As I sit here, forcing myself to eat the bland food, I grow more and more frustrated over my current situation. I haven’t done anything productive in days. I haven’t been able to meet with Ryker so that we can sneak into the library again, and I haven’t been out on a scouting mission to help people get to Toledo Lake. It’s time I did something on my own, instead of relying on Ryker.
After lunch, I grab a pair of shears and head over to the courtyard that lies between the Ambassadors’ apartment buildings, the Capitol, and the building Ryker lives in. It’s risky for me to be here, so close to the Capitol, but I pretend to trim shrubs like I should be doing. There are groups of Ambassadors chatting and eating lunch. People are moving around, coming and going. Some go into the Capitol and some go into the apartment buildings. I notice there are no guards flanking the apartment buildings, but there are also no landscape citizens entering. There are, however, cleaning citizens going into the building.
Cleaning citizens also wear green uniforms, but in a different shade. Maybe no one will notice if I sneak in. I trim shrubs as I make my way over there. I even pretend to inspect leaves for bugs. Once I make it next to the door, I slip into the building.
This building smells so clean. There is even a hint of a floral scent. The floors are so beautifully polished that the sun sparkles off of them. This floor is lined with apartment doors, though they are much more spaced out than in the citizen and Exalted dormitories. They must have huge living spaces. And each door is painted a cheery yellow while the walls are a soft blue. This is far from our gray existence.
I force myself out of this stupor, and hide off to the side of the entrance doors behind an indoor tree. I notice a stairwell to the left. It’s marked with a sign that reads “For emergency use only.” I think I’m about to have an emergency. I grin as I reach into the cleavage of my sports bra to retrieve the vial of sleeping powder. As soon as I get my fingers around it, I realize that I won’t have time to wait for it to work, nor do I have a drink to put it in for an Ambassador to consume.
I suppose I’ll have to do this the hard way. I wait for my prey . . . A man walks into the building. He heads for the elevator and is whisked away after he steps inside. Two more men enter the building before a woman enters. I snatch her immediately. I’m ashamed for this, but I blast her in the head with the handle of my garden shears. She falls unconscious instantly. She didn’t even struggle when I grabbed her.
I drag her into the stairwell and begin undressing her. This was a much easier task when Ryker was with me. After a long struggle, I get her dress and too small shoes on. I always feel silly in Ambassador clothing, but the colors are nice. This dress is teal. I prefer it to the eggplant color of the other dress I borrowed.
Before leaving the woman, I unscrew the top off the sleep liquid vial and place one drop on her tongue. This will definitely give me the time I need to get in and out of the library. If I had just left her there without the sleeping liquid, she could’ve woken up at any moment.
With a renewed sense of productivity, I head for the library in the Capitol. No one stares at me in the courtyard when I pass. An Exalted guard opens the door to the Capitol for me. Should I thank him? No, an Ambassador has never thanked me for anything. I walk past the male guard without a word.
The library is virtually empty, not like the last time I came here. They must all be eating lunch outside and in their cafeteria. I don’t have time to waste searching the rows and rows of books. I just need to ask someone for what I need. It shouldn’t be that unusual of a behavior. I hope.
“Excuse me, could you direct me to a book about the Ego Sum Creator?” I ask a male Ambassador. He appears to be in his fifties. He has kind eyes and a nice smile. That’s what drew me over to him. He smiled at me when our eyes met.
“Of course,” he answers. “Are you looking for a book on the history of the island, information about the production line, a log of the workers, a log of shipments, or something else?”
Um? I have no idea. I didn’t know there would be so many options. “Do you have basic history or overview? Something like that?”
“Sure. Sure.” The man glides over to the back wall of the library. He climbs up a few steps on the rolling ladder. When he finds the book he’s looking for, he reaches up to a high shelf. “Found it!” he exclaims.
“Thank you,” I say as he places the book in my hand. It has a purple cover and no title.
“Let me know if you need anything else.”
