by Ava Benton
I couldn’t imagine the strain she’d put on her system. I pulled back the covers and laid her down, removing her shoes before pulling the blankets over her. Against the white pillows, her hair shone like gold. I could imagine how much more beautiful it would look once washed and brushed out. She hadn’t been taking care of herself, not at all.
I could admit now that I’d assumed the trouble had something to do with a man—a boyfriend, a breakup, something trivial which she’d get over in time. But this sort of breakdown signified something much more serious. I wished I could get a hold of Smoke, ask him what he thought. He was the scholar, not me. I should’ve spent more time reading about important things instead of pining over Scotland and wasting time watching action movies.
There was a spare blanket and pillows in the linen closet. I made a bed for myself on the floor and stripped down to my boxers and t-shirt, then settled in for a restless night.
It was ten hours before she woke up.
“Oh, my God.” She sat bolt upright, mouth open in horror. “I slept here? What happened? How…?”
I sat up, too, the blanket around my waist. “You don’t remember?”
“I… don’t think so…” She rubbed her forehead. “Oh, my God, what a mess… My head is splitting like I have a hangover.”
“I don’t think it’s a hangover,” I smiled gently. “The only bender you went on was an emotional one.”
Her hands dropped to her lap as memory dawned. “No. I can’t believe I made a scene like that. I’m so sorry.” When she started to swing her legs over the side of the bed, I jumped up to stop her.
“Hold still. You’re going to rest there for a little while longer.”
“I can’t! I have work to do. You know I do.”
“Yes, I know you do, but the first thing you should concern yourself with is eating.” I held up a hand to signal her to stay still, then opened the door to the lab.
My breakfast was waiting, as always. Eggs, steak, potatoes, fruit, blistered tomatoes, toast, coffee, and milk. Everything a growing boy needed. I carried the tray into my room and set it down on the bed.
“What’s all this?”
“My usual breakfast,” I explained, lifting the lids on all the dishes. “Eat. As much as you can.”
“I couldn’t, Cash. This is yours.”
“When’s the last time you ate?” I challenged as I unwrapped the silverware, one eye on her at all times.
Her brow creased in thought. “Oh. You know, I don’t remember.”
“I’ll bet you don’t. You’re wasting away. Now, eat.” I thrust the knife and fork toward her. “Eat as much as you can manage, and then some more. You have to get your strength back.”
“I really shouldn’t be doing this.” Even as she said it, I could see how the aromas wafting off the tray were affecting her. The dilated pupils, the way she kept having to swallow back the saliva which flooded her mouth. There was no denying her hunger.
I nodded, just once, and she picked up a piece of toast and took a nibble. Which turned into a bite. Which turned into her nearly shoving half a piece in her mouth all at once before cutting into the medium-rare strip steak.
It was a relief, seeing her eat like that. I could provide for her even in the most rudimentary of ways. She didn’t even seem to feel embarrassed at eating that way while I watched, which was another good sign. Her body was taking what it needed.
Once she slowed down enough to be able to breathe in between bites, she asked, “What time is it?”
“Around eight o’clock.”
“I slept all this time?” she asked, eyes like saucers.
“Yes, indeed. I’ve never seen anybody who needed it more.” And I was accustomed to staying up for twenty-four hours at a stretch. I knew what fatigue felt like.
“I’m sorry to put you out like this. You, ahem, slept on the floor?”
“I did. You would likely remember if I hadn’t.”
Her cheeks flushed—another good sign after seeing them so ghostly white.
I let her off the hook. “What I mean is, I tend to take up a lot of space in the bed. You wouldn’t have slept nearly as well had I been in there with you.”
“I don’t know. I was out cold. I don’t even remember getting here from the lab.” She looked down at herself, as if checking to be sure she was still fully dressed.
I stopped short of asking how little she thought of me that she had to check for such a thing.
“Thank you,” she finally whispered. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me.” That was when her voice broke, and a sliver of that wounded, fragile girl came through. She left the last piece of toast on the tray and pushed away the rest.
“You’re finished?”
“I’ve had enough.” She looked down at her hands.
“Now, do you feel like telling me what’s really happening with you? And stop lying, please. You’re only wasting my time, and yours. And you’re insulting me.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“Sorry, nothing,” I growled, jumping to my feet. “I watched you cry yourself unconscious last night. You collapsed in my arms and slept ten hours solid. You’ve just eaten enough to feed a full-grown shifter. Your bones are practically sticking out of your skin. You’re not taking care of yourself. You’re falling apart—nothing like the person you were when we first met. What is it? What’s happened in such a short amount of time?”
I glared down at her once I finished pacing.
Tears filled her eyes, spilled over onto her hands, onto the blankets around her. They streamed down over her cheeks.
I went to her again, taking her arms in my hands. “You can tell me. Don’t you know? All I want is for you to be safe. There has to be something I can do.”
“You won’t want to help me when you know the truth,” she promised in a barely audible whisper. “I wish I didn’t… I wish you weren’t so nice to me. I wish I didn’t like you at all. It would be at least a little easier that way.”
