I tested the word in my mind. Yes, I truly did trust him. Up until Jake, the only person I had ever completely trusted was my grandmother. I was still gradually learning to trust my dad. Definitely not my mother.
Searching my heart, I realized that no matter what Noah said or did, I would never truly believe that he wouldn’t hurt me again. I might as well stop ignoring the truth, because when all was said and done, I’d never be first in his life. That position was already taken by his mother, and no matter how many buckets of water I threw at Nadine, she wouldn’t melt away.
Hell! I wouldn’t even come second to Noah—that spot was reserved for his patients. And being number three wasn’t good enough for me.
Noah was just an old high school flame that I had always imagined rekindling. He was the boyfriend who showed me how far I’d come, not how far I could go. I still loved him, but not the way I needed to love the man whom I wanted as a husband.
Leaning forward, I traced Jake’s jaw with my finger, enjoying the slight prickle of the stubble on his face. He turned and raised an eyebrow, but I just smiled and sat back. I couldn’t wait to let him know how I felt about him, but we weren’t alone and I really needed to talk to Noah first. It was only fair that I tell Noah my decision before Jake and I started to make plans for our future.
CHAPTER 21
Noah tossed the phone into its base and frowned. Dev had asked him if he’d meet her at Gossip Central. Ordinarily, he’d be ecstatic that she had reached out to him, but something felt off. It was odd for her to want to see him on a weeknight. Even stranger for her to be so spontaneous.
He drew his brows together, contemplating the various possibilities. He could only come up with two reasons for their impromptu date. In one scenario, tomorrow morning he would be in Kansas City at the best jewelry store in town. In the second, he would be too hungover to go to work. Either way, it was a good thing he was scheduled for the afternoon shift at the clinic.
Unsure whether he should be whistling or moaning, Noah strode from kitchen into the den. He wasn’t meeting Dev until seven, so he had some time to kill. Flopping down on the sofa, he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. After several minutes with no idea of what he was watching, he switched it off.
Gazing around the room for something to do, it occurred to him once again that this was the only spot in his house that felt like home. He really needed to make some changes in the rest of the place.
When he’d bought it nearly three years ago, he’d told the decorator to do whatever she wanted. Then, after she’d finished and he’d written her an obscenely large check, he’d been sorry that he hadn’t participated more in the process. The only reason that he’d hired an interior decorator in the first place was because it had been easier than fighting his mother.
Nadine had insisted someone of his background needed a showplace, not a comfortable bachelor pad. And because he had never liked conflict, his mother always got her way. He scowled. How could he have been so weak? It was almost as if he took the course of least resistance.
Was that true in his pursuit of Dev? Did he truly love her, or had they just drifted back together when the obstacles in their path had been cleared? Yes, his mother had been opposed to their relationship, but nearly everyone else in Shadow Bend was happy to see them reunited. Folks liked the idea of first love winning out over all roadblocks.
He certainly cared for Dev and was attracted to her, but was that enough?
Checking his watch, Noah saw that he had an hour before he had to leave for the club. He jumped to his feet, strode down the hall, and into his home gym. Stripping down to his shorts, he pushed the play button on his CD player and Puff Daddy’s “Victory” blared from the speakers. The slow intensity suited his current mood.
Noah pulled on fingerless leather gloves, lay down on the bench, and started his routine. He couldn’t seem to get past two hundred pounds, and the muscles in his arms strained to raise the heavy barbells again and again. A few minutes later, sweat was pouring off his face.
He was surprised that he enjoyed the monotonous activity, but it was oddly soothing. He’d never been the athletic type, but on a dare he’d enrolled in a weight lifting class in college and discovered that he liked it. It was good to do something that required brawn instead of brains. Something primitive.
Once Noah got into his rhythm, his mind wandered. Shoving away thoughts of Dev and their upcoming date, he thought about Mac McGowan. He’d heard that the golf pro had kidnapped Gabriella Winston and was now missing.
