CHAPTER EIGHT
THINGS BEGAN TO move rapidly, once Sally had made up her mind to accompany Mrs. Chesfield to her home. The Matron, informed of Sally's decision, merely raised her eyebrows and dien proceeded to make out a- new rota for die time during which die Sister would be absent. "What we have to dedde is what to do about Nurse Frensham," she told Sally, once all die odier arrangements were made satisfactorily. "I want your honest opinion, Sister. Shall I be justified in allowing Nurse Frensham to stay on under dlis new doctor's supervision, or would you advise me to make different plans? I know itjs difficult for you to speak openly, since Nurse is your friend, but I dunk I should point out to you diat in a matter of dlis kind, personal feelings must be left out entirely. I have heard from one or two sources diat Nurse Frensham has become radier careless again, of late. Is this true?" Sally hesitated, deddedly disturbed by the question. Janie had been more dian careless, certainly, but Sally had the suspidon diat the girl had been upset by something, probably by the sight of hersdf and Laurence Chesfield when diey kissed one" another. Yet, if she recommended die nurse now, and her successor found die girl to be unreliable and annoying, how could she justify herself widi the Matron? In any case, was it fair, in such a case, to hide the true facts? And then again, if she spoke frankly was it not possible that Janie, in her disappointment, might disdose die true state of affairs between Sister and Doctor? Salty dismissed this idea as unworthy and then, realizing that she must make some answer to the Matron, who was watching her thoughtfully, took refuge in a half-toidi. 135 "I've always believed that Nurse Frensham will one day surprise us all, Matron," she said with deliberate brightness. "She is rather awkward at times, as you know, but this tendency is more than made up for by her wonderful gift with children. I have found her invaluable in this capacity " Matron pursed her lips momentarily. "Excellent though it may be to have a good playmate for the children. Sister," she said dryly, "that is not exactly the career Nurse Frensham has decided to follow, is it? I wish to know her capacities as an assistant to a strange doctor at the hospital. I'd appreciate the truth, please." Salty flushed miserably and, without realizing it, she began to fidget with her belt, a. habit which Matron always deplored in her staff. Seeing the woman's frown of disapproval, Sally's distress deepened. "I can only repeat what I have said, Matron," she blurted out at last. "I diink Nurse Frensham is most useful in Clinic work, especially where at least fifty per cent of our patients are children. She could stay on, surety, until the new doctor has formed his own opinion?" The Matron allowed herself a fleeting smile. "In other words, you will not commit yourself, Sister?" she said mildly, "but you leave me no option but to draw my own conclusions. Thank you." Sally, miserably uncertain of what sort of a case she had made out for Janie, set about making her own plans for the changeover. She would not be away long, but even so there were plenty of details to arrange. Mrs. Grant, hearing of the decision, sniffed in an offended manner. "I've known you weren't happy here for some time past " she began trucently, but Salty stopped her by the very simple expedient of putting her arms about the large figure and planting a kiss on the tip of Mrs. Grant's nose."That's fib number one, and you know it," she declared firmly. "I'm as happy here as I could be anywhere on earth, and I shall come running back to you the moment my job is done.", Mrs. Grant was not so easily mollified. She regarded Salty'critically. 136 "Saying that you're as happy here as you could be anywhere is merely begging the question," she said obstinately If you ask my opinion you wouldn't be particularly happy anywhere, as you are feeling at present. You're laying up troubles for yourself, my girl take my word for that!" Salty drew back, her good humor vanishing. Mrs. Grant's words hit far too dose to die truth for her comfort. "What exactly is diat supposed to mean?" she asked defiantly. "I'm merely taking on a case of private nursing nothing particularly unusual about that, you know. Plenty of nurses at Merry's are sent home with convalescent patients." i "As I very-, well know," Mrs. Grant agreed dourly, "but not because they happen to be in love with the patient's husband, miss!" Sally's color faded, and her eyes narrowed in anger. "That's unforgivable " she began in a low, tense voice. "If anybody else had dared to say that to me, Grantie " "It's not my words that are unforgivable," the woman said, unmoved by Sally's anger. "You're the one who is doing wrong, my girl. And if nobody else will dare to say it to you, dien it's time I did. If your father or mother were alive they'd have plenty to say on the subject, I haven't a doubt!" "You can leave them out of the discussion," Salty said furiously. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Grant, but if that is the way you feel about me, then I shall think of finding lodgings elsewhere when I finish this case. I have never been so insulted " "Since when was it an insult to speak the truth?" Mrs. Grant asked, all ..her bitterness vanishing to be replaced by a rather weary pity. "My dear girl, why don't you stop all this nonsense whilst there's still time? Try to put yourself in this young wife's place " She broke off, both of them suddenly realizing the implications of the innocently spoken words of advice. For a. moment they stared at one another, Sally shocked -and angry, Mrs. Grant defiant and upset. Then, with a shrug, the older woman turned away. 137 "Maybe that's what you're trying to do " she said, below her breath. But Sally caught the words, and her cheeks flamed. "That's all I needed," she said fiercely. "I'll not come back, Grantie you can take that as settled, here and now. As a matter of fact, I think I'U live in at the hospital, if it can be arranged. There may be a vacancy now." Mrs. Grant turned. She had grown to love the girl who had come to her when she was young, lonely and afraid of life. She still loved her, but she knew better than to try to convince Sally against her own will. "There will be," she said quietly, an odd dignity on her portly figure. "Little Janie Frensham was asking if I knew of a vacancy for her, anywhere in the town. If Matron agrees, you two can change places. Won't be the first time you've done that, you two " "Janie Frensham come here?" Sally's voice was sharp with surprise. "But I had no idea she wished to leave the hospital hostel. She always seemed happy there " Mrs. Grant raised her brows significantly. "Come to that, you always seemed happy here. Sally so there's no reason to be surprised when others change their mind, is there? Inddentalty, it's not long since you told me you intended to leave Marry's now you have apparently decided to move in to the hospital itself. You can scarcely be too critical, of young Janie under die drcumstances, can you?" Sally turned away, feeling suddenly unable to argue any more. Now that she had offered her notice so peremptorily and so impulsively she would have given anything to retract. But there was a stiff obstinacy about her which prevented her from apologizing, or even trying to explain her actions and words. If Mrs. Grant liked to assume that she was going to the Chesfields' home just to be near Larry, then let her think it. It wasn't true, of course. . . She felt herself cringe, at her own pitiable self-deception. What had happened to her of late, that she must be for ever finding excuses for herself, putting up a case on her own behalf? Could she persuade even herself that in her going to the Chesfields' home diere was no motive other than helping Joan Chesfield back to health? 138 True, it had been a sudden rush of pity for the girl that had urged her to accept the invitation, but had there been no Laurence to back up the request would she have gone? Supposing Joan had been an ordinary stranger, leaving the hospital, and needing a nurse, would she have dropped her Clinic work and gone? Of course she would not. Upstairs in her own room, she set about her preparation listlessly, restlessly aware'that sBe could no longer face up to the truth, but must be content to drift along with the tide of her emotions, following whatever lead they suggested no matter where she might be led in consequence. When Joan was pronounced fit to leave Merry's, Matron sent for Salty in, order to acquaint her with the date of departure. "H-will probably be for a week only," she said, after a few preliminary remarks. "No doubt Mr. Chesfield will be in constant'touch with me regarding your employment with them. I am engaging the services of one of the Kenson Hospital clinic sisters to help the new doctor during your absence. I have met her, and she seems thoroughly c
apable. Fortunately the Matron of the Kenson is in the extraordinary position of being fully staffed at the moment, and has agreed to lend Sister for a week. I shall feel far more easy now." Sally stared, taken aback by this unexpected pronouncement. "But surely " she began impetuously, "will there be room for three to work in the surgery. Matron? We find it rather a tight fit on Thursdays' when Mr. Chesfield visits us, so with three there every day " "There will not be three every day. Nurse Frensham asked yesterday if she might be transferred back to her old duties." Sally frowned uncertainly. "But I don't understand," she began uncertainly. "Matron, it wasn't anything I said, was it? I thought I made it perfectly clear that I was satisfied with Janie with Nurse Frensham I would be the last person to suggest a transfer " v TIT l. -- J'J -, _-_
