‘‘Truly we cannot continue to discuss it now,’’ her father said.
‘‘It’s very poor manners that we should leave them alone. Where are they? Did you at least situate them with refreshments?’’ Her father began to pull on his jacket.
Jasmine looked down. ‘‘They are in Lorman.’’
Her father stopped even as he was buttoning up the coat.
‘‘What did you say?’’
‘‘I said they remained behind in Lorman. I rode out alone. No one knows I’m gone.’’ Jasmine watched her father’s face contort.
‘‘Before you get angry, please hear me, Papa.’’ She went to him, tugging on his arm like a little child. ‘‘I had to talk to you about this marriage without Bradley hanging on my every word. I cannot marry him. He’s abominable to me.’’
Her father stared in disbelief. ‘‘You risked your life—your reputation— to ride all the way from Lorman unescorted, for this?’’
‘‘I thought if we had some time to talk, for me to explain how I feel . . .’’
He jerked away from her and began to pace. ‘‘Jasmine, this has nothing to do with feelings. This is a business arrangement that will benefit generations of Wainwrights to come. It will see our family secure, as well as the families of your uncles and cousins.
How dare you come here as a spoiled and frightened child and declare that the entire arrangement be dissolved in order to suit your feelings?’’
Jasmine felt as though she’d been slapped. Her father had always been gentle and protective of her. This was the first time she’d ever faced his wrath.
‘‘I only pray that Mr. Houston doesn’t change his mind. If that were to happen, this family would face extreme consequences.’’
Jasmine shook her head, forcing back the tears that threatened to spill. ‘‘But, Papa—’’
He held up his hand. ‘‘No. No more. I won’t hear another word.’’ He came to stand directly in front of her. ‘‘You are too young to understand the importance of this matter, and because of that, I can and will overlook your foolhardy behavior of this evening. I am uncertain as to how we will explain the matter to Mr.
Houston or whether he’ll be as sympathetic, but you will not speak of this again.’’
Jasmine felt the truth tighten around her neck like a noose. ‘‘So it doesn’t matter to you that I not only do not love Mr. Houston, but I cannot bear to be in his presence?’’
‘‘Time will change that,’’ her father assured. ‘‘Few women can honestly say they marry for such luxuries as love and attraction.
This is a good match. It benefits the greater good of our family.’’
Jasmine saw the determination in her father’s eyes and in that moment felt herself age a decade. ‘‘So my heart is to be sacrificed for the greater good, is that it?’’ How foolish she had been to imagine that her desires were important to anyone other than herself. Somehow she had been confident that she could come home, speak to her father in private, and persuade him to put an end to her engagement. She realized her foolishness.
‘‘You may not understand my decision at this moment, but in time you will.’’
Jasmine shook her head. ‘‘I understand that I am nothing more to you than a possession to be bartered. I might as well be one of your slaves, up on the block, sold to the highest bidder.’’
Jasmine hadn’t expected the hard slap across her face. From the look of her father’s expression, the move took him by surprise as well. It was the first time he had ever struck her. Jasmine touched her gloved hand to her cheek, staring in disbelief at the man she thought she knew so well.
Embarrassed, her father went back to his desk. Toying with some papers there, he said, ‘‘We will speak of this no more. Your wedding will take place as planned. One day you will understand, but until that time, I demand that you keep your childish notions to yourself. I cannot have you ruining this arrangement for nothing more serious than little-girl fears. This is an excellent arrangement. You will never want for anything, and despite your feelings, Bradley assures me that he has come to love you quite ardently.
Your love for him will come in time. You’ll see.’’
Jasmine stared at her father for several minutes, then backed away as if it were impossible to grasp the meaning of his words. For the first time in her life, she felt very much alone.
Jasmine sat alone in the music room when Bradley approached her. ‘‘I believe we should talk,’’ he said rather dryly. He closed the door behind him and, to Jasmine’s surprise, slid the lock into place.
‘‘I’d rather we not be disturbed.’’
