Alex reacted quickly. He took her into his arms as soon as a tear fell. “I’m so sorry I asked.” He held her as long as she let him. “I promise I’ll never hurt you.” He breathed deeply to hide how he seethed within. I’m gonna kill him. She feared everything, and that wasn’t a good way to live.
Danielle fought the tears hard. He didn’t need to know what she had been through all her life. She wouldn’t burden him with her problems. She had to keep them hidden like always. Although that was hard to do when he asked so many questions. I just have to learn not to answer them.
“Do you wanna go back inside?” Alex asked, when it seemed like she was calm.
She looked at him. “Yes. Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For just being my friend. I really need one.”
He squeezed her tightly. “You’re welcome. Thanks for being mine, too.”
* * *
Several hours later, Alex stood in Danielle’s doorway again. He didn’t want the night to end yet. They had grown closer with her revelation. He scanned the hallway and made sure they were safe.
“Why don’t we just watch a movie?” he suggested. He hoped she would let him hold her again.
Danielle feared that her luck couldn’t last that long. “I can’t.” She was sure at any moment, Brian would call, or one of his friends would show up. She tried to close the door, but Alex held it open.
“You don’t have to be afraid. I can handle Brian or any of his fucking friends!”
She took a step back. Alex’s eyes had filled with fury. “Please…” Her eyes opened wide. She irrationally feared that he was violent as well.
“Shit.” He didn’t mean to frighten her. “I’m sorry. You have to know, I won’t hurt you.”
Her eyes met his again. The rage had been replaced with concern. She sighed softly. He was different. Her fear had played tricks with her mind. I still need to stay away from him. Brian will kill me.
“I don’t think it’s fair you’re so restricted.” He reached out for her, but she pulled back even more. “I won’t let them hurt you, either. I promise.”
She knew better. Brian and his friends were sneaky.
* * *
When Brian was in California for three weeks once, she went out with a girlfriend to a club. She didn’t dance with one man. Before she opened the front door of their house, someone grabbed her and brought her to the backyard. When he put her down, she recognized him. It was Brian’s brother, Jeff. He had followed her.
He whispered in her ear, “Brian says I can have a piece of you because you disobeyed him.” Then he bent her over a table. His hand covered her mouth while she screamed.
* * *
Danielle’s entire body shuddered while she hugged herself. She couldn’t take that again.
Damn it! I did it again! Alex thought to himself. So many things brought on a memory for her, and it was never a good one. “Please just trust me,” he softly begged her.
She looked up at him. She did trust him, for the most part. “You don’t get it,” she explained. “He has eyes everywhere. He always knows.” Tears fell. “They listen to him. They do what he wants them to.” She shook as the same night ran through her mind. “I don’t want it again.”
He was thoroughly confused. It sounded like she meant something specific, but he had no clue what. He took a chance and quickly hugged her. “I’ll never hurt you, Danielle. I won’t.”
Terrified of discovery, she pushed him away, but he held her tight. “Alex, no. Let me go. Please.”
“You need to be held,” he whispered. “Tell me what you’re thinking. Please. I wanna help you through this.”
No one but him had ever offered to help her. She suddenly clung to him. She wanted him to rid her of the memories. “His brother…” She inhaled shakily, and then sobbed.
“What’d he do to you?” He gritted his teeth. Rage boiled within. Her body told him the guy had done something unspeakable to her. The look in her eyes told him she feared him as much as Brian. “He hit you?”
She whimpered, and then quietly replied, “Yes.”
“But he did something else, too. Didn’t he?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t say more. The feeling of pain as his hand connected with her face returned. Suddenly, she collapsed, hysterical. I should’ve never said anything. It overwhelmed her.
Alex got down on the floor with her. “It’s not your fault.” He cradled her in his arms. What else could he say? She had practically admitted her boyfriend’s brother raped her.
