Lina nodded and smiled. “I have always wanted to know what made you trick Jonny into going to the riverbank that day. You knew Uriah would be there, didn’t you?”
I nodded with a smile. We had never really talked before that day, but I knew a lot about Uriah. Most of my girlfriends tried to date him, or at least befriend him, and were always eager to spill the details of any time they spent with him. I soaked it all up.
“Uriah came home with the most blissful look on his face after spending the afternoon with you that day. When I asked him how things had gone with you, he just smiled. When you showed up a few days later and I saw a matching look on your face, I knew I’d be seeing you a lot more often.”
I had thought of that day on the riverbank almost every day since. The reason I steered Jonny toward Uriah was really such a small one, but I still marveled at how it had changed my life.
“Why did you end up at the riverbank?” Lina asked, practically reading my thoughts.
“It really wasn’t a big deal,” I said. Lina waited patiently. “We were on our way out to the bonfire to get stuff set up for later that night. Johnny Begay was talking about how his uncle was going to medical school to become a doctor. I said that I had thought about becoming a doctor one day and he starting laughing at me.”
It was just Jonny being a jerk, as usual, but it really hurt me that day. “I was so mad at him that I smacked the back of his head. He just looked at me and said, ‘Claire you’re too pretty to be a doctor. Why don’t you just plan on marrying a doctor instead?’ Then I really hit him, slapped him right across the face,” I said. “Needless to say, Jonny didn’t appreciate that very much. He started yelling at me and I told him to let me out. We were close to the turn off to the river and I yanked on the steering wheel just hard enough that it made him have to complete the turn. I figured that’s where Uriah was, and I knew he would never have said something like that to me.
“Jonny didn’t even realize where we were, but as soon as we got to the pullout I jammed my foot on the break and jumped out, still screaming at him. Uriah heard us fighting, stopped Jonny from punching me, and you know the rest,” I said. “I guess I should thank Johnny for what he said, now that I think about it.”
“I guess so,” Lina said. Her laugh made me smile.
Since Lina was getting the chance to ask questions she had always wanted the answers to, I thought I should be able to do the same. I was unsure about asking her again about the questions highest on my list, so I settled for another. “Did you know he was planning to propose after graduation?”
Lina erupted with laughter. “Of course I did,” she said.
I frowned, hoping that it really had been Uriah’s secret. Lina patted my leg with sympathy.
“I wasn’t meant to know, though. Uriah just isn’t very good at hiding his feelings, or the ring for that matter. He carried that ring around in his pocket for two weeks before he gave it to you.
“The day he came home from Santa Fe with it, he rushed off to his room so fast I barely realized he was home. When I tried to go in and see if he was alright, the door was locked, which it never is, and I had a sneaking suspicion about the reason for his trip to Santa Fe. San Juan really doesn’t have a decent jeweler,” she said. “Did you know he got your ring from the same place Notah bought mine?”
Glancing down at my ring, I wasn’t surprised. “No, I didn’t know that.”
Uriah had been following in his father’s footsteps once again. It made me love the ring even more. I couldn’t wait to be married to him and start our life and family together. I knew that he would be a good father to our children. A stab of jealousy streaked through my mind, but it didn’t belong to me. I had to close my eyes, wincing at the sudden pain. The bond to Daniel fought me every time I thought of my future with Uriah.
With my eyes still closed tight, I pictured what our children would be like. Our sons would have their father’s build and kind eyes. Our daughters would have his warm smile and thoughtful heart. We would raise them with the love they deserved. The strength of my thoughts slowly pushed away everything else.
“He did a good job picking it out, didn’t he? It really suits you,” Lina said, watching me with concern in her eyes. Her words brought me back to the conversation.
My ring was white gold with a single half carat, princess cut diamond adorning it. It was simple and tasteful, exactly what I would have picked out myself. “He knows what I like,” I said.
