by S. N. Garza
“What do you do? Seems like something you could travel to do, since you’re here.”
“What do you do Courtland?”
“I still work for Joe. He plans on retiring soon and giving me the garage. Happy to see I’m not a bum?”
Her face went pale and her eyes started to well up with tears. It was completely contradictory to the letter she sent me. Then, her eyes turned hard and any tears she might have shed, disappeared.
“I never thought that of you. Not once. How dare you act as if I’m some snob. Have I ever said that? Gave you an impression that I thought you were anything less than a good man? Ha. You have some nerve. Move.”
What the fuck was happening here? How can she pretend not to know the angry and torturous words she wrote to me? It was her damn handwriting. It had to be.
“I have some nerve? Lady, you have no fucking idea of your nerve. And no. We’re not done talking.”
“Oh, yes we are. MOVE!”
I was taken aback at how aggressive and angry she sounded as she yelled the last. “Calm down, Addy.”
“No, I want you to move. I’m leaving. Sorry. Wait, no. I’m not even sorry. Move out of my way. I will leave this booth by other means if I have to.”
“Adelaide,” I did my best to keep my voice down, controlled and low. “Please don’t make a scene. Sit and Calm down. Now.” That must’ve been the wrong thing to say. Shit.
“Don’t make a scene. HA.” She stood up and took a step on the booth chair. “No man will ever fucking tell me what to do again.” She stepped on the table and walked to the edge and hopped off. What the fuck? Crazy ass woman. She turned to look back at me and right then, I flashed backed to that dinner so many years ago, where I could see the pain and depths of her damaged soul underneath the layers of rage and anger in her eyes. Those eyes didn’t change as she was looking at me now. “BTW,” (what the hell was BTW?), “I am an author of erotic romance novels. My nipples are pierced and I can do, say and wear anything I damn well please. Good-bye, Courtland.”
My face was frozen in shock. Holy-fuck-me-shit. Author of erotic romance? Pierced nipples? Did she really just say all that out loud? The few patrons and waitresses that were there, stared after her as she shoved the front entrance open like a little two year old throwing a tantrum, then they turned and looked at me. I shrugged. What the hell was I supposed to do? I was just as shocked as they were.
I laid a few bills down, enough for the food and about a thirty percent tip to cover them over hearing some very detailed personal images that will probably be locked in their heads for days, and said, “Sorry. PMS.” And I got up and walked out.
I thought she might wait at her car, trying to cool down, before I could try talking some sense into her, when I looked up to see her tail lights glow red, then squealing out of the parking lot. Shit.
Not how I wanted this night to end. Swiping my hand over my face, I felt the stubble prickle my hand. I hated stubble.
I brought out my phone and looked under the contacts I still had from when I was in the Marines, and looked up one of the few guys I actually stayed in contact with. I knew it was later than usual, and when his wife picked up, I knew they were probably asleep.
“Courtland? Everything okay dear? It’s late.”
“Yeah, sorry to be calling so late and out of the blue Maygan, but I really need to talk to Bryan please.”
“Of course,” I heard grumbling in the back ground and a ‘you wanna play right now, babe?’ and chuckling, I heard Maygan smack him and handed him the phone.
“This better be damn important, Phillips.”
“For me, yes. I need to you look up a name for me. I need it like yesterday. Adelaide Claudette Hunter. Moved to Georgia ten years ago. Says she’s an author.”
There was a quiet pause and I wondered if he was still on the line.
“Bry?”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s all I got. I couldn’t get anything else out of her, before she threw a hissy fit and flew the damn coop.”
“Adelaide? Why does that name sound familiar?”
“You know why it sounds familiar, MacIntosh.”
“I do?”
Wait for it.
“Oh, ha-ha, yeah I do. The chick you wouldn’t shut up about at boot camp. Holy shit. You saw her again?”
“Yeah. I did. There’s something different about her, but then the same all at one time.”
“Buddy. That’s how they all seem.”
