‘Hey,’ said the second wolf. ‘That’s not supposed to happen. I haven’t said when yet.’
To which, Tark strode forward, and this time his whole body passed through the barrier.
‘Oh, no!’ cried Wanda. ‘Will he be OK?’
The wolves pointed their guns at the point at which Tark had passed through, but then the first wolf motioned them to put their guns away.
‘Please, Mr Frog,’ said the first wolf. ‘Come back here – or we’ll be in trouble. I’ve seen what they do to sentries who fall asleep at their post, and it isn’t a pretty sight. Please come back!’
Tark did. ‘It’s an Anti-Matter Mirror, all right,’ he said. ‘Very retro. The ones in our galaxy are perhaps more elegant, but the effect is the same – matter can’t pass through until its molecules are excited by a negative ion shower.’
The wolves drew their guns again. ‘Then how come you passed through?’ demanded the first wolf.
‘Oh, that,’ said Tark. ‘Our scientists have perfected a negative ion cell that can be switched on and off at will for Griffs, at least. Very handy when you’re whisking through uncharted black hole regions, though I’d just as soon not test it myself. But it worked rather well here, didn’t it?’
‘Just as well that you had a security code,’ said the first wolf. ‘You’d better all pass through now – before our superiors start asking questions!’
Tark stepped through just as before, but the rest of the Crew were a bit uncertain.
‘What if there’s a time limit?’ said Number 12. ‘Tark’s very small, and I’m very big. What if I get stuck halfway in and halfway out?’
‘I’ll go next,’ Syd offered. He shot into the air like a helicopter and then tore straight for the barrier. Tiger couldn’t look, but when he opened his eyes again, there was no sign of Syd, just a couple of tail feathers floating to the ground.
‘Maybe it’s a trick,’ said Number 12. ‘Some sort of black hole on Earth that makes you disappear, but swallows you up so you don’t come through the other side.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ scoffed Wanda. ‘There’s no such thing as black holes on a planet. I’ll go next!’
And with that, she did.
That left just Tiger and Number 12.
‘If I go next,’ said Tiger. ‘Will you promise to come afterwards?’
‘Uh,’ stammered Number 12. ‘That is...’
‘You won’t, will you?’
Number 12 grimaced. ‘It might help if you could call to me... from the other side.’
‘Look at it this way,’ whispered Tiger, trying for a quick solution. ‘If you don’t come with me, NOW, it’ll be you on your own with those wolves. And they look rather hungry!’
Number 12 cast a worried eye at the wolves. ‘It’s a toss-up: black hole or sharp teeth, sharp teeth or black hole... Well, I suppose the black hole would be a quicker way to die, wouldn’t it?’
‘Without a doubt,’ said Tiger, getting a bit impatient. ‘Let’s go!’
In an instant, they were on the other side.
‘What took you so long?’ asked Tark.
Tiger was about to answer, but what he saw behind Tark made the fur on the back of his neck stand on end. Huge drills were at work boring into the ground and jets of steam and water were shooting up. But then teams of wolves went to work, capping the bores as soon as the drills were removed, setting pipes into place to channel the superheated water and steam into a building the size of a stadium, round, and several stories tall.
The crews of wolves were so busy that no one took notice, even of Number 12, as the Crew wandered wide-eyed toward the building. Until they got to the giant doorway. It had no handles. Closed circuit cameras were scanning the scene, so Tiger knew they’d probably already been spotted.
‘Unauthorized camel,’ a mechanical female voice called out. ‘State your name and business.’
Number 12 was about to speak, when the voice spoke again. ‘Unauthorized Blue-tongue Lizard. State your name and business!’
‘Well,’ muttered Wanda, ‘at least they got my species right!’
‘Unauthorized swamp frog, state your name and business.’
Tark was about to answer when he saw the hurt look on Tiger’s face.
‘They haven’t noticed me yet,’ said Tiger.
‘Or Syd,’ Tark reminded him.
‘He’s not a Member,’ Tiger whined.
Tark shook his head. ‘Will you just let me deal with this, before they pour boiling oil down on our heads?’
‘You’ve got your time zones mixed up,’ Wanda laughed. ‘They haven’t used boiling oil since the Middle Ages.’
