by Stacey Lynn
“Travis,” I moaned and then I cried out with my orgasm. My toes curled and every muscle in my legs and stomach tightened from the force of it. My hands clawed at the sheets as I cried out while he continued thrusting; punishing me for not loving him as much as he loved me.
“Fuck, Olivia,” he cried in anguish and then he leaned back, turning me so I was straddling him. He made me face him as he thrust into me from underneath me. My head dropped back until I felt my long hair brushing against my ass cheeks, but still, he continued each plunging move into me. He controlled it. He was taking everything I could give him and somehow I knew this was the last time his hands would ever touch me.
“Look at me.”
I opened my eyes immediately, and stared into his that were full of pain and lust.
My hands flew to his chest bracing myself, but he pulled me closer and sucked one of my breasts into his mouth. I cried out as he bit down on the tender flesh and then sucked on it harshly, his hips pumping into me over and over again.
Our bodies were covered in sweat, my hair clung to my face as my second orgasm hit me like a tidal wave. Powerfully. Deadly.
I clutched his shoulders and threw my head back, grinding against him and whimpering until only the sound of my voice filled the room. When I was done, he pulled me to his chest, rocking into my hips two more times before I felt his cock pulsing inside me, filling me with every drop he had.
When I was brave enough to face him, he was laying on the bed, beads of sweat falling along his hairline, his chest heaving as if he’d just run a marathon.
His eyes were closed and his head turned away as if he couldn’t bear the thought of looking at me.
I didn’t blame him. I didn’t want to look at myself, either.
“Travis,” I said softly, brushing my hand against his cheek and felt the soft stubble of his unshaven cheek. The moments were rare when I could see him unshaven, and I liked the way his soft whiskers tickled my skin.
He said nothing, but he slowly faced me, pinning me again with his harsh glare, right before he lifted my hips and tossed me to the side.
“I need to get to work.”
I watched him leave, grabbing his clothes on his way to the bathroom, leaving me alone in the bedroom.
I was sitting on the couch, watching the morning talk show when Travis entered the living room area. For not the first time since we’d begun seeing each other, I wished that I could love him. It would be so easy. His blond hair, trimmed shortly on the sides showed off his strong jaw and cheekbones. He had long eyelashes that would make any girl, cursing her eyelash curler, jealous and feel all swoony.
And yet, as he entered the room, dressed completely in his police uniform, I felt nothing but a friendship that was rapidly fading.
He watched me cautiously, as if I’d be upset at how he had completely manhandled me and then left me alone on the bed to clean myself up, before he went to his kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. With one hand wrapped around the mug, his lips pressed on the rim, I watched his throat dip and rise as he swallowed.
“I’m sorry I was rough with you.”
He looked sorry. He also looked ashamed and hurt.
I wasn’t sure I could make any of those looks disappear anymore. “I don’t blame you.”
Walking over to me, he sat down on the couch facing me. Knees spread apart, elbows resting on them as he held the bright red mug with both hands. His thumbs brushed the sides of it mindlessly as he stared blankly at the television.
“I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, you know.”
“Travis,” I started but he stopped me with a piercing look. He was simply resigned. I nodded, a silent apology for interrupting.
“I thought that if I could make you feel how much I loved you, you’d eventually feel the same.” He took a slow sip from his mug, not looking at me at all. I had never felt so small in my life. “But I don’t think that’s going to work, is it?”
He stood up and walked away, not giving me a chance to answer when he plucked his truck keys off a hook next to the door.
“I think that it’d be best if you found another place to stay while your apartment is fixed. You can come get your things anytime.” He turned and left, while I sat on the couch open-mouthed and dumbfounded.
And I only felt like a complete and utter shit when my first thought was, “what in the hell am I going to tell Daemon?”
I didn’t sit on the couch for long. There was no point in staying there any longer than necessary, anyway. So once I showered and dressed for the day, I threw a small amount of clothes and a few of the bathroom items Travis and I had bought for me the day before into a bag. I locked the door behind me and slid the key to his apartment under his door.