ntire day spent working with him again filled her with infinite happiness and her face, when she greeted her patient, hid none of her impatience to be away. Joan looked at her thoughtfully, then smiled with ari odd wistfulness. "All right," she said quizzically. "You don't need to ask, Sally. You go. No honestly I want you to, my dear. I have several things I want to do, as a matter of fact, and I'll be glad of the chance." "What kind of things?" Salty demanded, instantly alert. "You know you mustn't overtax yourself, don't you? Mr. Chesfield would never forgive me if I left you now, and didn't make sure you wouldn't take advantage of my absence." Joan moved impatiently in the bed, the old familiar petulence marring the beauty of her features. "Oh, shut up!" she said inelegantly. "Can't you forget, even for five minutes, that you're a hospital nurse? I'm all right, I'm telling you to go so smother that confounded conscience of yours and go and enjoy yourself my dear girl!" "If you're quite sure, Mrs. Chesfield," Sally said, still not quite certain, "I promise not to be late back, and I expect Mr. 'Chesfield will drive me down. I'll arrange everything with the cook before I go, and you won't forget your rest after lunch, will you." Joan nodded, amused by Sally's solicitude. When the girl turned to go, Joan called her name impulsively. Salty turned at once, a smile on her lips "What is it? Something I've forgotten?" Joan shook her head. " 148 "Just as a matter of interest, my dear," she asked lightly, "are you in love with Larry?" For a mc-'-ient Sally stared at her speechlessly. Then, as the full impact of the words srtuck her, she frowned angrily. "Mrs. Chesfield " she began indignandy. Joan, with an indulgent chuckle, smoothed the delicate lace at her neck. "Mrs. Chesfield!" she mimicked wickedly. "How dare you! My dear if you knew how funny you look, standing there like an avenging angel. Why shouldn't you be in love with Larry, if you want to be? He's very sweet, very handsome, and oh, so charming when he talks about what is, after all, your favorite topic of conversation! They say that all nurses fall in love with a handsome doctor at least once during their career ... is it true in your case, darling?" ' : Sally swallowed painfully, wondering just how she could escape from those mocking eyes, those taunting words. She managed to smile. "Don't worry,' Mrs. Chesfield " she managed, keeping her voice as casual as possible, "you have nothing to fear how could we poor nurses hope to- vie with your beauty and attractiveness? I'm in love with my work didn't you know that? You've accused me often enough goodness knows!" "I'm not worrying," Joan Chesfield said calmly. "As a matter of fact I happen to know that you've never been in love but take my advice, Salty, my pet, and when you do fall for somebody, make quite sure he's in love with you. And don't say I didn't warn you!" Salty laughed rather forcedly, wondering just how long she could endure this nightmare scene. Joan, apparently dismissing the matter from her mind, waved her hand in dismissal. "Run along, you silly darling don't ever keep the illustrious Laurence Chesfield waiting! And Sally " Sally turned at once, surprised by the sudden urgency in the girl's voice, "bring him back with you, if you can. Please?" Sally murmured something, and went hastily''from the room, afraid to trust herself further. Outside, she leaned 149 against the door, frightened by the turmoil of her own thoughts, troubled by the hammering of her heart. What did it all mean? What crazy ideas did the unpredictable Joan have in her head now? If she suspected Sally's love for her husband, would she make trouble or was she really as uncaring as her words would seem to imply? She tried to dismiss the matter from her mind and, once in the train, she turned her'thoughts determinedly to the tasks ahead! Although she had been away only a few days, she almost ran up the steps from the station, and along the road towards the hospital. The gatekeeper hailed her merrily, and she waved to him in sudden abandon, uncaring of what impression she might make on those already on duty. She felt carefree and happy, almost like a girl going to her first dance, she told herself indulgently. It was so good to be back, so very good! The first person she saw as she entered the Main Hall was Alan Trenton. She saw his start of surprise as she entered, and she smiled eagerly, hurrying towards him. "Yes, it's really me!" she laughed, as he still stared at her incredulously. "Why the amazement? I