by Taylor Hart
Montana stared at the slammed door for a few moments. His heart raced, and his face was flushed. Slowly, he bent and picked up the list. He took it back to his room and placed it lightly on the table next to Cindy’s Tupperware dish. With great care, he sat and smoothed out the paper.
It was Lily’s writing. Her broken cursive. He thought of her writing it. Thought of the fireworks waking her up and her ferocity as she’d come out of the fort mad and fierce. Thinking back, that night should have been an indication as to how much Jason liked her. He’d told Montana how pretty she was. How peacefully she was sleeping when they were prepping the fireworks.
But Montana’s mind had been foggy. He’d been sleeping when Jason had woken him.
Instead of the rage that always took him by force when he thought of Jason, he was left with regret. Guilt.
If he had stayed, maybe things would have been different. He’d felt so justified in leaving. Now he didn’t know anything.
His mind was running in overdrive. Too much had happened in the past few days.
He leaned back. All he wanted to do at this moment was get in bed and get some sleep. He thought of Lil, and then made a decision. Picking up his cell phone, he pressed Kirk’s number.
“’Sup, boss.”
“Well, you know I’m in Springs Hollow.”
“That sounds like a country song.”
Montana let out a sigh. “Yep, it could be. Look, I need you to do something for me.”
“Okay.”
“I need you to book two tickets to Hawaii for tomorrow morning around eleven. Even better, schedule the jet. If it’s unavailable, book first-class tickets.”
“Sweet. Two nights, right? Then fly into Vegas for the show?”
“Of course.” He had fans counting on him. It was a big commitment. Those people had spent hard-earned money to see him perform. “I’ll be there.”
Kirk hesitated. “You okay, boss?”
“Are you a betting man, Kirk?”
“What?”
Montana laughed, thinking of Lily and wondering what she’d choose. “I’m going to give someone a bet and see what she chooses.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know. Thanks, Kirk.”
Getting off the phone, Montana went to Lily’s door and banged on it, not bothering to knock softly.
Nothing.
He tried again.
Nothing.
Reaching out, he turned the doorknob. The door opened. What in the heck was she doing leaving the door unlocked?
The room was empty, but her duffel bag was there.
He inched forward, inhaling the light lemony scent she’d left behind. Through the window he saw the care center, and wondered if she’d gone there. Did they allow visitors this late at night? Where else could she possibly go? If it were eight years earlier, where would she go?
He raced back in his room, slipped on his boots, and rushed down to his bike. Ten minutes later, he was coming up on the water tower, and he caught a glimpse of her red shirt and sandaled feet hanging over the side. The tennis shoes she’d been wearing must be in the trash, he thought.
Parking the bike, he made his way to the ladder and climbed quickly.
When he got to the top, she was staring at the ground. “Just go away, Montana.” Her voice wasn’t mean or firm like it had been. The words were a soft plea.
He moved next to her, copying her position.
They sat there, breathing the scent of pine and the rust of the water tower. He fought the memories of coming here every time they wanted to get away from Jason or the rest of their friends and make out.
“Jason knew we’d come here to make out. Did you know that?”
He didn’t look at her. “No.”
Clicking her tongue, she sighed. “Yep.” She pointed down by some trees. “He would stand over there and watch us.”
Annoyance flashed through him. He took his privacy seriously these days, but he’d never liked being watched. “Why?”
She sighed. “Because he liked me. He liked me, Montana. That day, the day we were leaving for Vegas and some tacky chapel with an Elvis-impersonating priest, he told me he liked me. Then he kissed me. I was waiting for you, and he came out, and before I could stop him, he told me he watched us kiss. Then he pulled me in and kissed me.”
It’d been almost eight years ago, but at this moment, it felt like Montana was living it. He clutched his hands into fists.
Surprising him, Lily threw back her head and laughed. “Oh, Montana. You’re getting all tense. That’s … funny. Looking back, Jason liked me my whole life. In reality, you stole me away from him. At least, that’s how he looked at it.” She sighed. “He told me he was desperate when he found out we were leaving. He thought he’d have a chance at some point to tell me his feelings. A chance to make it work, but he knew he messed up. He loved you, loved you like a brother.” She paused. “When you moved to town, Jason didn’t have a chance.”
Her mentioning it made it real again. Montana turned to look at her. “It was instant for us.”
Her tears glistened. “It was over for me when we were together. We laughed, joked … We were inseparable, like two magnets.” She drew in a ragged breath.
It was all back between them. The chemistry. He couldn’t stop himself from adjusting his position and staring at her perfect face, her perfect lips. The shine of her hair. She was gorgeous. Her face had tortured him for eight years, and now he was getting lost in her lemon scent.
She’d stopped talking and was staring at his lips.
He leaned in.
Pausing for a split second, she let out a breath, and then her lips were on his.
He moved closer. She was exactly what she’d said, a magnet to him. Their lips were in sync. His hands pushed through that soft hair. All the memories. All the needs circled him, surrounded him like the hurricane it’d always been with Lil. And he was getting swallowed up.
