by S. N. Garza
“Yeah, let’s not give Gram a heart attack.”
The hotel where she was staying wasn’t that very far from The Woodlands Mall.SO we went and made our way walking through the mall, where countless number of women, as they walked past, stared at me, then my shirt and smirked as if they were having a chick moment. Rolling my eyes at them and catching the laughter in Addy’s eyes, I only shook my head.
Then, with an excited look on her face, she exclaimed, “Ooh! Hey! Look, a Hot Topic! I didn’t see this yesterday.”
My eye’s widened. I mean, really?!
“Hot Topic? Are you a punk chick now? You came yesterday?”
She grabbed my arm and dragged me in the store. I swear I could feel myself shrink. The guy at the register looked like he was in desperate need for some sun. All that black and he had a spiked collar around his neck and matching bracelets and the gauges in his ears were freaky and huge, where shit, I could probably shoot pencils through it. Weird. However, the guy’s voice was pleasant as he greeted us and told us if there was anything we needed, we only need to ask.
Addy turned back to me after saying thank you to the clerk and said to me, “No, I am not, but they have a lot of Disney themed clothes and my best friend in Hankerton loves Disney stuff. We don’t get to Atlanta very often and I know she would just love some of these Disney Princess shirts.”
Four agonizing hours later, I was sitting in Victoria’s Secret as Adelaide was thumbing through the underwear. I felt so outta place, sitting in a small pink chair in one of the corners while watching her shop. A few women had tried to stop and talk to me, but I just said I was with someone, and pointed to Adelaide. I knew I was a good looking guy. I looked like a bad ass cowboy with my boots, jeans, tats and backwards baseball cap. But I hated it when women came on to me, trying to stick their claws into me. Adelaide didn’t even pay me any attention. Like I was just a damn accessory. She looked really good from where I was sitting, so I didn’t complain.
She looked so serious as she shopped. I imagined her trying each item she picked up and my brain was overloading with pent up sexual frustration. She had grabbed a few pieces, then made her way over to the nightwear. She didn’t go to the lingerie, but to the sweat pants and tank tops instead.
“What color do you think?”
She was holding up three different colors and by the look on her face, she was genuinely asking for my opinion. I had no idea about colors for shit in women’s clothing, but I looked at each color and the green brought out the blue in her eyes more, so I went with that.
“Green.”
“Hmm. Okay.”
She set the others back and grabbed two. I thought that was weird.
“Ones for Susan. I like matching us sometimes. She’ll like them. Come on. Let me pay for these, and we can go eat.”
On the way to the counter, she stopped at the bras, matched her underwear to them and we went to go pay for them.
Finally. Maybe she was done shopping. We had went to several different shops. VS being the last one. I was riddled with bags since I didn’t let her carry many, but one or two, which was pink with the VS label. I honestly didn’t mind. Seeing her happy and carefree was refreshing. I loved watching her move in those clothes as I walked a little behind her. She looked so beautifully tempting. Thinking about her in nothing but these skimpy skivvies, I couldn’t resist asking, “Maybe you’ll model these for me?”
Her laughter filled my ears and I couldn’t be any more betwixt.
Eleven
Adelaide
We walked back to the hotel to unload all the merchandise I bought for Susie, Gram and myself. Gram was sitting in one of the recliners as we shuffled inside. I didn’t know how she would react to meeting Courtland, and I almost wanted to tell him to wait outside. I knew I would call myself ten different kinds of coward, so I took a deep breath and called out to her.
She turned and when she saw Courtland in all his sexy tempting self, she stood and smiled coyly. What in the world?
“Hello, ma’am.” He took off his cap, which made his hair stick up and out like he just woke up. Dammit, he was so handsome.
“Ma’am? Pshaw! Call me Gram. Any friend of my Addy-dear and all that. I see y’all did some shopping. Did you get that Disney stuff you wanted to get for Susie?”
I was still in lust as I looked at Courtland, when she called out my name again.
