Surviving Love

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Surviving Love Page 22

by K. F. Breene


  “I wasn’t supposed to. Duke set us up.”

  Christie slapped her hand over her mouth. “I wondered. I did. Because I figured you would’ve told me. And then you were gone all of a sudden, with all your drama. Tell me, how did it work out?”

  “Christie, I love you, but I have got to take a shower.”

  Christie nodded and followed her toward the bathroom.

  “You’re going to sit in the bathroom and make me spill the details, aren’t you?” Sara said in resignation.

  “Sara, I cannot wait for this. It is essential I hear this immediately.”

  Without the energy to fight it, Sara recounted the story as she scrubbed four long days of dirt from her body.

  “So what about the situation with Mike?” Christie asked when the retelling was done. “And what should I snag you to eat? Dinner isn’t for a few hours.”

  “Food. I will probably dream about food for as long as I live.” Sara sighed, shutting off the water. “I had a breakthrough with him. I love him. Always have, but… just didn’t know it, I guess. Or I didn’t realize I loved him like this.”

  “Oh my God.” Christie put a hand to her chest with a smile. “What did he say when you told him? Did he gush? Of course not, he’s not a gusher. But I bet he kissed you. Did he kiss you?”

  “I didn’t tell him. Towel?”

  “You didn’t?” Christie said, handing over the towel. “Why not? He told you, I bet.”

  “He did, yeah. It’s just… I don’t know. I don’t know why. Afraid, I guess. Or not really afraid, but…”

  “You need to have a post-mortem.” Christie nodded solemnly and followed Sara back into the room. She grabbed Sara’s pajamas out of the closet. “You need to call that jackass ex-boyfriend.”

  Sara shook her head vehemently as she sat on the bed. “Why? I don’t want to hear how perfect his life is or how great his woman is.”

  “Yes, you do, if that’s the case. You need to put him to rest.”

  Sara was still shaking her head as she slipped into her pajamas. “It would crush me.”

  “Your imagination is far worse than reality, trust me. Worst-case scenario. Go.” Christie sat on her bed and stared at Sara in expectation.

  “You mean, what would be the absolute worst thing he could say?”

  “Exactly.” Christie’s eyebrows rose. “Say the worst out loud. And if that comes to pass, well, you were prepared. Anything less won’t seem all that bad.”

  Sara’s heart sank. “I hate this. I don’t want to.”

  Christie switched beds and sat beside Sara, patting her leg. “Look, Mike is probably the perfect man overall, and for you, definitely the perfect man. Super hot, totally sweet, great bod, great career, house—he’s all grown up with grown-up stuff. Very successful. And then, oh, I don’t know, he thinks the sun shines out of your ass. Unlike that other dirt wad, he is a great catch. You need to clear the way so you can snatch him up, girlfriend.”

  “He also wants to start a family. If I am pregnant, he’s gung-ho.”

  Christie’s mouth dropped open. “I completely forgot about that,” she said. “You haven’t gotten your period yet?”

  “Why is everyone so open about saying that? What happened to Aunt Flow?”

  “Who?” Christie asked.

  “Never mind. And no, I haven’t.”

  “And Mike knows?” To Sara’s nod, Christie said, “And he’s happy about that fact? Not freaked out, or making the best of it?”

  “No. Happy.”

  “Oh…” A smile lit up Christie’s face. Then, because she had too much energy for her own good, she jumped up and started squealing. “That is so sweet! Oh my God, I am so excited. Because you’ve always wanted a family. Oh my—this is so exciting!”

  “It’s not for sure,” Sara said, unable to help her grin at Christie’s exuberance. “And I am still scared about how I’ll handle it all, but… it’s nice to know.”

  Christie rushed over to Sara’s travel-stained clothes. “Where’s your phone?”

  Sara reached over to the nightstand and dragged her phone out of the drawer.

  “Why didn’t you take it?” Christie asked as she organized the charger.

  “First, because Jake is scary when I use it while working for him. Second, I was avoiding reading any texts from Mikey before all this. Certainly wish I had it on this survival experiment, though.”

  “Yeah, I bet. Although I doubt you would’ve had service.”