I drift off to a table and dive into the purple book filled with words that have been secret to the Exalted and citizens until now.
CHAPTER THIRTY
The purple book is indeed about the Ego Sum Creator. The first thing I stop on is a detailed drawing that spreads across two pages. It shows the lone island that is just off the coast of Texas. A factory sits in the middle. Surrounding the facility are two smaller buildings titled: citizen dormitory and citizen cafeteria. Next to them is an even smaller building titled: Exalted living quarters. These must all be very small buildings and there must not be many people on the tiny island.
I flip the pages, stopping on page with the chapter title: Emotion Inhibitors. This is it. I skim through the words on the pages. Pre-war drugs such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) were modified for use on the Exalted and citizens. They are now manufactured on the island. A handful of citizens and Exalted live there. They make a continuous supply for the three Republics to keep their people under control. I flip some more. I can’t find anywhere that it says why they need to keep us under control. There are only instructions and diagrams for making the Pump, notes on how it subdues our emotions, and details about the inside of the E.S.C. building.
This is frustrating. I want to ask the man for more books, but I’m out of time. The female Ambassador in the stairwell will be waking up soon. I need to put her back in her clothes and get back to gardening.
I reluctantly return the book to where it belongs on the high shelf. “Goodbye and thank you for your help,” I chirp as I wave to the male Ambassador. He returns my wave and smiles as I go.
As I walk through the Capitol, I try to glide across the floor. I’m not sure how they walk like this all the time—and these too small shoes are killing my feet.
Just as I’m about to walk out the door, Ryker walks in. I can see questions in his eyes and a subtle shift in his body language. He’s shocked to see me. I know he wants to ask me what I’m doing dressed like an Ambassador in the Capitol, but he can’t. He has to keep walking like nothing is wrong—like he doesn’t recognize me.
When he passes next to me, his arm brushes mine. Electricity shoots up my arm and flames into my face. My cheeks give away the nature of his subtle touch. The brief moment seems like an eternity lived in a world of emotional limbo. But to the world around us, the moment goes unnoticed.
Sadly, when the moment is over, Ryker’s electric touch is gone as well. I must keep moving like I haven’t been affected by an Exalted. A smile is forced onto my lips and I exaggerate the swing of my arms as I walk. Outside, the sun is warm on my already warm face. I pretend to be happy and at ease, while on the inside I am a static charged woman.
Ethan. Ethan. Ethan.
Do your job!
Stupid heart!
Once I make it to the Ambassador apartment building, I hurriedly scamper to the stairwell door. I pull the door open, ready to swap out my clothes with the unconscious woman. But what I find is an empty space.
Oh no.
I try to listen for movement above the pounding of my worried heart. Where is she? I don’t hear a thing. There are no feet climbing the stairs—an Ambassador wouldn’t take the stairs anyway.
I hurry back out into the hallway. It’s quiet as well. I glance out the windows bordering the front doors. Surely, I would’ve seen an almost-naked woman stumbling around. I search the halls. Nothing is out of place. No! I should’ve waited to do this with Ryker. I’m such an idiot!
CHA
PTER THIRTY-ONE
I frantically press the elevator button. A bell dings and the reflective doors slide open, revealing an empty space—just like the stairwell where I left the unconscious female Ambassador.
I press the button for the next floor and then bang the back of my head against the elevator wall as I wait for it to ascend. It takes forever to go up one floor. Ding! The doors slide open. I peek my head out. The only thing I see is a man strolling toward the elevator. I curse under my breath as I pound on the close-door button.
The man calls, “Hold the elevator, please!”
“Oh, sorry!” I call in return as the doors slide closed once again.
I bang my head on the wall again as the metal box takes me to the next level. This time when I peek out of the elevator doors, I see a woman in her bra and panties stumbling down the brightly painted hallway. She reaches a door on the left and fights with the handle.
The flowing dress hinders me as I sprint toward the woman, shoes in hand. I have to make it to her before she turns around and sees my face. She is still disoriented, so I stand a good chance.