haven't been away so long, have I?" He turned away from the- inquiry desk, where he had been talking to one of the receptionists, and looked at 'her thoughtfully. "Of course it's Thursday," he remarked slowly, "I'd forgotten. I suppose Chesfield asked you to come up for the Clinic. How's his wife?" She told herself it was unreasonable to think his tone was tinged with contempt. Why on earth should it be? It was the most natural question in the world, especially since Mrs. Chesfield had been, until recently, his patient. "Practically well," she told him readily, after her first instinctive hesitation, "I often wonder why I'm there " "So do I," he said simply. "But is she really well? She's a frail little creature, you know, for all her energy and vivacity. Why does she want you there. Sally?" ."Why 'why, I suppose because she thinks I help her," she offered lamely, "I think'she is lonely, somehow absurd though that may seem " 150 "Absurd?" he repeated quietly, watching her intently. ' "I don't think it at all absurd. Sally. You know, as well as I do, that she is one of the loneliest women we've ever met." She stared at him, shaken and upset. "What on earth do you mean?" she asked sharply. "I never heard such nonsense! She has everything she wants a wonderful husband, a beautiful home, friends " His eyes did not waver from her face. "And everything you want, too, Salty," he said quietly so quietly that at first she persuaded herself that she must have mistaken his words. Not even Alan would dare to say such a thing would so openly accuse her of waiting to step into another woman's shoes! She was dimly aware that she was trembling, and that she felt strangely sick. She did not notice Alan move, but when she felt his hand 'on her arm she shook it off violently, hating his nearness, even repulsed by his apology. "Please forgive me," he said anxiously, "I seem to have a positive genius for hurting you. Sally which is strange, when you think of how I once " He broke off as he' saw her face brighten. Turning, he saw Chesfield coming in at the door and immediately his face changed. "I'll see you later, possibly," he said formally. "Have a. good day. Sister. And remember me to Mrs. Chesfield when you see her.""Salty " Chesfield's voice was eager. "'So you made it, after all!""But you expected me," she objected dubiously, "didn't you? I made sure Mrs. Chesfield didn't mind, and left full instructions. You think she'll be al right?" "Of course. I couldn't imagine the Thursday Clinic without you it has become just as much your project as mine, you know. Oh, my dear " he put a hand, fleetingty, on her arm, "if you knew what it means to me to have you here!" She glanced anxiously around, hoping that nobody was witnessing this extraordinary exuberant greeting from one of the most celebrated doctors to a mere. Sister! The switchboard girl, who had quite obviously witnessed the 151 ' whole scene, turned away at once, not quite managing to hide her smile. Sally colored unhappily, but then, remembering the gist of Larry's words, she felt her spirits rise. "Shall we go, then?" she asked brightly. "Our patients will no doubt be ready." The day passed smoothly and happily for Sally. After the first rather awkward moment, when Chesfield explained Sally's presence to the new' doctor and Sister, they accepted her calmly enough, and even suggested leaving the field clear for the two of. them, whilst they attended to other matters. When they had gone, Laurence grinned boyishly at Sally, his eyes teasing her gaily. "Alone at last!" he whispered, striking a dramatic pose. "Salty if you knew how I longed for this moment!" , Then, as they laughed together, he glanced at his watch and suggested he might see the first patient. From then onwards she responded to his mood, giving her entire at. tention to each examination, secretly marvelling at his flawless diagnosis. Once when a patient went out, she turned to him with an eager suggestion as to treatment, and he listened with his usual courtesy, then as she finished he touched her hand gently. "Salty why did I have to meet you too late?" he asked quietly. She drew her hand away, startled and afraid. This was impossible, she thought wildly, it could not go on. Now that his every word became significant, his every glance a caress, she must end the whole thing, go out of his life for ever. She owed that much to Joan . . . She