  “True.”

  Christie handed over the phone with another expectant stare. “Worst-case scenario. Go.”

  Sara sighed. “Married her. She’s pregnant. Kicked his gambling and drinking. Became a good husband.”

  “Okay. Call.”

  “Right now?”

  Christie’s stare turned into a scowl. “Yes! Right this second. Call right this second. You survived for four days in the wilds of Montana with not much more than the clothes on your back. You can survive that asshole. Call.”

  “Potty mouth,” Sara muttered, taking the phone, heart pounding. She really didn’t want to do this.

  “Do you want me here, or gone?” Christie asked quietly.

  “Can you grab me some food? I don’t want a witness.”

  Christie nodded and ghosted out.

  Sara raised the phone to her ear with a quivering hand. After pressing his name, she nearly hung up on the first ring. Her hand started shaking violently on the second. A burst of sweat coated her face on the third. She thought she’d get off easy—when suddenly his voice came on the line.

  “Hello?”

  “Um, hey, Phil. Hi. It’s Sara.” She wet her suddenly parched lips.

  “Sara, hi!” he exclaimed, excitement ringing through his voice. “Wow. Long time. I saw your name but didn’t think it was you. What are you up to?”

  “Oh, just in Montana, actually. Got a job here. On a ranch.”

  “Oh, really? You’ve always wanted to go there. So what have you been up to? What’s new?”

  Sara’s heart sank the longer the conversation carried on. She wanted him to be sad and forlorn, not energetic and exuberant. He didn’t sound lost or lonely. He sounded high on life. “Just that. Here, I mean, in Montana. How are you? Just thought I would check in. See what was new.”

  “Well, Sara, I’ll tell you something. I’ve been missing you. Jessie’s hot and all, with a great rack, but she used the excuse of a constant man to let herself go. And she chatters the whole time. On and on about her friends or whatever else. Bitches about my gambling, can’t balance a checkbook—her dad is withholding his money so she isn’t getting a dime. Now she’s pressuring me about children. Poking holes in the condoms. Joke’s on her, though, right?”

  Sara could barely swallow through the lump in her throat. “Why is that, Phil? What joke?”

  He paused for a moment. “Didn’t I ever tell you? I’m sterile. Got in an accident when I was a kid. Thank God—I don’t want one of those little brats. Anyway, when are you coming back into this area? I was thinking—we made a good team. We were good together, you and I. I had my midlife crisis, got it out of my system, and I think we should figure it out. You know? Maybe go through with tying the knot.”

  Sara glanced up as Christie came into the room. Her hands were shaking with a profound sense of relief. It felt like a weight had been peeled from her shoulders. The crippling insecurity she’d felt since he walked away for another woman started to erode. He’d take her back. He had realized it was a mistake. He still wanted her!

  Excitement bubbling through her, breath coming out in shallow spurts, she smiled up at Christie, not even really sure what to say.

  “Can I call you right back?” Sara said with a quivering voice.

  “Yeah, sure. Talk to you in a second.”

  “Bye.” She could barely stab the large red “End,” her hands were shaking so badly.

  “What happened?” Christie asked with a carefully blank face.

  Sara let
out a huge sigh. “It wasn’t me.”

  “What wasn’t you?”

  “I mean…” She got off the bed with a burst of energy, validation pumping her adrenaline. “He left, but it’s just because he was confused. He wants me back! He’s realized he still loves me. Or wants me, at any rate.”

  Christie stared at her with a blank face.

  Sara splayed her hands, willing Christie to realize how good the news was. “He wants me, Christie. He realizes that leaving for a hotter, younger woman wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Don’t you get it? I’m not damaged goods.”

  Unthinking, flying high from the surge of renewed confidence, she texted Mikey.

  Text from Sara: he wants me back! he misses me.

  “Are you going to go back to him?” Christie asked, still without expression.

  “I mean, I shouldn’t. He’s still gambling. And kind of a jerk, if I’m honest, but… I mean, I know him so well. He said he might marry me.”

  “Mhm.” Christie nodded slowly. “And would that make you happy?”