‘I stand corrected,’ sighed Tark. ‘Now, can I just get on with this?’
‘Unauthorized cat,’ the voice continued. ‘State your---’
‘We are from Project Earth-mend,’ Tark called out. ‘We must speak to you urgently.’
There was a brief pause.
‘Please stand by,’ the voice said. ‘Your visit is important to us.’
‘Oh, dear,’ said Wanda. ‘I think we’ve been diverted to a call centre!’
‘Unauthorized Project Earth-mend,’ the voice said. ‘State your names and business.’
‘That’s it!’ Tark said, losing all patience.
With sharp laser beams from his toe, he shattered each one of the CCTV cameras, then began to burn a hole through the doorway. The surface melted away like butter.
‘Hardly worth the effort,’ Tark laughed, blowing on his toe, as the whole doorway caved in. ‘For such a top-secret place, you’d think they could have invested in at least a steel frame.’
Tiger expected they’d be met by a SWAT team. Instead, waiting on the other side, there was only a vehicle that looked very much like a recycled golf cart. Except it was pink. On board was a trim looking she-wolf in a pink uniform, wearing a badge.
‘Good morning,’ she said. ‘Welcome to Timber Wolf Central. My name’s Toni. I’ll be your guide today.’ She was trying hard not to notice the pool of plastic that had been the door seconds ago. ‘I’ll let you in on a secret,’ she whispered. ‘Once you get past the sentries outside the barrier, the rest is easy. The door is voice activated, so all you have to do is answer the question. Any answer will do, really. There are CCTV cameras everywhere, so we’ll know if you are about to do something naughty.’
‘Naughty?’ Wanda said. ‘You mean like Santa Claus deciding who’s naughty or nice?’
‘You still believe in Santa?’ said Toni. ‘How quaint!’
Wanda opened her mouth to say something but then thought better of it.
‘What is this place?’ Tark asked, gazing around.
The huge pipes from outside fed like spokes into a building inside that acted as a hub.
‘Welcome to Timber Wolf Central!’ the mechanical voice repeated.
‘Don’t mind that,’ Toni laughed. ‘The system is programmed to greet you by motion activation just in case your guide is a bit late.’
‘Love the color!’ said Syd. ‘I didn’t think wolves were into pink.’
‘They’re not,’ Toni said. ‘That was decided by the funding agency.’
‘Who is?’ Wanda asked.
Toni paused. ‘I’m not at liberty to reveal that.’
‘Oh, come on,’ begged Tiger, genetically curious. ‘We can keep a secret!’
‘Look, it’s my first day on the job,’ Toni said, lowering her voice. ‘And I’d like to keep it, if you don’t mind.’
‘OK,’ said Tark, letting his toe secretly scan her brain for some answers. If he discovered any, he didn’t let on.
‘Hop aboard,’ Toni said. ‘I’ll take you inside the Pod.’
The Pod, as she called it, was a powerhouse, with banks of generators, alternating with tanks Tiger guessed were used to store the steam and superheated water.
‘Thermal energy!’ Tark declared. ‘Ingenious!’
An official-looking wolf in a stainless steel hard hat met the
m as they got out of the cart. ‘Greetings,’ he said. ‘My name’s Slate. I’m foreman here. Toni’s looking after you?’
‘Yes,’ said Wanda. ‘But she hasn’t told us much about how all this came about.’
Slate gave them a crooked grin. ‘Need to know,’ he said. ‘That information is strictly need to know. If we don’t give her the juicy bits, she can’t pass them on to you.’
‘All this energy,’ Tark said. ‘What’s it for?’
Slate narrowed his eyes. ‘You’re pretty inquisitive – for a frog. Let’s just say we’re storing it for a... rainy day.’
‘But where?’ Tark said. ‘You’ll quickly run out of space in here, if you haven’t already.’
Slate winked. ‘Let’s just say storage is completely in hand.’ He paused, giving Tiger a wolf-to-cat look that made his skin feel all shivery.
‘Let me guess,’ said Tark. ‘A stack of connected pods – underground?’
Slate’s jaw dropped, revealing rather yellowed teeth.
‘You need a toothbrush,’ Wanda remarked. ‘Badly!’
‘Never mind that,’ snapped Slate. ‘How’d you... guess about our underground storage?’