“Oh, yes. I did. She’s gonna love everything. We don’t have a Hot Topic in Atlanta, so she’ll be excited. We were about to go eat. Do you want to join us?”
She looked from me to Courtland, who smiled and chuckled low to himself. “What Courtland? It’s a nice invitation, and I don’t want her sitting here all by herself. She should get out and enjoy the Houston night life.”
“Don’t be so scared to have a little dinner with me alone, Adelaide.”
“I’m not scared to go alone to dinner with you.”
“Yeah, I bet.” Then, turning and walking over to Gram, he stuck out his elbow, awaiting her to wrap her arm around his, saying, “I would be honored to have you come to dinner with us Gram.”
Hearing him call her Gram was doing funny things to my tummy. Little butterfly sensations coursed throughout, suddenly making me aware at how sweet Courtland could really be.
“Oh, my. Aren’t you sweet?”
Courtland looked at me, winked and I followed in their wake, leaving our hotel room.
We went to the nearest Texas Roadhouse, and I got in one of the booths thinking Courtland would sit across from me, and Gram would sit next to me. Gram maneuvered us so Courtland squeezed in next to me, pushing me in so I was closed in and couldn’t get out. I glared at Gram, who just giggled. Gram was not a giggler. I felt Courtland’s arm shift to the back of the booth, not really embracing me, but his fingers played with the strands of my hair. Twirling. Untwirling. Tugging. Releasing. Then repeat. I started to feel the darkness closing in, when Gram’s voice came through and brought me back.
Having him play with my hair wasn’t so bad. I felt my scalp tingling from the sensations, and I felt my core start to feel the after effects. Gram didn’t notice, thank goodness she was too interested in what Courtland was talking about. Something about how he met Joe and became a mechanic.
I knew the story of how he became emancipated at seventeen and had taken an opening at Joe’s garage. He did so well with his hands. I was proud of the man he became. I always knew he was a good man. Even when I was younger, he worked very hard. I didn’t know him before he came to Granville, and he only told me bits and pieces.
“Why did you get emancipated?”
“Gram! That’s rude.”
Courtland chuckled. “It’s okay, babe.” He kissed my temple and brought me firmly in the crook of his arms. “My mother was a prostitute, and we lived under her pimp’s roof. When I got old enough to do something about it, I left.”
He didn’t seem ashamed or torn up about his past. Well, not anymore. I remember he was kinda snarky to a lot of people when we were younger. Never to me though. For some reason, he was always a perfect gentleman. He opened up doors for me, paid whenever we went out. Even when JR was with us, he never let me pay for myself or let JR pay for me. He always took it upon himself to take care of me.
I wondered how I didn’t see the deep affection he had for me. I wonder if that’s why we took things to the next level last night. I really didn’t know if I was attracted to him back then. Ten years ago, I was just desperate for an escape. Whenever I could, I hung out with him and JR. Growing up, JR was always protective of me. I told him mostly everything. He was like a brother to me in many ways. The only thing I never told him was the beatings I got from who I thought was my father. Geoff always spanked me. I didn’t even think about how he did it either.
Sometimes I wonder why I never saw how evil Geoff really was. How sick and depraved he truly had been. Or probably still is. The other day when I went to go see him, it looked as if he wanted to tell me somet
hing that I knew would make me flashback to the bad shit that happened. But I left before he could even say anything.
∞
I told JR our arguments, thinking he could give me advice as to what I should do, but that last summer, I closed in on myself. I had went to Uncle Chet’s only a handful of times. I couldn’t stomach looking at Uncle Chet because of his close resemblance to Geoff. I never looked him in the eye. JR looked more like his mother, so it wasn’t too bad. I felt close to him. But I knew that he knew, I was keeping something back. I know he’s never figured out what. Him, Courtland or Uncle Chet.
Uncle Chet was always talking to me about dating and boys. I never went on a date before. The one time a guy asked me to a dance, I asked my mother, who then told me to ask my dad, and when I did? It didn’t end well for me. I didn’t have the heart to tell Uncle Chet that he was wasting his advice. He seemed really happy in telling me about rowdy teenage cowboys, and to never let them have their way.