tried to push all such "thoughts away from her and presently they continued the Clinic as if he"had never spoken the fateful words. Towards the end of the afternoon they came to a triumphant end of a successful day. Larry leaned back in his chair, heaved a sigh of relief, and smiled at Sally in a conspiratorial mood. which she found both endearing and upsetting. To break the suddenly awkward .silence, she suggested sending for tea and over the shared meal they discussed the day's cases with enthusiasm and interest, both enjoying die other's comments and the delicate spar of wits. When they could prolong their stay ,at the hospital no longer, without becoming c6nspicuous, Larry offered to drive her down to his home in his 152 car. She uad expected ihis to iidppen, but the realization of her expectations made a fitting crown to what seemed to have been a perfect day. They did not talk much on the way down but there seemed to her no need for words to express the deep contentment they felt one with the other. Before he got out of the car Larry turned to her and said simply: "Thank you, my dear, for everything." She looked at him in some bewilderment, and tried to laugh. "You make it sound like a farewell speech," she pro" tested jokingly, "you're not giving me my notice, are you?" He did not smile in return. Indeed, she did not remember seeing him so serious before. "I cannot expect you to stay much longer," he said quietly, "and it isn't quite the same, at the hospital. It has been wonderful, having you here in my house. Sally." For a moment she stared at him, afraid to speak, lest she might betray her fedings for him. She longed for him to take her in his arms, even whilst she prayed that he would not. When he got out of die car and came round to her side to help her out, she was frightened to find herself almost too weaK and shaky to stand. He held her hand tightly for a moment, then turned towards the house. "Come along, Sally- " he began, and dien stopped, his '"ace darkening, changing so much that she could have ried out. A servant was running down the drive towards ,iem,, and Sally felt her heart lurch sickeningly. "What is it?" Larry's voice was curt to the point of rudeness. "For God's sake, tell me what is wrong?" The girl stopped, obviously taken aback by the man's manner."I'm sorry, sir," she said awkwardly, "it was just that cook asked me to come before you put the car away. Mrs. Chesfield isn't back yet, and cook thought you might like to pop down to the station to meet her. We didn't want her to go, sir, but she seemed determined, and said she would be back before you and Nurse " Sally looked in alarm at Larry, then at the girl. "Where did she go?" 153 The girl shrugged her shoulders, refusing to admit Sally's right to be as curt as die master himself. "To London, I diink," she said churlishly. "How would I know?" Larry swore, forcibly. Then, without a word to the girl, he motioned Sally back into die car and drove off towards the station, his face that of a stranger. She sat stiffly in die seat, her former mood of happy relaxation gone corn. pletely, her whole being filled widi foreboding. "I might have known," she heard Larry murmur angrily. "She probably had it all planned for the moment my back was turned. She probably counted on upsetting us " "But, Laurence " she used his name impulsively, past caring about formality now, "she may have gone to friends. I'm sure she wouldn't upset us deliberately. I begged her to rest, told her you wished it " He swore again, somewhat to her startled surprise. "That would be the finest reason in the world, for my wife," he said exasperatedty. "Oh, Salty where's it all going to end? I can't go on like this much longer. And she knows it, confound her!" Joan was at the station when they arrived there, grey with weariness, but ready to mock at their anger. ' "I wanted to go, so I went," she said flippantly, when they were driving back to the house. "I'm not exactly a child darling, whatever you and your charming little nurse think." "You can leave Sister out of this," Larry snapped ang. rity. "Where have you been?"' "To London." "But in heaven's name, why?" demanded Larry, driving furiously through the darkness. "Do you have to make a fool of yourself every day of the week, just to annoy me? We employ a nurse to look after you, and what happens? The moment her back is turned you go gallivanting off to London, undoing all the good that has been achieved, tiring yourself to death, and making me a laughing-stock with everybody. That never occurred to you, I suppose? I happen to be a doctor, in case you've forgotten and after a 154 serious operation my wife is seen playing around in Lon in whilst her nurse is at the hospital " "Playing around with die doctor," Joan murmured sweetly, from the back seat. "Fair's fair, darling we must all have our litde amusements, mustn't we?" Salty sank back into her seat, closing her eyes. "Let this end," she found herself 'praying silently, her hands clasp. m and unclasping in her agitation. "This is something I can't bear so please let it end now now. Don't let her say any more, please dear God, let this awful minute