“What’s wrong?” Marie’s voice startled them both. She knelt on the floor next to them. “She seemed OK at the party.”
After he had kissed Danielle’s head, Alex looked up. “I can’t say.”
Marie stroked Danielle’s hair. “It’s OK. We’re both here for you.” She knew that it had something to do with Brian. Her hatred of him ran deep. She had seen scars on Danielle’s legs from whippings and assumed Brian caused them. “He’s gone now, so don’t worry.” She didn’t know about the watchful eyes on campus.
“Can you close the door?” Alex asked Marie. He worried someone might see them, too. When she had closed it, he lifted Danielle and laid her on her bed, still in his arms. “It’s all over now,” he assured her. “I’m right here.”
Danielle was so distraught, she didn’t protest. Her hands gripped his shirt tightly while she cried. More memories surfaced. Her life was full of horrible scenes: whippings, punishments and lash-outs. So much pain.
Then there was a sharp knock on the door. Danielle stiffened and sat up while Alex’s eyes opened wide. “He can’t find you.” She whimpered.
“Shh, it’s OK. I’ll hide again.” Alex kissed her cheek, and then got up. Just as he opened the closet, he saw Marie at the door. “No. Not yet,” he said as quietly as possible while he jumped inside.
Marie shot him a confused look and ignored him. She smiled when she had the door open. “Hey.”
“Alex in here?” Logan looked Marie up and down, with a sly expression.
Alex sighed with relief. “Holy shit. You scared me.”
Danielle was also glad it was only Logan. “You have to go.” She looked at Alex. “Please, before something happens.”
He knew what she meant and decided she was right. It wasn’t worth the risk until he knew exactly what he was up against. He brushed her hair back from her face with his fingers, and then lifted her chin. “Knock on the wall if you need me. OK?”
Danielle nodded and lay back down. Marie followed Logan. As soon as the room was empty, she cried herself to sleep. She knew she could never live like they did.
Chapter 7
On a Saturday, two weeks later, Alex excitedly knocked on Danielle and Marie’s door. He was about to leave for his first real football game. Coach P. had offered him the third-string running back spot. No way could he turn it down. However, he had no idea how he would break it to his mother. She would freak out.
Marie opened the door and hugged him. “This is so cool!” She couldn't wait to see him in tight football pants, but she hid her desire from Danielle. It had become apparent that Danielle really liked Alex. He was so much better for her than Brian. “Good luck!”
Danielle got off her bed. She had been writing an English paper. Alex was happier than ever. With a grin, she threw her arms around him and whispered, “Be careful.”
“I will. Meet me at the locker room after. Please?”
She closed her eyes for a few seconds. “I can’t.”
“Please try.” He hated that she was still afraid.
“OK.”
He held her with his eyes closed. Ever since the party, they had spent at least an hour together every day, not counting history class. His feelings for her continued to grow. He hid them as best he could. She couldn't deal with it, and he wasn't sure how to express how he truly felt about her. No one affected him like she did.
Only once had Diego caught them together. It was just before t
he class they shared. Alex started a conversation with him to throw him off. Alex didn’t tell her he had threatened most of Brian’s other friends to back off. It was the least he could do to ease her nerves.
Danielle didn’t want to let Alex go. He had been so patient with her those two weeks. She had the space she needed to deal with her discovery about Brian and the memories that it dredged up. He lent a supporting hand or shoulder to cry on at times. Her life up until then had been a lie. She didn’t realize there was something better out there for her.
They talked about Brian only once. She admitted why she was in so much pain the first day of class. She didn’t tell the whole story; only that he spanked and choked her. It upset Alex anyway. He let her lean on him and cry when she got overwhelmed. She never met a man who understood.
“I gotta go.” Alex wished he didn’t have to pull away, but he stepped back anyway.
Danielle let the memory go and looked up. “Wait.” She took the cross off her neck. “This’ll keep you safe.” She put it around his neck as tears fell from her eyes.