I felt eyes on me outside of Travis’s apartment before my feet hit the bottom stairs. To my distant left sat a man on a motorcycle. I couldn’t make out who it was, but the cut was familiar enough to know that I was still being “protected” according to what my dad wanted.
I fumed inside. I was pissed that if maybe, they had all just stayed away, none of this would be happening. Maybe, I would have been able to stay with Travis and be happy. Maybe, if Daemon had never shown up at that damn clinic, none of this would be happening.
Blaming Daemon was easy.
Looking at myself to see the pain I had just caused Travis, was avoidable, at least for the moment.
Without looking back to see if the Nordic who had my tail followed me, I threw my overnight bag and small boxes into the back seat of my car and drove to Penny’s.
I briefly entertained the idea I could rent one of their extra boarding rooms, before laughing it off. Visions of my dad’s head exploding in anger seeped into my brain as I pulled up to a stop light on Main Street. Black Death owned the bar. Had bought it after the Nordic Lords turned their back on the escort business. It was a way for the Black Death MC to make their initial presence known in our town.
No way in hell would I be allowed to stay at Penny’s place.
Once I found a parking spot not far from Penny’s and threw the gear shifter into park, I closed my eyes and rested my head on the steering wheel. I needed a few minutes to get my bearings before I sat down for a lunch with Faith for the first time in years.
How awkward was it going to be? Would we fall back into the easy sarcastic banter we had always shared, or would there be a divide of regret and hate between us?
It wasn’t my fault her dad ratted on the club. It wasn’t her fault that my mom was killed and I was shot.
None of it was our fault, but we had paid the price; perhaps a higher price than any of the club members involved. We had both lost our families that night. Faith and her mom had lost any kind of club protection, and I knew that she hated my family for that, just as much as my dad hated hers.
I jumped when I saw a shadow followed by a quick, rapid tapping on my driver’s window. My hand flew to my chest, protecting my heart that was suddenly beating like a herd of wildebeests and glared at the man in the window. I was only able to take a breath when I saw the easily recognizable alligator ink wrapped around his arm.
I pointed my finger and glared at him before I grabbed my purse and opened my car door.
Finn took two steps back, just enough for me to slide through my barely opened door.
“What the hell was that?” I asked, my heart still beating wildly.
“You can’t go in there.”
I looked at Penny’s sign hanging over the entrance door and gritted my teeth together. Fuck him. I hated being told what to do. I hitched my purse over my shoulder.
“I can do anything I want.” I bumped Finn’s shoulder as I moved to get around him, and faster than I expected he’d be physical with me, his hands were on my shoulders, pressing me back against my car.
“I can’t let you go in there, Olivia.”
Jesus. How did women think when he talked with that accent? What would he sound like in bed?
I
blushed madly, and squeezed my eyes closed. Good God. I was not going to think about Finn in that way. Not at all.
He smirked. One side of his lips curled up and there was amusement flashing in his dark eyes as if I had spoken the thought aloud.
“You realize that someone tried to blow up your apartment just two days ago, right? And just because he wasn’t Black Death doesn’t mean he wasn’t working for them.”
My hands trembled at my sides. What was it about these men that they thought they could make all my decisions for me, and I would simply follow like a lost sheep? I hated it when I was a kid. I despised it as an adult, and I had been bossed around enough over the last week and a half.
Since he didn’t know I was carrying, I caught Finn by surprise when I reached for my Beretta inside the back of my waistband and pulled it, aiming it directly at his stomach. We were inches from each other and I pressed the tip against his leather cut. The safety was set, and he could disarm me in a nanosecond, but just the surprise itself—that I had pulled a gun on him—had him taking a step back.
He raised his hands in the air, surrendering, and smiled like a wild animal. “You’re crazy.”
I felt crazy. I was standing in the middle of main street with my pink gun aimed at a man who had been nothing but kind to me.
