by Gemma Weir
I’m fucking this up so badly.
She wants me to let her go. Never.
I’ll never let her go. She’s mine; it’s as simple as that.
The woman is blind if she thinks I don’t want her anymore. That’s impossible. My cock’s so hard it’s straining at my jeans whenever I’m near her. I need to sort my shit out and find a way to keep her safe and keep my sanity.
I won’t let her run from me; she’s my fucking happy ever after, and I refuse to lose her.
If she runs, I’ll chase her.
I can’t lose her.
I’ve never felt more like a coward than I do today. The women I love is in our bed, and I’m hiding outside. When I finally grow some balls, I walk back into the house and find Livvy fast asleep in a chair. I lift her into my arms, her soft body against mine, and it’s the worst kind of torture. Her perfect Livvy smell intoxicates me, and all I want to do is strip off her pyjamas and claim what’s mine.
I meant to put her into bed and then leave again, but I can’t drag myself away. Instead, I climb in with her and pull her against my chest. She relaxes against me, and I can’t tear myself from her. I miss the physical connection we had. I know that I’m to blame for losing it, but I haven’t done enough to deserve it back yet.
I can hear her voice repeating in my head. “Echo, me being attacked wasn’t your fault.” Conviction is clear in her voice; she really believes that this isn’t on me. I just wish I could believe it too.
She buries herself closer to my body and kicks off the covers in favour of my body heat. Finally at peace, I exhale; it’s so much easier to breathe when she’s in my arms. I thought I was okay before I met her, but since she turned up I’m more than happy. I’m complete. She’s my missing piece, and I don’t know what I’d do without her in my life.
Fuck that. I refuse to know what I’d do without her. I’m never gonna be without her again.
I’m so fucking angry that she wants me to let her go. For weeks while she’s been healing, I’ve tamped down my need to control her body. But when shit about her leaving comes out of her mouth, I have to fight the urge to throw her over the bed and spank her ass.
I’d planned to stay with her all night and watch her wake up all rumpled and sexy. But as light starts to filter through the blinds, I just can’t face her, knowing she’s still in danger. I need to make her safe again, and until Mimi’s found, she’s not. So as dawn breaks, I skulk out of bed like the coward I am.
In the solitude of the house, I try to reflect on Livvy and how I can start to make things better with her. I need her safe, but I don’t want her to be unhappy. Maybe I could have one of the guys guard outside the house when she’s home, so she doesn’t feel so watched.
Fuck, I’ve got to claim her again soon, ’cause my balls are so fucking blue that I can’t take it anymore. I don’t fucking deserve her, but if she’s forgiven me for failing her, maybe I can figure out a way to make peace with myself for letting her down as well.
I know her leaving isn’t a fucking option. I think I’ve figured a way for her to stay, so it’s time to stop acting like a fucking hormonal pussy and man up.
My woman needs her man, and hell, that’s one job I can definitely do.
My phone rings, shattering all thoughts of reconnecting with my old lady.
Fuck, why now? “What’s up, Sleaze,” I say as I answer.
“Sorry, brother, Pres called church, non-negotiable. Daisy’s on his way to you, should be there any second.”
“Why today? Do you know what’s going on?”
“Nah, just that it’s serious and we need to go,” he replies.
“Fine, I’ll be there once Daisy gets here for Livvy.”
I’ve never been this reluctant to leave her before. A feeling in my gut is telling me I should stay, and I wish I could. Fuck, I could just slide inside her wet heat and be back in fucking paradise. Instead, I’m dragging my ass away from my girl and getting dressed.
Climbing the stairs, I lean against the doorframe, my world is lying in our bed. She’s the reason I wake up in the morning. She belongs to me, but fuck she owns me heart and soul.
I turn to leave and take a last look over my shoulder, my heart fucking stutters—she’s everything.
Morning comes quickly and hope blossoms in my chest, but I open my eyes to a cold and empty bed. His imprint in the pillow is the only way I know I didn’t dream him being here. With my resolve tightened, I quickly pack all of my stuff into my backpack and push it to the back of the wardrobe.