“What kind of dress do you want?” Lina asked. I relished the question. There was no “if Uriah comes back” attached to it, only pure faith that everything would work out exactly as she hoped it would.
I couldn’t keep the smile from my lips as I began. “I want a strapless dress with a tight bodice that laces up the back. My skirt will be white satin with a sheer layer over it. My aunt will do some beadwork on the overskirt, but no lace or puffy sleeves. I don’t want to look like some glamour rock star from the eighties. My mom thinks I should put my hair up in some kind of French twist, but I’ll wear it down. Uriah loves my hair. I don’t want to hide it. Maybe I’ll try out some curls though. I think he would like that. ”
“You have certainly put a little thought into it, haven’t you,” Lina said. Her smile threatened to wrap all the way around her head.
“I’ve had years to think about it,” I said. My smile was equally big.
Calming herself, Lina took her happiness down a few notches. She asked, “How long have you known that Uriah was who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?”
I wanted to say that I had known since the first day I saw him, but that was probably when I was about six months old. The truth wasn’t that far from it, though. “It will sound really silly,” I said.
“No it won’t,” Lina said.
“One time when I was ten years old, I was walking to school and I saw Uriah sitting on the sidewalk just outside of the building. At first I thought he was just sitting there, but when I got closer I heard someone crying. I knew it wasn’t Uriah. It sounded like a little kid. I walked a little closer without letting him see me, and I realized there was a little boy who must have been in kindergarten sitting next to him
“I felt bad eavesdropping, but I was curious about what had happened to the boy. The poor kid was crying because a couple of older kids had knocked him down and taken his lunch. Uriah sat with him until he stopped crying and then gave him his own lunch and told him to hurry to class.”
Lina’s eyes were shining with pride.
“At lunch, I looked for Uriah,” I said, “but I didn’t see him anywhere. When I went outside, I saw him by the fence with two of my classmates. A few seconds later, the two boys walked over to the little kindergartener that had been crying, and apologized. I adored Uriah before then, but that was the day I knew he would be the man I’d marry someday.” And I still will, I said defiantly to the jealousy of the bond that was trying to edge back in.
“Twin Souls or not, I can’t think of a more perfect couple than you and Uriah,” Lina said.
“Do you really think that?” I asked.
“Of course, I do, Claire. Why would you even ask that?” Her voice was sweet and innocent, but the fear edging its way into her stance proved she knew exactly why I would ask her that.
“My dad said Uriah was going to go places I shouldn’t. He didn’t want me to be with Uriah because he thought I would be hurt. Is that true, Lina?”
“Claire…I don’t know what you’re talking about. Uriah is…his path is his own. I can’t tell you what that will be.”
“But you know something, don’t you?” I asked. “Why won’t anyone talk to me about this? Do you even know everything he can do?”
She shook her head stubbornly. “Uriah is…he’s a wonderful boy.”
“You know he can make people do what he wants just by asking them. You know because you saw him do it to my dad when we argued about us getting married. You can’t tell me you never noticed how animals
calm for him when they won’t for anyone else. You’ve seen him do it too many times to deny it. And did you know that it hurts him every time we touch? He says it’s gotten better over time, but it still causes him pain every time he holds me.”
The first two I knew she was already aware of, she had to be, but the last truly seemed to startle her. She was about to say something in response when the phone rang.
The sound brought my heart to a stop. The bond started shoving Daniel down my throat as soon as my mind even considered it might be Uriah. I shuddered under the blatant assault, but Lina was too wrapped up in her own emotions to notice. Her hands gripped mine tightly. The phone sat next to her on a small table. The ring sounded again, drawing both of our eyes to it. Slowly Lina let go of my hands and picked up the phone.
“Hello?” Her breath released in a rush. “Uriah, honey, how are you? Where are you? When will you be home? Are you alright?”
Her questions tumbled out, and I was aching to hear the answers. A quick sigh of relief from Lina was the only response I received.
