by Adams, Renee
I feel his words breaking down the wall around my wounded heart. For what feels like the first time, through my hiccupped breaths from crying, I feel as if I’m finally taking a deep breath. The first real breath that I have taken since I woke up in that hospital room. Tears stream down my face, and they are welcome tears. They are tears of relief, tears of sadness, these are healing tears. Letting all of the bad, the pain and the heartache out.
Damian comes out at this most inopportune time, demanding to know why I’m crying. When I finally look up at him, I see the worry etched into his face. I look towards the kitchen window to see Olivia and Kim with their faces plastered to the glass, smiling.
“Calm down, D, everything is fine.”
“Then why the fuck are you crying?”
“Happy tears, D, happy tears. Now hug me, because I can’t imagine a more amazing big brother than you. Thank you for everything you have done for me.”
Hesitantly he walks over with his arms out. Shock is all over his face, his eyebrows have practically reached his hair. As soon as he reaches me he won’t put his arms around me until I do it. When I get my arms around him I feel his shoulders shaking. “Don’t cry, D. I will be okay, it’s okay,” I whisper into his ear. He whispers back, “I never knew you before the prison, but I have heard stories. Enough stories to know that I’ve missed you. You’re the sister I never had. Gage really seems to like you. Give him a chance.”
All I can do is nod through my tears. The girls still have their faces plastered on the window, but instead of smiles and giggles, they are crying, too. I wave them out here, and they come barreling through the door. Olivia about knocks me over with her belly. They hug me and together we cry fat, cathartic tears.
“Why is everyone crying? Sheesh, so, Gage, you said you wanted to see some of my wrestlers!” I guess being a nine-year-old, you don’t care that everyone is a basket case.
“Yeah, buddy, what ya got?”
Together they go off in boy land, with Jack sitting next to Gage talking something about finishing moves and championship belts.
Damian fires up the grill and the rest of the cookout goes off without a hitch. It’s good food, good company, and good beer. Although I cut myself off after two because I haven’t drank in so long. When I get ready to go, I ask Gage if he needs a ride and he happily accepts. Once he is settled in my car, nervous energy takes hold of my insides. He seems just as nervous as I am.
It’s now or never, Cori. Just invite him to your house. See where this goes. I’m scared, petrified really. I have no idea what to expect. What if he doesn’t find me attractive once he sees my flaws?
“Want to come to my house?” There I got it out, the ball is in his court.
“Only if you want me to. Cori, if we give us a try I want you to be without a doubt comfortable before we do anything. I would be happy just to sit and talk to you.”
This man, I wish I could kiss him right now, just for him wanting to go at my own pace. Pulling up to my house I feel the urge to vomit. The food I ate at the cookout has become a rock in the pit of my stomach. “Cori, relax. Baby, I would just be happy to talk to you all night. I want to know you better. I think that together we could help the other heal. But, baby, I gotta get to know you. You stay constantly on my mind.”
I don’t even look to see if he needs help getting out of the car. He kept his crutches sitting up in his lap during the short drive. I just get out and unlock my door. Maybe it’s inconsiderate of me not to help, but sadly it’s the furthest thing on my mind.
When he finally gets inside he stands in my doorway, this hulking, hunched over figure standing there. He seems unsure of where to go. Or he’s just trying to ascertain my reaction to him being in my personal space.
“You can sit anywhere you like, want something to drink?” I throw over my shoulder as I walk into the kitchen.
“Come here, Cori.”
A worry sets in at the unease of his voice. I rush around the corner of the kitchen hoping nothing is wrong. He sees the question in my eyes and uses his crutches to come toward me. I instinctively back up. As he keeps coming toward me, my back hits the wall. I’m surprising myself by not freaking out. Normally if anyone comes at me I would cower or shake. But not this time, not with this man. This time, I stare straight into those green eyes, holding my ground until he comes a few inches within my face. I have to bend my head back because he is so tall.