Despite his heinous crime, Noah felt sorry for the guy. The man had been working hard on resisting his addictions. He’d joined NA and talked about going to meetings several times a week.
Mac had mentioned that he had fallen in love and was trying to straighten himself out for that woman. Noah had been fairly sure the lady in question had been a country club member and already married. It wasn’t as if Mac had admitted any of that, but he had said that he needed to get his act together and be more than she already had at home.
Wait a minute. Noah stopped in midlift. Could Mac have meant Gabriella? But if that were true, would he have kidnapped her? Maybe he thought that once he had the money, she’d forgive him.
Completing the upward thrust of the barbell, Noah considered that explanation. Mac had seemed like such a gentle guy. More of a follower than a leader. Certainly not someone capable of planning a complicated kidnapping scheme and carrying it out.
Still thinking about Mac, Noah finished his workout, wiped his face and neck with a towel, and rose from his prone position. Grabbing a bottle of water from the mini fridge, he took a long swallow and wondered if he should tell Dev about his impression of the golf pro. It wasn’t as if his opinion of the man’s personality were covered by doctor-patient confidentiality.
Noah smiled. Dev would like that Noah was willing to help with Deputy Dawg’s case, and the information would be harmless. She wouldn’t be in any danger, because Gabriella was home and Mac was missing. And best of all, Noah would look good in her eyes.
Turning off the music, Noah strolled into the master bath and turned on the shower. Lucky was asleep in the sink, but the Chihuahua barely opened one eye before returning to his dreams. Sometimes Noah wondered if the little animal realized he was a dog and not a cat.
Occasionally, Noah thought he should swear off women altogether and stick with dogs. Dogs never ask about the previous dogs in your life. They don’t get upset if you pet another dog. And the later you get home, the happier they are to see you.
Grinning at the notion, Noah showered, dried off, and shaved. After splashing on cologne, he walked into his closet. Pulling on freshly pressed jeans and a blue and white striped Oxford shirt, he rolled up the sleeves, shoved his feet into loafers, and grabbed his car keys and wallet from the top of the dresser.
It was time to head to Gossip Central and find out what his future would be.
* * *
Walking into Gossip Central, Noah heard shouting. He tensed, then saw the table full of men in the Sports Pen, an area corralled on three sides and facing the front of the club. The guys were watching the TV over the bar and cheering for the Kansas City Royals.
Gossip Central had originally been a cattle barn, and when Poppy purchased the property, she had kept that theme. A stage, dance floor, and curved mahogany bar occupied the center of the barn, and what had once been the hayloft was now a space that could be rented for private parties. The stalls had been transformed into secluded little spots with comfortable seating and themed decorations.
Secluded, that is, except for the concealed listening devices. Poppy had confided in Noah that she liked to know what was being said in her establishment. She never shared the information with anyone, except occasionally Boone and Dev, but she enjoyed the power.
Poppy glanced up from the pitcher of beer she was drawing, gave Noah a warm smile, and said, “Dev’s waiting
for you in the Drive-In.”
The Drive-In was the smallest of the converted stalls, and the only one with a door that could be closed. Its theme was a drive-in theater. It was intended as a romantic hideaway for two, and the booth was the front half a Chevy Bel Air. The table was a tray that was originally designed to hook to the car’s side window, but was now on a stand in front of the driver and passenger seats. Coming attraction posters on the wall featured ads for Some Like It Hot and A Streetcar Named Desire.
When Noah entered, he saw Dev staring into her wineglass. The expression on her face wasn’t one of a woman about to declare her undying love and devotion.
When Noah drew in a pained breath, Dev glanced up at him and said, “Could you close the door?”
“Sure.” Noah’s chest tightened.
Noah slid into the passenger seat. Dev opened her mouth, but seemed at a loss as to what to say. Finally, she poured him a glass of wine and pushed it toward him.
“It’s that Bordeaux you like.” Dev watched him as he picked up the glass.