The storm ceased an instant later as Lily pulled back. Her hands were on his chest and her breath gasping. She laughed. Then she threw her head back and laughed more.
It was wonderful, beautiful, breathtaking. She looked exactly as she had at sixteen, and for a second, Montana felt lost in time. Was it then? Or now?
Untangling herself from him, she stood. He stood too. Gently, she put a hand to his cheek. He put his over hers.
Tears washed over her face. “I don’t know how that always happens with you, Montana.”
Little shakes of his head. “I know how.”
“Magnets.”
More tears from Lil made his heart hurt. “Isn’t that a good thing, Lil?”
She sighed and took a step back from him. “I don’t know if it was ever a good thing. It hurt Jason.” She paused. “It hurt me.” She looked away. “When you left, I had nothing.”
Montana felt like he’d been gut punched.
She started for the ladder, a derisive laugh escaping. “The funny thing is that Jason loved me. He stayed with me. He tried to take care of me.” She started down the ladder. “Even though I never loved him.” She sighed. “It’s just sad.”
When they got down, Montana followed her, moving in front of her path to stop her. “You can’t leave things unfinished anymore, Lil.” He took her hand.
Taking her hand back, she sighed. “Jason had to leave a lot of things unfinished. Life’s not fair.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” he added quickly. He was. For the first time since he understood it better, he was sorry.
Lily turned to him and gave him a sad smile. “Montana, you’re sorry. I’m sorry. I guess Jason got what he wanted for us. We’re all forgiven. Jason was a good person—better than me, that’s for sure.” She started to walk away. “It’s over now.”
“Wait.”
She kept walking. “Now I have to tell my boyfriend I kissed you.”
He followed her. “I’ll give you a ride back.”
She waited by the bike, looking defeated. �
��Fine.” She looked away. “I kept the stupid shoes. Put them in the sink at the motel to soak.”
“So there’s a chance with you for things that get ruined?”
She let out another sigh. “Just don’t, Montana.”
All he wanted to do was surround her, protect her, keep her close to him. This strong, bullheaded girl now a woman who had worked so hard and accomplished so much on her own. He wanted to be her rock. He’d always wanted that, if he really thought about it. The hurt had made him feel stupid, immature, spurned. He stared at her without getting on the bike, wanting to tell her, wanting to change things.
“Montana, you’re just caught up in a moment in the past.” She looked up at the tower, then back to him. “It was a good moment, but we have to move on. We’re not sixteen anymore.”
That wasn’t the answer he wanted. “I want to do the list with you.”
She hesitated.
Then he did what he knew he should do. What the mature version of himself would do. The person that didn’t demand things or spurn things. The person that had gone through hard things with his first wife and learned that people wouldn’t always give you your way and that God sometimes took the most important things from you—ripped them away. Montana no longer had a desire to throw the important things away. “I’m releasing you, Lil.”
“What?” She looked confused.
“I’ll give your firm my business. I’ll pay what I agreed to pay. And if you want, you can go back to Billings and back to your life. That’s fine.”
“Are you serious?” Her pale eyes lit with the moonlight, and she looked wonderstruck.
He nodded. “I’m doing the list. I’ve booked two tickets to Hawaii tomorrow.” He hesitated, because this idea had been churning around in his brain. “Do it with me. For Jason.” He swallowed, pushing back the emotion. “For ourselves. To finish it.”
He didn’t want her to say no yet. He knew she wasn’t ready to say yes, though, so he got on the motorcycle and waited. “Think about it. You can let me know in the morning. I promise not to ask again about your secret.” He cleared his throat. “You can tell your boyfriend the kiss was simply closure.”
Getting on the bike, he felt her arms go around him. Then he felt her head against his back. “If that kiss was just closure, then I don’t think I could take a real second-chance kiss,” she confessed.
12
Lily lay in her motel bed. Montana was a whole room over, but it was like she could feel his energy, his restlessness.
She tried to close her eyes and think about something else. She pulled out case files in her brain and looked over each one, thinking about strategy or things she needed to tell Charity.
Picking up her phone, she saw three missed calls from Brad and five texts, but she ignored them. Part of her was hurt. There were no two ways around it. Brad wanted to line his pocketbook more than he cared if she went with her old boyfriend. Another part of her didn’t want to answer the hard questions she knew Brad couldn’t help but ask.
So, at one-thirty in the morning, she called Charity.
“Why are you calling me?” Her voice was sleepy.
“Because you’re a snitch.”
“What?”
“You told Montana about me and Brad.”
“Wh—”
“I don’t care, but you did.”
“That’s not fair. He asked who you were at lunch with. And he’s, like … totally breathtaking, I couldn’t think straight.”
She shook her head. “I have a few things for the cases.”
“Right now?”
“Sorry, I can’t sleep.”
“Are you with the hot guy?” Now her voice sounded awake.
Lily grinned. It wouldn’t do to put Charity off. “You know this is an assignment from the firm.”
“Is he with you in the same room? If he is, don’t say yes. Use a code word. Um, waffles.”
She laughed. “No, he’s not with me.”
“Boo. Boring.”
“Charity …”
“What are you doing right now?”