“I’m having lunch with a friend. And I’m hungry.”
“You wouldn’t shoot me,” he said and lowered his arms. There was still of hint of amusement in his eyes. I wondered if he was enjoying this.
“Probably not,” I quirked an eyebrow and lowered the gun to his crotch. “But do you want to test me? I used to be a really good shot.”
I watched Finn consider his options. His eyes scanned the streets and the sidewalks. For what? Men surreptitiously carrying bombs? He slowly shook his head, dragged his hand through his hair and sighed.
“I don’t like this, and if I see anything, I’m coming in there to get you and taking you to the club.”
He shot me a pointed look that I think was supposed to intimidate me. I almost wanted to laugh. Poor Finn, such a nice guy under all that scary and tough biker gear.
“Fine.” I rolled my eyes, slid the gun into the back of my cut-off jean shorts, and fixed the back of my loose fitting, one-shoulder t-shirt so the gun couldn’t be seen.
Then he moved aside so I could pass him by. I heard Finn laughing softly until I opened the door to Penny’s. It looked the same as it did when I was here before but it felt different. Maybe, I had changed over the last week. I rubbed my hand across my stomach. I’d become so familiar with the idea of having a baby that now I couldn’t recall what I had been thinking of the last time I walked through these doors.
“Hey,” Faith exclaimed, looking at the clock on the wall behind me. Her voice shook me out of my pity party. Only because she was acting all shifty and her voice was a nervous kind of shaky. “You’re not blowing me off for Travis, are you?”
I frowned. “No… why?”
She blinked a few times in rapid succession. “Oh. It’s nothing.” She smiled, but it didn’t match her worried eyes. “Never mind. I can take a break in twenty if you can wait that long for lunch.”
“Where is Travis?”
“Olivia,” she said, in a warning tone. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
My eyes widened. “He’s here?”
“I didn’t say he was here.” Her lie was obvious to the both of us. I pushed passed her and made my way to the back rooms where I knew men could hire blowjobs, lap dances, and other “easy” payment items. I wasn’t jealous. But was he so upset with me that the second he left his house, he came out in search of a whore?
I stopped short when I heard muffled, masculine voices coming from a room with a slightly opened door.
“I told you not to hurt her.”
I covered my mouth with my hand as I gasped at Travis’s clearly recognizable voice. Oh, my God.
Daemon’s voice rushed through my brain, hitting it with the force of a semi: He’s been in bed with the Death for months.
“We did what we had to do, just like you did.”
I didn’t recognize the second voice but I didn’t need to, either. I listened to their muffled voices continue talking until I felt bile rise in my throat. I spun around quickly before I threw up all over the hallway, or did something stupid like run into the room and shoot both of the assholes in the face.
Hurrying quickly out of the back hallway, I barely registered Faith standing by the bar by the front door.
“Olivia…” She reached for me but I dodged out of her embrace. How was this happening? Daemon had been right the entire time.
“Lunch will have to be rescheduled.” I couldn’t look at her as I rushed out of the whorehouse before I threw my hands at the door. I squinted as the bright sunlight hit my eyes.
Finn had his arms on me in a second, pulling me toward my car.
“What in the fuck happened in there?”
I shook my head, gasping for breath as my fingers dug into his t-shirt covered arms. Holy crap! She wasn’t supposed to be there. She wasn’t supposed to get hurt. We did what we had to do. You did what you had to do. My head fell against Finn’s chest as I tried to slow my breathing but it didn’t help. I clung to his arms and rubbed my forehead back and forth against his chest as if it would erase the sounds etched into my brain.
I told you not to hurt her.
Daemon was right. I couldn’t believe it. My hand went to my stomach. I pushed back from Finn right as I heaved my breakfast all over Finn’s feet, directly in the middle of the sidewalk for anyone to see me.
Shit.
Finn’s hands wrapped around my shoulders. He held on to me, keeping me an arm’s length away from himself while steadying my feet. My legs were suddenly so shaky I thought I might collapse. He said nothing as he took a step toward the curb and scraped the tip of his boot on the curve, cleaning off my puke.