Certainty struck me like a ton of bricks, and I let her go, looming over her. “I see. So you’ve been using me all along, just like I guessed. You’re working for someone else. That’s why you’ve fallen apart like this. It’s guilt. You’re an honest person, and they want you to be dishonest.”
I was almost surprised at the depth of my disappointment in her. I wanted to believe the best. I wanted to trust her.
She shook her head. “I’ve wanted to tell you all this time. I like you, I trust you, and it’s been killing me to keep it to myself.”
“You don’t deny it, then. I let you sleep in this bed and gave you my food, and you’re nothing but a traitor.”
Another shake of her head. “Cash, they have my nephew. They kidnapped my nephew, and he’s five years old, and they won’t give him back until I give them your blood.”
It all came out in one breathless rush, and when she finished, we both swayed as if a bomb had just gone off.
14
Carissa
Cash was going to kill me. He could, too. Easily. One little movement with his hands around my neck and it would be lights out, forever. Somebody as strong as him could make short work of a little thing like me.
I almost wished he would. If it weren’t for Tommy, I would’ve gladly handed myself over. I didn’t want to live with the guilt anymore.
He stood there, hands in fists at his sides, wearing nothing but a thin shirt and boxer shorts. It would’ve been comical if I wasn’t so sure he was barely in control of his rage.
When he spoke, his teeth were clenched tight enough to make it difficult to understand. “Say that again.”
I took a deep, shaky breath. “The first day, after I left here, I went to pick up my nephew. Tommy. Somebody had already picked him up from school. They texted, told me to go home, that they were watching me. When I got there, they called. They told me they knew I was working with a shifter—they never mentioned your name, but they knew I was working with somebody
like you. They want your blood. As much of it as I can collect.”
“Hence all the draws,” he growled.
“Yes. You were right. There was no protocol for my taking so much, day after day, when I hadn’t injected you with an antidote yet.”
“Why do they want it?”
“They never said. I’ve only spoken to them one other time. Just last night. That was why I was crying. They won’t let me have him back, and I have to have him back!” Passion erupted from me—I felt stronger after sleeping and eating, and it showed. I got up on my knees, blankets clenched in my fists. “I want him back, and I’ll have him back. He’s all I have, and I’m all he has in the world. If they hurt him, I swear to God…!”
“You swear what?” he asked, almost sneering. His eyes were cold. “So, what? You’ll deliver my blood, and then what?”
“I don’t know! I wish I did! This has been killing me all week. You’ve seen it for yourself. This is what’s been driving me insane. I need my nephew, but it means lying to you. Using you. I don’t want to do it, and I never have.”
“When will enough be enough?” he asked in a dangerous voice.
“When I’ve finished my work with you. That’s the thing. They know when I come and go from this place. They’re still watching. If I deliver the blood to them but still keep coming here, they’ll know I’m still in contact with you, and I’m holding out on them. They want as much as they can take. I don’t know why, I sincerely don’t.”
“I know why,” he growled, breathing hard, in and out through his flaring nostrils.
It hit me then just how dangerous he could be—snapping my neck would be a mercy compared to what he could really do to me. He was an animal, after all. I imagined him tearing at me with long, razor-sharp claws, shredding my flesh and draining me of life.
“Cash, please. I never wanted to lie to you or use you. I’ve been working like a dog because I want this to be over. I need Tommy back. He’s only a little boy. He’s had such a hard life. My sister, she’s in prison. Drugs. He was neglected, abused, hungry, wearing clothes that didn’t fit anymore when they brought him to me. He’s with these terrible people. If I make them wait too long, there’s no telling what they’ll do to him. Please, please, understand. You’ve seen what this has done to me. You know I’m not lying.”
I had never pleaded with so much passion over anything, ever, not even when I was talking to that robot-voiced monster over the phone. Not because I was afraid, either. Not because it was a matter of life-or-death for me. But because I wanted him to believe I didn’t want to hurt him. I wouldn’t have hurt him for anything in the world.
“Do you know where they are?”
“Don’t you think I would’ve gone to them by now if I did? A hell of a lot of good it would do to kidnap Tommy when I knew where they were holding him.” His sharp look told me I was overstepping. I needed to reel it back in. “I’m sorry. This has me all torn apart inside. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
He waved it off and started pacing again. “Is there any way you can help me get in touch with my family?”
“Your family? I don’t even know who they are.”
“No, but I can reach them if I can use your laptop.”
I glanced through the open door, into the lab. “I have to be honest. I don’t know if the connection is private. I guess it would be—everything that happens here is highly classified. I don’t know who provided the laptop, though.”
“Probably Mary,” he reasoned.
“I’ve wanted to talk to her. You have to believe that. I wanted to go to her, or Vincent Everglade, anybody who could help me with these monsters who took Tommy. But I didn’t know if that would do more harm than good.”
“No, it’s better that you’re not the one to speak with them,” he agreed.