Her grandmother gave it to her the first time she witnessed Brian drag her from a room to punish her. Grammie told her it would keep her alive, no matter how badly Brian treated her. She didn’t believe it that day. More pain was not imaginable. Nevertheless, she had survived almost three years of abuse from him.
Alex touched the charm and smiled at her. “Thank you. No one’s ever done anything like that for me.” He put his fingers through her hair. “I’ll be careful.” Then he leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you after the game.”
She watched him walk down the hall. Gary met him halfway to the stairs.
“Why don’t you go out with him?” Marie quietly asked. “I know you want to.”
Danielle closed the door and turned to her. “I’m already taken.”
“You mean that dick, Brian?” She scowled. “He’s a phony. I can see right through him. I bet he never lets you do anything you want to.” When she didn’t get a response, she knew she stumbled upon something. “Is he the one who strangled you?”
Danielle looked down. “You noticed?”
“Your whole damn neck was bruised!” Marie was pissed off at that excuse for a man. “You can’t let him abuse you.” She softened her voice. “Alex really cares about you. Give him a chance. Let him show you what life is like with a real man.”
Danielle wanted to but didn’t know how to let the fear go. “I’m scared.”
“I know.” Marie felt guilty. She hugged her. “All you do is look over your shoulder. That’s not living.”
A knock at the door ended the exchange. Marie answered it and let Logan in. He looked her up and down, subtly. Well, at least he thought it was subtle. Danielle caught it. She smiled sure Marie had a slight crush on him as well.
“Are we going to lunch first or what?” The tension obvious, Logan asked, “What’d I miss?” He looked from Marie to Danielle and wondered what happened.
Marie grabbed her purse. “Nothing. We’re ready. Right, Danielle?”
“Yes.” Danielle picked up her bag as well then followed Marie. No one balked when she was with her and Logan.
As Danielle sat in the back, she watched Marie rub Logan’s thigh. It made her feel lonely. Alex made her feel special, but it wasn’t the same. She couldn’t take the chance of Brian’s friends seeing her attraction to him.
When they got to a red light, Marie tousled Logan’s dark brown hair. It was much shorter than Alex’s was, but she loved to play with it. He turned, and she winked at him. She didn’t have a date that weekend and wanted him to substitute.
Logan was perfectly willing just to have sex with her, although he hoped for more. He had heard Marie was a wild one in bed. If that were remotely true, he would hang onto her. Her eyes told him he would most definitely find out soon. He flashed a smile in reply, and then winked.
Marie suppressed a giggle. His blue eyes were almost the color of the sky on a clear day. They really stood out with his olive complexion. It made him real cute, but he was a bit more timid than she went for. He was Alex’s roommate, though. That might have benefits. She didn’t know if guys talked about sex, but she had hope. Alex had quite the reputation at school.
Danielle’s phone rang. She looked at it, then tapped Logan’s shoulder. They all knew that meant to be quiet. “Hello.”
“Hey, Dani.” Brian smiled widely. He missed her voice. “What are you doing?”
Her hand shook. “Nothing.”
He had called just the day before and grilled her about her activities. She thought he had multiple friends that watched her. His calm voice confused her. Since he had been gone, on most calls his tone was laced with anger.
“Everyone says you’ve been just studying and keeping to yourself.” Brian was glad she hadn’t stepped outside her boundaries. “How do you like school?”
She calmed herself with a few deep breaths, terrified he would know she wasn’t alone. “It’s good. The teachers are great.”
Logan suddenly stopped short and cringed. He looked at Marie and mouthed, “I’m sorry.” There was no way to avoid it. The car in front of them had done the same.
“Are you in a car?” Brian tried to hold his temper back.
Danielle closed her eyes. “Marie’s taking me to get groceries.”
“Oh, OK.” He had to allow her to go to the store but wished she had a different friend. Although, it could be worse. “Make sure you use the Visa. The American Express was turned off.”
