by Leigh Walker
“Fine.” She lowered her voice. “A lot of us go through this. The adjustment can be shocking. But the way they’ve done this to you, it’s…worse. So I’m going to help you when I can. If you get out there and pass this test, I can tell you more, at least more than Finn told you. I’ve gotten permission for that much.”
“Permission from whom?”
“Cranston. He sets the rules, and we have to live by them.”
My stomach sank. “What happens if you break the rules?”
“You don’t want to find out, trust me.” She patted my hand, a surprising show of empathy. “C’mon. Let’s get you ready for your test. There might be an audience; I’m just warning you.”
“Perfect.” I laced up my sneakers, pulled my hair back into a ponytail, and stomped out behind her.
Cranston waited outside, wearing a whistle around his neck and holding a clipboard and stopwatch. Josh, Finn, and the others stood together, talking. Finn nodded at me, which of course made me blush. Rachel stood next to him, staring at me with a faint scowl, as if she didn’t approve. Kyan crossed his arms against his chest, his enormous biceps bulging, and nodded at me. I noticed he had a lightning bolt etched into the shaved portion of his hair.
Cranston patted his clipboard. “Riley. We’re going to do your first test. Are you ready?”
“Sure,” I mumbled.
“Let’s head to the track.”
Without saying a word, I followed him. I started to feel better. This must be a physical test. I was a decent runner, but I knew I couldn’t pass a bunch of challenging exercise-related examinations. I’d be back in Hanover by the end of the week, away from the crazies.
“Wait up.” Josh easily caught up with me. “Are you doing okay?”
I didn’t look at him. “No, no thanks to you.”
“What’d I do?”
“You haven’t told me anything, not one word! I thought you were my friend, but I guess I was wrong about that.”
“I haven’t told you anything because I can’t. Please don’t be mad at me,” he begged.
Kyan caught up with us. “You should totally be mad at him. There’s a lot he’s not doing for you.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Like what?”
Kyan leaned closer. “Let’s talk after. I can fill you in on all sorts of things. I’m much more useful than the rest of these deadbeats.”
I was about to ask what he meant when the track came into view. There were hurdles lined up all the way around. “Can someone please tell me why there are hurdles on the track?”
Josh scratched his head and looked sheepish. “Because you’re going to jump them?”
“Is that a guess?”
“No,” he admitted. “You’re totally going to jump them.”
“Fine.” I knew I’d fail this test and be going home. I just hoped it wasn’t in a full body cast.
“Riley, come with me.” Mr. Cranston walked through the opening in the fence, motioning for me to follow him.
I met him at the starting line. Finn, Emma, Josh and the others all climbed on the small set of bleachers. My stomach sank. I would have an audience to witness my failure and all the gangly, uncivilized tripping that would come before it.
“Have you raced on a track before?”
“Yes, sir. I did track my freshman and sophomore years.”
“I see.” He wrote something down. “Ever try hurdles?”
I nodded. “Once, and it didn’t go well.”
“Did you fall?” When I nodded again, he patted me on the shoulder. “Everybody does, even people who train every day.”
“Can’t I take some practice jumps?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you won’t fall today, and I don’t want you to think it’s because you took a practice run.” Cranston tapped his clipboard, his eyes finally sparkling with some warmth. “Today, you are going to concentrate really hard. Before you run, you’re going to visualize yourself clearing every hurdle on the track. You’re going to do some breathing exercises until your mind is clear, and then you’re going to crush this thing.”
“I don’t think that’s possible, sir.” Everyone else called him sir. I figured I should, too, so he’d be civil until I left the program or until he had to drive me to the emergency room after I broke my neck on a hurdle.
“Banish your negative thoughts, Riley. All of them. That’s an order. Now visualize.”
I felt Finn watching me as I closed my eyes. Cranston had issued his first command, and he’d been almost kind. I should at least pretend to follow orders. I pictured myself clearing each hurdle with ease, rounding the track and crossing the finish line. I took several deep breaths, trying to concentrate on the image.
Maybe I should try to pass this test. I wanted to go home, but not in a body cast.
I didn’t know how much time passed, but once my breathing stabilized, I opened my eyes. “I’m ready.”
He motioned to the line. “Go get situated.”
I blew out a deep breath as I headed to the starting line, shaking out my hands and thighs. You can do this. You might not crush it, but hopefully you won’t die.
Cranston waited until I crouched down. “Take your mark…go!” He blew the whistle.
I took off, not at a full sprint, but at a good pace. The first hurdle approached quickly, and I ran over it. All I did was take a bigger step. I cleared it easily, and I didn’t stop. I took four steps between each hurdle, and I didn’t waiver. I hit the one hundred-meter mark, clearing every hurdle in my path. Then I went down the back half of the track, the next two hundred meters, maintaining my pace. Four steps, hurdle. Four steps, hurdle. They kept coming, but I didn’t change my steps. I incorporated the hurdle into my pacing, matching it to me instead of me to it.
I cleared the next hurdle, then the next. My steps didn’t even stutter.
I hit the three-hundred-meter mark, the top of the track. The last hundred meters stretched before me. I felt Finn watching me from the bleachers.
