“Och, I am in heaven or I am home.”
There was a click-click, a camera above us, Beaty taking photos.
“Boss,” said Quentin. “It’s...” He glanced at his watch. “It’s 3:29 pm, November 24, 2021. You’ve been gone a really long time.”
“I ken. I ken it has been a year, we ken it.”
“Phew. I’m glad, I just wanted you to not be surprised.”
Magnus said, “We winna be.” He pulled himself to sitting.
I grabbed hold of Hayley’s knee and got to sitting too. “I might cry a little, but yeah, we know we were gone for a year.”
Hayley took my hand. “The thing is, Isla is a year old, you get that, right?”
I nodded and chewed my lip. “Where are they?”
“She’s inside with Emma, sweetie, I’m telling you this so you know, she thinks Emma’s ‘mama’. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s just the way...”
“Of course. Yeah, of course.”
Magnus said, “Chef Zach, Lady Mairead tells us ye hae a new bairn?”
“Yes, she’s a few months old now, but yeah, her name is Zoe.”
“Good.”
“I just wanted to ask you, I mean, you can’t loop back, right? Zoe was born, you can’t redo. You know that right? Because she’s here.”
“I ken, Chef Zach. Kaitlyn and I both ken. Tis impossible tae loop back intae the time we were gone, I wouldna do it. I am verra glad tae hear that there has been a new life gifted tae yer family in our absence. It gives me a comfort tae ken it.”
Chef Zach got misty-eyed. “Fuck man, I was not expecting that, thank you. I was worried. We didn’t know what would happen, we don’t know and she...”
“Aye.”
Magnus and I lumbered to our feet. I said, “I heard that Quentin and Fraoch made it possible for us to come home?”
Quentin said, “It took us forty-three days. I fucking counted, and someday soon, you’re going to have to listen to us tell the whole story, because that shit was crazy.”
Fraoch said, “But ye said we were nae tae speak on day twenty-seven.”
“Absolutely not, we’re taking that to our grave. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about that whole middle two weeks. Definitely not in mixed company.”
We all looked at each other, awkward for a moment, then the hugging. It had taken a moment, but once we hugged, we all had to hug. I hugged Hayley and Zach and Quentin for a long time, and Beaty took a lot of photos. Then I hugged her and then Fraoch and then Hayley again. Quentin was joking with Magnus about bringing more horses for the stable that, technically, he wasn’t allowed to have. Only then did I realize... “Wait a second, what’s Fraoch doing here?”
And everyone laughed. And my eyes drew up to the boardwalk, Emma backlit by the sun, a baby in her sling. A bigger baby on her hip. I inhaled, the baby in her arms was the size Isla had been. The world felt suddenly so cruel.
“Is that?”
“Yeah, that’s Isla.”
“Yeah.” I said. I waved up at Emma with a sad smile and she waved down.
I called up, “Where are the boys?”
She said, “They’re in the house.”
I turned to Magnus. “Ready to go up?”
At the deck I said, “Hi Isla,” patting her back. She tucked her face to Emma’s shoulder and then hid her face in Emma’s hair. My throat tightened. I peeked in the sling at the baby’s face, a sweetly nursing newborn.
“She’s a beautiful baby.” I squeaked out, “Welcome to the family.” I met Emma’s eyes.
We hugged. “I’m so sorry,” she said.
“No,” I said, “no worries, thank you for all you did.” As we withdrew I let my hand trail across Isla’s little back and she burst into tears.
I supposed she got that from me, crying, even when doing so might break someone’s heart.
We walked into the house. Archie was standing at the sliding glass door, palms on the glass staring down the boardwalk. I said, “Hi Archie.”
But his eyes were full of rage and leveled on Magnus. And as Magnus came to the door he yelled, “No! No! You can’t come in!”
Magnus said, “Och little man.”
Archie tried to push the glass door closed, using all his strength, “No! No!”
Zach and Emma tried to intervene but Magnus said, “No, tis okay.”
He pulled the glass door open as Archie struggled against it. “Tis okay ye daena want me tae come in, I hae been gone a long time.”