Jasmine trembled at Bradley’s tone. No doubt he meant to berate her for her actions. ‘‘I presume you wish to discuss last night.’’
‘‘Among other things,’’ he said, pushing out his coat tails before taking a seat. ‘‘Your actions were imprudent—dangerous.’’
‘‘I thought you would see it that way,’’ Jasmine replied, trying hard to show no fear. ‘‘I do not regret my choice, however. I was very homesick.’’
Bradley nodded. ‘‘I’m sure you were. But you could have met with grave harm. It was inconsiderate of you to risk your life in such a manner.’’
‘‘I didn’t know you cared,’’ she said sarcastically. ‘‘Unless, of course, you’re speaking merely out of concern for your business arrangement.’’
‘‘You do me injustice,’’ Bradley said softly.
Jasmine hated his calm, determined manner more than the times when he was forceful and mean-tempered. ‘‘You are the one forcing me to marry you. I’d say that’s a bigger injustice.’’
‘‘You feel that way now because you’re young. In a few years, you’ll see this as a completely different matter. You’ll have children and a new home . . . you will be happy.’’
‘‘Or else?’’
Bradley’s expression altered and a hint of anger tinged his voice. ‘‘Why do you insist on making this difficult?’’
Jasmine got to her feet and began to pace. Her burgundy gown swirled around her heels as she turned abruptly. ‘‘If you were the one being forced against your will to marry someone you don’t love, perhaps then you would understand my difficulty.’’
‘‘I am sorry that you cannot conjure up some kind of affection for me. I have tried to win your heart. I’ve tried to show you that I am worthy of your love—that I will make a good provider and protector. Still you refuse to yield any ground to me whatsoever.’’
Jasmine looked at him hard. ‘‘You speak as though it’s some kind of war—a battle for territory. I speak of the heart and a desire to be in love with the man whom I marry. Why is that to be considered such a terrible fault on my part?’’
Bradley got up and came to her. To Jasmine’s surprise he didn’t sound in the leastwise angry. ‘‘It’s not a fault, my dear. It’s simply unrealistic. Do you honestly mean to tell me that your friends have married purely for love—that their feelings were considered first and foremost?’’
Jasmine thought of her three closest friends. One had been matched to a man nearly twenty years her senior because his land holdings adjoined her family’s property. Another friend had been pledged to her cousin since birth, while the third was also a victim of an arranged marriage to a local politician.
‘‘I can see you realize the truth of my words.’’ He reached out and took hold of her. ‘‘I’m not asking you to lie and say you love me. I know that you do not. I am, however, demanding the respect I am due. If you want to be happy in this union, you will respect me and honor my wishes.’’
Jasmine knew there was little to be gained by agitating Bradley.
She would marry him no matter her desires. ‘‘Very well. I will do as I am bid.’’
Bradley seemed surprised by her response. He stared at her for several moments before saying, ‘‘But?’’
Jasmine shook her head. ‘‘But nothing. I have no say in this.
My father has arranged
for the marriage. My husband doesn’t care that I feel nothing for him. My life has been decided for me and I am resigned to acquiesce.’’ The girlish dreams of her childhood faded into oblivion with the realization that nothing she longed for would ever be realized.
Bradley stepped back, dropping his hold. Jasmine thought he almost looked shocked—perhaps stunned by her declaration. But why? Why should he find this surprising? Then again, maybe it bothered him to realize that she was resigned to their union—not happy but no longer angry, merely reconciled. What a horrible revelation. Especially for one with Bradley’s passion for life.
Composing himself once again, Bradley asked, ‘‘And you will no longer put your life at risk for foolish notions?’’
‘‘It wouldn’t really serve any purpose, would it?’’ Jasmine said softly.
A tear trickled down Jasmine’s cheek as Mammy arranged the Honiton lace wedding veil onto her soft, honey-brown curls before carefully fastening it into place. She circled Jasmine, straightening the lace to accentuate the turkey-tail edging and delicate florets. ‘‘You jes’ as well quit that boo-hooin’. You know them tears ain’t gonna change nothing ’cept to make your face all splotchy.’’