“”I’m glad you’re okay,” Lina said. “Yes, she’s here.” Another pause. “Of course dear, here she is.”
I very nearly ripped the phone out of Lina’s hand. Pain sprouted in my chest and I had to dig my nails into my leg to force it down. Pressing the phone to my ear hard, my heart raced while the part of my mind yearning for Daniel screamed at me to put the phone down. Squeezing the phone, I refused to listen to anything but his voice. “Uriah?” I asked.
“Claire?” His voice questioned me, as if he didn’t believe I was really there.
“Yes, where are you?” I asked.
“How are you feeling?” Uriah asked.
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. I didn’t want to talk about me. “Sophia says I’m good as new. Where are you?”
“Is Daniel gone?”
“Yeah, Cole took him home yesterday. He should be getting back tonight. Cole, not Daniel, thank goodness. He is not coming back.” I was babbling like an idiot. “Where are you? Are you coming home soon?”
“I should be home in a few days if everything goes okay,” Uriah said.
That was the third time he hadn’t told me where he was. Was he purposely avoiding the question? I couldn’t understand why he was being so secretive about what he was doing. I was afraid that whatever he had gone to do was dangerous, and he didn’t want to tell me what it was. Shaking my head, I pushed my dark thoughts away. He must have a good reason, I told myself.
“I miss you,” I said softly.
“You do?”
Turning away from Lina so she wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes, I pressed the phone closer to my mouth. “I miss you so badly, Uriah.”
“What about Daniel?” His voice was throaty and unsure. I hated hearing him like that. If I were stronger, he wouldn’t be wherever he was. He would be by my side with his arms around me, singing me his lullaby.
“I’m fighting it, Uriah, I promise,” I whispered. He sighed, but it was hard to tell if it was out of relief or resignation. “I’m staying at your mom’s right now. It helps me to be surrounded by all the things that remind me of you. I stayed in your room last night. I hope you don’t mind.”
“You stayed in my room, in my bed?” Uriah asked.
The tone of his voice was filled with an emotion I couldn’t quite name. Even without a name, it tore at me. I was causing him so much pain. I couldn’t stand the thought. My body shook as I gripped the phone even tighter. It was my only line to him.
“I wish I had been there,” Uriah whispered. It was so quiet, I wasn’t sure whether I was meant to hear it or not.
“Me too,” I said.
“I love you, Claire. I’ll be home soon,” he promised.
“I love you too,” I said. And then he was gone.
16: Dreams
Claire had slept in my bed, without me. I set the phone down gently, though I wanted to hurl it across the room. I should have been there. How many nights had I lain awake wishing Claire was beside me? The one night she was actually in my bed, I was four hundred miles away. I tried not to think of what I wanted to do to Thomas Brant the next time I saw him.
“Uriah, is everything okay?” Kaya asked. She stood in the kitchen doorway, her mouth turned down with concern.
I struggled to regain my calm. “Yeah, everything is fine,” I said. “It’s just hard being away from Claire.”
Kaya’s face melted. “It will only be a few more days,” she said, patting my shoulder. “You’ll be back together soon.”
Back together, we should never have been parted. That was my decision, though. I left. I ran my hand through my hair with a sigh. “I’m starting to regret leaving Claire behind.”
“Of course you are,” Kaya said. “You should regret it. You shouldn’t have left her.”
My eyes widened at her blunt appraisal.
Kaya’s expression softened. “Uriah, I understand how hurt you were when Claire said she might not be able to resist the bond, but killing yourself was not the answer. You blame Quaile for not trusting you more, but you didn’t trust Claire, either.”
Not trust Claire? I trusted Claire completely. I stood while Kaya’s word sunk deep into my heart. I had raced off to find my death, ignoring Claire’s pleas for me to stay with her. She needed to move on without me and be happy, I had thought. I had made the choice for her. Trust had not been involved.
“I thought I was doing what was right for her,” I said.