  Relief still bubbled up. She suddenly didn’t feel like such trash. She might be older, sure. And she wasn’t as good-looking, okay. But underneath her exterior, she was someone worth having. Mikey had been right—it wasn’t her, it had been Phil.

  She twirled around, the smile coming up from her toes.

  “Actually, I’m even more rounded now,” Sara said in contemplation. “I just survived in the wild for four days. It didn’t break me. I helped. I caught two fish with my hands! Not everyone can do that. And Dan and May are really impressed with how I handle the ranch. I’ve impressed Jake, even, and Mikey said that’s not easy to do…”

  “Mhm.” Christie nodded slowly. “And then there’s Mike. Mikey. He’s put his faith in you from the beginning. He’s never wavered…”

  Sara took a deep breath and let the smile warm her insides. She looked at Christie, noticing the still-blank face. Christie’s words sank in. The bubbles of relief from a second ago started to pop one by one as the euphoria eroded away.

  Reality seeped back in.

  Mikey.

  “What am I thinking?” Sara asked in a wispy voice, remembering the emotions she’d discovered over the last four days.

  “I’m not sure, but I’m hoping it’ll wear off soon.” Christie looked away from her. She picked at her nail in irritation.

  Sara looked down at her phone. “I just sent him that text. He told me he loved me. What’s wrong with me?”

  Christie nodded once, very slowly, and clasped her hands in her lap. “Sometimes love makes no sense. The question is, who do you love?”

  Sara looked at Christie.

  Text from Mikey: You are a great catch. Of course he does.

  “Mike will support you, whatever you decide,” Christie said in that same flat voice. “As will I. But as a girl who has made some bad mistakes in her life, I think you should listen to me when I say—take a long moment and think about this.”

  Sara did take a moment. She stripped away the soul-wrenching relief and validation that Phil still wanted her, and thought about him as a person. About the long nights when he didn’t come home. And the constant money problems, and lying, and callous behavior. Toward the end he stopped even kissing her. Their lovemaking was less than good and lasted for thirty seconds.

  “I never orgasmed during sex with him. I had to take care of myself after, or when he wasn’t around,” Sara blurted. “In all that time. I didn’t know how sex could really feel until…” Sara let the thought trickle away.

  “Hmmm…” Christie tweaked her lips, as if thinking hard about that perplexing subject.

  “He didn’t open doors for me. Or take me out. He never said I looked beautiful, and towards the end, he very rarely said he loved me.”

  “Mhm.” Christie tapped her chin, making a show of pondering those words.

  “He’s a pig and a liar. What the hell am I thinking?”

  “I do not know, Sam-I-Am.” Christie clasped her hands in her lap again.

  Text from Sara: I love you, Mikey. please don’t ask me to marry you, tho—I’ve spent enough time engaged

  Text from Mikey: I want forever any way I can get it. Chains it is.

  Sara burst out laughing, a new kind of relief sweeping through her. She thought about calling Phil back. About the pleasure of telling him where to shove it. But in the end, she settled for deleting his number. He’d stolen enough of her time. He’d caused enough tears. He didn’t deserve any more from her.

  “Eat, sleep, and be merry,” Christie said with a light voice. “When you wake up, we’ll plot revenge on Duke. There’s a sandwich and some potato salad here. That’s all I could grab.”

  Sara ate a lot faster than she should have, got a pain in her stomach, and then crawled into bed for an hour’s nap.

  * * *

  The next morning, after making that hour-long nap a marathon sleep, she blinked her eyes into the filtered sunlight through the sheer blinds. Christie was up and moving around, getting ready for her shift.

  “Oh crap, how late am I?” Sara asked groggily, sitting up.

  “You’re off. They brought someone in to take your shifts. I think things went a bit crazy in your absence, so May wants you reorganizing the ranch. You spoiled everyone with your management. Besides, there’s that issue with Duke, and you possibly dying.”

  “I was only gone for four days. And Mikey knew what he was doing. I wasn’t in any danger of dying.”

  Christie paused in tying on her apron. She faced Sara, dead serious. “What if Mikey had already wandered away? You would’ve gotten lost. Do you think you could’ve survived on your own?”

