“Because of him?” he asked quietly.
“No. Because of me. I gave my heart to him last night, and I’m afraid it’s not mine to give to someone else anymore. My heart…my love belongs to Nate.”
William sat silently. It was like she could hear the pieces of his heart breaking off and falling to the floor around his feet. It was terrible, the silence agonizing.
“Please understand that this isn’t about you,” she said. “I can’t help that I’ve met Nate and fallen for him. I know you’ll meet someone else. Someone who loves you for who you really are, not who you pretend to be. In fact, I know there’re about fifteen girls at work who would jump at a chance to date you, if you’d just ask them.”
“Maybe I will, once I’m over you. I’m sorry I forced you into this dinner. It was a mistake.” He took a deep gulp of wine, finishing the glass in one mouthful. “You should go to Nate. I won’t force you to stay here any longer now that I know you’re in love with him.”
“I’m so sorry.” She gathered her handbag from the back of her chair and stood. “I’m so sorry this isn’t ending how you hoped it would. I just can’t do it. I can’t pretend to feel something I don’t.”
“It’s okay, Amelia. I shouldn’t have done this. It’s my fault this has happened, not yours. Go ahead. Don’t keep Nate waiting any longer. If I had you coming to me, I wouldn’t want to wait any longer than I absolutely had to either.”
She paused by the table, wishing there was something else she could say to make this better, but she couldn’t think of anything. “Thanks. We’re, um, still friends, right?”
“Of course.” He threw some money down on the table. “Why don’t I walk you back to your room? End the date properly so I’m not left sitting at the table alone, like a chump.”
“Sure.” She followed him out of the restaurant. She didn’t want him to get hurt anymore than he already was and being left behind at the table would do just that.
They walked together back to her room in silence. He took her hand and squeezed it. “Thanks for being honest with me. Maybe if I’d been honest with you from the beginning, it would be different for us right now.”
“Maybe it would be. But I have to believe I still would have ended up in the same place. My heart was made for only Nate.”
“You’re probably right. He’s a lucky man to have a woman like you.”
They stopped outside of her room and he stared at her again like he was trying to remember her. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.
Please don’t try and kiss me.
Instead of making a move to kiss her, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in for a quick hug before releasing her again.
“You really think you’re going to work this out somehow even though you live nowhere near each other?”
Good question and one she didn’t know the answer to. She just had to believe that if she and Nate were meant to be, then somehow they’d find a way to make it work. She couldn’t let fear of the unknown hold her back from trying.
“I don’t know how, but we’ll find a way.”
“Nate’s a lucky guy,” he said again as if confirming it in his own mind and turned to walk back down the hall toward the elevator, leaving her alone outside her room.
“Thanks.” She whispered after him but didn’t know if he’d heard her or not. It didn’t really matter either way. Now she was free to go to Nate and she was going to tell him how she felt.
She loved him and he had to know it.
She slid her keycard into the door and turned the handle. Flipping on the light switch, she noticed something lying in the middle of the floor, as if it had been shoved under the door. A piece of hotel stationary. The logo for the Evergreen Lodge was printed across the top and messy, almost hurried handwriting was scribbled across the page.
“It’s over. I want nothing more to do with you. This weekend was a mistake. Have a nice life with William.”
Amelia’s heart broke into a million pieces when she saw Nate’s name signed at the bottom. In that second, it was as if she’d been punched in the gut and all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She tried to take a breath, but couldn’t.
This can’t be happening. This has to be a cruel joke.
She dropped the note and dialed the phone to Nate’s room with shaking hands. This had to be a mistake. That note couldn’t really be from Nate. Not the Nate who she’d fallen in love with. It couldn’t be.
The phone rang and rang, but only the hotel voicemail system picked up. She slammed it back down on the cradle.
No. I don’t believe it. Nate has to love me the way I love him. He has to.
She raced from her room and to the stairwell beside the elevator. She had to find Nate. She had to tell him about the stupid note she’d found and hear his laugh as he assured her it was just someone’s idea of a joke. He would be waiting in his room for her as they planned and that’s exactly where she headed.
Bounding up the stairs two at a time, she flew onto the fourth floor and down the hall to his room. She pounded on the door, trying to catch her breath as she waited for him to answer. She could hear the television inside his room playing some movie, but she didn’t hear any noise coming toward the door.
Why isn’t he answering?
She banged on the door a little louder, but still there was no answer. With every second that passed, she felt another piece of her heart crumble. She didn’t understand what had happened. She had to find a way to get Nate to talk to her so she could figure out what was going on.
This time she pounded her closed fist on the door and called out to him. “Nate. I know you’re in there. Come out and talk to me. Did you really leave me that note?”
Nothing.
“I’m not leaving without an answer. You owe me that. I don’t understand.”
The door handle turned and the door opened a crack. “Stop pounding on my door. You’re disturbing the neighbors. I did leave that note. I’m done with you and your lies about William. Go home with William and have a nice life. I’m done with you.”
Amelia stuck her foot through the doorway just as Nate started to close the door in her face. No way. No way was she letting him get away leaving her a note and no explanation.