Archie angrily shoved his legs. “No! Don’t come, no!”
Magnus said, “I dinna get a chance tae say goodbye. I am yer Da and I should hae—”
“I hate you! I hate you!” Archie shoved him and shoved him and Magnus climbed down on his knees and covered his head with his forearms and Archie hit and shoved and punched him screaming, “I hate you!” until he started sobbing.
Magnus lowered his arms. “Tis enough, Archibald Campbell, tis enough.”
Archie gave him one last faint-hearted shove.
Magnus’s face drew down. “Ye can be angry at me, but I am yer Da, and I am sorry I hurt ye. Ye canna hurt me more than I a’ready feel it. Ye can yell at me, but I was lost, and I was tryin’ tae get home, and I couldna. It was verra hard. Please daena hold it against me.”
Archie said, “I hate you.” But as he said it he climbed into Magnus’s lap and curled up sobbing.
“I am yer father, please daena hate me, I love ye and I am doin’ m’best.” And Magnus wrapped his arms around Archie and held him there in the doorway.
Ben stood farther away watching all the fuss. The two boys were so much bigger, what was Archie now, almost four? Older? I needed my calendar. I would probably need to ask Emma. I looked over at Emma sitting in a chair, nursing one baby, consoling the other.
Zach said, “Okay, great, one down. Let’s see — I’m making dinner. What do you want Magnus, Katie?”
“A Big Mac and fries?”
“How about an Angus burger, loaded with bacon and cheddar, with truffle fries, a gigantic salad with citrus, and to top it off, ice cream with all the toppings?”
I said, “You had me at Angus, and loaded, and yes to toppings, all of it.” I turned to Hayley. “And, quick thing, tough to mention without — um... Could you get me a lice treatment? Probably for Magnus too?”
She said, “Holy shit, where the fuck were you?”
“The dark ages, you know this. My head itches.”
“Let me see.” She parted my hair at the base and looked. “Ugh, oh my god, yeah, um...” She grabbed her purse off the chair. “Yeah, headed to the drug store, anybody need anything else?”
Eighty-seven - Kaitlyn
Magnus and I went to our bathroom to shower. It was the greatest goddamn thing ever. Absolutely ever, ever, ever. There was nothing more. Afterward, we wrapped in robes and applied the lice treatment, and then we showered again.
Then in towels and robes and barefoot and clean as could be, squeaky clean, so clean we just about ran out the water heater and it was a big ass water heater, I sat in front of Hayley and Magnus sat in front of me for lice-picking. This was actually rather funny. Especially when Fraoch said, “Why?”
“Because there are bugs in our hair.”
He joked, “Och, they are tae bedevil ye so ye will remember tae praise God.”
Hayley teased, “Are you saying that lice are there to keep us religious?”
“Aye. We hae tae hae trials and tribulations tae ken heaven when it comes.” Hayley pulled the comb through my hair and sloshed it in the bowl of soapy water.
“Bullshit, bugs serve no purpose, and just for that Mister Highlander, you might need to go take a shower.”
I said, wincing from the comb, but rather enjoying her fingers massaging my scalp and pulling through my hair, “I don’t actually think we need any more trials and tribulations.”
Magnus said, “Nae, or reasons tae pray, we hae been down on our knees verra regular. I would like tae walk on m’feet
for a time, without bugs in m’hair.”
So then, James joined us, and while we drank a steady stream of beers from the cold, blissfully cold refrigerator, Magnus and I began to tell our story. Zach jumped from his seat to get his laptop as I was telling the story of the nursery. “You were there in the winter of 1551-1552. Was the baby named Duncan?”
“Yes.”
Zach’s eyes went wide. “His name is Duncan of the Seven Castles, Black Duncan to be exact. Look at the portrait of him.”
I said, “What the hell,” and crossed my arms across my chest reflexively. “Gross.”
“Not really, it’s kind of cool, you might have kept him alive and he built many of the castles around there.”
Magnus said, “Which ones?”
Zach listed them, “Kilchurn, Achallader, Loch Dochart, Finlairg, Edinample, and your family’s, Balloch.”