Marie looked back and saw the expression on Danielle’s face. That meant he didn’t buy the story. She wished she could convince her to ignore his calls. Sometimes she cried for hours afterward.
“I will,” Danielle replied. “I have to put the phone down, so I can grab my bag and stuff.”
Brian looked at the clock. It was midnight. No wonder I’m tired. “It’s fine. I need to get some sleep anyway. I love you, Dani.”
“Love you, too.” She dared not forget to say that.
Marie waited several minutes after Danielle had put away her phone before she asked, “What did he say?”
“He told me what credit card to use.” She sniffled. He tracked her that way as well. She was as trapped as ever, like he wanted.
Logan quickly turned right. “That means we have to stop at a store and buy some stuff. That way he believes your story.”
Danielle sighed. “Yeah, I guess.” She hated that they were in the middle of the insanity.
“Hey.” Marie reached back and patted her knee. “We understand. Don’t worry.”
The trip to the store didn’t make them late for the game, but the traffic around the stadium almost did. There had been two accidents close to the stadium entrance, so everything had bottlenecked.
* * *
“When will Alex play?” Danielle asked when the game was in the second quarter. She didn’t understand football.
Logan leaned down to her. He sat between the two girls at the home stadium. “He might not. Third-string means there are two other guys who play more than he does.”
“But you said Will had the flu,” Marie reminded him.
His eyebrows rose. “Oh yeah, so he’s kinda second-string today. We should see him.”
Suddenly the crowd cheered. Danielle did too, along with her friends but had no idea why. “What happened?”
“We got first down.” Marie understood a lot more than she did. “We keep the ball,” she explained.
“Oh, OK.”
Danielle sat down and tried to read the players shirts. She knew a few by their numbers. Alex’s was 69, which always made her giggle. The thought of that sexual position made her recall his penis. She hadn’t seen it again, but she had felt it a few times when he held her.
By the third quarter, Danielle was bored. The school’s team was losing, and she was unsure what were good or bad plays. Then everyone around them stood up and made sounds that told her someone got hurt. She was sure it
wasn’t Alex because she had not seen him yet.
Logan watched closely. Their halfback had been tackled, and several opposing players jumped on the pile. As the referees helped break up the melee, one was left sprawled on his back. The halfback still held the ball. When they tried to help him up, he grabbed his ankle.
Marie smiled when they carried him off the field. She quietly cheered. That was sort of good news.
“How can you be happy?” Danielle asked, angry. “That’s one of our guys.”
Logan looked at her and shouted, “That was the halfback! Alex gets to play!”
As soon as the game got underway again, Alex ran on the field. He was nervous as hell, but the cheers helped somewhat. Just before the play started, he looked up to where he thought Danielle was and smiled.
Danielle held her breath when she realized Alex had the ball. She was terrified he would get hurt. She grabbed Logan’s jacket as someone on the opposing team moved toward him. Then she screamed and covered her eyes when he hit the ground.
“He’s alright. Relax,” Logan assured her.
Eyes lifted, Danielle saw he was right. Alex was up. “Oh thank God!”
Alex brushed himself off and jumped up and down a few times to shake off the mistake. He had found a blind spot with the helmet on. Something he wouldn’t do again. He was used to playing without equipment.
“I’m good,” he told one of his teammates and got back into position. Absently, he touched Danielle’s necklace. “This is for you, babe.” Even though she wasn’t his girlfriend, he knew one day she would be.
Logan jumped up again as Alex ran for the end zone with the ball. “Go!” he screamed. Then he grabbed Danielle and stood her up. “Look!”
She followed his finger and saw Alex run across the field. She could barely see his jersey, but it had to be him. She cringed as someone almost knocked him over, but he spun around and avoided them. In seconds, he had scored his first touchdown of his college career and pushed their team ahead by three.
from Pain to Pleasure (Gainesville Book 1) Page 6