Smack! “Ouch woman. Not you. You’re the exception. You’re perfect in every way. Hey! Hey I was talking on that thing! Maygan. You’re gonna get-“
I heard a door quietly click shut as I heard Maygan’s feminine breathing come back on the line. “Bryan will get what you’re asking for Courtland. In the meantime, this girl you’re talking about. If she’s someone special, and maybe has a not so great past, you’ll give her time.”
“What if I don’t have time?”
That was the problem. Her life was in Georgia. I didn’t know how long she was planning on staying. It could be a week, maybe a few days. I needed to know. Like stat.
“Then, you got to test her limits. Give her something she won’t easily forget.”
“Are you talking about what I think you’re talking about Maygan?”
“Sex? Yes. Give her life-altering orgasms, Courtland. It’ll stick with her for days.”
Then in the background, I hear a door open and Bryan’s voice in the background, “Just like yours stuck for years, huh?” I heard a girly ass giggle and hung up before I heard something I was not comfortable hearing from a friend and his wife.
I knew he’d get back to me by the AM. So for now, I drove home. Alone, yet again. I figured once I knew what was going down, I was probably gonna get JR to go with me. He was softer towards his cousin. Or I knew he would be. The lust and passion was only rising within me, instead of waning.
I took the coldest shower known to man, because damn, if I didn’t think about that hot blazing kiss she laid on me like a starving woman who hadn’t had it given to her good and proper for years. When the water still didn’t abate the hard-on I had, I fisted it, thinking of how good it would feel to have Adelaide’s hands on me. Her mouth. Her pussy. It didn’t take long and I was shooting jets of cum on the shower tile. That hasn’t happened that quickly since I was a damn teen who just figured out what to do with the dick he was given.
Damn. It was gonna be a long night.
Five
Adelaide
“Damn Adelaide, that’s feels so good.” Courtland’s voice was hoarse and thick with desire. My mouth was wrapped around the broad head of his erection, when I took a second to look up into his face. He was staring right at me. There was sweat gathering at his brow, his eyes were cast low, lidded with powerful, raw, carnal lust. Nose flaring, teeth grinding, jaw clenched tight and in my peripherals, his hands were fisting the sheets in a white knuckled grip. Courtland’s breathing became frantic, and he started to thrust unconsciously upward. My eyes closed at the new motion and I swirled my tongue across the crease, and I was rewarded with a hiss of pleasure.
Just as I was getting used to the thrill and new connection of his cockhead meeting my throat, I felt a hand pushing my head down further.
I tried releasing myself from him, but the hand coursed through my hair, tightened, keeping my head still as his hips thrust hard and forcefully upward, cutting off my air supply.
“That’s it sweet little Addy, you know how daddy likes it.”
No. No-no-no-no.
Not again. Not him. I’m dreaming. You know you’re dreaming, Adelaide. Wake up!
I opened my eyes to see a thin cross staring right back at me.
No. Not happening. Not here. Not now.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t’ get away and I couldn’t close my eyes. Even if I did, that cross would still be imprinted in my mind. Right there, ever present behind my lids.
No. Not
this time. I started fighting with everything I had. My arm thrashing and pushing. Doing my best to shove myself off him, but there was a dead weight holding me hostage.
Hot tears tracked down my face.
“Adelaide.”
Why won’t someone help me? Ah!
I tried screaming. I couldn’t do anything, but scream and call out in my head. I don’t want this! I never wanted this! WAKE UP!
“Baby-girl. Wake up now, love.”
“Uuugh!” Throwing myself up, I sat ram-rod straight. I gasped for breath. I was staring wildly around, making sure it was in fact, just a dream. Not seeing anything but the darkness of the unfamiliar room of the hotel.
“Oh, God.” With a hand clutched at my chest, I could feel a cold sweat sweeping in and my clothes felt sticky and clammy.
“Addy-love?”
Gram.
Sigh.
I closed my eyes and there it was. Him and that cross tattoo. Invading all the corners of my mind. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
I threw the covers off me and scrambled off the hotel bed and ran to the en suite bathroom. Clanking the toilet seat and ring up, I sank to my knees and let go of the bile clogging my throat. Only I hadn’t eaten much of anything yesterday, so all I did was dry heave.
