“I hope you’re right, Cole,” I said. “I wish he would have told me where he was. It makes it so much worse not knowing what he’s doing or where he went.”
“He’ll be home soon,” Cole said.
“I know.” I did know. Whatever Uriah had thought of doing before, he was focused now. He was trying to find a way to rescue me, and I had faith that he would find it.
“Are you going to be okay?” Cole asked. “I know Uriah will be back soon, but I saw what this bond thing was doing to Daniel. He looked like he was in agony the entire drive. He kept his arms wrapped around himself almost the whole time. He just kept babbling about how he was going to come back and see you as soon as he could.”
Cole hugged me a little tighter. “I can imagine it must be even worse for you. Even a state away I could still feel the bond sitting next to Daniel. Daniel was having a hard time trying to figure out how you could reject him when he felt like he did, but you, you’re trying to fight the bond. I remember what it felt like when he woke you up. I had never felt anything so intense in my life. That can’t be easy to fight against.”
“It’s not. I have these thoughts shoved into my mind constantly. Every time I close my eyes I see his face. I’m sorry this is hard for him, too, but I can’t let myself care. I care about keeping Uriah, that’s it. I spend my whole day trying to find things to distract me, or things that reminded me of Uriah. It isn’t easy,” I said.
“Yeah, I was wondering when you decided to join a Santa Fe youth baseball team,” Cole said. He motioned to my shirt with a laugh. I smiled. Cole always had been good at cheering me up.
“Where’d you get this?” he asked fingering the leather bracelet on my wrist.
“I found it in Uriah’s room.”
“It’s nice,” Cole said. “Do you know what it is?”
“No, I don’t know what it is,” I admitted, “but it’s his, and I can look at it and think of him whenever I need to. Lina said it was a gift from his dad.”
“His dad would have given it to him when he was old enough to be considered a man,” Cole said.
“Really, I don’t remember Dad ever giving you one of these,” I said.
“He hasn’t,” Cole said. There was a hard edge to his voice. “Dad doesn’t think I deserve one yet, and probably never will.” Cole sat motionless while his anger dissipated. “Oh well, it doesn’t really mean anything, just a tradition. Dad’s hardly the one to pass judgment on me anyway.”
“You’ve already proven yourself to everyone that matters, Cole,” I said. Even though Cole was often casual in his attitudes toward relationships and his own future, he had always been responsible and reliable when it came to family.
“Are you coming home anytime soon? Mom’s afraid you’ll never come back. She’s ready to throw Dad out of the house if it means you might come home.”
“Really? She would throw Dad out?” I said.
Cole nodded. “Dad’s been stomping around the house looking like he thinks the world is about to end. He hasn’t even been to work since you collapsed, I guess. He’s pretty freaked out.”
That was shocking. Yes, he had seemed upset and a little desperate when we talked, but I had no idea what was happening had consumed him so much. I had thought Lina would be the easiest to get to talk. If my dad is really that wound up, I might be able to find the one string to pull that will unravel all his secrets. I always was pretty good at pushing his buttons.
“Look, Cole, I’m definitely not coming home until Uriah is back. I think he’s trying to find a way to break the bond, but until he does, I need to stay where I can remember him best. If I don’t keep him in my mind every second, my memories of him start to fade. I thought it would get easier, but it isn’t,” I said. I was already feeling the desperation starting to creep back in. “I’m trying so hard, but I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I have to stay. I have to.”
I was crying again. Admitting how much I was struggling brought a tide of emotions rushing over me. The weight of them pressed against me, trying to break my soul enough to slip in and overwhelm me for good. My breathing shortened and I fought to keep from falling into another terrifying panic attack. Just a few more days, I said over and over again in my mind. I could last that long. I had to. Uriah would come home and rescue me from the nightmare I couldn’t escape.
“Shh,” Cole said. His hand was stroking my hair softly. “It’s okay, Claire. Everything will be okay.”