“Am I making you nervous?” His voice is husky and deep.
“N-n-no, you’re good.” I have to clear my throat, I guess the anticipation of the kiss has made my voice sound thick and needy.
He stares straight into my eyes, almost like he is looking for an answer to some unspoken question. Apparently satisfied with whatever my eyes said, he dips his head and kisses me. Feather soft, no tongue, just a dry peck. But it’s a hundred times more than that to me.
To me, it was possibilities, endless possibilities. It’s a kiss that gives me hope for the future. It didn’t make me scream or hide, or even shake in a bad way. Gage made me feel again.
I can die a happy man now. Just the touch of her lips on mine, even though it was just a peck, was everything. She let me kiss her, and I couldn’t be more excited. When she broke down at the cookout I was scared… scared of what it would mean when she finally spoke. I think she just needed to hear that everyone is going to be there for her no matter what. That we all knew she was tougher than she gives herself credit for.
I look deep into her eyes, seeing the clarity in them almost brings me to my knees. My crutches are pinching under my arm, but I would gladly stand here a lifetime just to see her. Is this love? Is this what it feels like? Two people coming together in an understanding of what the other needs? She knows what I need, now, I need her.
“Do you, um, do you want to sit down, maybe watch a movie?” She’s so nervous she actually kind of looks like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Anywhere you are is where I want to be.”
Sitting down on her couch I feel warm for what feels like the first time in forever. Not a temperature warm, but a warmness that only comes about when you’re home. Like this is the place I’m meant to be…I’m meant to be here with this woman.
She wrings her hands in an effort to quell some of her nerves, and it really is cute. She’s trying not to touch me, and it reminds me of middle school. I feel like I should fake a yawn to put my arm around her.
“What do you want to watch?”
“Oh, um, I really don’t watch much TV. Except trashy reality junk. So I dunno what is really on these days.”
“It’s okay. If you want you can come sit next to me.”
She slowly, hesitantly almost slides next to me. I can feel the nervous energy flowing off of her in waves. It pisses me off in a way because I hate what he has done to her. He has effectively gotten into her head and given her the feeling of her life being ruined. It’s my job now to show her that it’s not over. Hell, it has only begun.
I put my arm around her just to see what she’ll do. It’s crazy, my palms are sweating, and I’m nervous, too. Shit, I wasn’t even this nervous when I lost my virginity. She tenses at first but doesn’t ask me to remove it, and a few minutes later she seems completely fine, I don’t want to rush her into anything. I am moving kind of fast, I’m hoping that she is ok with it.
“Gage, I know you’re looking for a place to stay one you leave rehab. Damian said you’re having a hard time finding a place that can accommodate your needs. I have an extra room, so maybe you might want to stay here, I mean if that’s okay with you?”
Wow, that puts me on the spot. I’ve never lived with a girl, especially not a girl I wanted to fuck. But maybe that will make her feel better if I’m here. I wonder how Damian will feel about this situation. He and Olivia are practically family to Cori, and I know the feeling is mutual.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I’m just being picky on where I want to live. I can still
find a place.”
“No, it’s fine. It would probably make me feel better, too. But do you have any issues with cats because I was thinking of getting one?”
Oh great, a fucking cat. I have never been a cat guy, I’m more of a giant dog kind of guy. But I will sacrifice for her.
“Oh no, nothing against cats.”
“That’s good.”
“Well, I’m supposed to get my leg this week, they have already done the measuring and socket fit and stuff, so I’ll be free to leave rehab once that’s done. So you still have time to change your mind.”
She cracks a faint smile and nods. Her smile is amazing, even though it is a little droopy, but I couldn’t care less. That droopiness shows character.
“Well, I’m getting tired, do you, um, want to come to bed with me? I can’t promise that I will be ok with you being in bed with me, but I want to try if you do.”
“Are you sure this isn’t moving too fast, Cori? I mean don’t get me wrong, sleeping next to you sounds like heaven. But we haven’t even been on a proper first date or anything, I just don’t want you to think that I am expecting anything because I’m not.” I hope she understands this.