Thinking back on it, I remember that conversation. I was sixteen, JR was home for the weekend from U of H and had gotten Courtland to come over for dinner and the game Saturday evening. Dad told me to be home by nine thirty, but I hadn’t cared. I loved spending time with JR and Courtland. They were older than me, but always had the best of intentions. JR was kidding around saying he’d have to beat the rowdy cowboys up if they messed with me. Courtland just stood to the side. Not saying anything. Just brooding like he always did when I came around. His jaw ticked tight though at the mention of me dating. His eyes would lock on mine and just stare. He sometimes did that. Just look at me as if he was seeing right through me. It was disturbing yet I wanted to confide in someone so bad. I never did though. The anger and shame I felt, kept the words at bay.
When it had been time for me to go, it was after the time dad had said. It was almost ten and I knew I would get in trouble. I thanked Aunt Maggie for another wonderful dinner and started leaving. I didn’t drive and I knew the trouble I would get in, as I made my way to leave. But anytime away from my parents’ house was a blessing. Uncle Chet had offered me a ride, but Courtland interrupted and told him he needed to get home anyway. He had to get up early and go to the garage, so he’d go ahead and take me home.
They didn’t think anything of it except him being a gentleman, and knew I would be safe with him. He walked me to the passenger side, opened the door and when it was a little too high to jump into, he placed his hands on my waist and hefted me inside. He walked to the driver’s side of his old Chevy truck and started the drive home.
“Addy, you really shouldn’t be going out with those boys. They would hurt your sweet beautiful heart and I would end up having to kill them.”
I laughed because I didn’t know if he was serious, or just joking around.
“I don’t plan on dating anybody. Besides, most think I’m a cold, frigid girl because I’m a pastor’s daughter. Whatever the heck that means.”
Courtland’s hands had stretched tight on the steering wheel when he growled, “Who said that?”
“Just some stupid boys. Why? What does that mean? Is it bad?”
“Addy.” He had pulled up at my parents, and unhooked my seatbelt. Sliding me over to him, he touched his forehead to mine and whispered, “Addy. You could never be like that. Never listen to those bigots. You are perfect in every way.” He leaned back, placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. When I turned to look at the house, I saw one of curtains flitter back into place.
Oh, God.
I was already really late. I’m sure he saw Courtland give me that small kiss. My first kiss. Even though it wasn’t on the lips. Perhaps like a brother.
I had been told he was from the wrong side of the city and to not get mixed up with the tattooed, bad boy. Even though he was best friends with my cousin, I didn’t care. He was a great guy. Always being sweet to me and being a real gentleman. I said my goodbyes and he waited until I was opening the door before he pulled away.
I had barely clicked the door shut when dad’s hand gripped my upper arm and he tugged me to my room. It was on the opposite side of the house from where his and mom’s room was. He shoved me, and shut the door behind him, locking it. He told me he added the lock a few years ago for ‘my safety in case something happened or someone tried to break in’. The only one I needed to be safe from, was looking at me like I was nothing but a pain.
“It’s after ten Adelaide. What were you doing out so late? Why were you out with him? I told you, he’s nothing, but a lowlife criminal that even God couldn’t redeem.”
I didn’t think that was true. Courtland was a wonderful guy; a young man that I thought could do no wrong. He never judged me. Never pried too deep.
∞
“Adelaide.”
I had been so lost in my thoughts of the past that I didn’t feel Courtland tug a little bit more of my hair. That was another thing I had never liked. He did that to me every time.
Although right now, I didn’t mind it. Courtland wasn’t pulling at it forcefully or painfully. He just winked at me and tugged at it playfully.
“Addy-babe? You okay?”
Shaking out of my reverie, I looked at Gram, who was looking back and forth from Courtland to me with a mischievous and knowing smile. Especially since he called me Addy-babe. I rolled my eyes at her and nodded yes to Courtland.
“Of course. Sorry.”
