to feed. Do you remember what happened?”
“Andrea fucking staked me. Where is she?” He trembles with undiluted fury.
“She’s dead. Don’t you remember? Gabriel destroyed her with a touch of his hand. She wasn’t Andrea anymore. I don’t think she had been for a long time.” Devin steps a little closer to his friend.
“Gadriel. How did he disguise himself? How did Sariel not sense him?” Galen asks.
Devin shrugs. “He thinks there must be some sort of cloaking spell or rune hiding them from the other angels until they decided to make their move.”
Galen fully shifts his focus to Devin. “You. You took Sariel. I can’t believe you’d do that for me.”
“I couldn’t let you die. Where would I get my nightly quota of moody Irishman? I’d have to train a newbie, get him to be just the right blend of asshole and good guy. No, thanks. Besides, I think you’ve had enough fun. It’s my turn to help Sariel feed.” Devin rubs his hands together with anticipation.
Galen chuckles and shakes his head. “You’re a sick bastard.”
“No. You’re the bastard. My parents were married, thank you.”
Extending a hand, Devin helps Galen to his feet. I watch as Galen sways in his spot. Standing, I walk to him, pressing my hands on his chest to keep him from taking another step.
“You need to feed. Devin, can you give us some privacy?”
Devin raises an eyebrow and opens his mouth as if to say something, but he thinks better of
it. Instead, he nods, making his way up the stairs and shutting the trapdoor behind him.
Unable to wait any longer, I crush my mouth to Galen’s. I’ve missed him, the scent of his skin, the silky feel of his hair, and the fire he ignites inside me.
He pulls away, gasping for breath. “I … I don’t have Sariel anymore.”
I can’t hide my smile. “I know.”
Shaking his head, he sits down on the bed again. “I can’t,” he grips the back of his neck with one hand. “I can’t be with you the same way.”
My disappointment must show, because a hurt look flashes across his features. I regain my composure, pushing him back to lie on the bed. “Let’s take care of you feeding first. We’ll figure the rest out as we go.”
Unbuttoning my shirt, I slip it off and unhook my bra, baring my breasts. His mark still lingers on my left breast, just a faint bruise. As I trail my fingers along my collarbones and over my sensitive nipples, he licks his lips, and a strange look flickers across his face. I straddle him, leaning over his chest and claiming his lips with mine. I don’t care if we can’t have sex. I just want him to love me any way he can.
“Do you want my breast or my neck?” I ask as I slide my mouth over his jaw.
He stills. “Neither.”
I frown. “What?”
“I … I’m not sure, but, I think my fangs are gone.” A look of confusion creases his brow. Lifting me off him, he walks to the mirror and inspects his mouth. “They’re fucking gone,” he whispers. Then, rushing back to me, he grabs my hand and presses it to his chest. A steady and rhythmic thump … thump … thump beats under my palm. His pulse is strong, but most of all, it’s the same speed as mine.
“Sariel!” he calls, helping me slip on my shirt before making his way to the stairs.
The Watcher meets us at the trapdoor, looking annoyed. “What?”
“What’s happened to me? My fangs have disappeared. My heart is beating like a human’s.”
Sariel glances heavenward and smiles. “Gabriel.”
Letting out a harsh breath, Galen shoves him. “What do you mean?”
“He gave you back your soul, as he and I agreed on. But it looks like he also gave you back your life.”
My heart flutters like a caged bird. “He—he’s human?”
Placing his hand on the crown of Galen’s head, Sariel breathes deep. “Yes. He’ll live and die like the rest of you.”
Tears blur my vision, but for the first time in a long time, it’s because of something good.
My chest feels like it’s being crushed by the weight of Sariel’s words. Human. I don’t know if I can even remember what it was like to be normal. My stomach growls, nothing like the all-consuming fire driven by a desire to feed. No, this is a startling feeling that I’d forgotten. Everything in my field of vision is slightly blurry, fuzzy around the edges. My senses are so dull. Just moving from one side of the room to the other takes concentration. I’d had such heightened reflexes before. Frowning, I turn to Reese. My heart swells when I realize she’s just as beautiful as she’s always been.
“How do you stand it?” I ask.
“Stand what?”
“Being so slow. Wading through a world you’re barely seeing.”
Her brow furrows. “I’ve been fine for the last twenty-three years.” She props one hand on her cocked hip. “Is being human not good enough for you? Maybe we can call Gabriel and ask him to take your soul back.”
I can tell I messed up. Her tone holds a hint of derision. She doesn’t understand. It took me a few years to get used to being a vampire. It’s going to take some time to go backward.
“Give him a break, Reese. The ass isn’t used to being a weakling,” Devin pipes up, smiling.
I can’t fight my grin at her shock, like she can’t believe Devin is joking around at a time like this. She opens her mouth and closes it again. Staring at both of us, she scoffs. “Oh, I’m sorry, is it too much for me, a weak little human, to want him to be happy? Is it so terrible to be the same as me, Galen?” Her voice trembles.
“I’m just … I wasn’t prepared for this,” I admit. “This is so far beyond the scope of my imagination.”