“Quaile and Claire’s father thought the same thing when they said you couldn’t, or shouldn’t, marry Claire. You have to let people make their own choices,” Kaya said. Reaching up, Kaya placed her hand on my shoulder. “You know, even if Claire had given into the Twin Soul bond right away, you would have been okay in time.”
“No.” I couldn’t stand to even think about living a life that did not include Claire. The past year and a half had been the best of my life. Every memory I had of us together was laced with joy and the sweet promise of an eternity of happiness. As I thought of those memories, I realized they would always be there, no matter what else happened.
Slowly, my tense shoulders relaxed. It was not the most pleasing thought I could think of, but perhaps Kaya was right. Kaya watched me, taking in my changed stance with a confident smile.
“No matter what happens, Uriah, you’ll be alright. With or without Claire,” she said.
Despite my realization, I did not want to talk about “without Claire” anymore. I needed something to distract me, anything. “Did you still want to talk about the dreams?”
Kaya brightened instantly, her curiosity overriding her pity. “Yes, please. Let’s sit down on the couch. Oh, I forgot,” she said. Kaya ran out of the room. She was back quickly with two plates piled high with steaming tamales. “We’ll eat while we talk.”
Finding myself starving, I dug into the soft meat and masa. “So where do you want to start?” I asked after swallowing my first bite.
“Quaile’s dreams, tell me every detail,” Kaya said. Stuffing another bite into her mouth, she grabbed a pencil and notepad. Her curiosity was also one of her many jobs. She was a very good shaman.
“Well, she said the first time she had the dream, or vision, was when I was born,” I began. “She said she tries to attend every birth. Do you do that?”
Kaya nodded.
“Then the day we went to the elders to ask permission to marry, she said she had it again, with one important difference. She said she saw that something would happen to Claire, and me deciding to help her would set me on the path she had seen in her dream.”
“You mentioned what the dreams said before, but tell me again with as much detail as you can remember. The smallest thing might be important,” Kaya said.
“She said that she saw me as a young man, fighting my way through a forest while creatures were attacking me. She said she didn’t know what they were, but they must be the things you told me about early, the things the
Matwau can call on for help if he needs it, right?”
Kaya nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, I think you’re right about that. And I think Quaile knew exactly what they were, too,” she muttered. I had to agree with her, though it didn’t make me very happy. I shoved away thoughts of Quaile’s lies and continued.
“She thought I was searching for something, but I couldn’t find it because of the creatures chasing me. Whatever I was trying to do, the creatures were afraid of it, and were trying to stop me. Then her vision changed. I was standing in a barren desert valley, surrounded by the creatures, but this time there was a man on a hill above me. He had a woman with him, but it wasn’t Claire. She was his captive, and he wanted to me to try and rescue her.”
“The woman is your Twin Soul,” Kaya said with surety, “and the man is obviously the Matwau.” Kaya looked up from her notes and fixed her eyes on me. “The final location of the dream could be anywhere in the southwest, so that isn’t very helpful. What worries me most is that the Matwau is baiting you in the dream.”
That tidbit had bothered me as well. When the creature had been hunting Daniel, he had merely wanted to kill him before Daniel could reach Claire and form the Twin Soul bond. “Why would he do that?” I asked.
“I don’t know, Uriah,” Kaya said. “Unfortunately, the Matwau’s existence has largely been kept secret by leaders who believed as Quaile did that the people should only be told what was absolutely necessary. I have very few details about the creature, but I do know that he’s bound by certain rules.”
“Talon and I have suspected as much,” I said. “None of the scouts have seen any sign of the Matwau since we left San Juan.”
“Scouts?” Kaya asked.
I hadn’t realized that I’d failed to mention the others to her. I knew that I had told her about the animals coming to my aid several times before, but I hadn’t thought to tell her that they were still helping me. “Sorry, I guess I forgot to mention that. There are wolves and coyotes scouting the area around Hano. They’ve been travelling with me ever since San Juan, most of them anyway. Does that bother you?”
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