I dress for my shift at Strikers then open the bedroom door to Daisy standing guard. His silent presence is the sign I need to bolster my shattered heart.
Hope is a fickle bitch. I’d hoped that Echo would know I’d planned to run. I’d hoped he would be here to stop me. Instead, I’m being babysat again. Daisy’s silence gives me room to think and to reason why leaving is the right thing to do.
The silence is deafening. Since the first day I met Daisy and he mouthed off to Echo about me, I’ve never heard him speak more than one word consecutively. But today his quiet is both a blessing and a curse. He patiently watches me as I grab a cup of coffee. I don’t attempt to engage him like I normally would, and I see the question in his eyes.
Running back upstairs, I close the bedroom door behind me and lean against it. Nervously dragging my backpack from its hiding place, I drop it from the bedroom window. The bag makes a quiet thud as it hits the ground. I hold my breath and wait for Daisy to burst through the door, but as minutes pass and nothing happens. I blow out a breath of relief and text Brandi.
Liv: Bag’s ready for you. x
The plan is for Brandi to wait for me to leave then drive here and grab my stuff. Simple but effective. Scanning the room, I take in the familiar details; this will be the last time I see it. I drop to the bed and pull Echo’s pillow to my face, inhaling deeply, locking his fresh Echo smell to memory. Slowly, I move to the door and pause with my hand on the handle to take one last look behind me before I leave.
It’s time to go. I signal to Daisy, and he follows me out to the truck and opens the door for me. Across the street, Gus is standing on his porch, drinking a coffee. I jump from the truck and race across the street; I can’t leave without saying goodbye.
I hear Daisy’s heavy footsteps behind me, but I don’t stop. My feet hits Gus’s porch steps, and I glance over my shoulder. Daisy stops in the middle of the street, shakes his head, and starts to walk back to the truck. Since Gus saved mine and Echo’s lives, he’s been completely embraced by the club. The Sinners take care of their own, and the brothers regularly drop by to visit with him.
“Everything okay, sweetheart?” Gus asks. His smile radiates warmth, and I dash into his waiting arms.
“Gus, you’re one of my people. You know that, don’t you? Not just because you saved me, but because you brighten my life.” I hold on to him tightly. His arms wrap around me, hugging me back. Once I leave, I doubt I’ll ever be able to come back here. “You make my day every time I see that smiling face of yours.”
His cheeks stain red, and I smile widely, knowing that he secretly loves the praise I shower on him. “Young lady, I swear you deliberately try to make me blush.”
I laugh softly. “I’m so glad I met you, Gus.”
Gus wipes his fingers under his eyes discreetly. “Me too, sweetheart. We were never blessed with children or grandchildren, but my Millie would have loved you.”
“Oh Gus,” I cry, as tears well in my eyes.
He chuckles and steps back. “Go on, get yourself off to work. And stay safe. I’ll see you later.”
I nod and lean in to kiss his wrinkled cheek. “See you later, Gus.”
Head held high, I walk back to the truck. Daisy holds the door for me and I climb in. A single tear escapes and silently rolls down my cheek. I’m leaving so much more behind in Archer’s Creek than just Echo.
Time ticks by slowly; the bar’s quieter than normal. My escape plan’s simple, but we nee
d Strikers to be busy. Sadness fills Brandi’s eyes as she watches me from across the bar.
Daisy sits guard at the far end of the room, so I walk to the opposite corner and beckon Brandi to me. “Sweetie, you have to stop looking at me like that,” I say.
She grabs my hand and squeezes lightly. “Liv, honey, I think you’re making a mistake.”
“I can’t do it anymore, Brandi. We’re making each other miserable. All he feels towards me now is guilt, and it’s breaking my heart.” Tears start to fill my eyes, but I blink them away, refusing to let them fall.
“Are you sure, Liv?” she asks. “Because I think he’s gonna lose his shit when he realises you’ve gone. I think that man loves you, and in his stupid caveman head, he feels like he let you down when you got attacked.”
I sigh and push my hands through my hair. “I know he thinks this is his fault, but I don’t feel that way. He says he loves me, that he owns me, but if that were true, he’d keep me close not push me away. He doesn’t even want me to touch him. It’s done. Finished. Now I just want to leave quietly with a little bit of dignity.”