“I’m not done talking to you yet.” She made her voice as strong as she could. She didn’t want her breaking heart to get in the way of what she had to ask. “Why? Why did you leave me that awful note?”
“Because I saw you tonight. I saw you have your romantic dinner with William after you said that you were too tired to eat with me.”
Amelia shook her head. He had it all wrong. It wasn’t that kind of dinner. Sure William wanted it to be, but it wasn’t. “I was too tired for dinner but I couldn’t say no to him.”
“Ouch. You can say no to me but not him, huh?” The accusation in Nate’s voice was painfully thick. “I see where I stand now.”
“No. It wasn’t like that. It was just—a work thing.” She wasn’t lying, not really. It was a work thing. If she hadn’t gone to dinner, Nate and Amelia would both be out of a job. She wasn’t willing to risk that when she knew how desperately Nate wanted his promotion.
She knew she should tell him the real reason for her dinner with William, but if she did that Nate would lose it. William was already hurting from her rejection and she couldn’t bare to think of adding to his pain by sending Nate after him. Besides, there was no point to it anymore. The blackmail was over, their jobs were both safe, and William knew where her heart belonged.
Now she just had to make Nate understand. She had to let him know that she loved him, only him. Not William—oh god, never William.
“I only went with William for dinner because it was work related,” she started. “I planned to be back in my room by the time you were done dinner. That way we could still spend our night together.”
Nate’s jaw clenched visibly. “Since when is it customary in a work dinner to stroke your co
lleague’s cheek, or dine over candlelight? I can’t believe you would lie to me like this. I can’t believe you think I’d want to spend the night with you after you’ve been out on a romantic dinner with William.”
Nate took a step toward her, forcing her out into the hallway and away from his door. “I can’t believe I let myself feel guilty for leaving you so I could suffer through dinner with those workshop people. I couldn’t wait to come back to you and meanwhile you were out with him. It’s sick and I’m over it. I’m over you.”
Without letting her reply, he closed the door and ended their conversation. Tears sprang to her eyes and fell down her cheeks in fast moving rivers like a dam had burst open.
It had happened again. She’d sworn to herself that she’d never again have a one-night stand and somehow she’d been stupid enough not to listen. She’d sworn to herself that this time she wouldn’t hope or expect anything more than what it was and instead she’d fallen in love.
She loved Nate—and now she’d lost him before she even had him.
She moved down the hall on autopilot, not really seeing where she was going and found herself at the door to William’s room. Without thinking, she raised her hand and knocked softly.
Chapter Seventeen
Nate didn’t sleep all night. Instead, he tossed and turned, got up and paced, and finally flipped on a movie to dull the images of Amelia and William dancing in his head. He’d hoped the note would be enough to keep her away from his room last night, but he should have known better. Why would she believe that note was real when the last time they spoken everything had been okay?
That was before he’d caught her with William. Before she lied to him.
Even knowing the truth, it hadn’t made him feel good to close the door in Amelia’s face last night. He’d hated writing those words on that paper and slipping it under her door, but seeing her and having to say those same things out loud had been even worse. If felt like he’d given her his heart and she’d stepped on it with a stiletto heel.
All night he’d gone back and forth between kicking himself for being so stupid and not seeing what she was doing sooner, and trying to commit every moment of their previous night together to memory so he would never forget how truly amazing it had been. Every time he thought about never being with her again, it felt like a little ball of cement hardened a bit more in his chest—agonizing. He was ready for the pain to end.
Thankfully today was Sunday, which meant that he only had to do a closing speech before brunch and the workshop would officially be over. Then he’d be able to pack up and leave this whole messy weekend behind him. Surely he’d be able to make it through brunch with Amelia and William in the same room without losing his mind. He hoped he’d be able to, at least.
As he got dressed, his cell rang. Jim. Probably wanting to rub in the fact that Nate had bailed on dinner last night and therefore sealed his fate with the workshop evaluations.
It was pointless to worry about what happened after he’d left the restaurant. The past was the past. Right now he needed to focus on the last speech and finishing up the workshop without getting caught up in Amelia and William’s bullshit.
Then Nate would be free to forget about this weekend—free to forget about Amelia.
“Hey, what’s up?” Nate hoped he sounded casual as he answered Jim’s call.
“Not much man. Just wanted to make sure you were ready with your speech this morning. I know you get a little nervous with the speeches part of the workshop. I can always do the speech if you want since you did the kick-off speech for me.”
“I’m good. Ready to get it over with so I can get out of here.” He rubbed his forehead with his fingers. He could already feel a headache growing.
“That doesn’t sound like you. Everything okay? You left in a pretty big hurry last night.”
“Fine. Just done, you know? It was a really long weekend. Longer than usual.”
Jim’s laughter floated across the phone line. “Had a great fling and now it sucks to leave? Am I right? Sometimes it’s hard to leave the better ones behind, but it’s what you have to do.”
Nate tried to laugh it off but choked on his attempt instead. “Something like that, yeah.”
