by Kristie Cook
"Ah, Lexi," he groaned. He looked into my eyes and the fire burned in his. But I felt safe.
I started working frantically on his belt, getting it undone, then his jeans button, while I ran my mouth around his jaw. "Make love to me, Tristan," I breathed.
He slid his hands down my sides, over my hips and under me, his fingers so close to that one area throbbing the most for his touch.
"Argh! No!"
His hands suddenly grasped my waist and he lifted me up and tried to set me on my feet. But my knees buckled and I fell to the floor. Tears pooled again as I looked up at him.
"You really don't want me?" I whispered, a tear slipping down my cheek as that fear of rejection started to wrap itself around me like a black cloak.
He stared at me for a long, painful moment and then slid off the chair, down to his knees in front of me. I watched his eyes as the flames dimmed and the gold started to sparkle. He smiled as he put his hand under my chin and rubbed his thumb across my lower lip.
"Oh, I want you, my Lexi, ma lykita . I want you more than life itself."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'm ready. I'm ready to give myself to you. I trust you."
"You don't know how happy that makes me." He bent over and kissed me, long and gentle. "But…I don't know that I'm ready and I'm not taking any chances with you."
I stared at him as my heart settled down. I knew he could control himself. After what just happened, when the monster had been closer to the surface than I'd ever seen before, I knew he'd be fine. It was our love and my trust in him that would bring him through. That's what he'd needed all along.
He looked into my eyes, his full of love. "We had a deal."
"What?" Why did that matter now?
"We're waiting until we're married."
I shook my head. "That wasn't our deal. Our deal is we'll get married when we're ready. But if we're ready, why wait?"
He smiled. "Because we're going to do this right."
"Then let's get married."
He sighed. "You have another deal…with Sophia."
"It's done. The novel's over there." I flicked my hand toward the table where the manuscript lay.
"You won't submit it without anyone reading it."
I searched his face. "Why are you making this difficult?"
"Because I need more time." He pulled me onto his lap, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me again.
"How can you just cut things off like that?" I asked, still feeling the warmth and pulsing throughout my body.
"Hundreds of years of practice. I've mastered control over that part. It's…the monster…I have to worry about."
A chill ran up my spine, cooling the heat that remained. We sat there for a few more minutes.
"Are you…okay?"
He nodded. "Yes, now that you're here."
More silence. Then he said, "I'm glad you're ready. That you trust me completely. Why did you change your mind?"
I swallowed. "I didn't exactly change my mind. I just realized the truth that was there all along. When I thought I would lose you forever, I realized I would do anything to keep you. You are more important to me than any part of myself."
He frowned. "I don't deserve that."
"It's not a matter of what you deserve or what I deserve. It just is. I can't live without you. I need you."
He narrowed his eyes and cocked his head. "It is I who needs you. Without your love, without you in my life, I am nothing but darkness."
"We need each other, then." I caressed his face. "You and me together."
He leaned his forehead against mine. "Forever."
He reached over to the table, picked off my ring and slid it over my finger.
"Think you can stand yet?" He smiled.
I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck. "If I have to. But I really like it here."
His fingers trailed lightly up and down my spine and I shuddered. He nibbled at my ear and murmured, "You really need to put your clothes on. Before I lose control."
"You won't, though. I'm sitting in your lap naked and you're fine."
"No, I'm not fine . You have no idea how hard it is for me," he said.
I lifted an eyebrow, knowing exactly what was hard. A small smile played on his delicious lips, but I could see in his eyes he fought something inside—and not, I knew, just normal human desire. I didn't want to do that to him. I reluctantly stood up, picked up my clothes and headed for the stairs.
"Where are you going?" he asked, bemused.
"To bed, if you still have one," I said over my shoulder.
He grabbed the manuscript and followed me. "You're putting some clothes on."
"Yes, sir, I am."
His mattress and box springs leaned against the wall in his bedroom. Everything was in boxes. I looked at him sadly, realizing how close I'd come to losing him.
"It's an easy fix, my love." He started putting the bed back together, lifting the pieces with ease, making me shudder again as his muscles rippled. I turned away before I lost control and found what I wanted—his suitcase. I dug around for one of his shirts, put it to my face and inhaled deeply. I slipped on my panties and pulled his shirt on. He raised an eyebrow and smiled. "I like it."
We found all the bedding and the big bed was quickly back together and quite inviting. I started to crawl in when I remembered Mom. I called to let her know everything was okay, he was staying, and everyone could relax. Then I finally crawled into bed and snuggled next to Tristan, who sat up against the headboard, already several pages into the manuscript. He put his arm around me. I stroked his chest and kissed his jaw.
"I'm trying to read this really good book here," he said, his eyes not leaving the page.
Not knowing whether he meant it or not—and not wanting to know yet—I ignored him. "Thank you for not leaving me."
He pulled his eyes away from the manuscript, looked into mine and smiled. "Thank you for coming back to me…and for saving me from myself."
He kissed me gently. After nearly two weeks of hardly any sleep, and now finally content again, I was out as soon as his lips left mine.