“Oh no, Gage, I get it, I do. This is moving so fast, but I feel more comfortable with you than I thought I would. Hell, I kept my hand on you the other day and fell in your lap and I didn’t want to claw my skin off. I don’t know that I will be able to have you in my space or in my bed, but I know that I want to. Maybe the moving fast is a good thing for me, shaking me from my normal life.”
Instant hard on. This girl can make or break me, and she doesn’t even know it. I want this girl with a passion that I’ve never felt from any of the bar whores I’ve taken to bed.
“We will try, but if you can’t please just let me know, and I will happily take the couch. This is your call, you say what and when. We go at your pace, always.”
I grab my crutches, and it’s a little bit of a struggle to get up off the couch. I haven’t sat on a real couch that wasn’t vinyl since before I went to the sandbox. So this is a little tricky, and I lose my footing some. Cori is right there and grabs me before I can land on my ass. Embarrassment floods me. I haven’t fallen in front of her, and it pisses me off. She senses my mood shift and instantly tries to stop it.
“Gage, it’s okay, really. You want to help me out, well let me help you out.”
“Thanks,” it’s all I can grumble out. I’m trying not to let this ruin us.
Once she has helped me stand, I let her lead the way to her room. You would think all of this is awkward, but it’s not. This feels like a dance we have danced a thousand times. Once we get in her room, I watch her as she goes through her routine of getting ready for bed. The entire time I’m trying to calm down the raging hard on in my pants.
“Would it be ok if I took off my pants? It’s uncomfortable to sleep in jeans.”
She seems to mull it over before whispering a faint ‘yes’. Now comes the hard part, the part that I wasn’t prepared for. Nobody has really seen me without my pants on, especially not a girl I’m interested in. A little bit of self-doubt and trepidation sets in, which isn’t something I’m used to. Sensing my nervousness, Cori comes right over and sits next to me and grabs my hand, holding it in both of hers.
I’m in awe of this woman. Never has someone ever put me at ease the way she does. As I try to stand up and get them off while balancing a crutch under my arm, her little hand reaches out.
“Here, let me do it.” With shaky hands, she unsnaps the button, and I feel as if my dick is going to spring out and say ‘here I am!’ As she slides my pants down, she surprises me and kisses my belly while looking into my eyes. She must see the question in my eyes because she nods to me.
After getting my pants off, my boxer briefs have a big gap at the top where my dick is tenting it so much. I’m holding myself back, wanting to let her go at her pace. But it’s hard because I’m ready to take charge and show her how good I can make her feel.
“Lay down, Cori. I want to show you that this can be good.”
Hesitation floods her eyes and her face, but she never takes her eyes off of mine. Slowly but surely she lays down. She’s wearing a t-shirt and shorts so I start at the bottom and work my way up. Her feet are small and delicate and I start by massaging her arches. She nearly bucks off the bed when I knead deep, and the noises she makes has me almost coming in my shorts.
Working my way up her calves, I start by licking up the bone to her knees. Her squirming and moans let me know I’m doing a good job. Once I get to her thighs they are already quivering. Showing attention to both, I kiss, lick, and suck my way up to her slit. Licking the crease of her legs through her shorts has her scratching my hair with her fingernails. Hooking my fingers into her shorts and panties, I slowly slide them down her legs, I kiss all the way down her legs as I am pulling them down.
As I’m making my way back up, I can smell her desire, salty and sweet. When I finally look up into her eyes, I see that they are hooded, barely open, and she’s breathing heavily. Looking straight at her so she can see me enjoying myself, I run my tongue up her slit. I cannot contain the ‘mmmm’ that comes out of my mouth. She tastes like salted caramel, and it has become my most favorite flavor in the world. Using my thumb to spread her apart, I take her clit into my mouth and suck, watching her face as euphoria sets in. Using my teeth to nibble a bit, she digs her nails into my head, her thighs start to quiver and the guttural sounds leaving her mouth tells me she’s enjoying herself. Dipping my finger into her, she clamps down before finally relaxing, and I get a feel for how swollen and tight she is. In the back of my mind, I wonder if I’m going to hurt her. Not that I’m a foot long or anything, I just don’t want to cause any trauma.