I wanted to agree, but I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t even begin to form the words. I rocked back and forth with Cole, letting the rhythm seep into me. I would have given anything at that moment to hear Uriah’s lullaby. Instead, Cole’s lighthearted voice broke the silence.
“I remember this time when I was about fifteen,” Cole began. “I was in the locker room at school after basketball practice one day. I got out of the shower, and a couple of guys, I won’t say who, were standing around talking about you. Usually they didn’t say crude stuff like that when I was around, but they didn’t see me.
“I was about to tell them to shut the hell up when Uriah walked up and grabbed one of the guys. Uriah just glared at him, but the guy thought he was big stuff and started mouthing off right to Uriah’s face, which was really stupid, because even then Uriah was like a foot taller than him. Uriah picked him up by his shirt and shoved him against the wall. He told him that if he ever heard him say another word about you he would punch him in the face. The guy got the point, and so did his friends.”
Cole laughed at the story. He would. While it was not as endearing as some of the other stories I had heard about Uriah since waking up, it did cheer me up. I sniffed a few more times before I was finally ready to wipe my eyes and face my brother again.
“With Dad badgering you every step of the way and half the town supporting him, Uriah’s dad dying and his mom getting hurt, the poison, and Daniel, you two have been through more in the last year and a half than most married couples do in their entire marriage. If you guys can survive everything you have so far, you can make it through this, nishiime,” Cole said with a final hug. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m exhausted. Let me take you home, okay?”
“Home?”
“Back to Uriah’s, I mean,” Cole said.
“Thanks, Cole.” I climbed back into his 4Runner praying he was right even as the bond punished me for it.
18: Laws
Their yellow eyes watched me warily. They had surrounded me again, but this time I had let them. Careful confidence surged through me. I had learned their secrets, some of them at least, and I was prepared to use those hidden truths against them. A cocked ear, a scratching paw were their signals, but I didn’t have to pay attention to those small movements.
I could hear their thoughts as if they were speaking them plainly. The largest monstrosity was the leader, as I had expected. The chain of command was a tenuous thing with the creatures. They were used to working alone. The Matwau’s call had brought them together and forced them into their uneasy allegiance. Their goal was to capture and maim, but not destroy me.
They were about to fail.
Scanning their thoughts, I easily located the weakest creature in the pack. Its thoughts were balanced between running away and waiting for the fight to ensue so it could merely stand back and let the others do their assigned work. I made up its mind for it.
Leaping at the cringing monster, I swung my arm, brushing it away before it could even react. Its body slammed into a nearby tree. I was hurtling away before it even slid back to the ground. Howling and snarling followed me. I ducked under branches and crashed through bushes as I raced toward the searing desert I knew would appear.
The glaring sunlight, unbroken by trees, was just ahead. Eager to meet my next challenge, I pushed myself for more speed. The soft, wet sensation on my face was shocking. Reaching up, I felt only dry skin. My pace slowed as the feeling came again.
“Uriah,” my name came bursting into the thicket. “Uri
ah, wake up.”
A sharp nudge finally jolted me awake. I opened my eyes to find Talon hovering over me. I groaned. That was what the wet feeling had been, cougar slobber. I brought my hand to my face and wiped the wetness away. “Was that really necessary, Talon?”
“Yes.” Talon never explained his actions unless he felt the need to do so.
“Why did you wake me up?” I asked. The bedside clock only read six-thirty a.m.
“You were acting strangely,” Talon said.
“I was dreaming about the fight again. You shouldn’t have woken me. I think I’m actually learning how to fight them better with each dream. I was almost to the Matwau that time. If Kaya’s right about him coming after me soon, I need all the help I can get. Even if it is from dreams,” I said.
“It is time to get up, anyway. Kaya is coming,” Talon said.
Not two seconds later, Kaya’s knock sounded on the door. “Uriah?”