Jasmine took the handkerchief Mammy offered and blotted her cheeks. ‘‘None of this is fair.’’ She was trying so hard to remain calm and resigned to her lot, but as the moment of her nuptials came closer, Jasmine found it more difficult. It was as if her heart were rising up in one last charge of emotion—one last moment of hope before her feelings were forever buried deep within.
‘‘Lots of things in life ain’t fair—don’t mean they gonna change. ’Sides, you gonna have Miss Alice livin’ nearby, and that’s a blessin’. She’ll make sure you okay.’’
‘‘Having Grandmother close at hand didn’t stop this wedding,’’ Jasmine curtly replied before patting Mammy’s hand. ‘‘I’m still hoping to take you with me, Mammy. Father hasn’t given me his final answer.’’
‘‘I don’ know iffen I’d be likin’ it up north. People says it’s mighty cold up der. ’Course, it might not be so bad, but I’d still miss da other slaves. Best you don’ be pushin’ at your pappy to send me along, or Mr. Bradley be gettin’ mad.’’
‘‘If Bradley said he had no objection to your coming, you wouldn’t be unhappy or complain, would you?’’
‘‘Complainin’ don’ do no more good than dem tears you was crying a few minutes ago. Jes’ a waste of time and words. Now stand up and let me see you afore I go and tend to your mama.’’
The old slave pressed a palm to her forehead and wiped away the beads of perspiration. ‘‘I’ll likely never get your mama dressed. Last night she tol’ me she was takin’ to her bed and never gettin’ back out.’’ Mammy moved her finger in a circular motion, and Jasmine slowly turned around for inspection. ‘‘You look mighty fine. Now sit down while I go and check on your mama and Miss Alice.’’
The bedroom door opened and Alice Wainwright stepped inside. Her attire was impeccable. A sapphire blue ruching bordered her silk gown and perfectly matched the beaded reticule she carried. ‘‘You take care of Madelaine. I’m ready,’’ she announced.
Her face was painstakingly powdered and rouged. A strand of iridescent pearls dangled from one finger. ‘‘For you, my dear. A wedding gift. Actually, I have another gift awaiting you in Lowell, but the pearls must suffice for now.’’
‘‘They are beautiful, Grandmother. Thank you so much.’’
Alice ran her fingers over the lace veil. ‘‘Not so beautiful as this wedding veil. When Bradley told me his mother’s veil could not be equaled, I questioned his words. But I’ve never seen such beautiful lace—or such a beautiful bride.’’
‘‘I wanted to wear my mother’s veil. I didn’t force him to wear clothing that belonged to a member of my family, so why should I be forced to wear his mother’s veil?’’
‘‘Bradley’s mother is dead. This is one way he can include her in his marriage. If the veil were unsightly, I would understand your feelings. However, it is stunning. You should be honored and delighted to wear it, Jasmine.’’
Jasmine sat quietly while her grandmother reached under the veil and arranged the pearls around her neck.
‘‘You don’t appear pleased. Perhaps I should have purchased an emerald. Would you have preferred an emerald? Or perhaps a diamond?’’
‘‘No, Grandmother, the pearls are perfect. Your gift is too generous, especially under these circumstances.’’
‘‘What do you mean, these circumstances?’’
‘‘You know this wedding is a farce. I don’t love Bradley Houston, and even though he seems to have convinced you and Father he cares for me, I believe he loves only his money. A man doesn’t barter for a wife and then avow he loves her.’’
‘‘Now, now, my dear. I’ve told you, it’s best you begin to think of your marriage in positive terms. When you wanted a chance to speak to your father on the matter, I completely understood.
However, you gave it your very best and the time for questioning the event is past. In time, I’m certain you’ll learn to care for Bradley. Perhaps you’ll never love him, but these arranged marriages are not so bad as they sometimes seem at first.’’