end " . f But it did not end. They bickered all the way back to the house and then, safely indoors they went on and on, hurling remarks at one another like two angry, bewildered children, whilst Sally stood by, helpless, completely out of her depth. She was torn between her strange pity for this unpredictable woman, and her love for this whitefaced, angry man. She hated them both for their power to hurt and humiliate her, yet loved them bodi because they were hurt and unhappy. The conflict of her emotions was too much for her, and when a friend arrived unexpectedly she felt a great relief, thinking that now, indeed, they must surely stop their wrangling. The friend, however, a tall, rather hard-faced woman, obviously summed up the situation at a glance. "Not again?", she asked boredly sinking into a chair. "My dear Joan, you'll wear yourself into an old woman if you're not careful. Stop charging around like an angry bull in a china, shop and tell me what die row's about this time." Laurence turned to look at Salty, and she bit back a cry of dismay at the pitiful despair on his face. She wanted to go to him, to put her arms about him, and beg him not to mind so much. It was so childish, so unnecessary, and his work needed his strength tomorrow the strength which was being wasted on this outrageous scene. "All right, Sister," he said quietly, "you must be tired. Go and rest a little ask Mary to make you some coffee. Would you like some, Mrs. Kenning?" Sally escaped at last, and went up to her room. She felt physically ill, and was glad of die strong coffee which 155 Mary had made for her. She could hear the voices in the oom downstairs, still angry and terse, and presently she heard the visitor go away again. She heard Joan's voice more shrill than ever and dien, so suddenly that she started up in alarm, there was absolute silence. She went out on to the landing, but diere was still no sound. She saw the kitchen door open and cook came into the hall, hesitating before the lounge door, her elderly face uncertain. On a sudden impulse Sally went down a few stairs and called to her softly. "There's no need to disturb them now," she said with the unconscious authority she used at hospital "I can tell you what they will need for dinner." The cook swung round, her usually pleasant face al-most purple widi indignation. She glared up at Sally and dien, arms akimbo, she said tersely: "You'll do no such thing, thank you, miss! I'm taking orders from nobody but the mistress, understand? And you don't happen to be mistress here . . . yet!" She swung round and stamped back down towards the kitchen, leaving Salty standing on the stairs, staring after her in blank horror. She did not know how long she stood there, with a feeling of utter numbness in her limbs. But presently she turned and went up the stairs, slowly, like a very sick person. Back in her room she sat on her bed and looked into a future which was suddenly terrifyingly lonely, and dark. A shiver passed over her, and then another. Suddenly she twisted round and flung herself down on the bed, and began to sob great, shuddering sobs which shook her slender frame. If only there was someone to whom she could turn, somebody who would tell her what to do! She had to go away, of that she was quite certain. After those awful words, from that hitherto kindly woman, how could she endure another night in this house? She should never have come, of course but now, being here, how could she suddenly pack up and leave? If only her mother or father were there to help her! She felt, in that moment, as she had felt on the night she had lost them, when she had been so near death herself. 156 There had been nobody then . . . except Laurence. The thought stilled her sobbing, kept her still with remembrance. It had
been his hand which had brought her back then .iow it was because of him that she must go away. He had saved her life but for -what? In order that she might love him, hopelessly and wrongly? She could not even turn to him now -" "There isn't anybody," she whispered. "Nobody at all . . ." She was almost asleep from sheer exhaustion when she remembered. "If ever you need help," Alan Trenton had said, not So very long ago, "promise me you'll come to me. Sally. Promise me you'll come to me!" She forced herself to get up from the bed. She tidied herself carefully, even to getting out a fresh cap and putting it on. She studied herself in the mirror, making sure that every detail of her uniform was perfect. Then, reinforced by the correctness and dignity of her hospital garb she went downstairs to offer her termination of the case to Mr. and Mrs. Chesfield. When that was done, she thought dazedly, she would go to Alan Trenton, andjisk him what she must do next. 157
The Thursday clinic Page 10