The sickness never lasted long. But never did I ever dream of another man’s face before that cross. It was never pleasant. Not even when I dated or had sex with a guy. I never saw anything but that cross.
Somehow, being face to face with Geoff triggered it. Fuck. Seeing Courtland, after all this time. I have no idea how he got into my dreams. One thing I never did, was go down on a guy. Any guy. Never. Just for this particular reason. I didn’t want the man I was dating to invade my nightmares.
I hadn’t had a nightmare in over a year and a half. When I first moved to Hankerton, Georgia. I had them every night for almost a year. After six months of recurring nightmares, and going to see Doctor Gillian, it took another three months, and some anti-depressants, to keep my mind right. The nightmares lessened, then faded after another year. Not being disciplined constantly helped. Grandpa never raised a hand to me. Neither did Gram. They were just so filled with compassion and probably remorse and pity that they didn’t want to make me feel more like a freak than I already felt.
I knew I woke up screaming sometimes, and Gram or Grandpa would sit down with me. Wait for me to calm down. I know I talked inside my dreams, but I prayed I never spoke them out loud. One night when Grandpa had been in the room, I asked if I said anything. He looked surprised that I asked and he said no. I had no reason to believe otherwise, so I just left it at that. Then three years ago, I came to see Uncle Chet when he had his heart attack. And for some crazy (because it was crazy thinking) reason, I felt I needed to see Geoff and mama.
I came back home to Hankerton with more bad memories and new nightmares added to my childhood ones. Instead of just the acts itself, there was the confrontation, but instead of leaving, I was forced to stay, the nightmare from my past eclipsed with the present, and it was all kinds of bad.
The first time he ever laid a hand on me, I was eight. Back then, he was my father. The only thing I knew him as, besides Pastor for the town church. Well, Baptist church, there was a Catholic church, but on the opposite side of town. The small town of Granville, population three-thousand, wasn’t big. You were either Catholic, came to our church or were heathens. Of course I had to go. Pastor’s daughter. But I sometimes hated that. I believed in God. I knew He was out there. But escaping to Georgia, after everything that happened, I was at a point that I almost didn’t believe.
I mean, how could He let that happen to me? I thought He protected the innocent. I had asked Gram and Grandpa one day why God let bad things happen to good people. They told me, because God gives us tests. Those tests might bend us, but they never break us. To remain strong and keep faith.
I struggled, but I knew they were right. So, I learned to deal with it. I hated it, but I couldn’t do anything about it.
“Addy-dear? Here, lay your head on the tile. Bathroom tiles always are cooler than anywhere else in a place.”
I hated the memories that threatened me. I didn’t want to have nightmares. I definitely didn’t want Courtland in my dreams. Well. Not like that anyway. I knew the next time I saw him, I would probably be scared shitless.
I was leaning on the wall, when Gram lifted the faucet and had a rag in her hand, soaking the towel with cold water. She squeezed all the access water from it, and like an infant, wiped my face and mouth.
“Gram, you don’t have to do this. I just need to rest.”
“Yes, I do. Lay on the tile. It’ll help cool you off.”
I did as she told me and with everything going on in my mind, the coolness helped me relax. My body felt on fire and clammy.
After what seemed like hours, but more like minutes, Gram got me to my feet and I washed my mouth quickly. She led me to her room and laid me down, covering me with the comforter like a little girl.
Just as my mind cleared, and was falling back to sleep, I heard Gram whisper, “God, give me strength.” It wasn’t the first time I heard her say that when I’m falling asleep, but just like any other time, my brain and body were too exhausted to even care.
‡
Taking Gram out of the hotel and getting some fresh air, was just what we needed. I took her to The Woodlands Mall. Which was like a megamall. In Hankerton, where Gram and I live, the closest mall was a sixty mile drive to Atlanta. We didn’t go often, I was usually busy writing for the most part, or with Susie, my best and really only friend.
