Trying to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of her moving out for good, I saved a few rental options. I’d go see her tonight and we could go look together tomorrow. This was how I could help her.
And if I made sure she was nearby, living on a decent street, all the better.
Brynn and Amelia burst out of the duplex and ran down the front steps. They were followed closely by Hannah, then Zoe.
“What are they doing?” Cooper asked with a laugh.
“Something freaked them out,” Chase said.
I let out a breath, my shoulders relaxing a little. Good. If something was wrong, maybe I wouldn’t have to worry about Hannah deciding she wanted to live here.
The girls stood out in front of the duplex for a while. We were too far away to really tell what was going on. I glanced up every so often, but kept looking for better rentals. I found a great little house only half a mile from Salishan—not far from Roland and Zoe’s. Why hadn’t Zoe brought her to this one? It was perfect.
“Uh-oh,” Cooper said. “Incoming.”
“What?” I glanced up from my phone to find Hannah walking toward the truck.
No, she wasn’t walking. Her arms swung with her quick stride and I could practically hear her feet pounding against the pavement.
Oh, shit.
I got out of the truck to intercept her. “Hannah.”
“Don’t even start with me,” she snapped, pointing a finger at my face. “Why are you following me?”
“Cooper said you were looking for a place to live and it was by the shitty gas station and I just…” Fuck. What was I supposed to say? “I wanted to make sure you didn’t make a mistake.”
“A mistake? What the hell are you talking about?”
“You can’t live there,” I said, gesturing to the building behind her.
“I know I can’t live there, but I don’t need you sitting outside with these two, watching me like a creeper, to tell me that.”
“I’m sorry. I was just worried about you.”
She ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m so frustrated with you right now.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I glanced back at the truck, but it was empty. Cooper and Chase had wandered over to Amelia and Brynn. Perfect. “Can we talk?”
“Yes,” she said. “Finally.”
I let her in the passenger side door, then got in on the driver’s side, tossing the empty M&M wrapper on the floor.
She folded her hands in her lap and looked over at me expectantly.
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “I know I reacted badly when you told me you were pregnant. It felt like it came out of nowhere and yeah, it freaked me out. But I should have handled it better.”
“Thank you.”
“But I can’t deal with you living over here in some shitty building like that.” I brought out my phone and swiped to the rental. “I found this. It’s a house, not an apartment, so you’d have more privacy. It’s closer to Salishan, and to Zoe. I don’t know why she didn’t show you this one in the first place.”
She blinked at me, her lips parted, but didn’t say anything.
“If you’re worried about the cost, don’t be. I’ll help with that. If you have to get your own place, I’d much rather you be close.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I just want to help.”
She took a shaky breath. Alarm raced through me. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.
“So, Zoe takes me around to all the shittiest places in town so I’ll think my best option is to stay at Salishan,” she said. “Meanwhile, you’re looking for a place to set me up.”
“Yeah, I’m—”
“Trying to help,” she said, enunciating the last word. “Un-fucking-believable. This is your solution? I tell you I’m pregnant, you barely speak to me for days, and now you think this is helping?”
“I found out from Cooper that you were apartment hunting,” I said. “What am I supposed to do with that information?”
“Not follow me around like a stalker.”
I looked away. I was dying inside—breaking apart—and I had no idea how to explain why. How to make her understand. “I don’t know how to handle this, Hannah. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“You stupid motherfu—”
She stopped, mid-insult—not that it was any less than I deserved—and closed her mouth. She was silent for a long moment, as if contemplating something. I opened and closed my fists, the tension killing me.
“You know what?” she said, finally. “I need a break.”
“A break? I thought that’s what you were doing at Zoe’s.”
“No, I need a break from all of you. Otherwise I’m going to say something I can’t take back.”
I could hear the frustration in her voice, feel the tension coming off her. It beat at me in waves.
“We’ll figure out my living arrangements later,” she said. “For now, I’m going on vacation.”
“A vacation? Now?”
“Yes,” she said with conviction. “I think I deserve it at this point.”
Before I could say anything else, she got out of the truck and slammed the door behind her.
“Hannah.”
I followed her out, but she walked straight for Zoe’s car and got in the back seat.
“Damn it.”
“I should take her home,” Zoe said, her voice sympathetic. “She’ll be okay, Leo. Don’t worry.”
The girls got back into Zoe’s car. I watched it pull away from the curb and drive off, feeling like my life had just ended.
Thirty-Five
Hannah
I woke to the sound of the ocean, the soothing rhythm of waves rousing me from sleep. That, and morning sickness. As much as I would have loved to spend a leisurely morning in the soft sheets, listening to the waves crash, I had to rush to the bathroom.
Lovely way to start my first day on vacation.
Vacation. Right. I was at the beach—a little town on the coast called Jetty Beach, to be exact—but this wasn’t really a vacation, no matter what I’d told Leo.
It was a break, though. A much-needed one.
After cleaning up, I went into the kitchen to make some tea. It was the off-season, so I’d had no trouble finding a little beach cabin to rent, even with no notice. I had it for the next three nights, but I’d asked about the possibility of staying longer. The owner had said they’d let me know if they got any other inquiries, but they didn’t think they would. It often sat vacant this time of year.