“Yeah?” I pulled the sheet I had kicked onto the floor up over my shorts in case Kaya decided to come in. Thankfully she didn’t.
“Samantha just called. She wants us to come over as soon as possible,” Kaya said.
“I’ll be right there,” I said through the door. Lowering my voice, I turned back to Talon. “After I wash my face.” Talon ignored my last comment. I quickly pulled my jeans back on and rummaged through my backpack for a clean shirt. When I finally found one, it was rumpled and creased, but I threw it on anyway.
Stepping across the hall to the bathroom, I quickly brushed my teeth and ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times until I realized it wasn’t going to do any good. Talon had already left me behind. Following the delicious smells rising from the kitchen, I hurried after him.
Talon was hungrily eating a large slab of meat off a painted pottery-ware plate. Kaya set two plates of warm scrambled eggs topped with spicy green chile sauce on the dining room table. I inhaled the scent of huevos rancheros hungrily. Kaya sat down and waited for me to join her. I pulled the chair out and sat across from her. One look at her, and I could see the sleep still lingering in her eyes.
“How long did you stay up?” I asked. Her exhaustion had me feeling more than a little guilty. I had tried to stay up with her and help search through her many books on Tewa history and mythology, but I had given in before she did. After the third time I had dropped a book in the middle of reading it, Kaya had insisted that I turn in.
“Just a couple hours after I sent you to bed,” Kaya said. I had dropped off around two in the morning. If she stayed up another two hours, she was only working on about two and a half hours of sleep. No wonder she looked ready to fall into her eggs.
“You can just give me directions back to Samantha’s house. I’ll drive over, and you can go back to sleep,” I suggested. Kaya had taken me to where I had left my motorcycle on our way back from her sister’s house last night, so it would be no problem for me to make the trip on my own. “I’ll just take my bike and you can come over when you’ve gotten some rest.”
Already shaking her head before I was halfway through with my suggestion, Kaya cleared her mouth of eggs. “Not a chance, Uriah. I want to see everything that happens today.”
The old saying that curiosity killed the cat made perfect sense when it came to Kaya and her sister. I shrugged in defeat. “Fine, fine.”
Finishing my breakfast quickly, I waited patiently for Kaya to finish as well. Scraping the last bit of chile-covered eggs off her plate and into her mouth, Kaya carried her plate to the sink in a rush. She looked worried that I would try to sneak off without her.
“Now remember, Uriah,” Kaya said, “this may take a few days. Sam didn’t know last night how long it would be before the herbs were ready. She may have a better idea today, but don’t be surprised if you can’t go home today. I know you’re anxious to get back to Claire, but please try to be patient.”
“I will,” I promised. I had gotten used to the dull, but poignant, prick of desperation in my mind and heart. My mind was constantly counting the minutes and hours I was away from Claire. I had no way of judging what the bond was doing to her. I had felt its intensity and I was struggling to believe that anyone could fight against it for long, if at all. Patience was not what I wanted to practice, but I would do what I must for Claire.
I had been running for so long, it was becoming hard to remember what day it was. Quickly I counted the days since I had first left Claire in Sophia’s care. Five. Today was the fifth day since Claire had been poisoned, two days since she was revived and bound to Daniel. It was already Monday.
Kaya stood to clear the rest of the dishes. Monday should have been a work day for her. With my thoughts so focused on my own needs, I hadn’t even considered that I might be forcing Kaya to shirk whatever work she was supposed to be doing. “Kaya, do you work?” I asked. “I don’t want to keep you from anything you need to be doing.”
Kaya waved away my worry. “I’m a teacher, Uriah. I don’t have to be back to work for a few more weeks,” she said. “I sell my weavings too, but only when I want to. So no, you’re not keeping me from anything. This is the most interesting thing I’ve done all summer.” Gathering her keys from a small dish on her counter, Kaya gestured at the door. “Let’s get going. Sam is waiting for us.”