With an understanding nod, she pulls me in for a hug. “Okay. Just in case I don’t get to tell you later, I’m really gonna miss you,” she says and then rushes away, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.
Pulling in an emotion filled breath, I whisper quietly, “I’ll miss you too.”
The bar gradually starts to fill up with people, and my nerves kick in. The clock hits four fifteen, and catching Brandi’s eye, I nod. She smiles sadly as she nods back. She spins to hand a customer a bottle of beer and swipes a tray of glasses off the counter, knocking them to the floor.
The glasses shatter into a thousand pieces, shards flying everywhere. “Oh my God, I’m so clumsy. That was a whole tray,” she cries dramatically. Quickly handing the beer to her customer, she rushes off to grab a broom.
“I’ll go grab a new box of glasses from the stockroom,” I say. Brandi nods, grabbing Daisy and insisting he man the bar as she tidies the broken glass.
I slip into the stockroom and laugh at the irony of the situation. In seven weeks I’ve come full circle, and like the day I arrived in Archer’s Creek, my backpack’s stacked up against the storeroom shelves. Only this time I’ll be leaving behind the man I love, good friends, and a place I could have called home.
It’s time to leave, but my legs won’t move. My breath stutters in my chest and agonizing pain pulses from my heart. I close my eyes for a second and harshly pull in a breath, forcing a second gasp of oxygen into my lungs. Tears escape from the corners of my eyes, but ignoring them, I will my limbs to work and sling my backpack over my shoulder.
I throw open the back door and leave Strikers and Echo behind. Just like we planned, an out of town taxi’s waiting for me, and I slide inside with tears soaking my cheeks.
Practically holding my breath the entire way to Austin, my ears prick every time I hear a motorcycle. I watch the road behind us, desperate for Echo to barrel down and stop me from leaving.
Far too soon, we pull into the airport, just like Brandi and I planned. I take out my phone and text her.
Liv: I love you for being such a good friend. I’ll text you soon. xx
My hands shake and a sob vibrates in my chest as I power down my phone and remove the SIM.
This day has been a fucking nightmare. Starting with Pres calling an urgent church this morning. The Nevada chapter of the Sinners wants us to start running guns for them. The money’s good, but the risk’s high, and as far as I can see, it isn’t worth the reward.
The club president is in charge, but for stuff like this a unanimous vote from all of us is needed, and we spent three fucking hours debating if we should get in bed with the Nevada brothers. In the end, we all decided that it wasn’t worth it; none of us want to end up locked up.
I got another fucking phone call the moment church finished from a frantic business owner that we provide security for. Someone had broken in and stolen a load of jewellery, and I had to go over and check the video feed.
By the time I get the film of the thieves and pass it to the boys to go track them down, it’s late afternoon and the pull to go find my girl is fucking overwhelming.
I jump on my bike and head back towards Strikers. Livvy’s shift runs till ten tonight, so I know she’ll still be there. Speeding down the highway, I’m fucking desperate to get to her. I’ve had a nasty feeling in my gut all day that something’s wrong, and until she’s in my arms, I won’t settle.
I slow at an intersection and my phone rings, so I pull over to answer it. Daisy’s name flashes on the screen and my heart starts to pound. I texted him earlier to tell him I was on my way, so he wouldn’t be calling unless something was wrong.
“Is she okay?” I ask. I can hear him breathing, but he doesn’t speak, and the sick feeling in my stomach intensifies. “Daisy, what the fuck’s going on. Is she okay?”
“She’s gone.”
“What? What the fuck do you mean, she’s gone? How the fuck can she be gone? You’re watching her. Why the fuck weren’t you watching her?” I shout.
“I don’t know what happened, man. One minute she was here, then she was gone,” Daisy says, worry clear in his voice.
“Well, look for her,” I snarl. “Fuck, do you think someone took her?” I say, suddenly terrified that Mimi got to her.
“I’ve searched, man, but she’s not anywhere.”
“Did you go back to the house? Maybe she went to Gus’s. She and him are close now,” I say, panicked.