“I hate that feeling. But don’t worry. There will be another girl at the next place, there always is.”
Nate mumbled an agreement he didn’t really mean. It wasn’t worth it to get into it with Jim. He wouldn’t understand anyway. Jim was content to be a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy. He wasn’t looking for a long-term, serious relationship. Hell, if Jim lasted the whole weekend with the same woman, he’d be running for the door thinking she’d be looking for a ring on Sunday morning.
Nate had never really cared about Jim and his weekend antics, but today it annoyed him. Nate wasn’t the same as Jim and this weekend with Amelia meant a hell of a lot more than any of Jim’s weekends ever had. There was no way Jim could relate to what Nate was feeling.
Jim cleared his throat. “You sure you don’t want me to do the speech for you so you can just relax?”
Nate could hear the fake concern in Jim’s voice. Sure he sounded like he only wanted to do Nate a favor, but Nate knew the truth. If Jim did the closing speech, it was another opportunity for him to win over the favor of the workshop attendees.
Nate couldn’t let that happen, no matter how much he just wanted to put this weekend behind him. “I’m good, man. I can do it. I just need to take care of a few loose ends for a minute and I’ll be good to go.”
Jim laughed. “I bet you do. Listen just don’t break her heart too bad, Nate. You still want her to give you a good evaluation of the workshop. Always remember that,” Jim finished. “Always remember it’s about the evaluations in the end.”
“Thanks for the tip,” Nate said through a clenched jaw. He hung up the phone without saying goodbye.
He was in no mood to joke around with Jim today. All he wanted was to get the hell out of here and away from Amelia.
Five minutes later, thanks to the stupidly slow elevator, he walked to conference room C when out of the corner of his eye he spotted Amelia and William huddled together near the door.
Great. I can’t even get in the room without seeing them get cozy together. Rub it in why don’t you.
Then he noticed Amelia wiping her eyes with a tissue. That didn’t look so cozy after all. And her back was up against the wall as William pressed his hands against her shoulders. Was he trying to force her to look at him?
“No. Stop, I don’t want to. It’s fine.” Amelia’s voice sounded weak, tired.
What are they talking about? Why is she telling him no? Why isn’t he backing away from her now?
He eyed the two of them together, trying to figure out what was happening without drawing too much attention to the fact that he was watching them. Just as he got closer to them, Amelia glanced up and caught Nate’s gaze lingering on them.
She didn’t look away. She just held his gaze with a blank expression across her face.
He couldn’t help but notice her eyes were puffy and ringed with red. Her face splotchy and whatever makeup she’d put on earlier had since been wiped away. In short, she looked terrible—beautiful as always, but terrible. What had happened to her? What had William done?
“I just want to go sit down.” She spoke to William, but her eyes never strayed from Nate’s.
“Okay, let’s go in and I’ll get you a coffee.” William led her by the hand into the conference room.
Awesome. Now they’re holding hands in public. Perfect.
The sooner he could get through this stupid closing speech the better. He glanced at his watch. It was basically time to start. If he was a few minutes earlier and a few stragglers showed up late, oh well. It wasn’t his problem anymore. He needed this over. Now.
He threw quick smiles at the few people he passed on his way to the podium that had been set up again in the center of the front of the room. There was no time to waste gettin
g comfortable with these people. He already knew them well after spending so much time with them this weekend. Everyone was just about as ready to head home as he was, so he could keep this short and sweet and to the point.
Jim stood in the corner of the room, speaking to a few people. Jim nodded as Nate walked to the podium, obviously ready for the speech to get underway as well. As he watched, Jim motioned for them to find their seats.
“I’d like to just take a couple of moments to thank you all for being such a great group this weekend,” Nate started. As much as he tried to divert his eyes, he naturally found Amelia in the audience. But she wasn’t watching him. She stirred her coffee, staring at it like it had the answers to all life’s mysteries.
Shaking his head, he tried to focus on the words he’d planned to say but they’d fled his mind. “I—I think we had a great weekend together…all of us, I mean. Here in this room, hanging out…” he cleared his throat. This wasn’t coming out like it was supposed to. It was as if he spoke directly to Amelia instead of to the room full of almost-strangers. “Hanging out and working on the different exercises that focused on bringing us together as teams.”
Better. Don’t look at her again… Shit. Why did you look at her again?
He couldn’t stop himself. She still stared into her coffee, endlessly stirring it. William sat beside her and tried to put his hand on her back to rub her shoulders. Finally her eyes left her coffee to glare at him and she shrugged his arm off of her. William leaned over to whisper something in her ear. She turned her head from him and grabbed her napkin, dabbing her eyes gently with it.
What is he doing to her? Why is she crying?
Nate’s blood pressure spiked as he stared at William. It was as if he’d entered a tunnel and the only thing he could see was William pestering Amelia and her crying, pushing him away.
A coffee cup clinked and suddenly the room came back into focus again. He realized he’d been standing at the podium staring out into the audience, unblinking and cold like a serial killer while everyone else watched him with slightly stunned and confused expressions on their faces.
Bunny Hills and Bikinis Page 21