Susie’s family lived down the street and she had lived an even more sheltered life than me. We became fast friends when I got there. She had grew up in Germany for the first thirteen years of her life. Her dad was Army and had been stationed overseas when he met Susie’s mother.
She was the baby of three kids, two older brothers about five to ten years older than her. The one thing she loves, besides cupcakes, was Disney movies and stuffed animals (I’m not going there). I never knew a girl who was in her late teens, could be obsessed with all things Disney. She’s got such a bright view on life. Bubbly. When her dad retired, they came back to Georgia, and she was a loner for the most part. Until she met me. She told me once, she had a good feeling about me. Besties ever since.
She would love this mall. Gram loved this mall already. So many things to do. We took pictures in one of those silly booths and shopped a bit. Well, a lot. We hit up Coach, got Gram a new matching wallet and purse that had vibrant teal blues and pinks. I got Susie the four ‘My Little Ponies’ from Build-a-Bear Workshop that I knew she’d love. I got me a new pair of dark green Chuck Taylors at Journey’s, and a few matching outfits at JCP.
Being an Indie Author, allowed me freedom in writing wherever I wanted. I did have a contract with one big publishing house for one of my New Adult series and that did help me get to where I am, but for the most part, I made my own deadlines. I usually put out six to ten books a year. The past six years have been really good to me. Hitting the bestsellers list had been a surprise. I had been only writing part time, I had a degree in creative writing and working at a local restaurant. I didn’t have much of a life and the first few books I tried sending to publishers, and agents, they were all rejected. I self-pubbed, and after a year, one of my New Adult romance books took off and made the USA Times bestselling list and after that, it was amazing. I never looked back.
Gram and I finally sat down for a late lunch. I ended up sleeping until eleven and I didn’t want to stay cooped up in the hotel. Mowing over my patheticness. I wanted to show Gram a bit of the area since it was her first time here. I had wondered why they never came here to visit mom or me. I was their only grandchild. It took some digging and being stubborn, but they finally told me it was because mom never told them where we lived. I had been young when we visited them.
“Are we going to talk about it this time, Adelaide?”
&nbs
p; I was in the process of bringing my burger to my mouth, when she asked what I’ve been dreading. I never talked about the dreams with her, or anyone outside of Doctor Gillian. No one knew the depravities that happened at my parents’ house. I could never stomach it, or have the strength to tell them. Gram and Grandpa were so good to me. I didn’t want to dirty up their home with my crap. I still felt that way, sometimes. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her when I asked, “Do I have to?”
I heard a heavy sigh, and I didn’t have to look up to see the disappointment I knew would be on her face. I think if she really pressed the matter, I would probably cave. She really was my biggest supporter in everything I did. She read my books, and even though some of them shocked her, she didn’t say anything other than she hopes this one will be bigger than the last. I had been blessed with so much unwavering support. I think maybe after this trip, I’ll tell her everything.
“No, Adelaide. You never have to do anything you don’t want to. Just know I’m here for you.”
Holding back the tears I knew were threatening to spill, I looked up at her. “How about when we get back home, we’ll have a slumber party, I’ll invite Susie and I’ll tell you both? I know she wants to know, too. Guess who I saw last night?”
I desperately wanted to change the subject off my nightmares. I knew she would love to hear about Courtland. I had told her about being close friends with him and JR. How despite our age differences, JR and Courtland were my best friends. I felt drawn to Courtland since I met him at fifteen. I tagged along behind them, sometimes when they didn’t want me to. I had to get out of the house and I always used seeing JR and his family as the excuse. Because they were family, Geoff didn’t disapprove. I still had a curfew, and when I was late, I was smacked around a bit. Well, not on my face, but I was whipped like a disobedient child. It didn’t happen all that often, so I really didn’t care about being whipped, anything to get out of that house and be free was well worth it. My parent’s relationship had been strange growing up. I never talked much to my mother. She never seemed to care about me too much. Looking back now, I figured because mom was too scared to go back home pregnant.