His voice wasn’t exactly friendly, but he didn’t sound as cold or unfeeling as he had before. Maybe he would take pity on me. Maybe he’d understand that I only did the only thing I knew how to do: whatever it took to ensure my nephew’s safety.
“Cash, I’m so sorry.”
He appeared to ignore me, going out to the lab instead. Only when he was in the next room did he call out, “There are clean towels waiting for you in the bathroom, and some of my clothes. They’ll be too big, but you should put them on. Clean yourself up. We’ll have work to do.”
15
Carissa
“And that’s the whole story.” I was just finishing braiding my wet hair when I stepped into the lab and heard Cash finishing up with whoever he was speaking with over Skype—his wide body blocked the monitor, so I couldn’t tell who was on the other end.
Until I heard her voice. “It pains me to know there’s anyone monitoring our transmissions,” Mary muttered darkly. “I can’t imagine how anybody found out about this.”
“Maybe your friend, Harrison, has other friends,” Cash suggested.
I gasped.
He turned, eyebrows raised.
Mary must have been able to see me, standing far behind him. “My dear, my dear, I’m so sorry. Cash told me. Your poor nephew.”
I nodded, biting my sore lip. I had bitten down so hard while I was on the phone with Tommy. “I just want to bring him home.”
“I know you do, dear. And we’ll do everything we can to help you.”
I looked at Cash. “You’ll help me?”
He didn’t reply—instead, he turned his attention back to Mary. “You’ll look into this?”
“Naturally. I’ll send a few other friends of mine to visit with Harrison, too. Friends who know how to get answers.”
“I find it hard to believe that he would do something like this,” I piped up as I moved closer to the laptop.
“He’s the most natural choice,” she argued. “I never told him the nature of the work I needed done, but he knows of my long association with shifters. It was a natural assumption. And I’m sure you didn’t deny that you were working with a shifter, if the people who took your nephew accused you of working with one.”
“I tried, I think. It’s all a blur, I was too upset.”
“He assumed, and they jumped on it. On you. My dear, I can’t tell you how it pains me. I only hope your little Tommy is as well as he sounded over the phone.”
“He sounds sad, but not in pain.”
“That’s a relief.” She went back to Cash. “So. Harrison, it is. I’ll find out what I can and get back to you within a day. Otherwise, I suppose it’s a matter of getting on with the work you two are doing there.”
“Yesterday’s test was unsuccessful, but I’m sure we’ll move closer over the next few days.” I leaned in. “Please, no matter what, it’s imperative that these people not find out that you know. If Harrison is questioned—”
“Leave it to me,” she replied, her voice tight.
She looked like somebody’s grandmother, pretty much exactly the way I had imagined her after hearing her voice, but right now she reminded me of a mafia hitman from the movies. Cold, heartless. She would do what needed to be done.
Mary nodded. “We’ll keep him quiet until Tommy is safe. I can assure you of that.”
I didn’t want to know how they’d do it—then again, if he was responsible for the nightmare I’d fallen into, maybe I did want to know. Maybe I wanted to be there when they made him pay, too.
When the call ended, it was just the two of us. Sitting there with him, arms touching, it was impossible to ignore him. His nearness. I didn’t know if I should be afraid or excited.
The one feeling which registered loud and clear was relief. I wasn’t alone anymore. I had Mary and her… employees. Whoever they were. I didn’t want to think too much about that. Whatever Harrison got, he deserved—if he was really the person who’d leaked my involvement with a shifter.
And I had Cash. Or did I?
“I’m really sorry,” I whispered, too scared to look at him.
“I know.”
“I didn’t want to hu
rt you. I wanted to tell you about it. But I was so afraid.”
“For Tommy. I know that, too.”
“Can you ever forgive me?”
He made me wait for an answer.
My heart was in my throat the entire time. Having a little more clarity, thanks to sleep and food and a hot shower and knowing there were people on my side, gave me the chance to reflect on how I wanted things to be different between us.
I wanted him to like me, to trust and respect me. Maybe even more than that. We had started off well enough. Other forces had gotten in our way.
“I don’t know that there’s anything to forgive,” he decided, speaking slowly. Like he was just working it out for himself as he said it. “I mean, I don’t love knowing you lied to me. I especially don’t love knowing you kept lying even when I kept trying to get you to open up. But I know there are reasons, too. You didn’t want them to hurt your nephew. If you hadn’t collapsed last night, you would still be lying, and I would still be knowing you were lying. And you would keep insisting you weren’t.”
“I don’t know how much longer I could’ve kept it to myself.”
“Neither do I.”
I looked down at my hand, surprised to find his fingers closing around it. Even more surprised at how good it felt. How much I had wanted him to do just that. And more. There hadn’t been any time to indulge the attraction between us when the need to free Tommy consumed me. The slightest touch of Cash’s hand unlocked everything I’d forced down inside.
I didn’t say anything. It seemed unnecessary.
It was enough to sit beside him, arms touching, fingers laced.
16
Cash
I sat back, rubbing my eyes. There was something deeply uncomfortable about sitting up on a stool for hours on end, bent over the table, studying slides I could make neither heads nor tails of.