I pick up the skirt of the dress and run faster, my feet padding lightly on the tiled floor. The woman’s door finally opens, and she falls into the apartment. When I reach her, she is on her hands and knees, trying to get to her feet. I quickly flip one of the shoes around in my hand and slam its heel down on the back of her head. The hit was only hard enough to knock her out. She’ll be fine in a few minutes. The woman’s hands fall out from under her as she slumps to the furry floor. What is that? Her floor is like synthetic animal fur or a towel. It’s so strange.
The woman’s limp body is easy to drag deeper into the apartment. Guilt is such an unpleasant feeling. I wish it didn’t exist. I would be so much more efficient as an Exalted if I still didn’t feel it . . . but I would also be less human.
Before I decide what to do with the Ambassador, I take a good look around. The walls are purple and ceiling is painted a sunny yellow. Her sofa is turquoise with matching curtains hanging around the single window. The bright colors make my head spin. I’m not used to seeing so many variations of color in such a small space or anywhere. I shake the nauseating feeling off and move on.
What’s important is that the woman doesn’t suspect any foul play. If I put her in bed, maybe she will think it was all a bad dream. No one witnessed her running through the halls nearly naked. They won’t believe her.
I fling her over my shoulder and carry her to her bedroom. Her bed has a brightly patterned blanket and pillows. I fold down the blanket and lay her on the bed. Before covering her up, I find a long shirt to cover her body.
Her dress and shoes . . . I nearly forget to take them off. After neatly putting them away in her closet, I realize that I don’t have my own clothes. They must still be in the stairwell—another complication that could’ve been avoided.
I check the hallway before sprinting to the stairwell. I make it halfway down the hall when the elevator dings. My eyes bulge as I realize I won’t make it to the stairway door in time. Without much of a choice, I coolly slip into a random apartment and quietly shut the door. I hold my breath as I listen for the occupants of the apartment to scream. No such noise comes, so I push my ear against the door, trying to hear movement beyond the barrier.
There is shuffling, humming, and finally a door shutting. I don’t waste any time. I fly out of the room and into the stairwell at the end of the hall. Whew. I let out the breath I’d been holding. My back rests against the cool door as I take a moment to calm myself.
As I descend the stairs two at a time, I breathe deeply and collect my thoughts. My green uniform and things are under the bottom flight of stairs where I left them. The woman must have really been out of it not to take the clothes. That’s a good sign.
The comfortable uniform slides onto my body with ease. I cringe when I find myself searching for my knife belt. I miss it. I do, however, grab the gardening shears and vial of sleeping liquid. Now, I must head outside.
No one notices me. It’s ridiculous. Are citizens that much beneath them? My blood boils. I’m also upset about not being able to choose my future. While I did choose to return to the Republic, I am being forced into being United with Ethan. I am being forced into pretending to be an emotionless being. I am being forced into only being allowed to see my parents once a week. I hate it! I angrily snip away pieces of perfectly manicured shrubs, leaving huge empty spots in them.
Even at dinnertime, while I eat my meal, I continue to brood. I need to get my negative energy out. So, I decide to go for a run. That always seems to clear my head. I start toward the elevator as if to go to my room. Before I reach it, I turn and slip into the stairwell. Citizens don’t exercise, so I have to stay hidden. I’m always hiding these days.
I run up and down the stairs until my dinner threatens to reappear and my legs and mind are satisfied. If I am to be doomed to this fate, then I will have to make this a regular occurrence. I straighten myself up before entering the hallway of my floor. Claire is already in bed when I enter our small, plain room. She doesn’t say anything as I walk past her to the bathroom. I shower, re-dress, climb in bed, and wait for her to fall asleep so I can sneak out.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
The stolen Exalted shirt paired with my green citizen pants gets me some strange glances, as I walk through the grounds of the Republic. Fortunately, no one stops me. I walk with confidence. I look each Exalted in the eye when I pass them. I walk right into Ryker’s building, take the elevator up to his floor, and stride down his hallway. His door is in front of me in no time. I take a death breath, readying myself for the questions that are sure to come regarding my afternoon adventures.