Gram nodded and said, “No worries dear. He was just saying how he met you. Y’all became such good friends as kids.”
I peeked up at Courtland and he was staring intently at me. He always did that. Just looked so deep inside that I didn’t know what to say most of the time.
As we ate, Courtland and Gram kept the conversation lively and entertaining as I only commented here or there. I loved hearing him speak. He had such a deep Texan drawl that turned my insides to mush. Gram wasn’t immune either, because she was blushing right along with me. She told him about Grandpa, about how he was more than her husband. He was her best friend and how he would be glad to know I had someone like Courtland in my life.
Did I really have him in my life? Maybe in my past, when things were clear-cut. But now? I didn’t think a few days could determine him being a stable part of it. His life was here in Granville. He said so himself that Joe was giving him the garage and there was nothing he wanted more. He deserved it, and so much more. Maybe while I was here, we could have a bit of fun, but that’s all it would be. Fun. Carefree, no strings attached. Fun.
I shouldn’t feel like this, but every time he touched me, I couldn’t resist. He made me feel so alive. In the moment. When he kissed me, I felt on fire for him. Maybe it was the lingering hormones of not being with a man for so long. Or my over use of my vibrator making me want something tangible like a real man. I wouldn’t think about anything else, but each moment. I knew Gram was hinting and I was hoping Courtland didn’t think anything by it. I needed him to not think anything by it. I might be helpless when he touched me, but I wasn’t going to fall for him. I couldn’t risk it.
Agh.
I seriously needed to stop thinking about it.
Because I think I already was.
“Then, we got arrested.”
Arrested? Shit. I didn’t tell Gram about that. She looked at me with astonishment.
“Really, Adelaide? You never told me about this! Hmm.”
I glared at Courtland with every amount of anger I had. Courtland shifted his hand to the nape of my neck and massaged the anger out of me. I could feel the tension rolling from me. I was still aggravated he blurted that out, but he just kneaded deeper and I groaned.
“Don’t worry. She just feels bad about it. That night wasn’t that memorable.”
My breath hitched loud enough that they both looked at me with raised eyebrows. Not memorable? It was the worst day and best night of my life. I never felt as free as when we were in that field, watching the airplanes. That night changed everything for me. Even though I hadn’t seen Courtland again, I knew
it was time I did something for me. To break out of the confines of my nightmare that was becoming my life and get away. When he left and abandoned, it gave me strength that if he could just pack up and go, so could I. Although I was only seventeen, no money, nothing to leave with except for a few meager belongings, I endured what I had to, to get my ass out of there.
I looked right at Courtland. He stared right back at me with clarity and intensity. Gram and the rest of the restaurant faded away into a dull blur.
“Was it? That’s a shame. And I don’t feel bad about that night. Maybe everything afterward, but never when I was with you. That had been perfect.”
Shit. I didn’t mean to say that much. To tell him how much that night saved me, but totally ruined me. I looked away, doing my best to not let him see the hurt in my eyes. He always could see what I was feeling. He kept his eyes on me, trying to get me to look up at him. So, I slowly started finished my food. When the waitress came by, Courtland still hadn’t taken his eyes off me. I looked up at Gram and she had this pleasant smile on her face.
Really? She mouthed, ‘what?’ to me and I just rolled my eyes. This was entertaining someone, at least.
The young girl who was serving us was waiting patiently, but I knew I didn’t want dessert. I didn’t care if Courtland wanted any and I wasn’t bothering Gram with it so I said as politely as I could, “We are finished, thank you. Separate checks, hers and mine together, please.”
“No.”
Don’t look. Don’t get ensnared by his intensity. Agh. I’m gonna look because I wanna glare at him and give’m a piece of my mind! And see his hotness.
“Excuse me?”
Then, he slipped the girl his card and said, “All of it.”
I scoffed and punched his arm. “You don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”
“I’m not Adelaide, but I’m the man at this table. I am not letting you pay for a meal. Not while I’m here I don’t know how men are in Georgia, but here, men take care of the ladies.”