Magnus said, “Kilchurn as well?” He turned to me, “Ye ken, tis m’favorite castle. Twas Uncle Baldie’s home. Ye might hae played a hand in it!”
I sighed. “Fine, I’ll agree that maybe that’s kind of cool.”
James was looking at a portrait of Duncan. “What a fine looking chap, that ruffle around his neck really makes his eyes pop.”
The portrait was ridiculous, he was an ugly little man with a scowl and protruding eyes. I said, “He was cuter when he was baby, though not by much.”
Magnus and I continued the story and when we got to the part about Edinburgh we did a Wikipedia search of Mary of Guise and Lord Châtellerault and found that she was poised to take over as regent not long after we left.
“Good,” I said, “she was way cooler.”
“Aye,” said Magnus.
I turned to him. “Can you believe it? That we can look this up and know how it turns out?”
“Tis as if we hae been conversin’ with ghosts.”
“Yeah, true.” We held hands and continued on with the stories. We ate dinner there on the furniture in the living room, drinking, talking. How do you share a whole year’s worth of living with people who weren’t there? It was impossible but we tried, with Zach following along with the laptop, showing photos as we talked.
At one point he showed us a reimagined video of mid-sixteenth century Edinburgh. Magnus scowled. “Tis nothin’ like it. Twas filthy, verra noisy, and had an awful stench.” We all laughed.
All this time Isla toddled around, or went to Emma’s lap and sat with her, or with Beaty, obviously knowing she could ask Beaty for anything at any time, and she even sat in between Fraoch and Hayley and made Hayley read a board book.
I sat there within inches listening, aching to hold her.
Magnus and Archie were doing better. Archie ignored me so far, his feelings were so intense toward his Da. He ran off to play with Ben but came back to show Magnus a car or a game and then would run off again. Until finally, dinner over. Bedtime for the boys. Magnus went to take Archie to bed and tuck him in.
He came back and said, “I promised him we would be here in the morn.”
“It’s a scary promise, huh? It feels like a dream, like I can’t promise anything because I can’t believe I’m home.”
“He asked for ye tae come in.”
“Really, me?”
“Aye.”
Eighty-eight - Kaitlyn
I tiptoed into Archie's room.
"Hey, did you need me?"
In the dim light I could see him nod.
I kneeled down beside his head and tentatively smoothed the hair off his sweaty brow. Before I could think about it I said, "I missed you so much."
His face screwed up. "I missed you too."
I gathered him up and held him while he cried. I whispered, "I am so so sorry. Please, please forgive me, I... the whole time I was away I was heartbroken that I couldn't come home to you. I'm so sorry."
And he cried for a very long time while I held him. Until he was finally done crying and I laid his head back on his pillow.
His red-rimmed eyes were wet and glazed with sleepiness. He asked, "Will you be here while I go sleep?"
"Yes, definitely. Good night Archie, I love you."
He curled on his side. "Goodnight, mammy."
I kissed his cheek and sobbed, "Thank you."
When I came from the room, my own eyes swollen and red from crying. Magnus asked, "What happened?"
"He called me mammy."
"Och." He hugged me in his arms.
"I know." I let go of him and wiped my eyes. I said, "It's like no other word works but 'och'. I feel it in my soul."
Eighty-nine - Kaitlyn
Emma came through the room. “I’m taking Isla to her nursery, want to come?”
I followed her. “It’s a lot, huh? Two babies?”
“So much, thank God for Beaty. Or I don’t know how Zach and I would have handled all four.”
Hayley said, “And me!”
Emma laughed. “Oh yeah, and Hayley too, she even changed a diaper.”
Hayley joked, “I’ll never forget it — worst day of my life. And I’ve had some terrible days, I watched my bestie get taken away to the dark ages.”
Isla had those deep drooping sleepy eyes. I stood to the side, quiet, unobtrusively, while Emma put her down in the crib, saying, “Shhhhhhhh, Isla, time to sleep.”
Emma whispered to me, “Would you turn down the light?”