Don’t trip
Don’t trip
Don’t trip
I ran faster, finally breaking into a sprint, as if someone had flipped my switch. I found my faster pace: three steps, hurdle. Three steps, hurdle. My mind remained clear of everything else—even fear of falling in front of Finn.
Laser-focused, I crossed the finish line a few seconds later. Sparse cheers erupted from the bleachers—Morgan, Emma, Finn, and Josh clapped. Maya and Rachel looked bored. Kyan scowled, as if he were disappointed I’d finished.
Mr. Cranston clicked off his stopwatch and smiled at me. “I told you! Good job, Riley.”
Breathing hard, I realized that I’d done exactly what he’d wanted—and the opposite of what I’d set out to do.
“Get some water, and meet me in the gym. Weights are next.”
I smiled as I caught my breath. I sucked at weights. I’d be back in my comfortable single in my dorm before I knew it.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” Finn appeared beside me as I headed to the station.
“No. I don’t know anything except that I have to get out of here. Oh, and that you’re crazy—I know that.”
He arched an eyebrow, seemingly undeterred. “Wasn’t I complaining not that long ago about you being too nice?” He grabbed his chin, pretending to pontificate. “Hmm, I guess I didn’t need to worry about it.”
“Ha-ha.” I wanted to say more mean things, but he dropped back to talk to Josh and the twins.
Kyan caught up to me. “You’re probably going to regret that.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t want to land on my face.”
“There are worse things than landing on your face,” he said, his voice mysterious. “Come see me later. I’ll tell you about them.”
Emma came up beside me and shooed Kyan away before I could ask what he meant. In a surprise move, she grabbed me and squeezed briefly. “Good job. I knew you could do it!”
“You did
?”
“Not really,” she admitted, “But I’m trying to be supportive so you don’t crack.”
“Gee, thanks. But don’t you owe me information, because I completed that task?”
“Let’s go for a walk when you’re done with Cranston. I can tell you more then.”
“Okay.” A small hope sparked inside me.
The spark crashed and burned as soon as I got inside the station. Cranston had set up a series of barbells and kettlebells leading up to a bench-press station.
I might not ever make it back to Hollingsworth or anywhere else. I would probably die this afternoon.
The group gathered along the wall to watch, and I inwardly cursed them.
Cranston tapped his clipboard, looking more excited than he should. “Okay, Riley. Let me show you this circuit. You’re going to be lifting these barbells in repetitions of three, then the kettlebells, then we’re moving on to the bench press…”
I tried to listen, while I simultaneously prayed to survive.
9
A Walk To Remember
“Time for a break. You’ve earned it,” Cranston said, kindly.
He’d softened toward me over the course of the afternoon after I’d performed each test with more strength and agility than I’d thought possible. At each test, Cranston had coached me through an intense visualization process, followed by some breathing techniques, and it had worked surprisingly well. I completed the weight circuit easily and then a pretty vigorous aerobic yoga set. Maybe I was stronger and more coordinated than I’d ever given myself credit for? Maybe my performance had been enhanced by a rush of serotonin because I really hadn’t wanted to make an ass of myself in front of Finn? Or perhaps the visualization had worked. I couldn’t know. But thus far, I’d passed the tests with flying colors. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Emma waited for me beside the doors. She handed me a berry-colored shake. “Protein berry-blast with antioxidants,” she explained. “You need it after today.”
I took a sip. It was delicious. “Thanks.”
“It also has chamomile in it. You clearly need to chill, and it’s a natural relaxant.”
“Okay?” She might be insulting me, but I couldn’t be sure. “Where did you get it?”
“There’s a full kitchen here. Meals are supplied by the base, but we never see any staff. There’s also a fully stocked panty, with desserts and snacks and drinks. You can go in and get whatever you want, whenever you want. And they have all the makings of great smoothies.”
I took another sip as we headed for the door. “At least there’s an upside.”
“It’s not all bad. You’ll see.”
We got outside, and I pulled on my hoodie. My sweat had cooled, and the temperature dropped as the sun set. The western skyline glowed pink, a sure sign that tomorrow would be another beautiful day. I shivered, wondering what else tomorrow would hold.
Emma headed toward a walking trail. “You did well on the tests.”
“Thank you. I’d planned to flunk all of them, but it didn’t work out that way.”
“Riley…you can’t flunk the tests. First of all, I don’t think you’re physically capable of flunking. You’re too competitive. I can see it in your eyes. Second of all, Cranston wasn’t being honest with you when he said you could leave. He’d never let you switch groups, even if you failed every test.”
My stomach plummeted, but determined to get to the bottom of this once and for all, I refused to lose my cool. “Why not?”
“Because he can’t discharge you. You were chosen for our group for a reason—a reason I can’t tell you. That’s not my place. But trust me when I say that it’s not something you can walk away from.”
“But what would happen if I did walk away? I mean, really—what could they do?” I struggled to keep my voice even.
Her eyes flashed. “They would come and get you.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “I don’t understand who ‘they’ are and all the secrecy…and the stuff that Finn told me. It’s crazy, Emma!”