Charity was her friend, as well as her assistant. Well, if Lily could say she truly had friends. They’d gone to lunch and mani-pedis a couple of times, but Lily was always completely consumed with her work. She spent Sundays with her mom and, for the past few years, Jason. Charity wasn’t just her closest friend, she was her only friend. “He told me I don’t have to stay with him, and he’ll still pay the firm.”
“Released from servitude.”
“Pretty much.”
“You sound hesitant.”
Not wanting to explain, but wanting to talk it through, she began. “Jason was a friend to both of us.”
“The one who passed from cancer?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
“He made … Well, actually, together we all made a list of some things we wanted to do the summer before our senior year of high school.”
“Like what?”
“Surf in Hawaii.”
“Oh, yeah, you should do that. It’s fun.”
That’s right. Charity had done that.
“What else?”
“Balloon ride in Jackson, Wyoming.”
“Oh, I’ve never done that. What else?”
“Climb Devil’s Tower.”
“That is amazing. Hard, but amazing. I’m a guide, ya know.”
“Yeah.”
“So, are you guys going to do it?”
“He is.”
“You totally should.”
“I can’t.”
“Seriously, Lily, you’re being paid to hang out with the hottest guy ever, and I don’t know your past, but if you’re going to do all that stuff, that’s like a paid vacation. Who cares about Brad? He’ll recover.”
When Charity said it like that, it sounded different. “You don’t understand.” Lily didn’t want to think about it all, but she couldn’t stop herself.
The very center of her chest exploded with pain. The past rushed into her. The doctors, the adoptive parents taking her carefully out of Lily’s arms. Jason holding her hand. At that moment, she knew Montana would never forgive her for giving up the baby. She would never forgive herself. Her little girl. She’d given up her little baby.
And she knew that Montana Crew should burn in hell.
“I’m sorry for waking you, Charity. I gotta go.”
“Wait, Lily. Wait.”
She pressed the end button. Rolling over in bed, she let the gulping sobs come out of her into the pillow.
The ache. The pain. The regret. She gulped out another sob and whispered, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t give you a family, baby. I’m so sorry.”
13
Montana got up early and went for a run, ending up at the high school. Staying by the fence, he watched the football team do drills. Coach was famous for keeping them in fighting shape even in the spring.
Before he knew it, the coach was coming toward him. Montana wanted to run away, but he was stuck. He nodded to the big man with the ruddy cheeks. “Coach Spark.”
Coach smiled. “Montana Crew. Boy, we’ve missed you around here.”
When the coach got to Montana, he put him in a big bear hug, then pushed him back and eyed him up and down, letting out a boisterous laugh. “You look like you could run drills if you needed to.”
Montana glanced back at the teens. “Need some help?”
Coach laughed and pounded his back. “I thought I might see you at Jason’s funeral. The whole town wondered, but I guess …”
Of course, the collective voice of the town through Coach Spark. He shrugged. “Couldn’t make it.”
Hesitating only briefly, the coach nodded. “I get it. Life comes at ya a million miles an hour, and by the time we slow down, it might be too late. But you’re family in Springs Hollow. You know that. We’ve been proud of you.”
Unwanted emotion clogged Montana’s throat, and he looked away, surprised by it. He had hardly thought
about the town at all. Since all of it was tied to Lily and Jason, he’d done the same thing he’d done his whole life before Springs Hollow: he put it in a box and shut it, never to be opened again. It was the only way to handle the pain of moving from home to home. But now, with Coach Spark standing there, compassion on his face, the memories all rushed back. Coach cared. This town cared. The man was still burly and ruddy-faced, looking the same as he had eight years ago. Montana remembered he never passed up an opportunity to share life lessons.
Montana couldn’t help but grin. “You’re right, Coach. You’re exactly right. I don’t mind saying that I wish I had come. In fact, between you and me, I wish I had done a lot of things differently.” He let out a long breath. Man, it felt good to admit it.
Coach nodded and nudged him in the shoulder. “You’re always welcome back at a hometown game.”
This simple invitation, this olive branch, made him smile. “I’m going to hold you to that, Coach.”
“Yep.”
“I’m making you a deal. I’ll come up for a game, but I’m sending you and the wife tickets to a show in Vegas. I’ll comp the rooms, dinner, and the show if you’ll be my after-concert guest.”
The coach’s eyes widened, and a large grin spread across his face. He nodded. “The missus will be very happy about it, Montana. We’re big fans.”
Montana patted the coach’s back. “That’s what people in small towns do for each other, right?”
Coach nodded, and he cocked an eyebrow. “You know, I have to put in a plug for sponsorship. The team could use some new uniforms this year.” He pointed at Montana. “And I ask all past alumni for money for the team, so don’t think you’re special.”
Montana let out a soft chuckle. “How about you put me down for new team uniforms this year?”
“Really?” Coach’s eyes widened. “You’re sure?”
Montana snorted and whipped his phone out to text Kirk. “My people will cut a check for ten thousand. Think that’ll cover it?”
“Yes, sir. With that much, we can get the new concussion-preventing helmets the state’s been pushing us to use.”