‘‘Easy enough for you to say. You’re not the one being bartered off to seal a business relationship. And that’s all I am, you know: a commodity they’re using for their own purpose. Why is it my brothers are permitted to choose any young woman they desire, while I am forced into a loveless marriage?’’
‘‘You know your statements aren’t completely true, my dear.
Your brothers will also be expected to make marriages that benefit the family. And even though you don’t want to believe it, I think Bradley is quite smitten with you. He keeps you in his sights like a man who is totally besotted.’’
‘‘Or a man intent upon keeping his prey within striking distance. I want a marriage like you had, one that is based upon love instead of financial gain.’’
Alice’s lips curved into a wry grin. ‘‘As I told you before, Jasmine, my marriage to your grandfather was arranged. Some would say it was almost barbaric. We met only once before our marriage, and our parents monitored the entire conversation during that meeting.’’
‘‘But you appeared to be blissfully happy. Was it all a charade?’’
‘‘Of course not! I was happy—though not at first, I admit. In those first months, I was too frightened to be anything but gloomy and depressed. However, as time passed, your grandfather and I fell deeply in love. We became devoted to each other. Ironically, years later, your grandfather confided that he, too, had been terrified when we married. So you see, you may be misjudging Bradley.’’
‘‘Bradley isn’t afraid of anything. He’s a consummate businessman who is used to having his own way.’’
‘‘He may excel in business, my dear, but affairs of the heart tend to intimidate even the most stalwart of men.’’
Jasmine wanted to hear no defense of Bradley Houston. ‘‘Still, my marriage is different. Bradley schemed with Father to arrange our marriage, while Grandfather was innocent of such behavior.
I’d truly like to believe you’re correct, but I’ve found nothing to like in either Bradley’s beliefs or his behavior. I know you consider Father a good judge of character, but he’s missed the mark this time. Unfortunately, I’ll be the one to pay for his mistake.’’
Alice cupped Jasmine’s quivering chin in her hand. ‘‘Have faith, Jasmine. Faith that even if your father has made a mistake, your heavenly Father will sustain you. Your mother is distraught over this entire turn of events and blames me. And I suppose she’s right. If you hadn’t come north to visit me . . .’’
Her grandmother’s voice trailed off into a deafening silence.
Jasmine reached up and took her grandmother’s hand tenderly in her own. ‘‘Don’t blame yourself, Grandmother. I don’t regret coming to visit you. We had a wonderful time together. My father could ha
ve denied Bradley’s request. If Mother wishes to place blame, she has only to look at her husband—he’s the one holding the ultimate power.’’
‘‘I do regret the role I’ve played in creating your unhappiness, but now there’s nothing we can do to change things except maintain our faith. We best go and see how your mother is faring. It will soon be time for the nuptials to begin.’’
The two women walked hand in hand down the hallway. Jasmine could hear her mother’s soulful weeping mingled with Mammy’s soothing voice as they neared the bedroom door. She glanced at her grandmother.
Alice gave her a reassuring smile. ‘‘Your mother will be fine.
She doesn’t think so right now, but she will. If only she would release herself from her self-imposed confinement here at the plantation, her life would be more enjoyable.’’
‘‘I think it’s too late for her to change her ways, Grandmother.
She’s become so emotionally frail, I fear that one day she won’t rebound from her depression. Her condition seems to worsen as she grows older.’’
‘‘I’ll speak to your father. Perhaps if he encouraged her to invite some of the ladies for tea or to attend a few social functions, it would help. And with both of us living in Lowell, we’ll work toward having her come and visit us.’’
Jasmine brightened. ‘‘Yes, that’s a wonderful idea. If need be, I’ll come back and escort her. We just will not permit her to refuse our invitation.’’
Alice pulled Jasmine into an embrace. ‘‘Exactly! Now chin up and take courage in the Lord. You are not facing this alone.
Remember what the first chapter of Joshua says: ‘Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.’ ’’
The words touched Jasmine deeply. I am not alone . . . God is with me. ‘‘I’m not alone,’’ she whispered.
Tracie Peterson & Judith Miller - [Lights of Lowell 01] Page 14