  The realization of what Christie said slammed into her. The memory of wandering into that clearing, with only limited supplies—not even a water bottle—sifted into her head. Mikey had been turned toward her, probably having heard the Jeep. What if he hadn’t? If she had been dropped in a different spot, there was no way she would’ve made the right decisions. She wouldn’t have even found water. She would’ve waited there for the whole day, hoping someone would come get her. And no one would have.

  “Oh.”

  Christie tilted her head in agreement. “So this is kind of a big deal.”

  “It’s a huge liability for the ranch, too,” Sara muttered. She glanced at her nightstand for her phone, and paused. A smile drifted up her face. “Is this from…” Her voice trailed away as her eyes caught the handmade bouquet of wildflowers sitting next to a paper plate with food items on it.

  “Yup, he brought that himself,” Christie said with a small smile.

  Sara hadn’t made it to the fire pit, so Mikey had taken a plate to her. He’d picked flowers and tied them in a bouquet with some twine and ribbon tied in a lopsided sort of way. He was such a boy.

  “He wouldn’t let me help him with the bow,” Christie said, catching Sara’s gaze. “Wanted to do it himself.”

  “It shows.” Sara laughed as tears came to her eyes.

  “It’s cute. And that stupid lovesick smile is fitting. Ew. You’re all gooey and gross. I’m going to work.” Christie walked out with a smile.

  Text from Sara: thank you for the flowers. and bringing me dinner. sorry I didn’t meet you.

  Text from Mikey: Of course. When do I see you?

  Text from Sara: apparently I don’t have to waitress anymore, so Ill have more free time. when r u available?

  Text from Mikey: now. I’ll walk to meet you.

  Text from Sara: jeez. impatient much?

  Text from Mikey: Yes. I love you. Meet you outside.

  She collected the plate of cold roast beef and potatoes and stopped by the staff kitchen with it. She tucked it into the fridge and grabbed a breakfast bar and some fruit. When she stepped outside, a beautiful Montana morning greeted her, the sun warming her skin as the soft chill of the morning caressed her face.

  Up ahead, Mikey pushed through the trees with a confident stride, his huge should
ers swaying as he moved, his muscular arms swinging freely. As soon as he laid eyes on her, his gaze stuck. It was still obvious he was on the verge of rushing.

  “Good morning, baby. How did you sleep?” he asked as he got closer.

  “Great, actually, I—” She cut off as he swung her up into his arms for a tight hug. His lips found hers, tender and sweet.

  He set her down gently, only allowing a few inches between them. “You scared the hell out of me last night. I thought you’d go back to him.”

  She felt up his chest and scanned his handsome face. “I was just so happy that he validated me. I wasn’t thinking.”

  Mikey’s lips met hers again. “I love you. Will you move in with me?”

  “No. Not yet. I want to date for a while. I want to be taken out and doted on.”

  A grin curved Mikey’s full lips. “Easy. Date number one will be tonight. I’ll pick you up at, what, eight? Seven?”

  “Seven thirty.”

  “Great. How formal? Tux? Suit? Texan suit? Birthday suit?”

  Giggles erupted in her chest and bubbled out of her mouth. “What’s a Texan suit?”

  “Jeans and a nice shirt for me. Whatever you want to wear for you. You’ll look beautiful in anything.”

  She slipped her arms around his waist and leaned against his chest. “I don’t want to move in with you, but I’m not opposed to staying at your house sometimes.”

  “Like tonight, maybe?” He laughed, dropping his arms around her. “I do want to talk about the future, though. We need to figure out what happens after this summer gig. Where you want to go, and if it’s not here, how I’ll try to… make that work.”

  She backed up to look at his face. Those spun-honey eyes showered her in love. “You’d give up all this if I wanted to move?”

  “We belong together. We’ll never be happy apart. So if you have to leave, if you don’t want to stay, then I’ll need to follow. It’ll take some doing, but I can figure it out.”

  “Huh.”

  He smiled. “Let’s go talk to Dan and May. We need to figure out what we can do about Duke. They are loyal to their staff, so they won’t want to let him go.”

 

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