Chapter 18
Sweet breath, wet kisses and a gentle tug on my lower lip awoke me.
"Rise and shine, sweet love of mine," Tristan murmured in my ear.
I smiled and stretched and peeked through my eyelids. He'd opened the window shutters and light flooded the bedroom. I squeezed my eyes shut. "Mmm…do I have to?"
I felt him crawl onto the bed next to me and lay behind me. He snuggled tightly against my back. "I've been waiting too long for you to waste the day sleeping."
I slowly opened my eyes and let them adjust to the light. When I could finally focus, I saw blue sky and the Gulf of Mexico spread out forever before me. "Wow. I could wake up to this every morning."
"That could be arranged…."
I turned onto my back and Tristan propped himself on his elbow, gazing down at me, the gold in his eyes sparkling brightly, the green shining like emeralds. I reached up and caressed his face.
"I missed you," I whispered.
"I missed you, too, ma lykita ." He gave me a long, loving kiss, then he scooped his arm under me and the next thing I knew, I was on top of him. He pushed me up into a sitting position, straddling his waist. "That's why I'm tired of watching you sleep."
"What time is it anyway?"
"Almost noon. You've slept over fourteen hours."
"Yeah, well…" I decided not to mention the last two weeks of hell. "How long have you been up?"
"A couple hours. I slept in, too. It's been a while since I've slept at all and then I was up most of the night reading." He grinned and winked. I stared at him stupidly, not even realizing I traced random shapes on his bare stomach until I felt his muscles flex.
" That feels incredible…and distracting," he said, grabbing my hand and entwining his fingers with mine.
"I'll remember that," I said with a smile. "So, what's on the agenda?"
"Whatever you want."
That was easy. "Can we ride to Gasparilla?"
He frowned. "Except that. It's rainy season and the storms will come in before we get back. It won't be much fun."
"Well, if we need to stay indoors, then we should get you unpacked." I glanced around at the boxes.
"We should probably leave that for now. Could be a waste of time."
I stiffened. " Why? "
"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere without you." He brushed my lips with his fingertips. I immediately relaxed and narrowed my eyes.
"Don't do that to me." I swung my leg off him and crawled to the side of the bed.
"Don't leave . I'm sorry!" He sounded nearly as panicked as I'd felt a moment ago. I smiled.
"I'm just going to the bathroom."
When I came out, the wall of windows had disappeared and the room opened to the outside. The air was already muggy, but a breeze blew off the water, cooling the dampness. Tristan stood at the balcony railing, still wearing nothing but tan cargo shorts, his bronzed, muscular back to me. Seeing him without a shirt on made me shudder, for more than one reason. Of course, his body was absolutely delightful to look at…and touch…and kiss…and… Yeah, it's quite distracting . But the muscular build also reminded me what he was made for. He might not have looked exactly like you'd imagine the ultimate soldier to look like—bulky and brawny beyond attraction—but the strength and power were obvious.
When I joined him, I saw a cup of coffee, my manuscript in its folder and a rose on the little table. He handed me the cup and the rose. I took a sip of coffee then stuck my nose into the flower.
"Nice," I said. "Thank you. But you do know you're spoiling me."
"I intend to. Every day. Forever."
We stood against the railing in silence, arm in arm. I sipped my coffee while watching the waves crash on the beach. I could do this forever.
"So," I finally said, "why would unpacking be a waste of time?"
"I don't know that it is yet. We'll find out tonight. We need to discuss some things, figure out some plans."
"Like getting married?" I asked excitedly. He smiled down at me.
"Yes, that may be part of it, but we have more pressing issues to worry about." His brows furrowed and he frowned. "Just because you and I are good—"
"Perfect," I corrected.
"—doesn't mean everything else is," he finished, ignoring my correction.
"What's going on?" His concern was contagious and he must have seen it on my face. He changed his expression, smiling again.
"We'll get there soon enough. Let's not ruin our time together right now, okay?" He picked up the folder with my manuscript in it and handed it to me. I flipped through it. Notes marked the margins on many of the pages. "You're very talented."
"So you liked it?" I asked. He nodded. "Really? Wait. You finished it already?"
He nodded again. The notes went through to the last page.
"Oh, no. No, no, no. That's not good ," I cried.
His brows knitted with confusion. "I thought that meant it's a page-turner."
"A page-turner is good, but if you breeze right through it, it's usually because it's just crappy writing." My heart plummeted to my feet.
"Alexis, you're being absurd. How old is your target reader?"
"Teens, I guess. Young Adult."
"I think I have a few more years of reading experience than they do. It's just right for them." He looked at me earnestly. I let out a deep breath and nodded. "My only problem…a witch and a werewolf ? Puh-lease."
I'd expected him to tease me about that, so I just laughed as I put the manuscript back on the table.
"There's no way a witch and a werewolf would fall in love …unless she put a spell on him or something."
I shrugged. "It could happen. It's my world. I'm making it up and that's their story."
"Hmph. Still…" He rolled his eyes mockingly. "I admit you did very well at making it believable. Your characters felt real, even with all the good qualities that don't quite go along with canon."