“Thanks.” Noah had a feeling that he would need something stronger than wine. They sipped in silence until he said, “I was surprised when you called. You’re not usually so spur-of-the-moment.”
“True.” Dev toyed with the stem of her glass. “The thing is—”
Wanting to put off what he was afraid she was about to tell him, Noah said, “Before I forget, I heard about Gabriella Winston’s return and that she claims that Mac McGowan was the one that kidnapped her.” He raised a brow. “That had to be a shock.”
“Yep.”
“For me, too,” Noah said. “I know Mac, and he seems like a really gentle guy. He never struck me as someone who thought for himself. And definitely not a guy who was capable of planning a complicated kidnapping scheme and carrying it out.”
“Really?”
“He told me that he had fallen in love and was trying to straighten out for the woman,” Noah continued. “He said that he had to get his act together and be more than she already had at home.”
“Well, that’s interesting,” Dev murmured, then snickered. “I wonder if he was involved with a modern-day Bonnie and he had to outdo Clyde.”
“Maybe.” Noah shrugged. “But my impression was that she was already married and her husband was wealthy.”
“That would fit a lot of the country club crowd.” Dev wrinkled her brow, then shook her head. “Anyway, I asked you to meet me to talk about us.”
“Oh.” Noah took her hand and asked, “Is there going to be an us?”
“Noah.” Dev eased her fingers from his and cupped his cheek. “I’m so, so sorry. Although I know it’s as painful for you to hear as it is for me to say, what we have is affection and friendship, not the kind of love we’d need to sustain a forever marriage. I never want to hurt you, and sooner or later that’s what would happen if we were to get married. One or both of us would feel that something was missing from our relationship and look elsewhere. Or if we didn’t actually cheat, we’d want to do it.”
“So you’ve decided on Del Vecchio.” Noah fought to keep his voice from cracking. “He’s all sizzle and no substance. We have more than just chemistry. We have a common past and the same kind of goals.”
“See”—Dev’s tone was gentle—“that’s what I mean. You love me, but you aren’t in love with me. Your reasons for us to be together are all sensible ones, but you would never give up everything to be with me. You would never be able to put me ahead of your mother or your patients. Jake has proved that I’ll always be first for him.”
“You weren’t first when he brought his ex-wife back here to live with him,” Noah snapped.
“But when he realized how much that bothered me, he made it right.” Dev stroked Noah’s jaw with her thumb. “I know that there is someone somewhere who can be more for you than I am. A woman who will fill your heart and your dreams. She’s out there right now waiting for you. And when you find her, you’ll see that I’m not that more that you deserve.”
“Is there anything I can say or do that will change your mind?” Noah’s throat had closed and he had trouble pushing the words out.
“I’m sorry, no.” Dev scooted out of the booth and stood. “I will always treasure your love and our friendship, but I’ve made up my mind.”
Noah watched Dev open the door, then, without glancing back, she walked away.
“Son of a bitch!” Noah roared as he slammed his fist onto the table. When the wine bottle wobbled, he grabbed it and filled his glass to the brim.
He blinked back the tears that threatened to leak down his face. Where was his famous cool demeanor? He refused to sit there and cry over a woman who didn’t want him. Instead, he gulped down the contents of his glass, then refilled it again and again.
Noah wasn’t sure how long he sat drinking, but the wine bottle was empty and his mind was fuzzy. He knew he should get up and leave, but he couldn’t find the energy to stand, let alone walk out of the bar. Not to mention that he shouldn’t get behind the wheel.
This was all Del Vecchio’s fault. Picturing the asshole’s face on the wall next to the booth, Noah drew back his fist, but before he could swing, he heard a soft voice say his name.
Poppy stood in the open doorway, her platinum blond hair like a halo of light around her beautiful face. Her gorgeous amethyst eyes were full of sympathy and something else. Something he might be able to name if he were sober.
Without a word, Poppy slid in next to him and put her arms around him. He leaned against her, buried his face in her neck, and let his tears fall.