Adding a second finger, I move in and out, letting her get a feel for me. Using my tongue, I lap up her juices, letting them coat my chin, all the while she scrapes her fingernails through my short hair. Listening to her mewl and feeling her buck underneath me, I know she’s close. Using my tongue and my teeth I grab a hold of her clit and she is gone. Sailing through her orgasm like a boat in rough seas, I move my fingers more to draw out the rest of her orgasm. Not letting her calm down for a bit, I make my way to her stomach, pulling her shirt up with my teeth. Dipping my tongue into her belly button, she seems to still be enjoying her orgasm aftershocks. As I keep going up, I keep her eyes on me, finally reaching the peaks of her nipples. Circling them with my mouth I notice raised skin all around. It stops me in my ministrations. Looking up at her, I see she’s completely and totally uncomfortable.
“Gage,” she bites out through clenched teeth.
“No, Cori, it makes you, you. Let me start to replace the bad memories with the good. You deserve the good.”
With tears in her eyes, she just shakes her head yes. I’m feeling anything but disgust for her. I feel an overwhelming feeling of nurture. This woman is flawed, but she’s not damaged goods. Wounded but not broken, and it will be my mission in life to help heal those wounds. I may not be able to take them away, but I am able to place a band aid over them until they knit themselves back together.
After showing her gorgeous breasts ample love, I kiss my way to her mouth. Coming to her lips, I lick along the seams, asking for entrance. When she finally gives it, I plunge my tongue in like a man without water. She grabs ahold of the back of my head and kisses me with purpose, with meaning. She hooks her legs around my waist and I cannot wait to finally be inside her. I never enjoyed making out before, hell, the bar whores I would bring home I wouldn’t even touch their mouths. But this, this I could do forever. Just hold her in my arms and kiss her. To see her eyes flash with passion. She hooks her toes into the back of my boxers, and I stop.
Sitting up on my knees, it’s a bit awkward with balancing, but I have to be sure that she wants this. I would never go too far to where she couldn’t handle anything. Forcing myself upon someone has never been my thing.
“Are you sure
?” I want her to say the words, to confirm out loud what I already know.
“Yes, I don’t want it to be anybody but you.”
Her eyes are clear, her skin is flushed, and she has a slight sheen of sweat coating her body. Her scars are pinker than normal. She has never looked more gorgeous. She paws at my boxer briefs, trying to get them off, but is having a hard time because my dick is getting caught. When she gets them down around my thighs she starts to lower herself.
“No, we have a lifetime for that. This is for you. This is about you.”
She looks disappointed, her lower lip jutting out slightly in a small pout. “But I want to.”
After getting the condom that I carry out of my wallet, I lay back and let her do what she wants. She kisses on my tattoos and circles her tongue around my nipples. When she reaches the ridges of my abs, she licks each one. Nobody has ever taken such time and care to show my body love. When she reaches my dick, her eyes widen at its size and length.
She grabs the shaft with her hand I about come on the spot. That would have been embarrassing, but it’s been a long time since a woman has touched me.
She kisses my tip and then sucks the head. It’s a deep, heady feeling to have this slow torture going on. Her mouth is incredibly warm. Her tongue licks down my shaft and it makes me buck my hips up. When she finally forms a suction and takes as much of me as she can, I moan. Threading my fingers into her hair, I gather the strands into a ponytail because I want to see every part of her mouth as she sucks me in and out. I don’t want her hair in the way. Then she does this trick, and I about lose my shit. I can’t even describe how it feels other than heaven.
“Stop, sweetheart, or you’re going to have me embarrassing myself.”