“No, man, I’ve been looking all over town, and I’ve even been to the club in case she went there.”
“Fuck. I’ll go check the house. Hopefully she’s there and trying to make a point to me. She’s pissed off at being babysat all the time.” I sigh, a slither of hope filling my chest that she’s just done this to be a fucking brat.
“Echo, brother, I’m so fucking sorry. I should have been watching her better.”
I can hear his remorse and fear, but I don’t care. She’s missing, and it was his fucking job to make sure that didn’t happen. “Yeah, you should have,” I growl.
I kick my bike started and race across town, breaking every speed limit as I fly towards home. If she did this just to be a brat, I’m gonna tan her ass so hard when I find her, she won’t be able to fucking sit down for a week.
Pulling onto the driveway, I kill the engine and jump off. I search the house, but she’s not here. Panicked, I run back to our bedroom and frantically search for something to help me find her. I open our wardrobe door and instantly stop. It’s empty; all of her clothes are gone.
She’s gone, not taken by someone or playing games with me.
She left me.
“Fuck!” I bellow. My fist connects with the wall. Shards of plaster fly everywhere, and a fist-sized hole remains in the aftermath of my anger.
I slide down the wall. My ass hits the floor, and I cradle my head in my hands.
She’s gone.
Frozen, I sit on the floor in shock.
She left me.
My phone’s been ringing in my pocket, but I can’t seem to find the energy to answer it.
She’s gone.
Rubbing my eyes, I blink, forcing them to focus. The sun glints off something just under the bed, and prying my ass off the floor, I crawl towards it. The fine silver chain dangles from my fingers, the heart-shaped charm swinging.
Touching something of Livvy’s jolts me into action. It’s time to fucking pull myself together and go find my girl.
No way am I letting her run from me. She’s mine. I own her fucking ass, and I plan on bringing her home to me. I love her and she loves me. She’s gone ’cause I’m a fucking idiot. We’re forever. I need to find her so I can make sure she knows that too.
By the time I walk into Strikers, I’m so fucking angry I’m seeing red. Marching straight over to Daisy, I grab him by the neck and pin him against the wall, screaming in his face. “How the
fuck did this happen? You’re supposed to watch her, and yet she fucking gone. You’re gonna wish you were dead by the time I’m done with you.”
Daisy’s hands scrabble at mine, his fingers clawing at my skin, trying to get me to release my hold. But I’m not thinking clearly; my mind’s consumed by Livvy and the fact that she ran from me.
Brandi’s shouts break through the red mist. “It’s not Daisy’s fault she’s gone, Echo.”
I drop Daisy and his ass hits the floor as he rubs at my fingerprints on his throat. I turn on Brandi, and she steps back in the face of my anger. “Where is she, Brandi?” I snarl, as I stalk towards her.
Fear crosses her face, but bracing herself, she shakes her head. “Gone.”
I step towards her and she steps back. “Gone where?”
“I don’t know.”
“Bullshit. You know where she is and you’re gonna tell me. Right fucking now,” I roar.
Brandi cowers from my rage, her face paling with fear. I didn’t even know he was here, but Sleaze steps in front of Brandi, shielding her completely from me. “Echo, you need to back the fuck away from my old lady before I fucking put you down.” His voice is quiet, but I can hear the violent threat in his words.
I pull in a deep breath and focus on him. “Livvy’s gone, and she knows where she is,” I say as I point menacingly to Brandi.
Sleaze eyeballs me until I back up a couple of steps, and then he turns to his woman. “Is that true, baby, do you know where Liv is?” Sleaze asks her.
She shakes her head. “She’s gone, but I don’t know where.”
Sleaze steps closer to her and grabs her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t you fucking dare lie to me. Do you know where she is?” he snarls.
Her eyes widen, but she shakes her head. “She got in a cab. But I don’t know where she’s going. I promise.”
Sleaze turns back to me. “She doesn’t know, man, I’m sorry.”
“Where was the cab taking her?” I ask.
Brandi’s eyes widen. She looks at Sleaze, whose expression hardens. Then she turns to me again. “The airport.”