My fingers curl around the black doorknob. Slowly, I turn it. What I see before me is harrowing.
Ryker is searching the cabinets in the tiny kitchenette. He pauses and lifts his face up to look at me when I enter. His eyes are bloodshot and he’s sweating. “What’s wrong?” I ask as I rush over to his side. This is more than being worried about my previous odd behavior.
“Lily’s gone,” he answers, his voice strained. He’s on the verge of tears.
“What do you mean she’s gone?”
“I mean, when I got back today, she was gone.”
“Lily?” I call out. “Did you check under the bed?” I rush into his bedroom. The space beneath the bed is empty. I peek in his bathroom. It’s empty as well. “Lily?”
“She’s not here, Mena. I’ve looked everywhere . . . several times.”
“Where could she be? Do you think she snuck out?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I honestly don’t know. She knew we were leaving tomorrow. Why would she do that?”
“Ryker. What do we do?” I flop down onto the couch. Tears slide out of my eyes at an uncontrollable pace.
He comes to sit next to me. He rests his hand on my thigh. “I don’t know. Maybe she will come back. Maybe she’s in the building. I’ll go out and look for her now. She’ll turn up. Don’t worry. Now, you have to clean up your face and get back to your dorm. You can’t help me looking like that. I’ll find you tomorrow, okay?”
I nod. “Okay. And we can talk about it later, but you need to know that I found out the island is where they make the Pump. It’s called the Ego Sum Creator or E.S.C. ”
“Okay.”
“Please find her, Ryker,” I whisper to him. I feel so weak. There are too many things that are out of my control. A little girl’s life is at risk and I have to scurry back to my dorm. Ryker is right. I can’t do anything now. I am a citizen with green pants. I was lucky to make it here without being stopped.
Reluctantly, I stand to leave. Ryker stops me before I reach the door. He grabs my hand and pulls me toward him. “I’ll find her, Mena,” he says as he looks into my eyes. I stop breathing when he leans closer and brings his soft lips to my cheek. He lingers there until I pull away.
“Thank you,” I whisper through a deep blush.
I slip out of his hold and then out of his apartment. It’s becoming too difficult to resist the attraction between us. I pick up my pace as I try to escape.
When I reach my building, I take off the black shirt and shove it under my green one. Once in bed, I tuck it back under my mattress. I don’t sleep the entire night.
Breakfast. Gardening. Lunch. Gardening. Dinner. Dorm.
Ryker never comes to see me. I am a ball of nerves. I am on the verge of cracking. When I sneak out to Ryker’s apartment, I find that it’s empty. I sit on his couch and fall into a daze. It’s strange the way things can change in a matter of minutes or hours. Everything I thought I knew is no longer. The world is a different place than it was several weeks ago, days ago, or even a few hours ago. I doze off at some point, not wanting to return to my bed in the citizen dormitory just yet.
I wake before dawn when I hear a door shut down the hall. After concluding that Ryker never returned during the night, I hurry back to my rightful room. I pretend to be asleep when Claire wakes up.
As I lie there with my eyes shut tight, I wonder if this is my fault? Did Dr. Fredericks find Lily? Was it because of me? Has someone figured out what we have been doing? We have both done a lot of things that are wrong to him, but how does he know?
I go along with my day as scheduled. Sean works near me today. We prune the shrubs beside the Ambassadors’ apartment building, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ryker passing by. Everything is already well maintained here, but so is it everywhere else.
The day passes without a word or a sighting of Ryker.
The following day, I am called to Dr. Fredericks’ office from the gardens. Sean didn’t work near me today, so I’m easily able to keep my face focused as I follow after the Exalted guard. I start to get nervous as soon as I see the blood-red hallway.
Denounced (Exalted Trilogy: Book 2) Page 14