I grinned, ecstatic that even Tristan liked my characters. "Mom gave me some fantastic ideas for them in the beginning. It's almost like she knew them before I did."
He gave me a significant look, his eyebrows raised, that I couldn't understand. It cleared almost immediately. "So, what's next? A normal human story, I hope."
I braced myself for the teasing I knew was about to come. "Well…I've kind of been thinking of something a little different than this one…like a human falling in love with a vampire."
"A good vampire, I assume. One that drinks donated blood?"
I smiled slyly. "I don't know…maybe he or she is horrible. I haven't decided who's human and who's vampire yet, but I think one wants to kill the other or they both want to kill each other…at least at first."
He gave me a dark look and I shrugged.
"Well, they say to write about what you know ." I bit my lip, waiting for his reaction. Shouldn't have said that, stupid .
He just shook his head, chuckled and wrapped his arms around me. "You know, only you could bring love into the most unlikely situations."
"Everybody has at least a little good in them, so it's possible."
My face pressed against his chest, so I couldn't see his expression, but I felt his muscles tense. His tone was dark and serious. "Not every body."
Even with his warm body around me and the sun beating on us, a chill ran up my spine. He would know. I decided to let the subject drop.
"So, what do we do with the rest of the day?" I asked.
Tristan suddenly jumped toward the table and slammed his hand on the folder containing the manuscript, then a big gust of wind blew around us. I looked up and saw the dark steel-gray clouds building up and pushing toward the beach from the other side of the house. The typical afternoon storm came in quickly.
"Thank you!" I gasped. "How'd you know?"
"Heard it coming."
We barely had everything inside when the wind picked up again. Tristan pushed a button to close the window-wall, then he took my hand and led me downstairs.
"Are you hungry? I picked up some croissants with the coffee. Chocolate, your favorite."
I hadn't realized it until then, but I was ravenous. "Sounds good. I hope you bought ten. I'm starving."
He chuckled. "There should be enough to hold you over. Then I'll shower and take you home so you can get cleaned up, too. Maybe by then the storm will have passed and we can go for a short ride before tonight."
"What's going on tonight?" I asked as I lifted myself to sit on the counter.
"Like I said…plans to make, things to figure out." He shrugged, downplaying it, but I knew by the look in his eyes it was serious.
"You're holding back on me," I said pointedly. He grimaced.
"You're right. And I'm not going to do that anymore." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Ian's little visit has more far-reaching consequences than you realize. Your safety is more at risk now than it ever has been. We need to decide what to do about that."
"Oh," I breathed. An onslaught of thoughts rushed through my head, giving me no time to think about each one as the next pushed it out: Are we moving again? What about school? What about my book? Can we still get married? Is Mom okay? Would they really challenge Tristan? Would he be okay? Those last three terrified me.
Tristan misinterpreted the look of fear I felt spreading across my face. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "Don't worry, you've been well protected. I won't let anything happen to you. Why do you think I was at your house day after day, even though you wouldn't talk to me? I couldn't leave you alone, so vulnerable...."
While I was immersed in my own miserable world, there'd been much else going on I hadn't even realized. And Tristan had put his own heart aside to protect me, even when I behaved so cruelly. I pushed my croissant away, my stomach in knots with heartache and worry. I leaned my forehead again
st his chest.
"What does this mean?" I finally asked. "What will happen? Can't you see the best solution anyway?"
His body stiffened and he didn't answer at first. Then he said firmly, "It's no longer an option."
"Why not, if it's the best one? What is it?" I looked up into his face. His eyes darkened.
"I won't discuss it. It's just not happening." He walked away, his back to me. "We'll figure something else out, all of us, tonight."
I hopped down from the counter and went over to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed myself to his back.
"I trust you," I whispered. "As long as you'll be okay."
His muscles relaxed and he pulled my hands apart enough so he could turn around in the circle of my arms. He lifted my chin with his thumb.
"You do not need to worry about me ," he said. "As long as you're safe, I'll be fine."
He bent over and brushed his lips against mine.
"Now, I'm going to take a shower and, as much as I'd rather you not, you need to get dressed." He headed for the stairs and I followed behind him.
"I could join you," I offered, my insides warming at the thought.
"I'd love that…but, my love, I need your patience."
My head fell in dejection, though I knew deep inside that my whole heart wasn't into the idea. I wanted to wait, too, so it would be perfect.
"I promise you, though, it will be rewarded," he added and I smiled.
Something white lying by the baseboard caught my eye as we crossed the living room. I picked it up and realized it was a piece off one of the house models. I looked around the room and didn't see any boxes large enough to contain the architectural renderings. I wondered what he did with them. As I looked back at the piece, I noticed it hadn't just fallen off—it was broken.
"Tristan…?" I looked up at him as he turned to me. "Where are your houses?"
A dark look came over his face and then he shrugged. "Gone," he said flatly.
"What do you mean…gone?" I searched his face as a pit formed in my stomach with the thought of what might have happened to them. I could tell he didn't want to tell me.