I’d put five hours between me and Leo. Between me and his whole family. A part of me felt relieved. Maybe they’d been trying to help, but I was pissed at most of them. At Zoe, for sabotaging my search for an apartment to get me to stay at the winery. At Cooper and Chase for helping Leo stalk me.
And Leo? I was fucking furious with him.
I sat at the kitchen table with my tea and gazed out at the water. The cabin was on the beach, past the grass-filled dunes, set up on stilts to preserve the ocean view. The sand looked windswept and barren, littered with pieces of seaweed and bits of driftwood left by the retreating tide. The sky was gray with clouds, the water reflecting the dull hue.
The view matched my mood. Gray and stormy.
Leo had made it abundantly clear that this baby was an instant deal-breaker. Although he hadn’t explicitly said it, he’d essentially dumped me the moment I told him. And even after I’d had several days to digest that reality, it still surprised me.
I hadn’t expected him to be excited, or drop to one knee and propose marriage. Shock was a completely understandable response. I was shocked. I didn’t expect him to take the news without at least some level of surprise. Even distress.
But that was it? It was over, just like that? Because I was having his baby?
I hadn’t thought Leo would be that guy. Apparently, I was wrong.
Tears fell for the first time since Leo had walked
away from me. I’d held them in, biting my lip, hiding behind anger and frustration. But now, in the silence of this little beach cabin, hours from where my life had gone haywire, I broke down.
I put my head down and sobbed. Cried until my shirt was wet, my stomach hurt, and my tea was cold.
Damn you, Leo.
After I’d cried myself out, I made a fresh cup of tea. Then I showered, dressed, and went into town in search of breakfast.
Just as it started to rain, I found a place called Old Town Café with a little sign in the window declaring they had coffee, donuts, and wifi. I went inside, ordered coffee and a homemade donut, and found a table by the window.
Shortly after I sat down, my phone buzzed with a text. I’d told Zoe I was leaving for a few days. Texted Shannon to let her know, too. I’d told Leo I was leaving in person, so I hadn’t felt the need to say anything else to him. Since I’d left Echo Creek, I’d had texts from Brynn and Amelia, both apologizing for their part in the shitty apartment hunt. One from Shannon, asking me to let her know when I arrived at my destination—which I had. Even Roland had texted me, late last night, saying he was up with the baby and wanted to make sure I’d made it to where I was going. I’d also gotten a series of heart gifs from Cooper and a text from Chase asking if I needed ice cream.
This time, it was Leo.
Leo: Where are you?
Me: On vacation.
Leo: But where did you go?
Me: I’m fine.
Leo: That’s not what I asked. Where are you?
Me: Leo, I’m safe. I need some space.
Leo: How do I know you’re really okay?
I groaned and turned the phone around. Snapped a selfie of me flipping off the camera and sent it to him.
Leo: I can’t tell where that is.
Me: But you can see I’m fine.
I didn’t want to trigger Leo to have a panic attack, but he knew I was fine, he’d seen my face. He didn’t need to know where I was. And I was done talking to his ass. I put my phone on the table, face down.
What did he want, anyway? If he didn’t want me anymore, why freak out over where I was? Was it some caveman thing about me having his baby? Was this his attempt to do the right thing? I didn’t want him to grudgingly pay child support for the next eighteen years while he hid in his cave.
I wanted him to want me enough. I wanted to be enough for him to take a chance.
It was so strange. I’d always felt like Leo and I understood each other. We’d been friends entirely through conversation and banter for so long, but this felt like we were talking right past each other. Like he wasn’t hearing a word I was saying. And maybe he was trying to say something to me other than what I was hearing. But if he was, I didn’t get it.
With a sigh, I opened my laptop, connected to wifi, and checked my emails. Nothing urgent. But my attention caught on one particular name, the already-opened email still in my inbox. Josephine Tate. My mother.
I’d emailed her a few times since leaving Jace. I hadn’t told her that he’d hit me. I didn’t want her to tell me she’d known he would. But I had told her that I’d moved, and tried to pick up the thread of conversation after that. Asked how she and Dad were doing, that sort of thing. She’d replied, but her emails were always short.
I didn’t blame her. Our relationship had been tense since my teens. It got worse when I was with Jace. Worse still when I’d moved in with him. I’d said things I’d come to regret. That was part of why I’d stopped myself from yelling at Leo yesterday. I knew the pain of words you couldn’t take back. And now, it was like we didn’t know how to talk to each other.
Maybe it was time I tried to change that.
I finished my donut and went back to the cottage. Instead of emailing, I sent her a text, asking if we could Skype call. I wanted to see her face, especially with what I had to tell her. She texted back to say sure, so I called.
The call chimed a few times, then connected. The screen opened up on a sunny patio, their succulent garden in the background. But no person.
“Mom? Are you there?”
“Hannah?”
“I think you need to turn the camera around.”
“Oh.” There was some shuffling, then my mother’s face appeared on the screen.