CHAPTER 22
Although I should have stopped to talk to Poppy on my way out of Gossip Central, I’d been afraid that if I opened my mouth to speak the tears clogging my throat would escape, and I hated crying. She knew that something was up because I had asked her to reserve the Drive-In for me and Noah. But my guess was that she thought I was telling him that he was the one for me, not breaking up with him.
I had a restless night and felt like crap the next morning, but I had to open the dime store. Friday was Dad’s day to work the afternoon shift and I couldn’t justify asking him to switch just because I didn’t sleep well. Especially since I wasn’t sure if he was alone in his bed or if Catherine had stayed over.
He’d mentioned that Wednesday dinner at her house had been so nice, he’d invited her out again on Thursday, so she might be in his apartment right now. She seemed nice and I was happy that Dad was dating, but that was about as much as I wanted to know. Seeing her behind him, possibly only wearing one of his T-shirts wasn’t on my top ten list of father/daughter experiences. I’m sure Dad felt the same way about my love life.
Lucky for me and my customers, a pot of coffee and a half-dozen leftover pecan cookie bars improved my mood. Between the caffeine and sugar, I could almost forget the dejected look on Noah’s face.
However, I still wasn’t ready to talk to Jake about my decision. It just seemed too coldhearted to go from Noah’s misery to what I hoped would be Jake’s happiness. Also, I wasn’t sure how to tell him or what I expected him to say or do when I did.
If it were the other way around, I was confident that Noah would be buying me an engagement ring before the sun set. But Jake hadn’t said anything about marriage. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He hadn’t seemed upset with the idea of Gran sending out invitations to our wedding, but he hadn’t exactly gotten down on one knee, either. I thought that was what he wanted, but we’d never discussed it, or really anything, about the future.
As I waited on shoppers and stocked shelves, I worked myself up into such an emotional state that I didn’t want to be around when Jake got back to his office. I was safe for a while. He’d texted me that he’d be out all morning trying to find where Gabriella had been held hostage. But I wanted to be gone before he returned.
Yesterday afternoon a
fter we’d seen the wildlife park and Elliot had driven us back to his house, Gabriella had reluctantly agreed to show us what she remembered. But none of the country roads she’d led us up and down had panned out, and eventually we’d admitted defeat. At least, Elliot, Gabriella, and I had. Apparently Jake was made of more patient and sterner stuff than the rest of us.
The store was empty when my cell started playing “Sue Me.” Since I wasn’t busy, I answered it. I’d been expecting Poppy to call, but the Guys and Dolls tune was Boone’s ringtone, not hers.
With Poppy’s hours at the bar it was possible she wasn’t out of bed yet, which was my excuse for not phoning her. But I still thought it odd she hadn’t contacted me last night to find out what had happened with Noah. Unless he’d told her and she was mad at me.
Poppy had always had a soft spot for the good doctor, and if my suspicions were true, she might have even deeper feelings for him. Would it upset me if the two of them ended up in a relationship? It would certainly be awkward at first, but if they could handle it, so could I.
Before I could consider that possibility further, Boone demanded, “Dev, are you there?”
“Yes. Sorry.” Apparently, he’d been talking to me while my minded wandered. “I just lost my train of thought for a second. What did you say?”
“I wanted to know if you were busy this afternoon,” Boone repeated. “I’m going over to talk to Riyad Oberkircher about the Malone house, and I need you to go with me.”
“For the ghost tour?” I asked. “The Halloween activities are starting next weekend. Isn’t it too late to include it now?”
“There’s still time if we can get permission in the next day or two. I have an inspector on standby.”
“Why do you want me along?” I’d known Boone for too long to think he wasn’t up to something. “I’m not on the chamber committee.”
“Riyad has a proposition for you,” Boone answered. “He wouldn’t say what it was, only that if you agreed, he could tell me the name of the owner.”
Lions and Tigers and Murder, Oh My Page 20