The drive to Samantha’s house began quietly. My mind was filled with wondering. Wondering how long it would take to make the potion. Wondering how well Claire was fighting the bond. Wondering when the Matwau would attack my Twin Soul. Wondering, but reaching no answers. That seemed to be the way of things the past few days.
“Did you find anything useful last night?” I asked Kaya. I had searched along with her, but I didn’t find a single story, myth, or prophecy that sounded anything like Quaile’s vision.
“I’m not sure yet. I didn’t find anything exactly like what I was hoping for, but there were a few tidbits here and there that might be useful,” Kaya said.
“Such as?”
“I found a very short story mentioned in a book I inherited from the last shaman that mentioned the Matwau. I should have read it already, but with taking over her duties, I just haven’t had time for much else,” Kaya said. “Anyway, in the story, the Matwau came across a pair searching for each other. The man, Ahiga, beat the Matwau back and reached his Twin Soul. The Matwau was angry that he had been beaten and remembered the man.
“When Ahiga had a son, the Matwau returned. Filled with a need for vengeance, the Matwau made a plan to steal the child and kill it. Sneaking into the man’s house, he made his way to the child’s room, but as he tried to lay his hands upon the child, he was bound by the laws and couldn’t harm the infant. Ahiga woke up and chased the Matwau away,” Kaya finished.
Turning onto another unmarked dirt road, I saw a pair of rabbits dart from under a bush. I wondered if they were running from something as well. Kaya continued by saying, “I know that doesn’t help explain the dreams, but it does confirm that there are laws governing what the Matwau can do. Now, either you will come in contact with your Twin Soul very soon without the bond actually forming, or there is something about you that allows the Matwau to break the laws he’s bound by.”
“How could I come in contact with my Twin Soul without the bond forming?” I asked.
“If you came very close to her, but didn’t actually touch her, your souls would recognize each other, you’ll feel a pull to be with her, but the bond won’t actually form,” Kaya said.
“Which do you think it is?”
“I think the Matwau will break the laws.”
“Why?”
“Like Quaile, I can determine who will meet their Twin Souls and who will not,” Kaya said. “Unlike Quaile, I don’t learn this only when a formal question is asked. Nobody actually asks permission to marry around here anymore. I can feel the truth about a person’s Twin Soul the second I touch someone. Also unlike Quaile, I can sense how soon the person will meet their Twin Soul. The first time I shook your hand I knew t
hat you were destined to meet your Twin Soul, but not for at least ten years.”
Her words brought a wave of resentment directed toward Quaile. If I hadn’t been destined to meet my Twin Soul for ten years, how long might it have been before Claire met hers? If Quaile had been more honest, or had more talent-I wasn’t sure which-the past five days could have been completely avoided. If we had simply been given the choice, to marry or not, we could have prepared ourselves for meeting our Twin Souls, rather than running back and forth across the desert to save lives and rescue souls.
“What else did you find?” I asked. I was still thinking about what she had already told me, but I hoped there was more.
“The creatures in the vision that were helping the Matwau do not belong to the Matwau, but to the dark gods. He can only call them when the dark gods’ plans are in danger or threatened. You must be some kind of threat to the dark gods’ plans,” Kaya said.
“Well, I never asked for this. I would stop doing whatever it was if I could,” I said sullenly. I could hardly argue with her anymore. The facts were piling so high that nobody could deny them now. I was not just a rancher anymore.
“Would you really?” Kaya asked. The seriousness of her question hit me. “If you were the only one who could stop something evil, would you turn your back?”
I went back to staring out the window. I had never thought of the situation in that light. “No, I guess not,” I said, less sullen and more resigned.
While my main concern had been Claire for the past several days, my Twin Soul had been carefully stored in the back of my mind. The fact that Kaya believed my Twin Soul was about to become involved in a battle against evil beings, forced the woman forward in my mind. Her determined face and frightened eyes stared back at me. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone else being hurt because of me.
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