My mom’s dark hair had more gray than I remembered. Living in Arizona had given her a perpetual tan and the lines around her eyes had deepened.
“There you are,” I said. “Hi.”
“Hi,” she said. “How have you been?”
I took a deep breath. She had no idea how big that question was. “I don’t even know where to begin with that. Is Dad home?”
“He’s here.” She looked off to the side. “Calvin? Can you come here, please?”
I heard Dad’s voice in the background. “Coming.”
He sat down beside her and she adjusted her phone so I could see both of them. My dad still looked every bit the military man. His gray hair buzzed short, face smooth. Clothes neat, even though he was wearing a casual shirt—no longer a uniform.
“Hannah,” he said, sounding surprised.
“Hi, Dad.”
We all sat in an awkward silence for a moment.
I figured I needed to be the one to begin. “I’m just going to jump in and say I owe you both an apology. I said some things to you that I really regret, and I’m sorry. And you were right about Jace. He put me in the hospital when I tried to leave him.”
“Oh my god,” Mom said. Her phone fell with a bang and all I could see was bright blue sky.
It righted and Dad appeared to be holding it. Mom had a hand over her mouth.
“I’m okay now,” I said. “He was awful, and I know you could see it in the beginning when I couldn’t. And not only did I not listen to you, I threw it back in your face and told you I didn’t need you in my life. That was a really awful thing to do, and I’m so sorry.”
“Hannah,” Mom murmured, her eyes shining with tears.
“Where is he now?” Dad asked, his voice hard.
“Jail. He violated the protection order.”
Dad grunted.
“We owe you an apology, too,” Mom said. “We were so worried about you being with Jace, but that doesn’t excuse the way we pushed you. I know I said things I regret, too. Honey, I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, kiddo,” Dad said.
“Thank you,” I said.
It felt like a weight had been lifted—a weight I hadn’t even realized I’d been carrying. But there was still a lot more to tell.
“A lot has happened since I left Jace. I went to stay with a friend. His name is Leo Miles and he lives at his family’s winery in central Washington. That’s where I’ve been living.”
“Is that where you are now?” Mom asked.
“No, I’m out at the beach for a few days.” I paused, gathering the courage to tell them the truth. “Leo and I went from being friends to… more.”
Dad grunted again. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? After the last one?”
“I can promise you, Leo is nothing like Jace. And we’d been friends for years before anything happened between us. It wasn’t like he was a stranger.”
Dad still looked skeptical, but I continued anyway.
“Leo was in the military. He was injured. Severely, actually. I don’t know the full story, but he was burned.”
“That’s terrible,” Mom said.
Dad shook his head. “Damn shame.”
“I know. But he’s…” I paused, thinking about all the things Leo was. I was hurt and angry, but that didn’t change the fact that I loved him. “He’s a good man. I’m furious with him at the moment, but he is.”
“What happened?” Mom asked.
The concern in her voice almost broke me. I hadn’t realized until this moment how much I needed my mom right now. I swallowed hard to keep from crying.
“I’m pregnant. And please don’t tell me I’m irresponsible or reprimand me for letting this happen. Or
even badmouth Leo for being shitty about it. Please. That’s not what I need right now.” Despite my best efforts, tears leaked from the corners of my eyes. “I just needed you to know what was happening in my life.”
“Oh Hannah,” Mom said. “We’re not going to reprimand you. I’m so glad you called to tell us.”
Dad glowered. “Just tell me something. Do I need to come up there and deal with this guy?”
“No, Dad.” It was hard not to laugh a little. “No, Leo and I will figure out how to deal with everything.”
“Do you want to come here?” Mom asked. “We could make room for you and the baby.”
Her offer meant so much to me, I almost couldn’t reply. I swallowed back more tears, sniffing hard. “Thank you. I appreciate that so much. I’ll think about it. I’m trying not to make any rash decisions right now. That’s why I’m out here. I needed to get away where I could think and figure out what I need to do.”
“All right,” Mom said. “Just let us know.”
“I will. It’s so good to talk to you both.”
“You, too,” Mom said. “And even if you decide to stay there, we’d love to see you. Maybe we can come up for a visit. Or you can come here. Whatever’s easier.”
“I’d love that.”
I talked to them for a while longer. They caught me up on their latest adventures in desert gardening. They loved Arizona and planned to stay there for the foreseeable future—a big change for a military couple who’d spent most of their adult lives moving every few years. I told them more about Leo and his family. About Salishan. They thought it sounded magical.
And in so many ways, it was.
By the time we ended the call, I felt better than I had in days. That was a conversation I should have had with them a long time ago. Looking back, I didn’t know why I’d waited. Guilt for the things I’d said to them. Fear that they’d still be harsh toward me.
But they hadn’t. I’d been honest, and apologized. They had, too. No more misunderstandings. No more talking past each other.
I traced the outside of my phone with my fingertip, thinking about Leo. Had we been talking past each other these last few days? It wasn’t like we’d had a single calm conversation since I’d told him I was pregnant.
Hidden Miles: The Miles Family Book 4 Page 25