She started walking again, motioning for me to follow. “It’s not crazy, though. I swear it’s not.”
We walked in silence for a minute. My thoughts whirled.
Emma glanced at me. “Okay, are you calm?”
“As calm as I can be, given the circumstances.”
“Good—I don’t want your monitor going off again.” She held up her hand to stop me before I could ask about it. “I swear I’ll tell you everything I can, but you have to promise me you’re going to stay on an even keel.”
“I promise.” My voice sounded far away. For some reason, I didn’t think Emma would lie to me. I braced myself for whatever she was about to say.
“Here’s the thing. I might not look like it, but I am a career military specialist.”
I looked at her fluorescent pink short-shorts and combat boots, which were clearly a fashion choice and not government issued. “Jesus, Emma. C’mon.”
“It’s true. I know it’s hard to believe because I’m so young, and yes, I’m very fashionable, but it’s true. I was drafted to this unit when I was ten. I’ve been with Mr. Cranston and most of the others ever since. Sometimes, we break into smaller pods, like over the past few weeks when we were up at Hollingsworth, but we always come back together. I’ve never fought in an actual war, but that’s about to change.”
I licked my lips, which had suddenly gone dry. “Why is it about to change?”
“Our unit’s been activated, and that’s why we came to get you. You’re the last person we needed in the group. As far as I know, you complete the circle.” She sounded completely sure of herself.
I kept walking, but I felt dizzy.
Emma grabbed my wrist and checked my pulse until I jerked my arm away.
She shrugged. “You look pale. I’m making sure you’re not about to pop.”
“Go on. I’m listening, and I swear I won’t pop—whatever that means.”
Emma led me further down the path. “We’re a secret division of the FBI. We actually go by that name; The Division. Most Federal employees have never even heard of us, not even a lot of people at the CIA and the FBI. We’re governed by the Executive Branch, but we are decidedly off the books. You won’t find us as a line item in a budget report or anywhere else.”
I tried to suspend my disbelief. “How long has it…The Division, I mean…been around?”
“I don’t know the exact number of years. It was in development for a long time before they could start actively training us. The Division is designed specifically to fight domestic terror threats.”
I shoved my hands into my pockets.
“What?”
“You seem like you believe what you’re saying, and maybe it’s even true.”
Emma looked at me, her eyes wide. “It is true. I swear.”
I didn’t want to believe her, but I did.
“But even if it’s true…it has nothing to do with me. It can’t! I don’t know anything about the military or terrorists or anything!” Before Hollingsworth, I’d been a lonely, straight-A geek. The only remarkable thing about me was that I had a dead father and a dead sister. There had never been anything special about me. This didn’t make sense.
“We’ll teach you what you need to know.”
Unable to articulate a proper response, I shook my head and kept walking.
“Now that you’ve been recruited, you need to open your mind to accepting this new reality.”
“I don’t…I don’t know what to say…”
“We need you, Riley. I didn’t want to believe it, especially when I met you. You seemed so unprepared, so normal that I didn’t want to believe it for your sake. But it’s true, and I’m sure of it now.”
My head hurt. I trudged along the path, mind whirling. “I don’t understand any of this, but most of all, I don’t understand why me. I’m nothing. I’m no one.”
“That’s not true.” Emma glanced at me. “And I know y
ou don’t believe it, but we’re going to prove it to you. And it’s not going to be fun for any of us.”
My heart thudded in my chest. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, you are going to have to uncover what you’re made of over the next few weeks. We only have this summer to train, then we’re being deployed.” She held up her hand again, to stop my impending litany of questions. “I know you want to talk about going back to Hollingsworth and matriculation and a thousand questions about all that, but forget it. None of that matters anymore.”
“I can’t just be…deployed…” The word tasted funny on my tongue. “I can’t quit school. My education matters to me.”
“I know, I know. You think it does. Let it go for now, okay? You weren’t taking classes this summer, anyway. You’re getting the work-study credit you signed up for, even if you didn’t sign up for the rest of this.” She laughed.
“It’s not funny.”
She rolled her eyes. “It is if you can’t locate your sense of irony. You’ve been drafted into an elite government unit that pays Hollingsworth to act as a cover, and all you care about is your silly, overpriced high school diploma.”
“My silly, overpriced high school diploma that I’ve been working toward since kindergarten! Please stop making fun of me.”
“I wasn’t. I’m not.” Emma shook her head. “Sorry. I forget how sensitive civilians can be about these things. We don’t worry about degrees and stuff like that in our group. We worry about national security.”
I stopped walking. “But I won’t be able to help. I can’t fight. I can run, and I’m in decent shape, but I’m not strong. I don’t have any special skills. I don’t even know a second language!”
“All of that will come in time.”
I shook my head, my breathing ragged. This might be what a panic attack felt like.
Emma’s face softened. “Listen—”
“No, you listen. Even if I accept everything you’re saying as true, and I don’t.” I said this even as I had a sinking feeling I should. “What I CANNOT accept is that I’m somehow so special that I’m supposed to be here!”
Emma reached out and patted my hand. “The thing is, you are special. Really special. And that’s what you’re going to find out next.”