I turned off the lamp and stood by the crib while Emma made a shhhhhhh sound for a moment more, then she nodded at me and let me take over. I tentatively smoothed back Isla’s downy hair, my heart breaking from the closeness and the distance. Then I began to sing, a lullaby that I used to sing to her when she was brand new—
My baby loves wild horses... wi-ild horses...
My baby loves horses, wi-ild ones.
My baby loves berries... black, blue, and strawberry...
My baby loves berries, wi-ild ones.
My voice wavering, tears streaming, Isla looked up into my eyes, listening, pupils wide and drawing me in, entwining us, floating us down.
My baby loves roses... wi-ild roses...
My baby loves roses, wi-ild ones.
I sang her to sleep. And I promised her that tomorrow I would do it again.
I returned to the living room, now empty because the men were in the kitchen, and sat on the couch beside Emma. She was nursing sweet Zoe to sleep and it filled me with love and regret just watching it.
“Thank you. Words can’t express it quite enough, I’m full of gratitude, and I mean for everything.”
“I know, I totally understand... you’re welcome. I was glad to do it.” She sat quietly for a moment. “I’m not going to lie, some days were really hard. I’m not a saint, as you know, but yeah, I am glad I was able to help you — to help Isla and Archie.”
I pulled a pillow to my lap and finger combed the fringe. “You’re her mama?”
“I love her so much, Katie, so so much, but I’m also so glad you’re home.”
My heart sank. “This is going to be complicated, huh?”
“It will. I never wanted to adopt her, but I have loved fostering her. And I’m so glad you’re not taking her away somewhere else, my heart couldn’t take it.”
My voice was so small when I asked, “So what will we do? My heart is broken too.”
She said, “I know. All we can do is do our best. We’ll let you take over without her thinking I’m abandoning her.” She took a deep breath. “And slowly, over time, I’ll become Aunt Em and you’ll be mama, and it will all be okay. I will love being her Aunt Em. I really will.”
“Really?”
“Really, Katie. It will take some time. But I will love being her Aunt. I never wanted more, that’s enough.”
I took a deep long staggering breath and said, “Can I get you something to drink? I remember how freaking thirsty I used to get when I was nursing.”
“I’d love a glass of ice water, and I’m sorry but we’ve rearranged everything in the kitchen, ask Zachary if you c
an’t find it.”
“Of course, no worries.” In the kitchen I refused Zach’s help and opened every single cabinet before I found the glasses. I delivered to Emma a big tall glass of ice water and placed it on the end table. And then I met Magnus in the hall and he held my hand and led me to our bed, and though I had said, ‘no worries’ to Emma, in truth my heart was full of every kind of all the worries.
In the morning, deeply asleep, draped across my husband’s chest, I was startled awake by our bedroom door banging open. In the doorway, Archie, carrying Isla. She was almost half his weight and he was struggling to hold her up. She held on as if she was used to being carried by her brother, even though he staggered under her heft. He announced, “This is Mammy and Da!”
Isla said, “Ma! Da!” He got her to the bed and dropped her on the mattress. She crawled closer to us and sat between us and patted the bed. “Ma! Da!”
Archie climbed on the bed after her, sat beside her, and held her hand. “Mammy and Da. I told you they would come home.”
Isla said, “Ba! Ba!”
Archie said, “Yep.”
Isla patted her hands on the bed. Archie said, “This is their bed. Isla come here see Mammy and Da.”
Isla said, “Ba! Ba!” And crawled to the edge of the bed, lowered herself off, and toddled out of the room with Archie following along behind her, saying, “Isla want breakfast?”
It was like having a heavy weight lifted from my heart. I called after him, “Archie?”
He stopped.
“You are such a good boy, thank you.”
He rushed back to the bed, climbed on it, and hugged me big and squeezing. Then he patted Magnus on the chest. “Da ready for breakfast too?”
Magnus jumped up, and lifted Archie to his shoulder. “Ye better believe it, wee’un.” He carried him from the room calling over his shoulder. “Come tae breakfast, mo reul-iuil. We are home, tis goin’ tae be a grand day.”
The End.
Son and Throne (Kaitlyn and the Highlander Book 11) Page 32