Noticing that Toni had tuned into the sprung secret, he stiffened. ‘Coffee,’ he said to her. ‘With cream and two sugars. Anyone else?’
Tiger thought of asking for a hot chocolate with a dollop of double cream, but then he saw Wanda bristling at Slate treating Toni as his servant.
Since no one else spoke up Syd had to fill the gap. ‘No, thanks,’ he said. ‘Just keeps me awake at night.’
Lower lip stuck out, Toni rode off in her cart.
‘Well?’ Slate demanded. ‘How’d you know, frog?’
‘Lucky guess,’ Tark lied. ‘So how much storage is there?’
‘Ten pods the size of this one,’ said Slate.
‘That must have cost a fortune,’ said Tiger. ‘Where’d you get the money?’
Slate stared at Tiger even harder. ‘Let’s just say the timber wolf community has friends... in high places.’
‘How high exactly?’ asked Wanda.
‘From Outer Space?’ asked Tiger, catching her drift.
‘Possibly,’ said Slate.
Tark decided to cut to the chase with another quick scan of Slate’s memory banks.
‘I smell Mick at work,’ he said, his magic toe swelling to a dull red.
‘You know this guy?’ said Slate, amazed.
‘He’s no guy,’ Tark said. ‘He’s Commander of the Abell 2218 starship fleet, a species of robots bent on destroying the Earth – or at least all of the humans on it.’
‘H-he didn’t say anything about that,’ said Slate. ‘Just that he wanted to help us make a... fresh start, without human interference.’
‘But how would he get the money?’ said Number 12. ‘It must have taken millions to build all this!’
Slate shook his head. ‘No money passed hands. One morning we woke up, and it was just there – the building, the pods, everything.’
‘And you didn’t think that was a bit strange?’ asked Tark.
‘Wolves are a proud species,’ Slate said. ‘For years, humans hunted us down to the point of extinction. Only recently have they seen the error of their ways after they were overrun by rabbits. Suddenly we were on the endangered list. To be... protected now by those who once hated us.’ He pounded his chest three times. ‘Can you imagine what that must feel like?’
‘I can,’ said Number 12. ‘We camels were shipped into Australia, against our will. Then, when we escaped from being slaves to our humans, they put a bounty on our heads – we were called pests, to be exterminated!’
Number 12 was so stirred up by the memory that a loud fart escaped on the word ‘exterminated’. No one laughed, though Tiger tried to hold his breath without being too obvious.
Slate was so moved by Number 12’s words that he lifted a paw to him. ‘Brothers,’ he said. ‘Never thought I’d say that to a camel. Then again, I’ve never met a camel before!’
‘But there has to be a price for all this,’ Wanda insisted. ‘You don’t get anything for nothing these days, even from ETs!’
‘Thanks for that!’ Tark remarked.
‘We get to keep half the energy for our dens and the like,’ said Slate, ‘and Mick and his crew get the rest.’
‘I get it now,’ said Tark. ‘It’s possible that the Abell 2218s only want to destroy the humans and not the entire Earth. Their starships can easily adapt to thermal fuel, so this could be a refueling station for them!’
‘Seemed like a good deal at the time!’ Slate said, having his doubts now.
Then it hit Tiger. ‘Do you suppose they want to set up an Abell 2218 colony here on Earth?’
‘Not likely,’ declared Tark. ‘Your humidity here isn’t kind to robotic shells. Then again, Earth might be a launching pad for other Abell conquests.’
Toni rolled up just then with Slate’s coffee. Slate took one sip of it then stuck out his tongue. ‘This news has put me off coffee – for good,’ he said. ‘I’m strictly a green tea wolf from now on. But what can we do about Mick and his robots?’
‘You could tear up the deal,’ Judge Wanda said. ‘They got you to sign under false pretenses!’
Slade shook his head. ‘No, a timber wolf’s word is his bond. We can’t go back on it.’
‘You won’t have to,’ said Tark, with a wink. ‘There’s fuel, and then there’s fuel. Leave it with me!’
Tiger kept it to himself as they headed back to the barrier, but after they’d passed through it and were out of earshot of the timber wolf sentries, he just had to ask.
‘What can you do about the fuel?’ he asked Tark.