Devin claps me on the back, making sharp tingles radiate over my shoulder. Damn, that hurt. “Now you get to live a life with Reese instead of just watching her live hers.”
I can feel the blood drain from my head. It’s sort of a dizzying chill in my cheeks and forehead. What if I die again? What if she gets hurt and I can’t heal her? I shake my head, muttering to myself. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this.”
Jaw set, Reese walks calmly past me and out into the night.
Devin sighs. “Fuck, Galen. What’s wrong with you? You’ve just been handed everything you could want. A fresh start, the love of your life, a chance at a family, and you don’t want it. I could punch you right now, but I might accidentally kill you.”
I sit, trying to calm my nerves. Everything is out of control. My body hurts, I feel physically ill. He doesn’t understand. I want it. I want it more than I can say. But now there’s so much that can go wrong.
“What if she doesn’t want me now?” I know I sound like a self-conscious prick, but it’s a valid question. I’m weak in comparison to the man I was when she met me.
Devin heaves a sigh. “God save me from melodramatic, self-pitying Irishmen.” He turns his gaze to me. “She’s meant for you. Sariel knows it, she knows it, even I fucking know it. Open your damn eyes. She would have fallen in love with you no matter what. That’s how the whole soul-mate thing works.”
Nodding, I take a breath to settle myself. He’s right. Standing, I start outside, but Devin stops me. “Don’t blow this.”
I shrug, but on the inside, I’m a mess. Stepping into the chill of the wee hours of the morning, I steel myself for a difficult conversation. She’s standing at the fence, hands braced on the long beam and staring at the horizon. The sky is just beginning to lighten, and I know Devin was risking himself to make sure we were okay. The colors change almost imperceptibly—unless you’ve had lots of practice judging the sky. I have. Fear takes hold in my gut. A hundred years spent hiding from the light has made my sense of self-preservation instinctive. What if I’m not really human, and the moment the sun rises, I’m toast? Watching Reese, I push my fears aside. She needs me, and I need her.
“I’m sorry, a ghra.” Hesitantly, I run a hand over hers. Skin that used to seem so warm under my cool fingers now feels the same as mine.
“Don’t you want this? Me? Isn’t this enough?” Her questions are thick with emotion, and they slice through my heart.
“It’s everything. More than I thought I could ever have again.”
“Then why did you …”
“I’m scared. Scared I’ll fuck it all up and be left without you, scared I’ll leave you alone, scared of so many fucking things.”
Her hand moves under mine, just a slight shift. “I am too. But this won’t work if you run away.”
Frustration gets the better of me, making me lash out, speaking too harshly. “I’m not running away. You expect me to just walk into the light without flinching? Give me time to figure this out. I love you. I’ll love you until my last breath. Nothing will change that. But I need to get my bearings.”
Heart in my throat, I watch her process what I’ve said. Her jaw clenches, and she takes a big breath. “Fine. Okay.” I can’t figure out what she’s thinking, whether she’s really accepting my statement or holding on to her fear. But then, she softens. “You know, that’s the first time you’ve said you love me.”
I’m such an arse. She’s right. I’ve thought it a million times, but the first time the words leave my lips, I’m telling her in anger. Pulling her to me, I kiss her hard. Her lips are soft, tasting the same as they always have. Relief floods me as I allow lust, my lust, to take over. My hands tangle in her hair as the kiss builds, growing and morphing into an all-consuming fire. Her tongue presses into my mouth, dan
cing against my own. A soft moan escapes her, and I can feel her warmth, the hitch in her breathing making her chest press harder into me. Tingles of arousal race straight to my crotch as my cock hardens. I could sink into her right here—lay her out in the grass and love her until she comes, screaming my name into the golden rays of morning. I have to look at her, see that her need matches my own. Tearing my lips from hers, I stare at her. Her mouth falls open and a soft gasp escapes her as her eyes widen.
“Galen,” she breathes, wonder behind my name.
“What?”
Reaching up, she cups my cheeks. “Your eyes. I’ve never seen them catch the sunlight. They’ve got flecks of gold in them. God, they’re amazing.”
At the word “sunlight,” I freeze. I’d been so caught up in her that I forgot all about the coming dawn. Looking past her, I gasp at the colors spilling over the sky. The golden sun is halfway crested, bathing everything in warm light. Rich green hills surround us, making it look as though we’re standing in a sea of lush grass. But when I turn my gaze back to the woman next to me, I can’t look away. She is glowing in the sun. Her hair holds so much red, it’s almost the color of burnished copper. I’d always thought she was a brunette, but now, in the light of day, the strands of red glitter change my perception.
Pulling her tight to me, I drink in the warmth of the morning. This is my beginning and I’m going to commit every second of it to memory.
“I love you, a ghra,” I say, squeezing her.
“Me too.”
“When do you think Gabriel will show up for Devin?” I ask as Galen shampoos my hair. As we lounge in the bath, I lean into his warmth while his big body supports me. It’s still hard to get used to him not being so cool to the touch.
Heaving a sigh, he scoops water into his cupped palms and rinses the soap from my scalp. “I don’t know. Maybe he won’t.”
I know he’s hoping for the best, but there’s no way this is over, at least not for Sariel. “Do you think the Watchers will still be after us?”