“Sorry,” I muttered, finally able to take a deep breath and stand on my own. With the back of one of my hands, I wiped my mouth clean.
“I’ve seen worse.”
I couldn’t bear to look at him. Was he angry or annoyed with me? Did he find the whole thing disgusting or funny? I felt humiliated enough. Humiliated over thinking Travis was any different from any man I had ever been with in the first place, embarrassed that I had thought he really liked me. Even if I didn’t feel the same way, I at least had tried. Had I always been some plaything to him? Had he been trying to get on my side and find out more about the club? Why had he wanted to be with me in the first place?
None of it made sense anymore.
I dug out a water bottle from my purse, swishing out my mouth while the thoughts and questions trampled my brain. Once I had finally calmed down enough to breathe evenly, I pulled my eyes to Finn. He stood with his legs shoulder width apart, arms crossed over his chest and a vicious scowl on his face aimed straight at Penny’s as if he was preparing a one-man battle against something he knew nothing about.
“I need to talk to Daemon. Can you take me to the club?”
His scowl disappeared behind his usual stoicism when he dragged his eyes back to me. “Can you drive?”
My hands were a shaky mess and I still felt like throwing up. Still, I couldn’t leave my car on the street. Travis would see it as soon as he walked out. “Yeah, I can drive.”
I managed to walk five feet into the club before my dad stepped in front of me. The room had once again gone silent, but this time I smiled at the recognizable faces. Switch, Sloppy, Jaden and the other voting members who had nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon, all had their eyes focused on me.
I pressed my lips together when my dad stood in front of me, arms crossed against his chest. His hair had more grey in it than the last time I saw him. My mom always made him keep it right above shoulders, all one length. She’d trim it herself. Now it was scraggly, greasy, and way past his shoulders.
“You’re here again.”
> My eyes avoided his and I searched the small clubhouse that was eerily silent except for the sportscasters on the televisions. “I need to talk to Daemon.”
“I want to talk to you.”
My eyes snapped to his and my lips twitched before I pressed them together to stop from lashing out at him. “I don’t have anything to say to you.” Nothing other than that I hated him with a passion greater than the hottest burning fire in hell.
Since I didn’t think that would go over well, I kept my mouth shut.
“You’re acting like a child, Livy baby. We need to talk.” He reached for my arm, to pull me into his office, I assumed. But for the second time in as many hours, my gun was facing a man’s gut before he could blink.
What in the hell had gotten into me? My body felt like a live wire, ready to snap at the slightest provocation. “Don’t touch me. I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“Put the gun away, Olivia.” I heard the stern warning from Finn at my back, but I ignored it.
“What would you do, Dad?” I sneered, my mouth twisting into a cruel grin. “Have Switch gut me? Maybe Finn could put a bullet in my back or break my arm. Or maybe, you’d prefer to smack me around like you did Mom whenever she got too mouthy.”
I was asking for a beating. I knew it, and I could see him fighting the urge to backhand me right in the middle of his club. No one talked to the president of a motorcycle club like this. Frankly, I was lucky Finn hadn’t broken my arm, yet.
I missed the silent communication he gave, but it only took a half-second before my arm was twisted behind my back, Finn pressed into me from behind, and my gun was gone.
Dad smiled at me, but it was dark and twisted and I wanted to punch him in his overinflated gut.
“You make me sick.”
“And you’re lucky I haven’t taken a belt to your ass, yet, girl. This is my club,” he said, clipping out each word as he closed the space between us. “I don’t give a shit if you haven’t been around in five years. You’re smart enough to know how this shit works. Don’t fuckin’ walk into my club, talking shit like this to me. You want to bitch at me? Save it for home. But here—you show me the fucking respect I deserve, or I’ll have you chained to your old bed, only letting you out to piss and eat.” His thumb pressed under my chin and lifted my eyes to his. “You get it, Olivia?”