‘Nothing for the time being,’ Tark replied. ‘Mick’s bound to have bugged the place. I wouldn’t be surprised if that cute Toni wasn’t one of his clones. No wonder Slate sent her off for coffee. Maybe he knew but couldn’t say.’
‘So if you tamper with the fuel,’ Wanda said, ‘won’t the Abells know about it?’
‘Timing, my dear Wanda,’ Tark said. ‘The whole universe revolves around good timing!’
in which the Electrics
make a beeline for gold
As they came in for a landing, the ground under the Teleportation Module was white as white could be.
‘Ugh,’ cried Tiger. ‘Snow again! I hope it’ll be more like Spring once we get to the Big Apple!’
‘Air temperature is well above freezing,’ said Tark, pointing to the read-out on the control panel. ‘That’s not snow out there.’
Sure enough, as they stepped out of the Module, they could see that the ground was white, all right, but dry as a bone.
Syd bent down and pecked at it. ‘Salt!’ he declared. ‘This must be the—’
Just then, two cars whizzed past, barely missing the Teleportation Module, with the shock of air spinning Syd completely around several times.
The odd thing was that the cars didn’t make a sound as they raced by – they were completely silent.
‘Check out the sign,’ Wanda urged, after she’d scurried up Number 12’s leg for a bit of safety and a better view. ‘Over there, Number 12!’
Number 12 did as he was told – after looking both ways to be sure no more cars were coming.
A worn and faded sign said
Welcome to the Bonneville Salt Flats Speedway
‘Where are the lanes?’ Tiger said, as two more cars streaked past, even faster than the first pair.
‘Very interesting!’ Wanda said. ‘For those of us who bother to read explanations.’
Syd, who had been soaring above on a thermal, scouting for sights, came in for an awkward landing on Number 12’s head.
‘I wish you wouldn’t do that!’ Number 12 grumbled. ‘I am not your personal helipad.’
‘Oh, aren’t you?’ Syd chortled. ‘There’s a lake back there. A big lake!’
‘Which is why it’s called the Great Salt Lake,’ Wanda said, reading o
n. ‘Biggest natural lake west of the Mis-sis-sip-pi, whatever that is.’
‘That’s a river,’ Tiger nodded. ‘Chalk up another one for the Discovery Channel!’
More cars flashed past, this time one pair hot on the heels of the first. But again these cars were silent, too.
Tark frowned, and, with a flick of his magic toe, froze all four cars in mid-air, wheels still turning madly, banked them gently to one side then let them thud to the ground and tear off at a ninety degree angle to the invisible race track. Soon after, they saw a great splash as all four cars careened into the lake with four puffs of steam, not nearly as dramatic as a geyser, but still quite dramatic in their own right.
‘Let that be a lesson to them,’ said Tark, blowing on his toe as though it was a pistol. ‘The nerve of them buzzing our Teleportation Module!’
‘We can’t just leave them there!’ Wanda cried. ‘They might drown!’
‘I don’t think they’ve gone in completely,’ said Number 12, craning his neck. ‘I can still see the tops of the cars.’
They all hopped on board Number 12 for a camel gallop – which is not nearly as smooth as a horse gallop, but almost as swift in an emergency – to the edge of the lake. Sure enough all four cars were still bobbing above water from their windows up, and the drivers were scrambling out.
They were muttering words that Alexander regarded as inappropriate in nice company – “four letter words” as he called them.
‘I don’t think they’re happy campers,’ said Tiger.
‘Are they really Earthlings?’ Tark asked, pointing at their shiny suits and helmets.
‘I’ll check,’ said Syd, already airborne.
‘Of course they are,’ said Tiger. ‘Racing car drivers always wear safety gear like that.’
But Syd was already gone. And back in a matter of seconds.
‘I had to ask them twice,’ he explained. ‘The first time they were just rude.’
‘No wonder,’ said Wanda. ‘Those cars must cost a fortune!’
‘Oh, all right!’ said Tark. ‘I may have... over-reacted. Slightly.’
With gestures of his toe, each car rose out of the water in turn, then, much to everyone’s amazement, especially the drivers who had just trudged out of the water, they floated over to shore.
Tiger Takes the Big Apple Page 4
